by Unknown
"Now, tell me about the guy," she demanded out of nowhere.
I tried to play dumb. "What? What do you mean?" The goofy laugh I did smack in the middle of that was not very convincing.
"Charity, really?" She didn't need to say anything else.
"Okay, but don't judge me—and don't tell my mother!" I said.
"She giggled, "Deal."
"Okay," I said. "His name is Justin Collins."
"Wait! Isn't that the guy that rescued you—and found you the job?" Melissa asked.
"And found me the apartment," I added.
"Oh my God, this guy is like the ultimate hero," she said. "And you're dating him?"
"Not exactly, or, I'm not sure," I said back.
"Ah. I think I know what that means," she said. "Tell me, how good was he?"
I listened to her giggle. "He's off the chart," I said, giggling back.
"That good?" she bellowed.
"Mel, take the best you can imagine," I said.
"Okay?" I can hear the edge-of-her-seat interest in her voice.
"Now double it," I said.
"Really?" She sounded shocked.
I let her sit with that for a moment. My silence was her answer.
"So, how many times, or was it just the once?" she asked.
"No, it's been a few times. But I haven't seen him in a week," I answered.
"So," she started, "he's a jerk?"
"No," I said quickly. "He's actually pretty great, but according to a few people that know him, he's never been a relationship guy. He just doesn't know what the hell he's doing."
"Maybe you get to rescue him now?" Melissa said.
I hadn't thought of it that way.
"Now, if it was so good," she said, "give me details."
I giggled again. "I can't."
"Charity!" she exclaimed, demanding to know.
"I didn't say I won't, I said can't. I'm in a public place," I told her. "Believe me, if I could brag right now—I would."
"Oh, wow," she said. "I'm jealous and I don't even know what about yet."
We were laughing together, and I let my snort-laugh fly. Melissa had heard it for years. My mind was replaying what she had said about me saving Justin now. He had done so much for me already, more than I could repay. Quite possibly, he was the only reason I am still in this city, certainly the only reason I am doing so well. Maybe this was a way for me to do something, give back to him a little part of what he deserved.
If he comes around, I’m going to make it easy for him. And if it was possible for Justin to figure out how to settle down, I will try to be the one to show him.
Melissa began to catch me up on everyone back home, the rest of the girls we grew up with. It was comforting to hear, especially about her parents, who I was around almost as much as my own.
"I miss them so much," I told her.
"They miss you too. They ask about you every time I see them," she said.
We were avoiding someone. Nearly everyone we knew had been mentioned at some point while I was sucking down my second drink, but the obvious one to talk about was being saved for last. Steve Knowles, my ex-boyfriend.
Melissa was actually pretty close with Steve. She was there when we met, and through the years she was often stuck in the middle as our liaison. When he was devastated by the breakup, by my plans, it was Melissa that he turned to for help. In the past she had always been there, not so much for him, but for us, but this time she was my friend first. It broke her heart, but she knew what I wanted for my life.
"So—how is he?" I asked.
Melissa didn't even try to pretend not to who I meant. "I wish I could tell you for sure," she said. "He's shut everyone off, even his own family. He won't answer calls, and his mother is a wreck."
"Damn! I really didn't want him hurt like that, Melissa," I said.
"I know it," she said. "But it is what it is. He's gotta get past it. That first couple of weeks were horrible, I had no idea what to do for him, but I think it was better than what we have now. The only time he would stop crying, was when he was drunk and fighting. He came to me one time, begging me to call you home, and when I wouldn't, he literally fell on the floor. I couldn't even understand the words coming out of his mouth. It took me calling over two of his buddies to get him up. Now we have no clue what he's thinking or doing. The same two guys that helped me then have been calling me to help find him."
"Melissa, you don't think he'll hurt himself, do you?" I asked.
She sighed deeply, sorrowfully. "I can't say if he will or won't, but I can tell you it has already crossed my mind. When no one had heard from him for a few days, we went to his apartment with a key, expecting the worst. The place was a mess, but he wasn't there, but the point is, we all expected he would be, and it wouldn't be a good thing. His mother was too afraid to come with us."
Tears begin to fall freely from my eyes. I didn't care where I was, that people could see me. I had never meant to cause that kind of pain to Steve. I just wasn't in love with him, and staying with him wasn't fair to either of us. We both deserve better than that. Trisha saw that I was crying and motioned to see if I was okay. I nodded and waved my hand that I was fine, wiping away the tears.
Melissa heard my wet sniff, and knew I was crying. "I'm so sorry, Charity. I didn't want to upset you, but I didn't want to lie to you."
"No, absolutely not," I said. "You did it right. I'd rather be upset now, than find out later when everything is much worse. I'm just worried about him. I didn't expect this."
"Yeah," she replied softly.
"No one has seen him, or has a clue? What about at Ivy Tavern, anyone there see him?" I asked. The Ivy Tavern was Steve's favorite place; someone there had to have seen him. I don't think he's gone a full week without stopping in at least twice since he was twenty-one.
"Haven't seen him," she said. "I've been there a bunch of times, hoping he's come in since my last check-in, but he hasn't. He's really just gone, but I'm trying to hope it's a good sign."
"How so?" I asked, the tears now mostly gone.
"Maybe he's starting over," she said. "I keep hoping he decided to take off, clear his mind by taking a vacation. I know that's not exactly like him, but that would be the point of it, don't you think, to just recreate his life? I don't think that's so farfetched, it's exactly what you did. On his own I don't think he would have thought of that, but I can totally imagine him deciding to do the same thing that you did."
"I could see that," I agreed. It was a little bit of a reach, but it was so much better to imagine than Steve's body lying in a dirty hotel room next to an empty bottle of pills or in the woods next to a shotgun and some empty casings.
I was pretty well composed by the time my conversation with Melissa was over, but Trisha came to check on me anyway. It didn't take long to get her caught up about Steve. I asked for my bill, and she went to get it.
Trisha brought my check with another Red Bull and vodka. "That one's on me," she said. "I wanna make sure you're in a good place before I let you leave."
Somewhere in the middle of my phone call, the bar had gotten busy and all the tables were full. Trisha still found the time to keep stopping by, and even managed to get me laughing again. She was a good friend. I paid the bill while I finished that last drink, and left feeling much better.
MY APARTMENT WELCOMED ME the best it could. It was cool and inviting, but it couldn't ask me how I was, didn't make me laugh. I popped on the TV, but that really wasn't what I needed either.
I need Justin!
I can't count on that right now. He was going to have to come around on his own, and tonight wasn't going to be the night. I sighed in boredom, flicking channels like a pro, listening to the hum of my refrigerator in between commercials.
My bag caught my eye as it sat by the door where I'd dropped it when I came in. Inside, my laptop was patiently waiting, hoping to catch my attention. It had me now. The second I thought of it, it reminded me that JP might be onlin
e. Justin might not be around, but JP was more than willing to take my mind away from the night I've had.
I got comfortable first, pulling my dress off, along with the damn bra that had been stabbing my right boob all day. The relief washed over me right away. I grabbed my laptop and sat on the couch while it came out of hibernation. I really wanted him to be online.
I keyed in my password full of anticipation and watched my profile load. A moment later, when my desktop was available, I launched the chat program and watched it start up.
Once it was running, the list of names began to display, and when JP showed up as online and available, my pulse sped at the same pace as my nervous stomach flipping.
"Hey," I typed. "U waiting 4 me?"
There was no reply, and I waited. The wide smile on my face began to shrink. I rested my hands down in disappointment. There were just no distractions from life tonight.
Then my laptop chimed.
"Yes I was," he replied. "I was actually about 2 give up for the night, didn't look like u were coming on. I just made myself a drink and came back 2 find ur window open."
I laughed and sent, "LOL. That sounded like u were stalking outside my apartment."
"U wish. Hell, I wish. Lol," he sent. "Would u let me climb in your window?"
"Absolutely. Just don't mind that I'm only wearing my thong," I replied.
"Haha, if only that were true," he said.
"Joke's on u," I said. "It is true."
He paused.
"Can u get to the office like that? I really want to see that on the security cam," he said. "I promise I won't save the video ;)"
"Can't u just come over?" I teased.
"If I was in NY, I would already be there tasting every inch of u," he typed.
"OMG, I really would enjoy that right now. I haven't even seen ur lips, but I want them on me," I replied. "And ur fingers and tongue."
I'm being a little bolder tonight than usual, desperate to be distracted. Until now, we had barely started sexting, usually after some much more innocent teasing. I don't feel like playing around tonight.
"I'd slide my tongue along ur thighs, working my way up between ur legs until my tongue is in u, tasting ur musky juices, opening u for my fingers," he sent.
Oh my God! That was hot, and just what I wanted!
My pulse is really racing now. "I think I need to take my thong off 4 our conversation this time. I don't think I can just chat," I said.
"Please do," he sent. "I'd like to know ur getting turned on, if ur touching urself."
"I don't want 2 b the only 1, I'd like 2 know ur hand is wrapped around ur hard cock as u imagine it in my mouth, sucking on it and licking its tip," I added.
"Give me a second to get undressed," he replied.
Holy Christ! This is really going to happen.
I pulled my thong off quickly while I waited for him, and positioned myself so that I could type while masturbating. My fingers were already between my legs and I sent, "Im already starting, just the thought of u holding ur cock is 2 much. I want 2 lick the top of it while u jerk on it."
"Let's take care of u first," he said when he returned to his keyboard. "That's what I'd do if I was there, make sure that u cum before me at least once with my tongue on ur clit. I want to taste u, have ur wet lips sliding under mine, suck them into my mouth, ram my tongue inside u. I want to feel ur thighs squeezing on my face, quivering from a building orgasm. My fingers sliding in and out of ur wetness in long, slow strokes that match the pace of my tongue pressing on ur swollen clit. I'd love 2 hear u moaning n crying out while I decide when to let u explode."
"God I want that. Use ur tongue to make me scream. Make my juices n cum drip down ur fingers b4 I wet ur cock by sucking on it and rubbing ur balls, jerking u into my hot mouth, pulling it out to tease u, slapping it on my lips, flicking my tongue at its slit. All to keep u hard n wet so that u can fill my pussy with it, fuck me like an animal." I was so turned on, working myself toward a quick orgasm. It was already starting with the twinging pulses. My problems had all slipped away, and there was just this rising orgasm.
"I will stand u up n bend u over, thrusting my cock into u while squeezing ur ass, pulling ur hips into me to fuck u harder n harder, feel my stiffness pulling out of u to its tip n ram back into u, filling u," he typed.
"Tell me what ur doing right now," I demanded, knowing I am close. "I want to know ur hand is squeezing ur cock and jerking it while you think of me. I want to know when ur stroking is starting to make u cum and what it feels like for u."
There is something so hot having him touching himself, giving himself an orgasm while picturing me.
"I can already feel it starting," he sent, "I'm picturing how good u feel inside, how wet and hot, and I have my right hand jerking myself off. I'm rock hard, completely swollen like I might split open in desire. And I'm also picturing what u look like right now, ur fingers rubbing ur pussy, ur chest heaving up and down."
"Squeeze ur cock for me, squeeze it and tell me how it feels," I typed.
His responses were getting slower and slower, and so were mine. It was hard to type one handed, especially when we were both getting ready to cum.
"It's warm n hard, n squeezing it while thinking about u makes me tingle n twitch deep inside, my muscles contracting to explode."
"Now squeeze it and pull on it. Rub ur thumb on its head and pull on it over and over. Jerk it for me," I sent. "My fingers r wet from my soaking pussy, n they're slipping around my hard clit as I picture u jerking and cumming for me. My hips are thrusting n the thought of ur cum dripping over ur own knuckles is 2 much. I put my fingers in me to wet them some more 1 last time. I'm going to cum thinking about u jerking off. Do u like that? Can u picture me squirming and cumming, knowing it’s because of u."
"Yes, I like that," he typed after a moment. "If ur ready I'm going 2 cum. I'm just waiting for u."
I was ready; I was seconds away from cumming. "Yes, cum for me now. I'm cumming and I want to know u r 2. I'm cumming right now."
"I'm cumming," was all he typed, all he probably had time for.
I stared at the words, picturing cum pouring over his fingers and dripping off, and my orgasm exploded. My hips thrust to each stroke of my fingers, riding the climactic waves.
It was hot and wonderful, not as great as if it had actually been his tongue or cock that did it, but it was close. It was certainly needed.
"OMG!" I typed to him when I had gained control. "That was so hot."
He didn't answer yet, and I expected that as he had more clean up than I did before he could type.
"I want the real thing soon," I sent.
He finally responded. "Yes, very soon. U r incredible, but I want to feel u. I need 2 taste ur cum. I luv getting u off."
"So do I," I sent. "That's all I had to picture, you cumming on yourself, full of desire 2 ram ur cock in me. I really need to feel ur hardness pushing its way between my wet lips, into my pussy. I want to feel myself clamping and squeezing down around u as I climax."
"Well, u will b. I have 2 have u now," he typed. "There's no stopping me."
I started to type to ask him what he meant by that, but he signed off. I stared at the laptop, stunned at the way that ended, and then laughed. It was very typical JP, and he knew it.
I noticed the light on the utility area of the laptop again, a dot within a circle. Sometimes it was on, sometimes off. Right now it was on, shining up at me as if to tell me it had been watching, but as I watched, it went out.
WE WERE WALKING BACK from lunch when I spotted the hoodie bouncing along a block or so behind us. I'd had a strange sensation, something tugging at my subconscious and whispering for me to turn around. Hard as it was, I ignored it at first, unwilling to become a paranoid freak always looking over her shoulder. Not knowing suddenly seemed worse. I could take a quick glance and prove to myself there was nothing. Actually finding a hoodie behind me was unnerving, a hard blow to my confidence.
My h
ead snapped forward like a startled deer, hoping no one, not the guy in the hoodie, or the girls, saw me do it. I can feel the blood drain from my face with no way to stop it from happening. Lynda said something that made the other girls laugh. I hadn't heard it, but faked like I did to remain unnoticed.
I hadn't fooled everyone.
Clarice was looking at me through a concerned scowl when I glanced at them. She wasn't even hiding it. I see her turn around and check behind us, even though she has no idea what to look for, which meant she had seen me turn around before, seen my terrified expression. She was good enough not to tip the others off, and when her eyes fell on mine again, she used them to ask me if I was okay.
I didn't have an answer for her, not yet. I turned back around, nervously, but the hoodie wasn't there. Out of the corner of my eye I see Clarice looking again as well, hoping to see whatever I had, but apparently I was just nuts. I locked eyes with her again and smiled sheepishly, letting her know all was fine, sort of.
The concern and the curiosity were killing her, but it wasn't the time to get her answers. She turned herself back to the conversation with the other girls, whipping around in her Anne Klein suit. It has a collarless ruffle-front jacket that I didn't feel I could pull off myself, not without her serious look. It's finished with a sheath dress that clung to her just enough. She glanced my way a few times to check on me quickly. I was going to have to explain things back at the office, but once again I am doubting myself.
Had the hoodie even been there, or was I way more affected by the attack than I had a clue about? My eyes are sure the hood was there, but I don't know any more if I can trust them.
It was hot again today. The tall city buildings blocked any breeze, letting the sun beat on us relentlessly. Surely, if the man in the hoodie had really been there he would stand out like a sore thumb with a hood over his head. He would be dropping to his knees from the heat. It made more sense that he was my imagination, the way he appeared and vanished with perfect timing, unseen apparently by anyone other than myself.
"Charity, I have almost those same Jimmy Choos T-strap wedges, but not in the suede. I love those," Jennifer said, flattering me.