MUSICAroLina

by Daniel William Gunning

So these are the two choices that lie in front of you this fateful day.

  To stay here with me and find true love or flee into blackness of night.

  I promise you my all, I promise that I’ll never leave, never go astray.

  And in the end, I ask you, isn’t true love worth the risk, worth the fight?

  Oh I tell you we are not cursed to live our lives forever heartsick.

  For it’s not the poets, preachers, or magicians with the largest role.

  Once you truly know who you are, you know who makes your heart full.

  So here it is, I sing to you of we mortals’ one and only true magic trick.

  I see the shape of your heart, know you to the core, felt the depths of your soul.

  And I’ve seen inside myself that within my chest there is a deep and dark hole.

  But for that gaping hole, that lingering fatal wound, there is hope in love’s arithmetic.

  For you have a hole in you, that is shaped like me, I know you’ve felt it take its toll.

  Our souls were meant to be joined, both chasms filled with joy, finally becoming whole.

  As her song came to its conclusion, the music slowly faded away into the air, as if blown away by the gentle breeze. John could see that many of the townspeople had come out to watch the grand spectacle unfolding on the main street. They peered out of the windows of their homes, or hung back in the shadows of the buildings, trying to be either coy or sneaky, but all clasped their hands tightly over their hearts, obviously visibly moved by the sweet melody. Every last person within reach of the song had tears running down their faces, matching Virginia’s. John was quite surprised to find that he was beginning to tear up as well. He couldn’t fully explain why he suddenly had this strange and foreign emotion and he managed to bravely fight the urge back, pushing it back down inside himself.

  John didn’t know what to say to her. It is fair to say that no one would know what to say in this overwhelmingly romantic, but rather peculiar moment, so quite insufficiently he said, “Well that was certainly sweet, thank you?”

  She smiled, quickly dried her eyes and replied, “So what do you think? Honestly?”

  “Honestly, I think that it’s terribly flattering and I know that, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, but maybe, just maybe what you’re saying has a grain of truth in it. I mean of all the songs I’ve heard in this town so far they have been goofy, or unintentionally terrifying, but yours is the first that felt to me like it had some kind of meaning behind it. I mean, after today I pretty much should be stuck in believing-that-just-about-anything-is-possible mode, but I still have a hard time believing that you can be in love with someone you just met, sorry.”

  “Really, you still doubt me, after all this? To think, even after I went to all the trouble of creating and performing such a beautiful song just for you and an equally stunning dance to go with it? I’m a triple threat; what’s not to love?” she asked as bravely as she could.

  “Look Virginia, under normal circumstances—which we aren’t even on the same continent as—that’d really be going way above and beyond, but around here, that kind of thing seems like a simple everyday event, doesn’t it?”

  “Don’t be cruel; I poured my soul out for you in that song. Believe me, that doesn’t happen every day, here or anywhere for that matter.”

  “I’m sorry, that came out wrong; I didn’t mean for that to sound harsh. Look, if you really do know everything that’s ever happened to me, then you know that I’m telling you the God’s honest truth when I say that, no matter how odd the circumstances of all this, whatever this is, that song was the sweetest thing anyone ever has said or done for me. But, you have to understand that I’m having a really hard time processing everything today. I can’t even begin to comprehend the enormous, weird, ball of strangitude that is today. I’m not sure I even know if any of this is really happening or if I got shot in the head somewhere along the line and am in the world’s weirdest coma somewhere.”

  “Isn’t there anything I can do to convince you? Although, I will happily point out that it does seem rather greedy to ask for any more than your own personal love song. I’m just saying.”

  “Well, fine. There is one thing you can do. If you really love me, love is all about honesty and trust, so don’t lie to me. Give me the truth.”

  “Fine, that seems fair. I’ll tell you anything; what do you want to know?”

  “Well, for starters, will they really kill us if we don’t join this town?”

  She paused, looking sorrowfully into his eyes, and then finally said, “Yes, they most certainly will and they’ll dance while they do it.”

  “Is my brother dead?”

  She looked at him and, in that instant, appeared to feel as much pain as he felt when she answered, “Yes.”

  “Did they kill my brother?” John asked sternly, fighting back his emotions.

  She paused; a tear ran down her cheek. Her voice wavered, but painfully she said, “Yes.”

  “Which one of the musical freaks killed him? The mayor, the sheriff, that creepy old lady?”

  “Why does it matter exactly who killed him, John?”

  “Because I have to know who to kill on my way out of this town. You should know that if you know me at all.”

  “You’ll never be able to kill them John; once or twice people have tried it. Let’s just say they didn’t die well.”

  “Well, maybe I’ll catch them on a good day, or a bad day. Look, I don’t know which it is; it’s not important anyway. What is important is who did it.”

  “Fine, I promised you the truth, but it’s not going to help you; it wasn’t really someone that killed him as it was something. To be absolutely precise, he was eaten by a monster.”

  “I’m sorry, it’s been a very long day and I must have heard you wrong. Did you just say that my brother was eaten by a monster?”

  “Yes, that’s right; you wanted the truth and that’s the complete, unadulterated, if not fantastically bizarre truth. He was eaten by a monster, John.”

  “So, just so I have all my facts completely straight here; this town not only features daily singing, dancing and a homicidal mayor, it also has monsters. And one of those monsters ate my brother?”

  “Yes.”

  “Like a late night, movie of the week, creature feature kind of thing, that kind of monster?”

  “Yes,” she replied again, seeming more saddened than irritated by his repeated questioning.

  “Oh well, now that figures. That explains everything then—monsters. Well, thank you very much for your time, but I think we’ll be going now.”

  “John, please don’t go.”

  “Oh, I think it’s best if I just went. In fact, we should probably go inside before all the monsters come out—oooooh,” John said in sarcastic frustration, shaking his hands in mock fear. He then turned and stomped off angrily back down the street. Kurt and Mac rushed to follow him.

  “You don’t really think Jack got eaten by monsters, do you?” Kurt asked as they caught up to John.

  “Oh good. You were listening to my extremely private conversation; how very nice.”

  “Oops, yeah. Sorry about that.”

  “Don’t worry; it doesn’t even make my Top One Hundred list of problems today. To be perfectly honest, sadly, I have no idea what to believe anymore, but it makes about as much sense as anything else in this crazy town,” John said, as they headed back toward the Bed and Breakfast.

  ***

  Virginia watched them as they walked down the street, leaving her sight. She looked miserable, but it didn’t last for long. She wiped the remaining tears from her face and her demeanor morphed from a look of sorrow to one of pure determination. She turned and walked bravely toward the city hall. She flung the mayor’s office door wide open, slamming it against the wall and rattling the windows. She stepped inside his office where she was immediately greeted rudely by the sheriff, who blocked her path to the mayor’s desk, brandishing his tr
usty shotgun.

  Sheriff Cane raised his free hand signaling for her to stop, with a cocky grin, as she approached him showing no fear, or even the faintest sign of slowing down. He said, “Just hold your horses now, princess, before you say something you...” but that was all he managed to get out, before she, not breaking stride for one second, kneed him as hard as she possibly could directly in the groin. The sheriff crumpled onto the floor. Virginia ignored his agony and hopped over his crumpled body as he rolled about on the plush carpeting muttering jumbled curses through the pain. She strode valiantly up to the mayor’s desk and banged her fists upon it violently.

  The mayor’s chair swiveled at the sudden interruption as he turned to meet her fiery visage. He looked over at the sheriff, who was still rolling on the floor, clutching his injured groin and calling on various hosts of demons to exact swift vengeance on her. “Oh, now my dear, sweet Virginia, why would you go and do a terrible thing like that? That was simply nuts,” the mayor said, then flashed a broad smile as if he expected her to laugh at his crude joke. Virginia, however, ignored his weak attempt at humor altogether.

  “You can’t have him!” she said, with insolence in her voice and anger flaring in her eyes. She no longer attempted the pretense of her American accent, but rather let the British shine through.

  “Well, my dear lady, to tell you true, he’s hardly my type,” the mayor shot back without flinching.

  “Oh, no we aren’t getting into some kind of witty verbal repartee here. You know precisely what I mean, Mister Mayor. You can have anyone you want in this town; I don’t really care. They don’t matter to me in the least, but you cannot have John.”

  “Well, since we are just dispensing with the niceties altogether today, then you should know by now, my dear girl, that this is my town and I can take whatever and whoever, whenever I please,” he said, menace beginning to crack through the surface of his charming act.

  “Not this time,” she replied as rebellious music swelled up, as if in direct support of her words.

  “Oh, you really want to do this? You really want to play this game with the big boys. girly?” the mayor asked, sneering as the pulsating beat of opposing music began to play. He rose from his throne, moved around his desk and he came to face the defiant Virginia, his eyes turning a shade of blood red. He only stopped when they stood but a few inches apart, glaring at one another as the melodies began to blend together. Virginia did not back down for one second. “Oh, well then! You better bring it then, my dear,” he said, chuckling.

  “Oh, it’s on, bitch!” she spat at him as she began their duet:

  You may own every single living soul in this town, but you can’t have him.

  Darling you think you can stop me? You know your chances are mighty slim.

  I’m not afraid of you, rotten beast; I have something you could never possess.

  And what is that precisely my dear; the ability to pick some chump and obsess?

  I have the power of true love with me now; you can’t merely destroy it on a whim.

  True, while I can’t destroy your love, I could always tear your lover limb from limb.

  Oh, you’re a monster, a vile demon sent straight from hell.

  And you’ve kept me here, a prisoner, in this gilded cell.

  But I’m breaking out of the cage, I’m leaving, I’m flying away.

  Yes I’m spreading my wings to the sun and to a brighter day.

  And I’ll leave you here, your dark heart just an empty shell.

  The spell you cast is broken, I’m free of you, I no longer obey.

  Well, my dear that’s truly hard to hear; I always thought you to be my friend.

  How could I ever be friends with a monster like you; don’t you comprehend?

  You should really choose your words wisely, my dear; don’t you know who I am?

  Yeah, you’re a silly singing demon, and on this stage you are a bit of a ham.

  Oh I’m the purest evil that may true, but question not my performance it’s divine.

  Sorry, but I’ll stick to my original statement; you’re the living definition of a swine.

  Oh, I’m a monster; a vile demon sent straight from hell.

  But this music is in my blood, in my heart it does dwell.

  So don’t insult these songs that I hold so close, so very dear.

  I would hate to lose my temper and fry your shapely rear.

  So don’t get cute my dear; you’re far from this ball’s belle.

  And show me the respect I deserve, for I am your god here.

  You’re not a god, it’s far from true; you’re but a hollow, sad, and shallow beast.

  You say that’s true, but you know full well all that faced me are now deceased.

  They never had the strength I do; love gives me the power to make my stand.

  That may be so, but if you step to me know that you’ll die painfully by my own hand.

  Just try it, foolish demon and you’ll find that you no longer have the power here.

  Oh, try it child, just try anything and you’ll find my threats were far from insincere.

  Oh, you’re a monster; a vile demon sent straight from hell.

  And I’m a handsome devil too, if I do say so, mademoiselle.

  This is far from a joke; your untimely end finally draws near.

  Oh, my, I’m frightened; it seems I’ve soiled my panties in fear.

  You won’t be joking and laughing when love breaks your spell.

  And you won’t laugh either when your love is but a bloody smear.

  As the song ended, they stood inches apart, staring defiantly at one another for a moment, and then Virginia turned to leave. The mayor called out after her as she started walking away from him, toward the exit, “Oh, one last thing my dear, out of pure, idle curiosity of course. You spent all these long, lonely years planning what to say to your true love if he ever wandered into our midst and that little display in the diner was the best you could think up? Now, witnessing something that purposefully, poorly formed gets me to wondering. It wouldn’t be that you were actually trying to scare him off all along with your crazy psychic act would it? Perhaps it was almost a warning of some kind? I know that can’t be it though, could it, because you know all too well what would happen to you if you ever saw fit to cross me. You’ve seen what’s left of those that had the audacity to even entertain the slightest thought of defying me!” She didn’t answer him; she simply walked out, wearing a satisfied, knowing grin as she did.

  Sheriff Cane, now mostly recovered from his rather unpleasant injury, asked, “She’s not gonna be a problem, is she?”

  “Oh, my dear ignorant sheriff, she has always been a problem.”

  “Well, if she is, I would be more than willing to volunteer to personally take care of it for you, ‘cuz after that low blow I’m itching for some righteous payback.”

  “Is itching the right word? Never mind; it’s not important. No, my old trusted minion, the gauntlet has been thrown down now; that means if she needs taking care of, I will take the greatest of pleasures in handling it myself.”

  “You sure boss? I mean I know ‘hell hath no fury like a woman scorned’ and all.”

  “Ah yes, there it is, that tired old adage. Did you know that everyone always gets that wrong? Trust a person who’s actually been there; hell simply has no fury like a woman,” the mayor replied, smiling slyly as he watched her go.

  CHAPTER 10

  GONNA BURN THIS MOTHER DOWN!

  The three men finally found themselves back at Miss Bay’s Bed and Breakfast. Though their entire journey, in reality, had only lasted a scant few minutes, it seemed like tortured hours had passed by with every progressive step. They were all still somber and silent in the overwhelmed stupor that now seemed to be a way of life for them. They opened the front door and went inside. Miss Bay was waiting there for them, at her usual post behind her desk. “Welcome back to you, dearies...” she began to sing, but, in no mood for even the polit
e appearance of putting up with her zany antics, John instantly cut her off.

  He pointed his finger directly at her, his eyes blazing, and said firmly, “Don’t, just don’t.” She looked startled and more than a little frightened by this sudden act of aggression and didn’t even try to continue with her song. So they left her there, cowering a little behind her desk as they ascended the staircase, with John still glaring down at her crossly the whole way up as if silently daring her to so much as hum.

  ***

  They all trudged slowly and silently down the hall toward John’s room. Once they finally found themselves safely inside, their wearying and disorienting day’s trek mercifully at an end, John sat down on the bed. He lowered his head and held it in his hands, desperately trying to keep his wildly varied emotions under control. Kurt stood a few steps away from his best friend, not knowing or remotely being able to grasp even the slightest inkling of an idea of what to say or do for him in this situation. Mac simply hovered back by the door, still swaying slightly from the ever-lingering effects of his ill-advised bender. Kurt knew he would eventually be forced to do something to break the devastatingly awkward silence. Finally, he marshaled all of his courage and managed to weakly offer, “Hey, maybe she was lying. You have to admit man-eating monsters are still pretty far-fetched, even in this town.”

  “Thanks for that, Kurt, but as far as I can tell, they haven’t lied to us about a single thing yet, which is quite impressive if you think about it, considering the conflagration of insane shenanigans that seem to be going on all around us, so why would they even bother to lie to us about this?”

  “I don’t know, but I’d say maybe because everyone here seems to be about eight billion various and quite possibly undiagnosable kinds of crazy?”

  “That’s true; they may all be kings and queens of crazy, but let’s look at the hard facts, shall we? We are in a town where everyone simply breaks into perfectly synchronized and choreographed song and dance at the veritable drop of a hat. That alone would be weird enough for me. I mean, what? Do they rehearse a different song and dance routine for every potential situation they could possibly conceive happening in advance? However, even that is still somewhat explainable as a goofy tourist stunt of some kind. On the other hand, everyone somehow also seems to have the magical psychic ability to know everything that we’ve ever done in our entire lives. Now, add to that the lovely gift of the town being guarded by a twelve-foot-tall shotgun-toting Neanderthal of a sheriff. Sprinkle in just a dash of the fact that I, amazingly, seem to have collected some sort of crazed singing stalker, oh, and just for fun, throw in just a pinch of the incredible fact that, apparently, monsters ate my brother! I’m as cynical as the next guy, but you put all that together and if that bizarre concoction is the truth, what on Earth would they even try to lie about!?”