by Rachel Wells
‘Of course they didn’t. Humans can be so selfish. Hold on, does this mean you’re leaving me, Edgar Road, us?’ My eyes were so wide I thought they might ping off my face. Salmon had been right.
‘I don’t know when exactly, but it sounds like it.’ Snowball looked sad and I started to panic. She couldn’t go, not when we were so in love. Not when we’d had such a wonderful holiday together. Though I knew full well that although human life worked very differently to cat life, there was no way they could be so cruel to us. It had to be a mistake. It just had to be.
Snowball and I moped around for the rest of the day.
‘I don’t want to go home,’ she said. She was angry and confused, as was I. I did try to be positive, but there’s only so much of that you can do in such a dire situation, especially when you have the post-holiday blues to boot. I led Snowball into my house and we curled up in my basket in the living room, both of us upset and worried and trying to take some comfort where we could. We must have fallen asleep because when we woke up, Claire, Jonathan, Summer, Tim and Karen were all staring at us.
‘It’s as if they know they’re going to be separated,’ Claire said.
‘Alfie is a very perceptive cat,’ Jonathan added.
‘But how can they know? They’re cats,’ Tim said.
‘Miaow,’ I objected.
‘See,’ Jonathan said. ‘Alfie knows.’
Snowball glared at her owners as, now fully awake, we sat side by side.
‘Maybe …’ Karen sounded uncertain. ‘Maybe you should try to explain it to them, properly. You know, man to cat?’
‘Really?’ Tim asked.‘You want me to talk to the cats and tell them?’
‘I think it’s a good idea,’ Claire concurred.
‘Yes, go on, Tim.’ I wasn’t sure if Jonathan was goading Tim because he found it amusing, but he was smirking a bit. I gave him one of my looks and thankfully he had the grace to look ashamed. After all, this was clearly no joking matter.
Tim cleared his throat. Snowball and I looked at him expectantly.
‘We love living here, on this street, and we’ve made some great friends.’ Tim looked really uncomfortable. ‘But just as moving here was a big decision for our family, and far from ideal at the time, actually, we have had to make another difficult decision. You see, Snowball and Alfie, I’ve been offered a dream job, a really amazing opportunity. It means we can buy our own home again, so I can give my family the security they need and deserve.’ He was a bit pink. I looked at Snowball, who looked at me. I felt a sense of disbelief. Although I had heard they were moving already, having this confirmation from Tim wasn’t making it any easier. I had been holding onto the hope that the rumours weren’t true.
‘As much as we hate to leave here,’ Tim continued,‘having spoken to the family, we feel we have to take this opportunity. We’ll be leaving in a few weeks. It’s all happened very quickly actually.’ He looked at us expectantly but we just stared back at him. ‘And I never wanted to part you two,’ he added.
‘Oh, Alfie, it’ll be all right,’ Claire said, scooping me up in her arms. But I knew it wouldn’t. As I looked at Snowball sitting in my cat basket, her manner changed from sad to angry, I knew it would never be all right again. I felt a sense of rage building inside me. How could they do this to us?
I thought about running away. Maybe Snowball and I could run back to the country, to where we’d been so happy, but I knew we wouldn’t. I couldn’t do the homeless thing again, no matter how much I loved her, and I knew that even though I was angry with our families right now, we both loved them very much. It was an impossible, impossible situation.
All I could hear as the humans began trying to reassure us was the sound of my heart breaking.
Chapter Six
It was the day before they were due to leave. The day before my true love was to be ripped away from me. I had been beside myself since Tim’s chat a few weeks ago. Snowball and I had snatched as much time together as we could but something had changed: it was awkward between us, because we knew that it was coming to an end. When we spent time together, it hurt badly. We both felt so sad that our time together was almost over. Yet again, I was losing someone that I loved; how much could my cat heart take?
Claire looked glum as she picked me up and gave me a kiss on the top of my head. Jonathan looked sombre. I had heard them talking, and although they were sad for Snowball and me, I knew they’d also miss the good friends they had made in Edgar Road. I didn’t have the energy to feel sorry for them; I didn’t even have the energy to miaow. I just wanted to curl up in my bed and cry silently.
Saying goodbye is one of life’s biggest cruelties and I had spent a lot of time in my short life saying it. It never got any easier, and this looked set to be the worst one yet.
Claire carried me next door to say a final goodbye to the Snells and Snowball. Tim answered the door, and everyone hugged awkwardly as we walked into the house. It was almost all packed up and the sight of the boxes made me want to wail. Claire gently put me down.
‘Snowball’s in the garden, she’s very unhappy,’ Karen said as she led the way.
I went into the garden and sat next to Snowball. The humans stood on the other side of the patio door but I could feel their eyes on us. For a few minutes neither of us spoke.
‘So this is it then,’ Snowball said. She raised her whiskers but I could see the despondency in the gesture.
‘I just don’t know what to say,’ I replied.‘I wish I could say that we could do something to stop this, but for a cat who is used to solving problems, I have nothing here.’ I felt the pain of her impending departure in every fibre of my fur.
‘Remember how awful I was to you when I first met you,’ she said.
‘Yes, you weren’t very nice. Even after I rescued you, when you accidentally got yourself lost all those years ago. But I never gave up.’
‘And you taught me so much. I don’t want to go, Alfie. I don’t want to leave you but at least I can say I learnt a lot from you.’
‘I can’t even begin to tell you how much I’m going to miss you,’ I told her. She rested her head on mine. I almost felt as if I would stop breathing.
‘Alfie, don’t come and see me tomorrow. I don’t know if I could bear it,’ she said. I could feel her pain as a mirror to my own.
‘I’m not sure I could either. But remember I will always love you and you are in my heart forever,’ I said.
‘And mine.’ Her voice broke and we stayed like that for as long as we could bear it, before we had to tear ourselves away.
Cats might not produce tears, but believe me, we were both weeping. And when I slowly made my way back inside, I saw that Jonathan, Claire, Karen and Tim all had tears in their eyes.
Our ‘purrfect’ love had touched everyone. I just wished it didn’t hurt so much.
I sat in my front garden staring at a big removal van. I normally loved the sight of removal vans, as they heralded the arrival of a new family, an area of fascination for a doorstep cat like me, but today as I smoothed down my grey fur, I hated that van. It was taking the Snells’ furniture away, followed by the family and my beloved Snowball. The nightmare we had first heard about on holiday was actually coming true.
I didn’t know how to cope with the despair I was feeling as I stared at the removal van. I wanted to tear myself away and run inside, but I couldn’t stop watching. I was both horrified and mesmerised.
I heard a noise as my best cat friend, Tiger, squeezed under my gate. Although Tiger could be feisty and she hadn’t exactly been Snowball’s biggest fan when they first met, she had thawed towards her and the two cat women in my life had formed a rapport, almost becoming friends.
‘Oh dear,’ she said, looking at me. Tiger wasn’t known for sugar-coating anything.
‘Look, they’re filling the van, and by the end of today they’ll all be gone,’ I said, wanting to yowl with pain.
‘I know and I am sorry, Alfie, it’s really tou
gh. Oh boy, I don’t know what to say. Look, I know you and Snowball have already said goodbye but don’t you want to see her one last time?’
‘Tiger, every day since we heard the news it’s as if we’ve been waiting to say goodbye and it’s been horrible. I would rather be chased by a dog and get stuck up a tree than go through this again. Besides, we said goodbye properly yesterday. I promised her I’d stay indoors today – but I couldn’t.’
‘Look, come on, I’ll take you to the park and we can chase birds, or tease dogs, it’s your choice.’ She patted me with her paw.‘I promise I won’t let you get stuck up a tree.’ I knew she was trying to cheer me up but I couldn’t feel anything but gloom at the idea of never seeing Snowball again.
‘OK, but I can’t promise I’ll be good company. In fact, I know I’ll be terrible company.’
‘Yeah, well, I’m used to that,’ Tiger said, but she gave me an affectionate look at the same time.
I tried to take my mind off Snowball, and goodness knows Tiger did all she could, but it was still too raw. Tiger tried everything to cheer me up: finding butterflies for me to chase, telling me how Nellie tripped on something – she’s a bit clumsy – and landed on Rocky, which apparently was funny if you were there. She even tried to involve me in the mystery of the pictures on the lamppost, but I couldn’t muster up enthusiasm for anything.
I felt as if I would never be happy again, but I was clinging onto the hope that one day I would start to feel better. I knew I would eventually; I had been through enough in my life to know that although heartbreak never fully went away, it did fade – you just had to give it time. I was quite wise, having accumulated much life experience during my eight cat years. I would never stop loving Snowball or missing her, but the way I was feeling right now would get easier. The pain of losing someone you loved never totally disappeared, but you did get used to living with it. That was how I saw it.
‘I’m sorry, Tiger. I’m so miserable. I’m just not great company,’ I said as I lay down by my favourite flowerbed. A leaf flopped on my head and I brushed it away listlessly.
‘It’s fine, I understand. Remember when Tom went away?’ Tom was a grumpy cat who used to live on our street. He was sort of Tiger’s boyfriend, although she never seemed to like him that much. His owner had died and we had all rallied around trying to figure out where he could live, but a relative took Tom to live with them and he was happy to go. Tiger had been a bit sad but then she didn’t exactly love Tom the way I loved Snowball, although for a few days she had been like a cat with a sore head.
‘Yeah, you were really scratchy,’ I said.
‘OK, yeah, so you’re miserable and I was scratchy but the principle is the same. We’re friends, and friends stick together no matter what – even when they’re not the best company. So if you want to wallow or sulk or cry or even be angry, I’m here for you. Whatever you need, Alfie, I’ll always be here for you.’
‘Tiger, you’re such a good friend and I really appreciate you. I hope you know that.’
‘Well, good, and luckily for you I’m not going anywhere.’
‘Please don’t, I couldn’t bear to lose you as well.’ And then I crumpled. To preserve what little dignity I had left, I shuffled fully under the nearest bush and then I yowled. I could feel the pain in every sound that escaped my mouth. Finally, when I was exhausted and could make no more noise, I emerged, tired and feeling as if I had lost something of myself. Tiger, who had been waiting patiently, put her paw on mine.
‘Come on, Alfie, I’ll take you home,’ she said.
The van had left by the time we got back to my house and so had the Snells’ car. They had gone. Tiger walked me to the back door and bade me farewell at the cat flap. I went through it, although even that felt like a major effort. I padded sadly to the kitchen. Claire, Jonathan and Summer and Polly, Matt and their children – Henry and Martha – were all there. They looked at me and I saw the sympathy in their eyes. Well, not the children – they just played on the floor, oblivious to my pain. I noticed that my favourite food, pilchards, sat in my bowl, but I had no appetite.
‘Alfie,’ Claire said. I just looked at each of them, sadly, and walked out, ignoring the food and going upstairs to my bed on the landing. I curled up in it and begged for sleep to come.
Chapter Seven
I sat on the sofa, listlessly watching the sun stream through the window. It had been a week since Snowball left, and the longing I felt, just to see her, speak to her, hear her voice, was all consuming. I had barely been out; I didn’t even want to see my friends. I just wanted to be alone with my poor, aching heart. Even Summer’s lovely smile had been unable to cheer me up, although I did put on a brave face for her, letting her cuddle me and even pull my tail, although that took all the energy I had.
This evening, my Polish family – Franceska, big Tomasz, Aleksy and little Tomasz – were all coming over in yet another effort to cheer me up. It was Claire’s idea. I wanted to try to be more like my old self, if only for my humans’ sakes, as they were being so kind and trying so hard, but I was oh so tired. It was like I had an illness of the heart.
‘Alfie?’ Jonathan sat down next to me, interrupting my thoughts. I nudged my head lethargically against his arm. It was the most I could offer.
‘Right, Alfie,’ he said. He was wearing his work clothes, the smart ones he normally kept away from me in case a bit of my fur snuck onto them, and he had a beer in his hand. This must be serious if he was risking his best clothes, I thought, and I couldn’t resist rubbing my head against his suit sleeve. I might be a bit down in the dumps but still … Especially as he didn’t even tell me off! He took a sip of his beer and then, looking solemn, he put it down on the coffee table.
‘I know that this sucks,’ he said, looking slightly embarrassed.‘We were very sad that Snowball had to go – we knew how close you two had become. But it’s human stuff. Jobs, houses, schools, it all added up to the Snells having to move away, and unfortunately you’re a casualty of that.’ He paused to lean forwards and take another sip of beer. I looked at him; I had no idea where this was going.‘The thing is that women, well, we love them and we lose them sometimes – but then you might find someone like I found Claire.’ He beamed as if he had solved all my problems.
‘Miaow.’ He found Claire, really? I think he’ll find I handed her to him on a plate! I rolled my eyes, as I thought back to my careful matchmaking when I first arrived on Edgar Road.
‘Claire is wonderful, and I love her deeply. She may have her moments, but when I think about some of the women I have been with … Goodness, I still shudder to remember them.’
No, I still had no idea where this was going.
‘So, anyway, the thing is, you need to dust yourself off and get back out there. You know, back in the game. Stalking alleyways for new cats the way we go to bars.’
Was he for real? Was he telling me to go down an alleyway?
‘You see,’ Jonathan continued. ‘The best way to get over heartbreak is to put yourself out there, even if it’s just for a bit of fun. Oh yes, the rebound is actually quite healthy, and you must have ways of meeting cat ladies. That Tiger down the road is pretty cute for a stripy cat. Anyway, it’s like they say, you need to get back on the horse.’
He looked pleased with himself as he downed the rest of his beer and stood up. I looked at him. Was he mad? Horses? Tiger? I might be heartbroken but Jonathan had lost the plot. If I could talk to humans I would have had a lot of questions to ask him. Instead, I put my head down, even more exhausted than before.
Claire came into the room.
‘Oh, there you are.’ She came up to Jonathan and kissed him.‘How did it go?’ she asked.
‘Yeah, I think I got through to him,’ he said as I lay down on the sofa and curled myself up into a ball.
‘Really? He still looks sad,’ Claire pointed out.
‘Give him a bit of time. We had a chat, like you asked me to. You know – man to cat. It’s all good
.’
As they both left the room, Claire looked back at me – she clearly wasn’t convinced. But then again, neither was I.
After a short catnap, I got up and greeted my other families. Although the adults could deal with my heartache, I knew the children couldn’t, especially my first-ever child friend, Aleksy, who was nearly eleven now and had always been a sensitive boy. He would hate to see me sad. Little Tomasz, who wasn’t so little, nearly as big as Aleksy despite being three years younger, was more of a physical child, and he didn’t really pick up on emotions. Polly and Matt’s children, Henry, who was almost five, and three-year-old Martha, were too young to understand my pain. As I played with them, mainly with a ball and ribbons, I made a huge effort. It wasn’t easy, but to see my friends smiling and hear them laugh was a tonic. I made a special fuss of all the children, especially Aleksy, and it did cheer me up just a tiny little bit. It was lovely to be surrounded by the love of my families. Having all of them there was such a treat, and I just about managed to be like the old me for a short while.
My families got together frequently. Polly and Matt lived on the same street and I often spent time at their house, where they had been kind enough to install a cat flap for me. Frankie and Tomasz lived a few streets away, above the restaurant they owned. The restaurant food was delicious.
Talking of food, I was distracted by the smell of it. Tomasz had brought a feast from his restaurant for everyone and he’d brought me sardines which, even though my appetite wasn’t quite what it normally was, were quite welcome. I tried my best to appreciate the food and count my blessings, although it wasn’t easy. Nothing at the moment was easy – it was as if my paws were stuck in mud.
‘So how is Alfie?’ Franceska asked Claire. I could hear them, as they had a habit of talking in front of me as if I didn’t understand. They did the same with the younger children.
‘Sad. He seems sad. He’s been off his food and he’s barely been out. I know he’ll recover but it’s heartbreaking,’ Claire said. She liked to read books, and lately she had been reading classic romances, which seemed to have made her even softer than normal.‘I just feel so terrible for him, to love and then to lose. We’ve all been there, haven’t we?’