by Melissa Beck
Swigging the last of his beer, he tossed his keys to Wally. “If I don't return, go on home without me. I'll take a taxi back to town.” He didn't bother to look Sam's way. He knew “irresponsible” would be written all over his brother's face.
Wally didn't exactly give him a thumbs up, either, and as he started to walk away, he heard Sam's smug, “That's the Daniel I know."
While they weaved their way through the crowd, Daniel's new friend clung to his arm as if she were afraid he'd suddenly try to slip away. Her long nails dug like claws. Her smile seemed to suck him into this swirling vortex that made his head throb.
He frowned. But when she tipped her head back to look up at him, he recovered with a quick grin.
They cleared the doorway and stepped out into the cool night air. “Where's your car, sweetheart?"
"I love it when you call me that!” she purred, squeezing up against him and flashing the creamy curves of her breasts.
He looked down into her chardonnay-sleepy eyes. “The car?"
She pointed at a white four-door Jag in the parking lot across the street.
His face must have registered surprise, because she gurgled with laughter. “Got it in the divorce. Sorry bastard was cheating on me. Lucky for me, I had proof."
Christ. Didn't anybody stay together anymore?
They walked to the car, but she stopped when he started to open the front passenger door. Flinging her arms around his neck, she pulled him close and pressed her hip into his groin. “Let's just get in the back seat, hottie."
He held her loosely with his arms around her waist and considered the offer. She was a pretty little tease, in a thin dress that left just enough to the imagination to be intriguing. And best of all, she seemed to be a good-time girl. She knew the bartender, and hung with a group of partiers. Yes, she was exactly the type of woman he was used to being around.
And there were no photographers here. Part of him wished there were, and Gretchen would see a picture of this and hate him. The other part of him kept an eye peeled for Eddie Artis and prepared to duck and run for cover out of guilt.
"What's wrong?” She gazed up into his face. Her lips looked full and kissable. “Don't you like me?"
"Sure.” He dropped his hands away. “Maybe we should go back to the club."
"What'd I say?” She pressed her cheek against his chest.
He reached up, pried her hands off his nape, and took a step back. “You've had a lot to drink. Give me your keys and I'll drive you home."
Her smile spreading, she pushed the set of keys deep down in her dress's halter top.
Gritting his teeth, he ventured in just enough to pluck them out with his middle finger and forefinger.
"Aww, no fun!” she pouted.
With his palm on her back, he turned her around and guided her into the passenger seat of the Jag before sliding in behind the steering wheel. She gave him her address, and soon they were climbing the city's surrounding hills to the old, treed overlook known as Mt. Adams. He knew the area, with its tall, narrow apartments and retail establishments built in a time when most people lived close to town. He'd often partied in its string of bars on business trips.
The blonde rested her head lightly against his shoulder, but it felt like a lead weight.
He hadn't even asked her name.
She tilted her head back, gave him another tempting smile, and at a stop sign, he relented and kissed her. She pressed herself to him, and her hand found his crotch, where she massaged him into awareness. But her hand wasn't Gretchen's hand. Her mouth wasn't Gretchen's sweet warmth.
Behind them, a car honked.
He pulled his mouth from hers, lifted her hand and set it on his leg. “Wait."
"More to come, then.” She chuckled wickedly as he drove on.
When he stopped the car in front of her loft apartment building, he exited and helped her step up onto the curb. She leaned against him to the foyer entrance and showed him which key unlocked the door. He opened it for her, and she went inside. Then she spun on a spiked heel and flashed him a smile. “Well? Come on."
He stood there, thinking she was too thin, too rich and too young. “It was nice meeting you. I should go now."
"What? You can't go. This doesn't happen to me. I never get refused."
He turned back to the doorway.
"Hey! Don't go away!” Her words, shrilled by alcohol, lifted in the air. “I want you to stay."
Pivoting, he saw the guy at the security desk staring, brow raised.
Daniel reached out and gently grasped the girl's forearms. “I appreciate the offer, beautiful. But I'm tired. Another time, maybe."
"You were ready in the car,” she whispered in his ear. She threw her arms around his neck. “I can wake you up."
He stared into her cat-shaped eyes. They were attractive. Gretchen's were wicked-sexy. He clenched his jaw. “Do you want me to see you to your room?"
She nodded, and swayed to the right. “Elevator's this way."
He guided her there with a hand against the bare skin of her back. Yeah, it was definitely a sexy dress.
When the elevator stopped on her floor, he stepped out with her. He still had her keys. He stuck them in her door, held it open for her.
She started in, then whirled and grabbed fistfuls of his shirt, and pressed her mouth against his.
He would do this. He could do this.
He pressed her lips with his, and she eagerly opened her mouth. He plunged his tongue inside, stirring her up, starting him up. Yeah. He could do it. Lose himself. Exorcise Gretchen from his blood.
His pickup date moaned around the kiss, and tugged on him, pulling him into her room.
He stepped back from her.
When she opened her eyes, her mouth tightened. “What is it with you? Don't you like women?"
"Yeah, I do.” He swallowed, and raked a hand through his hair. “I—I don't know what's wrong."
"Well, when you figure it out, you know where I live.” She shoved him backward and slammed the door.
Cursing, Daniel stalked into the elevator.
He hit the “Lobby” button with his fist, and when the door opened, entered and slammed his shoulder up against the side of the cage. Caged. That was it. He was caged in Marydale, trapped in Gretchen's domain.
He'd escaped tonight and it'd done no good. What was happening to him?
Once he was out of the building, he walked for a while, trying to clear his head. Then he flagged a cab and returned to the bar where he'd left Sam and Wally. On his way to them, he stopped by the table of girls the blonde had been partying with before joining their group. They seemed surprised to see him back, and when he told her friends that he'd just seen her safely home, one of them whispered a suggestive offer that involved the restroom. He politely declined.
He went to find Wally and located him in the adjoining room, playing himself in a game of pool.
Wally looked up as he approached. “Man, you scored faster than I could blink."
"I saw her home. That's all."
"Sure. Uh huh.” Wally smirked. “All I can say is, I'm glad I knew you. When Gretchen hears about it—"
"There's nothing to tell. Nothing happened."
Wally tilted his head and studied him. “You want me to believe you took the hottest woman in here back to her place and just tucked her in for the night with a kiss on her forehead?"
Daniel ignored him, and rubbed his palm over his weary eyes. “Where's Sam?"
Wally pointed his cue stick toward the corner of the room.
He found Sam sitting alone at a table, his gaze cast upward. He had a beer bottle in front of him. But knowing Sam, it was either the same one from earlier, or his second and therefore his last.
He glanced back over his shoulder to see what he was so wrapped up in, and noticed a basketball game on a wall-mounted TV.
"Come on, party animal,” he said, walking up to the table. “Time to call it a night."
"I was abo
ut to give up on you,” Sam groused, but rose and followed him.
When they reached Wally, Daniel said, “Let's go home."
Let's go home. An odd sense of security dropped over him. For the first time that night, he was eager for something—eager to get out of the city and away from the club, the noise and the dating foreplay.
After they got onto the interstate, Wally glanced at Daniel, who was driving again. “I'd have paid you to teach me the ropes with women before I realized Crystal was the one for me. If only you'd come to town sooner. Now I've seen you in action, man, it's powerful!"
"Cut it out, Wally."
They listened to Sam snoring in the back seat. Poor Sam. He wasn't used to nights out. A beer or two had done him in.
"You aren't fooling me,” Wally suddenly boomed, causing an abrupt stall in Sam's rhythmic breathing. “This night is proof you didn't drop that big account just to come visit your ‘friend’ Gretchen, like you told me."
"Why are you so interested in Gretchen and me?” Daniel demanded. Again the weird, threatening tone. He couldn't seem to keep it out of his voice tonight.
Wally was silent for a few seconds. Then he chuckled. “You've got it bad, pal."
* * * *
Gretchen woke Amy and dressed her for school. The minute she had her fuchsia T-shirt on with her jeans and new pink clogs, she wanted to go next door and see if Daniel was up. But Gretchen told her not to, so she pouted as they walked down the driveway to the school bus stop.
They saw him standing at his SUV. Gretchen's breath caught in her throat as if it were a frigid January day instead of the unseasonably warm October one they were enjoying. Daniel looked a little rough this morning. He hadn't shaved, and lines of weariness showed about his eyes. His clothes were slightly rumpled. All those things just made him look sexier. He'd been to the diner, because he held one of their Styrofoam coffee cups in one hand, and her Tribune in the other. When he saw them walking up, he smiled and waved.
Amy ran to him. “Daniel!"
"Amy!” he yelled back, grinning. “What's up?” He caught Gretchen's eye. “My brother's in town. A personal escort back to Chicago to cinch that big deal I told you about. It's the final hour for negotiations."
Gretchen's chest felt like the house had just fallen on it. How, how could she have let him crush her like this so quickly? He hadn't. She'd done it to herself. From the minute he'd shown up, he'd planned on leaving again. She was the one who'd naïvely hoped he'd stay.
"But you just moved in.” Amy's mouth turned down, and her eyes took on an ominous shine.
Gretchen bent to her and brushed a few curls out of her eyes. “I told you Daniel wasn't going to stay long. Remember?"
"I want Daniel to stay here now."
"People will come and go in our lives, sweetie.” Gretchen sent Daniel a look of frustration. “It can't always be the way we want."
"Hey, Amy,” he said quickly, “did you know I promised I'd stay until after the festival?"
She shook her head.
"When I'm there, I'll need some help passing out fliers, and I'm willing to pay whoever volunteers.” He ducked his chin, in that boyish way that always gave Gretchen gooseflesh. “Do you think you're big enough to do it?"
She stretched up on her toes, and Gretchen bit her lip to keep from smiling. “I'm almost five!"
"Hm,” Daniel said, frowning. Then he broke into a smile. “Okay, then. You're hired. High-five on it?” He raised his hand.
With a vivacious grin, she threw her hand back and whacked him one hard.
He laughed low. “That's some swing you've got on you. Maybe you'll play softball when you grow up."
Off in the distance a motor grew louder. Gretchen turned to check the road. “Here comes the bus."
Daniel reached down and lifted Amy up in his arms. She laughed, and clung to his shoulders as he strode toward the road. Gretchen followed, a lump in her throat at the sight of them, and at the thought of their final parting.
When the bus pulled up, Daniel said, “I'll just toss you on there. Ready?"
The bus doors swung open.
With devilment in his eyes, Daniel playfully swung Amy out toward the steps, and she giggled and squealed with delight.
Chuckling, he pulled her back to him and held her.
While the bus driver and Gretchen looked on, smiling, Amy took Daniel's face between her hands and kissed his nose.
He stood there, holding her tightly and staring at her pink cheeks and bright eyes.
"Put me down!"
He set her gently on her feet, and she flounced away and climbed into the bus.
The doors closed and off they went.
Daniel watched them go down the road. After a moment, he turned around, and the look on his face told Gretchen everything.
Daniel Nicholson was a man in love.
It was what she'd hoped for, dreamed about, and wished for on the candles of each of her daughter's five birthdays and her own past five birthdays.
For Amy to have a father.
And now it had come true. Not only did she have a father, she had her real father's love.
Hugging her sides, she turned away from Daniel. She knew she should be happy. But he'd reminded her that he wasn't staying. Whether he loved Amy or not, how could he really be part of their lives once the festival ended? She put her hand over her breastbone, where she felt the pain, and pressed.
"Gretchen."
She turned.
His eyes, his mouth, showed lines of stress at their edges again. “What's wrong?"
She shook her head.
He didn't come to her, the way he usually did. He was a touchy-feely guy, and she loved that about him. Now he kept his distance. Since they'd made love, he'd stayed away, making her keenly aware that she'd been the pursuer and he'd only acted on instinct. He was making sure it didn't happen again.
"It's just that Amy's so smitten with you. She likes you and you're leaving after this weekend. It'll hurt, seeing her sad."
"I know.” He walked to her, and stood there a moment, looking down at the ground. Then he reached out and, after hesitating a few seconds, took her cold fingers into the comfort of his warm grip. Looking into her eyes, he said, “I thought we understood this was how things would go."
She nodded. “But I don't have to like it."
Lifting his other hand, he brushed a stray strand of hair back from her eyes. “I don't like it, either. As far as Amy's concerned, I'm jealous of you."
"Me? Why?"
"You've gotten to be here for the whole home movie."
"Hey, I have some videos.” She leaned in to him, and inhaled his scent. Wishing she could memorize it. “We can watch them. And we haven't even gotten into her four baby albums.” She smiled. “If you have time before you have to go—” Again the weight threatening to suffocate her, flattening her smile. “Maybe I could put together a set of photos for you."
"I don't want them. When I want to see Amy, I want to see Amy."
No, Daniel wouldn't want one-dimensional statements of what Amy was like. He wanted to feel her, to hear her, to see her.
She knew the feeling. She wanted him now, the real thing, instead of black-and-white pixel images from the newspaper.
He cupped her neck with his palm, and bent his head and pressed a kiss to her lips. “Ah, Gretchen,” he murmured, “You're so good to Amy. You've been good for me, too.” He kissed her again.
She didn't mind that this gentler mood had come out of the blue. Savoring his kisses, she whispered back, “Then stay. Stay with us. Tell her at the festival that you're her father and you're not leaving."
He growled low in his throat as he trailed his mouth to her neck, and pressed a kiss below her ear, on her collarbone. “What would you give me to stay?” he said playfully.
"Anything.” She sighed. “Everything."
"But for how long?” He lifted his face away from hers, out from the veil of her hair, to search her gaze. “Forever?"
>
Her nipples throbbed. Her lower region vibrated. “Yes, forever,” she breathed.
His gaze dulled. He stopped caressing her arms, and slowly, she came back to reality and saw the dark shadow in his eyes.
"What? What did I say?"
"You said ‘forever.’”
"Oh.” She went cold inside, seeing the dead look on his face. “I'm sorry. It just came out."
He dropped his hands from her arms, and stared across the road. “I knew yesterday was a bad idea."
"Don't say that. Please."
He looked back at her. “You're right. It happened. We got together before, so it's not surprising it happened again."
"You make it sound so, typical,” she said, with a humorless smile.
"You know I don't believe in attachments."
"I know. It just ‘happens’ with other women, too."
His jaw tightened.
She wanted to take the words back. But she'd dwelled on these thoughts half the night, tossing and turning as she pictured him with other women, kissing them and touching them the way he had her. She'd driven herself nearly insane with those scenes in her mind. And it hurt. Oh, how it hurt.
"Gretchen. We had a rule. The rule was ‘no strings.’ You said you didn't have a problem with it.” He heaved out a harsh breath. “I thought, in light of your past, you were cool with it."
"I thought so, too.” She swallowed, and tried to breathe over the pressure in her chest. “I was wrong."
"Well, I'm not. I want no repeats of my past."
Somehow, she found some remaining dignity and lifted her chin. “Then why did you ask me about forever? You're the one who wanted me to say it. Why?"
He shifted, hands on his hips, looking at the ground.
"Daniel?"
His head came up, and his gaze met hers. “I have a ticket home for Sunday, after the festival. Until then, I'd like to see you and Amy.” His expression was hooded. “But let's keep things, light."
Her heart sank. So there it was, a definite end date for them.
She'd known it would come, yet she'd pushed for something that frightened her so much, for so long. But apparently a lasting relationship no longer scared her as much as the thought of his leaving.