Her eyes watered and filled with fear. She thought he would abandon her, but Gerard had no intention of ever doing that again. “Why are you asking me this?” she asked.
“Because if we’re to face the future together, I need to know that you’re ready for anything that comes our way.”
She pulled in a deep breath, and her eyes widened. “What are you saying?”
He smiled. “I’m saying that I love you, Rose, though I suspect you knew this. We’ve been dancing around the truth for some time now, haven’t we?”
Rose covered her mouth before turning away. Her body seemed to shake with emotion. “Gerard… I could never forgive you if this was all a game—”
He turned her back toward him. “I’m taking off my mask, and I’m letting you see me for who I am, Rose. I, Gerard de Gray, am in deeply in love with you. Now, how do you feel?” Or more importantly, did she truly forgive him enough to give him another chance? Gerard’s own blood was pumping furiously. “I know I hurt you, Rose, but I swear I'll never do it again. Not that way. I never had any intention of marrying Miss Louisa—”
Rose frowned. “Don’t bring that woman up in my presence again.”
Gerard nodded. His pulse spiked, and he knew his hands were shaking. “As you wish.” He’d do anything for her. “I plan to ask your father for your hand.”
Rose’s eyes widened. “You do?”
He nodded. “And your brothers. But until then, I wish to know that I’ve not completely lost favor in your eyes. Am I still in possession of your whole heart?”
“Did you memorize everything I said?” she asked in further embarrassment.
He frowned. “Are you purposefully torturing me? Rose, I want an answer.”
She laughed and narrowed her eyes. “It would serve you right if I didn’t answer until next week or even next year.”
Gerard closed his eyes and tried to get ahold of his anxious feelings. He couldn’t wait a year. Not even a week. The very thought of it made him ill.
She touched his cheek, and he opened his eyes. “I will always love you, Gerard.”
He waited patiently for her to go on, but when she didn’t, he pressed. “Rose.”
She wrinkled her nose. “Gerard, I will always choose you.” The choice had always seemed so simple for her and, finally, it was the same for him. There had never been another choice but Rose.
He kissed her then and would have done so deeper if they’d not been interrupted at that very moment.
At the clearing of a throat, they both looked up and found Reuben leaning against the doorframe. His arms were crossed and his disapproval apparent. “I hope this means I should expect a wedding soon.”
Gerard stood and took Rose in his arms, but he spoke to Reuben. “It seems she’s found it in her heart to forgive and accept me. I’m only glad it didn’t take me longer to come to my senses.”
Reuben visibly relaxed. “As am I. Alexandra will be glad to hear of this.” His gaze moved to Rose. “Are you sure about him?”
Gerard’s heart stuttered once again, and he knew that after the pain he’d caused Rose, his anxiety would likely not leave him until he truly made her his wife. Every minute before then, she could change her mind, and he’d deserve it.
But once she was his wife, there would be nowhere she could go that he couldn’t follow. It was as though accepting Rose as his ultimate fate had brought out a possessive and slightly needy edge in him. Here was a woman his father could not control, who marched to the tempo of her own heart. And that heart beat for him.
Letting Rose leave his side was like cutting off an arm, painful. She only went as far as Reuben, however, to give him a hug.
“I’ve never been more sure of anything, Reuben.” She rested her head on Reuben’s chest as he hugged her to him.
The siblings shared a moment and then Gerard’s eyes lifted to meet Reuben’s.
The threat he’d not seen before now rested fully in the knighted lord’s green eyes, and Gerard knew that if he so much as stepped a toe out of line, Reuben would be there to make him regret it. He held Rose as though she were the most precious thing in the world. His hand rested on her hair and on her back with a sense of ownership. He may have taken Rose on as a younger sister, but with their age difference, Gerard was sure that there had been much paternal care in Reuben’s nurturing of her. And like a man who’d lived through war and bloodshed, Reuben would not hesitate to end Gerard if it came to it.
He slowly pulled Rose away from him and caught her chin. “Let me speak to the earl for a moment.”
Rose placed her hands on her brother’s chest. “Don’t scare him away.” There was light teasing in her words, but Gerard sensed the truth in them as well.
“I’m not going anywhere,” Gerard replied. Never again.
Rose turned and smiled at him and then excused herself from the balcony.
Reuben moved into the shadows. “I’ll only say this once. If you hurt her—”
“I won’t—”
“You’ll pray your father had gotten to you first.” His green eyes glittered in challenge and then, like a phantom, he swept from the balcony and left.
Gerard blinked, then followed Rose a moment later. He found her standing with an older gentleman he didn’t recognize in the foyer. When Rose turned to look at him, she was weeping. A handkerchief was pressed to her lips, and her eyes held pain like he’d never seen before.
He rushed to her. “What’s the matter?”
“Her father is dead,” the man behind her said as he removed his hat. “I met his driver at an inn not far from here. He pulled the dead man from the broken carriage.” The man looked away and cleared his throat. “I… only wish that I’d been able to say goodbye to George properly.”
“George?” Gerard wrapped Rose in his arms. “Did you know him?”
The man met Gerard’s eyes. “Oh, yes. He was my brother.”
* * *
34
CHAPTER
THIRTY-FOUR
.
.
.
* * *
* * *
.
Rose stared at the blank page in her journal and didn’t bother to lift her pen. She had no idea what to write or where to even start. Every time she thought she did, tears would blur her vision and she’d become lost in her grief. Her father was dead, and she’d barely known him.
She glanced up and watched Nash work from the large table in the middle of the office. His large frame made the enormous furniture small in contrast. His dark red-tinted head was bent over a paper he was furiously writing upon. She envied his ability to do so, despite knowing the true reason she’d yet to write a single word in the last two days.
She didn’t want to write about her father because if she did, then she knew it would become real, and at the moment, there was only so much she could take. As her body became racked with coughing, she wondered for a moment if her broken heart had somehow made her ill. Her head felt light and, every so often, her body would ache, though she’d yet to tell anyone in the room that. She didn’t want them to worry.
Chris came over from his place by the window with a glass of water in his hand. “That’s the sixth time in the last hour you’ve coughed. Perhaps you should go to bed.”
Rose shook her head, even though the action took effort. Bed did sound like a lovely idea, but she wanted to write, and the small writing desk in the corner of the room was the perfect place.
Not only that, but there was no view of the garden from where she sat, unlike her bedroom. Every time she was in her bedchamber, her eyes became drawn to the garden and her memories of her last few moments with Lord Stonewhire returned. She’d recall his charming smile and the comfort she’d drawn from him. She’d had plans for them to get to know one another and for her to teach him about love.
Now she’d never know.
The tears came again suddenly. “I hope he knew…”
Chris knelt by her chair. “He knew,�
� he promised just as he had for the last two days. His tawny-colored irises held an expression she rarely saw on him. Sympathy. Most of the time, Chris was rather hard. Those with weaker spirits avoided his presence.
Rose wiped at her tears just as a knock came at the door.
Reuben opened it, and her uncle’s voice flowed from the other side.
“I wish to speak to my niece,” Lord Montgomery said with heat. “She needs me to offer her comfort.”
“She has all the comfort she needs,” Reuben told the man. “If she wishes to speak to you, she will let you know. Until then.” He closed the door on the new Marquess of Stonewhire’s face.
Uncle Titus seemed so intent on seeing her, but Rose continued to refuse him. It had been her father’s last request that she stay away from him, and Rose planned to keep that promise for as long as she could. She was, nonetheless, saddened by her cousin William’s absence. She’d have enjoyed seeing him, but he’d not come.
Her brothers had been surrounding her for the last few days, only ever leaving to see how Alexandra was faring. Her sister had been told about the news even with Justin’s protest. He was worried about Alex having an adverse reaction, but Alex had proven strong enough to handle it without losing the baby.
However, Justin had gotten his way in regards to keeping Alex away from Rose until whatever illness Rose had vanished.
Another series of coughs racked her, and Chris turned to Reuben. “We need to get her in bed.”
Rose shook her head. “I’m fine.” Her voice was hoarser than usual, but she blamed it on her sorrows and nothing more. “Please, don’t make me.”
“We can have you moved to another room.” This came from Nash, who was now staring at her with watchful eyes, his work forgotten.
A knock sounded on the door, and Reuben swung it open. He looked ready to deliver a set down when his shoulders relaxed, and he stepped to the side. “Speak to her and perhaps you can get her to go to bed.”
Gerard stepped into the room, and Rose felt some of her grief lift. She wasn’t entirely alone. Though she knew that to be the case with her brothers around, it was different knowing she had Gerard to count on. He’d been by her side just as much as her brothers had, if not more, and had only stepped away to send out his own correspondence.
He placed a chair next to hers just as Chris moved away. The minute Gerard sat, she was in his arms, leaning on him and breathing in his warm scent. His arms went around her, and they stayed quiet for a time and listened to the sound of feet walking on carpet before the door closed.
Gerard looked over her head and then turned back to her. “I won’t ask you how you are feeling since I already know. So if you feel like speaking, I am here to listen, but if not, then we’ll sit here all day, and you can avoid the bed as long as you wish.”
“Really?” She looked around the room and noticed they were alone. “I thought you’d agree with my brothers.”
The lines on his masculine face were expressionless. “Don’t be too surprised. If you go to bed, then I’ll never be able to see you. I’m being selfish.”
She smiled for what felt like the first time in days, but it didn’t last. Placing her head on his shoulder, Rose pressed closer to him. “I can’t write.” He knew she kept a journal. “I don’t know what to say.”
“What do you want to say?” His hand settled on her head, and she felt the pressure of his mouth on her hair.
Rose closed her eyes and more tears fell, her face now burning from the sensation. “It seems so unfair. Two nights ago, I was about to write about the happiest event in my life, but instead, your proposal was trumped by yet another tragedy. I’ve been writing sadness for so long that I don’t dare write another page of it.”
His hand trailed down her back, stroking her lazily. “What have you been writing about?”
Never before had she answered that question honestly, but now she could. “You. I’m always writing about you.”
His hand stopped. “Me?”
She lifted from his chest, which took more effort than it should have, and reached for her journal. “Here.” She turned to meet his eyes as she handed it to him.
His golden irises were full of hesitation. “You know, Rose, people don’t usually share their journals.”
She shrugged. “But I want you to read it, if only to see your reaction.” It was a great way to distract herself from what she didn’t want to think about.
Gerard, obviously knowing her thoughts, opened to the first page and read silently. She knew what he would find. It was the night she discovered her favorite color. The gold of his eyes.
He paused and turned to look at her, and what she saw made her breath catch. His eyes glassed over, and he closed them before turning away. After another moment, he looked at her again and smiled. “I’m so glad I didn’t ruin us.”
She was glad as well.
He bent over and kissed her gently. “I love you.”
She opened her mouth to say the same but had to quickly turn away when another series of coughs hit her. When she was finally looking at Gerard once more, she saw his concern.
“I just noticed how pale you look,” Gerard said. “And after what just happened, I’m beginning to agree with your brothers. You need to go to bed.”
She frowned, but in a blink all the fight left her and she nodded.
He stood and helped her up.
Rose took his hand, but when she stood, the floor shifted beneath her feet and made her lose her balance.
“Rose?” Gerard called.
She blinked and tried to respond, but then the earth lurched again and there was nothing.
* * *
35
CHAPTER
THIRTY-FIVE
.
.
.
* * *
* * *
.
Gerard left Rose’s room once the doctor gave his recommendation that she remain in bed.
He’d only left when the maid suggested removing her clothes and planned to return the moment she was in her night rail. He tried not to seem worried, but there was no fighting the fact that he was.
He nearly ran into William in the hallway. He’d not seen the man in days and had been sure William had left when Lady Emma had returned to London, which had irritated Gerard, since Rose kept asking for him.
“Where have you been?” Gerard's anger was clear in his voice but he didn’t care.
William jumped, and his blue eyes widened. He pressed his hands to his heart and gasped. “Were you looking for me?
Gerard narrowed his eyes. “No, but Rose was. She asked for you every day. She was almost sure you’d left. Have you been here this entire time?”
William paled, and Gerard had his answer.
He shook his head and knew it was best he leave before a fit of violence hit him. He wasn’t entirely angry with William. He was angry with whatever ailment had grabbed the woman he loved.
If anything happened to her…
“Leave if you plan to be of no help,” Gerard told him. “Rose doesn’t need someone around who doesn’t care.” He started down the hall.
William stumbled on his words. “Wait.”
Gerard turned around and found Rose’s cousin with his hands pressed to his mouth, a worried expression on his face.
“I…” William dropped his hands, his eyes haunted. “How is she?”
“Ill,” Gerard told him. “The doctors have no idea what’s come over her.”
William’s shattering heart was reflected on his face. “Oh, dear. He did it then.”
Gerard narrowed his eyes. “What?”
William looked around and, in a blink, tears were spilling down his eyes. “My father… His plan worked, and he didn’t even need me to carry it out.”
Gerard moved toward him. “What are you talking about?” His stomach clenched with worry. “Do you know what’s wrong with Rose?”
William looked around again.
G
erard grabbed his arm and told himself to keep the pressure light. “What is going on?”
“What’s happened?” Nash asked as he came into the hall. He was followed by Chris and Reuben, who’d just left Rose’s room.
Chris glared at William. “Where have you been?”
It was the same question Gerard wanted answered.
Rose’s cousin looked around at the men circling him and shook his head. “It’s nothing. I can assure you.”
“He knows something about what is happening to Rose,” Gerard said.
William was snatched from Gerard and gathered by his collar by Nash. Only his toes touched the floor.
“Speak,” Nash commanded with a growl.
William whimpered and then, like the gates that held back a flood, he broke. “My father wanted me to infect Rose with some ailment he’d brought with him. That is the reason I’ve been avoiding her. I refused to do it.”
Chris frowned. “Where does a man get a disease like this?”
William had his hands over Nash’s. “He received it from Lady Louisa, who said her father’s patient died of it, an unknown sickness that killed in a matter of days. He brought it on his handkerchief.”
Gerard recalled the handkerchief Rose had pressed to her face the day her uncle arrived. “He infected her.” And he told the rest of the group what he’d seen.
Nash shook William. “Why didn’t you tell us?”
William’s eyes widened. “I didn’t know he’d already given her the handkerchief. My father told me that Lady Louisa said the infection might not last long on the handkerchief, so I thought that if I held out long enough, the illness would be ineffective. No one would get hurt, especially if Rose refused to see my father.”
The Games the Earl Plays Page 20