Rae felt ill. I don’t believe it—but what if other people do? “Does he contact you often outside of class?”
The girl leaned closer to whisper. “Every day. I’ve got his e-mails saved. Just in case, you know, I need the protection later.”
She trilled a metallic laugh that made Rae want to punch her. However, the knots in her stomach untangled. She laughed, too, hard and mean, not nice at all, but she couldn’t help it. “You really don’t know much about him, do you?”
“What do you mean?” The girl turned her attention behind Rae and paled, her gaze darting side to side for escape. Rae edged closer, keeping her backed into the wall.
“If you really knew Dr. Connagher, then you wouldn’t have said anything about e-mail. Take your story to the dean and she’ll laugh, too.”
“Is there a problem here?” Conn’s voice echoed with menace. He wrapped his arm around Rae’s shoulders, a sign of possession that even the silly twit would recognize.
“No, no,” she babbled, backing away.
“You’re not supposed to be at this event, Miss Barrak. Perhaps we need to speak to Dean Strobel again. I’m sure she could assign you some extra credit if you don’t have enough work to keep you busy.”
The girl whirled and ran away.
Conn sighed heavily, his mouth against Rae’s ear. “I need to see you in my office, Miss Jackson. Immediately.”
Chills crept down her spine. His voice was heavy, his hands hard, taking command as he led her out of the reception. Her heart pounded.
His office. He was taking her to his office. Her knees trembled so badly she could hardly manage the stairs.
“Don’t make me throw you over my shoulder, Rae.”
14
His office looked exactly like she remembered. Books lined the walls and were even stacked on the floor because the bookcases were overflowing. Despite the clutter everywhere else, the glossy cherry top of his desk was completely bare.
She remembered the cold press of that wood against her cheek, his arm heavy across her back, the sting of his palm…
Heart hammering, she twined her cold fingers together. She didn’t trust her voice. Did he think she believed that silly twit of a girl? Was he upset? Even though he wasn’t touching her, she could feel the heat and silent menace of his body behind her.
He shut the door. Frozen in place, she waited, blood rushing in her ears.
At the ominous click of the lock, she jumped like she’d been shot. Or slapped.
A sound escaped her throat that sounded rather distressingly like a squeak.
Still without touching her, he sat down behind his desk. Dear Lord above, he looked incredible: his dark suit somber against the crisp white shirt, his face chasmed with grooves between his eyes and the stark angles of his cheeks. She’d always loved his distinctive face and had stared endlessly during class, aching to map that unknown territory with her fingers and lips.
“Come here, darlin’.”
Surely it was a good sign that he wasn’t using formalities. Legs trembling, she edged around his desk, still gripping her hands together to hide the tremors. The long black skirt of the velvet dress Miss Belle had picked out for her clung to her legs, threatening to trip her, but she went. She couldn’t have refused him even if she wanted to.
“Are you afraid?”
Truth, always the truth with him. “A little.”
His voice remained easy, a low, soft rumble. Leaning back in his chair, he winked. “Turned on, too, I dare say.”
Her fingertips were numb with cold, but sweat trickled down her back. If he’d touch her and kiss her like last night, then all the nerves would dissolve, but this reserved silence unnerved her. It was too much like those dreams that had tormented her for years.
She bit her lip, trying to decide whether she had to answer or not. She’d been tempted not to wear anything beneath the long dress so she could torment him about it, but in the end, she hadn’t had the courage. It’s a good thing, because she couldn’t imagine walking around so messy with no panties.
Silence stretched out. She hated it when he did that, waiting for her to answer. Stubbornly, she clenched her teeth and refused to answer just to spite him, even though heat flared through her entire body. It was all she could do to stand still.
“I apologize for that nasty scene downstairs.”
She twitched with surprise, jerking her gaze up to his face. Only then did she realize she’d been staring at the black material stretched across his groin.
“Like what you see, darlin’?” His voice purred through her, his mouth quirking with amusement even while his eyes darkened. He reached out and fingered the flowing skirt that draped her hips. “I sure like what I see. All of this material covering your body makes me wonder what you might have on beneath.”
His breath sighed out and he leaned forward, slowly slipping his arms around her waist in a loose hug. “That student caused me so many problems that I didn’t get the chance to go shopping for you yet. I will tomorrow, darlin’, I promise.”
Unsure of his mood, she ran her fingers through the short dark hair at the base of his neck. He made another low noise, this one of pleasure. Drawing her closer, he pressed his cheek against the bodice of her dress and just held her.
It dawned on her that he was upset, tormenting himself about that student. She was suddenly furious at that girl for causing him such distress. “She’s not worth it.”
“I know, but I hate to fail, darlin’, even with students like her who couldn’t give a rat’s ass about learning something. I always have the hope that maybe I can show them something new that will grab their attention and change their opinion. I want to spark their motivation to do more than drink and party.”
His breath was hot and moist, soaking through the material to torment her breasts. While she hadn’t been brave enough to go commando, she couldn’t wear a bra with the low-cut back of this gown. “Was she right about the rumors?”
He pulled back enough to look up at her, his brow creased. “What rumors?”
“Am I going to cause problems for you because I was your student?”
“Darlin’, that was five years ago. Damn that little hussy for worrying you. The most important people I care about on campus already know I was tempted by you while you were in my class, and I protected us both as well as I could. Dean Strobel double-graded your work herself as a result to make sure I was completely fair in my treatment of you, and she didn’t have a single concern about our conduct. There aren’t going to be any rumors or problems about us, and Miss Barrak is already in a world of hurt with the dean. My colleagues have dealt with students like her before, and I’ve been very careful to make sure she can’t hurt me.”
“Do they—” She swallowed hard, searching his gaze. “Do they know what happened in here?”
“Of course not. You and I are the only ones who know what I did to you on my desk. What I’m going to do to you now.”
Conn watched her reaction. Her gaze flickered down to his mouth briefly, and her eyes widened with anxiety. Her pulse thumped in her neck so strongly he could see it, and her body stiffened against him. Her nipples poked at the bodice of the dress, but she nearly took a step away from him.
Afraid, but aroused, and damned if the combination didn’t kill him. He liked a hint of fear—if it was a fun sort of fear that knew deep down he’d never hurt her. He wanted her to respect his control and wonder exactly how far he’d go, because he was going to push and take as much as she’d give.
As long as she trusted him.
He tightened his hands slowly, watching her for any indication of real fear. “Miss Belle is a bloody genius.”
A startled laugh escaped Rae’s throat, breaking the rising tension in her trembling body. “Why do you say that?”
“I can’t imagine two entirely different dresses than this black one and the white one you wore last night, but I honestly can’t tell which one I like better.” He molded his hands down
her hips, following the fall of crushed velvet, then slowly smoothed his hands up the curves of her waist. “From the front, it’s very modest yet attractive, drawing my attention to the way the velvet hugs your body. It makes me want to drape my body over yours just like this dress.”
He allowed his voice to roughen on the last, although he waggled his eyebrows a little to make her laugh again.
“Then you turn around…” Tightening his grip on her hips, he told her to turn with the silent command of his body. After what happened the last time he’d turned her away from him right here before his desk, this was a tough test.
Braced for her refusal, he would release her immediately.
Stiffly, she let him turn her around but he could hear her breath rasping in the room.
“You turn around, and I see the expanse of your lovely back, bare, vulnerable, and open.” Lightly, he walked his fingertips up her spine. “You hair is pulled up to make sure every naked inch is visible, tormenting me with the thought of kissing every bump of your spine.”
He leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to her skin. She shivered, her breath still shaky and loud, but the sharper edge of fear softened. Kissing a slow, wet path down her back, he applied gentle pressure to her shoulders, urging her to lie down on his desk.
Her face touched the wood and she cried out, tension trembling through her.
“Shhh, darlin’. I’m going to make sure you never dread coming to my office again. I’m going to give you a new dream to keep you up at night, a dream right here on my desk.”
Without lifting his mouth, he scooted his chair closer. He was extremely careful not to hold her down this time. If she wanted to get up, she could.
Her skin felt like rose petals, the sweet feminine taste of her as delicate. He lingered in the hollow of her back with long, lazy swipes of his tongue, while he tormented himself with the vision of her fully naked and stretched out on top of his desk. She could put her whole luscious body on the cherry top and he could roll his chair from head to toe and taste every inch.
“Conn?”
He smiled against her. “Darlin’?”
“Can I make a request?”
Ah, she had his full attention. “Absolutely. What do you want, darlin’?”
“I didn’t know,” she whispered, her voice achingly shy, “if you would let me ask for things…” She shrugged her shoulders, tucking her face against her biceps.
Sitting back up, he rolled her over and sat her on the edge of his desk so he could see her face. This conversation was too important for there to be any misunderstandings later. “Rae, if you want me to do something, ask. I love you, darlin’. I want to make you happy no matter what it is. I especially want to know your deepest darkest fantasies and how best to turn you on. I want you shivering and crying out your pleasure, not silent and afraid to make a request.”
She searched his face, her eyes solemn, her fingers aimlessly plucking at the lapels of his tuxedo. “You said you liked control. I thought that meant…control.” She frowned and gave a frustrated jerk of her head. “What does that mean, really? What do you expect of me? When can I—”
“Let me make myself very clear.” He leaned forward, holding her gaze. “I’m arrogant and just a tad bossy.”
Her mouth quirked.
“There will be times when you want to smack me. Do so. Then we’ll have fun wrestling and I might get to smack your bottom myself. There will definitely be times when we make love quick and hard and furious, because I swear, darlin’, I’m gonna die if I don’t get inside you soon. But sometimes I’ll simply lie on my back and let you do whatever you wish to your little heart’s desire. And yes, someday I want to tie you to my bed and torment you until you beg and scream, and I want to turn you over my knee and fire up your ass, too.”
She sucked in a shaky breath, her hands tightening on his coat. Her eyes gleamed, luminous and dark, her mouth soft with desire. Slowly, he leaned in closer until his lips hovered over hers.
“Whatever we’re doing, I promise I’ll stop the moment you tell me to, and if you ever need me to do something else, I’ll do it. Immediately. Because I want to be everything you could possibly need. So tell me, darlin’, what were you going to ask me to do?”
She smiled wobbily. “I was going to ask if you could hold me down a little without spanking me, but I kind of like being up here, too, where I can see you.”
“Hell yeah, I can do that, darlin’,” he drawled, dropping his gaze to the swell of her breasts modestly covered by the gown. “We’ll start with a little light bondage to make sure you like it, but I think being tied up will drive you wild. God knows the thought is driving me wild.”
“Okay,” she whispered. “I’m just—I’m not sure about the other.”
“No rush, darlin’.” He trailed his fingers across her cheek and down her neck. “I have something else in mind you might like.”
Her voice caught on a moan as he tugged at the long sleeves of the dress. “It’s not that I don’t think I’ll like it…”
Bit by bit, he worked the velvet lower until the edge slipped off her shoulders and dropped past her breasts. “I know, darlin’. You’re afraid you’ll like it too much.”
The sight of her perfect breasts sent a knife thrust of need through his belly. He took a firm grip on himself, lightly stroking his fingers up and down her neck and shoulders, breathing deeply, until he could trust himself to remain fully in control.
Speaking of which—
He slid his palms down her arms and took her hands down to the desk. Leaning forward, he pinned her hands firmly beneath his while he breathed on her swollen nipple. She shifted her fingers, lifting against his hold to test his grip.
She moaned low and deep in her throat, a purr of pleasure that made him smile. He hadn’t touched her intimately yet; it was his control, the act of being held down, that turned her on. Flicking his tongue out, he grazed a wet circle about her areola. She jerked harder beneath his hands, unable to stop the helpless little struggles.
Every jerk and cry aroused him more.
Leaning back, she offered her breasts for more attention. Licking and sucking, he nibbled from one to the other, even grazing with his teeth. The rougher he got, the more she cried out, squirming against him, working her thighs around his waist to grip him close. Carefully, he gripped the full curve of her breast with his teeth and slowly tightened his jaws. Small pain only, enough to flavor the pleasure of his touch, while she ground against him.
She strained harder, a dam swelling against a cresting flood, and then she gave, trembling with the force of her climax.
Releasing her breast, he licked the indentations his teeth had left in her tender flesh. “Shhh, darlin’. I don’t think anybody’s up here, but we need to be careful.”
“Please,” she gasped, arching against him.
“What do you want?”
“I want to take you into my mouth.”
Locking down hard on the violent surge pulsing in him, Conn let go of her hands and sat back. Eager, she slid off the desk into his lap, her hands sliding down his chest.
“No.” Her fingers brushed the front of his trousers, and he quickly snagged her hand and jerked it away. “Not yet.”
“Why not?” Breathing hard, she searched his face. “You’ve given me pleasure. I want to touch you, too. Aren’t you…hurting?”
“Yeah.” Jaws tight, he ran a hand through his hair. Hurting wasn’t enough to describe the heavy ache burning like a fist of fire against his spine. “But you’re not ready to go there yet.”
Her gaze dropped and she slid off his lap, tugging up the bodice of her dress.
Damn it, he hadn’t meant to hurt her or make her feel rejected. He caught her right hand and kissed her knuckles and the tips of her fingers until she lifted her gaze back to his.
“A blow job is my trigger, my ultimate act of domination. It’s like a switch that gets flipped in me, like what happens to you when I hold you down. Did y
ou feel that change as soon as I took away your freedom? It’s the same for me when I think about you putting your mouth on me. I don’t want you to expect vanilla oral play and I suddenly become extremely dominant, scaring you worse than I did before.”
He touched her lips lightly and allowed his voice to rumble with the aggression he felt. “I’ve fantasized about your luscious mouth for years. I want you more than I can ever say, in every way possible, but thrusting into your mouth with your full submission is my ultimate fantasy. But not until you’re absolutely ready and trust me without question. That’s a very intimate, vulnerable position, and if you don’t understand what I’m doing, and what you’re feeling, then it’ll be a nightmare and not pleasure, for both of us. You can’t give me what I want if you’re afraid.”
“I’m not afraid of touching you. I want to give you pleasure.”
“I know, darlin’, but there’s a huge difference between you sucking me off while I sit here passively, and what I really want to do.”
“What do you really want to do?”
He hesitated, searching her gaze. She was confused, but not afraid. If he admitted this fantasy, would it only scare her more? Wrapping his hands tightly on the arms of his chair, he growled out, “I don’t want you to give me pleasure; I want to take it. I want to fist my hands in your hair, push you to your knees on the floor, and thrust into your mouth, hard and deep until…”
He shuddered and closed his eyes, fighting the raging desire threatening to weaken his control. “If you’re not prepared, if you don’t want the same level of force, it could be very bad, darlin’. You may welcome a little force, like when I held you down just now, but I don’t want to ever force you into doing something you don’t want to do. I’d rather never live out that dream than scare you again.”
Silence stretched out, leaving him furious at himself and this vicious need. Why couldn’t he play safe, like Dick? Safe…and a fucking bore of a moron. He couldn’t help what he was, but he wanted to rage and pound the walls to rubble at the thought of losing her.
The Connaghers Series Boxed Set Page 15