by Heidi Rice
‘Why not? It’s what my company does.’
She snatched up her mascara. ‘For the same reason you won’t even talk about us drawing up a rental contract for this place,’ she said succinctly, lengthening the lash with precision. ‘Because I don’t want your money.’
It wasn’t the only reason, but she couldn’t seem to tell him that the baby would be enough of a connection between them when their ‘friends with benefits’ arrangement was over. That it would be hard enough living here, and seeing him every so often, without having to deal with the added problem of him having an investment in her business.
‘Tess.’ He gripped her shoulders, swung her to face him. ‘This isn’t about me giving you money. It’s an investment. The more capital you have to help with your start-up financing, the easier it will be for you to expand into—’
She pushed his hands off her shoulders. ‘I’ve already told you, I don’t need more capital. The start-up costs have been minimal so far and we’re starting small because that’s the way we want it.’ Plus she knew that his offer of investment had nothing to do with the business and everything to do with the responsibilities he felt towards the baby. But how could she point that out, and not make it sound as if she were looking for more than just a commitment to the baby?
‘Look.’ She gave a weary sigh at the dogged look of determination on his face. ‘I agreed to let you add me to your company health insurance policy, didn’t I? And set up a trust fund for the baby?’ When she thought of all the ways she’d bent over backwards to accommodate his responsible streak she started to get annoyed again. ‘I’ve even put up with your avoidance on the issue of my paying rent for this place!’
His jaw hardened. ‘There is no way I’m letting you pay rent. And I don’t know where you got the dumb idea I would. Apart from the fact that my child will be living here with you in less than five months,’ he said, his gaze straying to her midriff. ‘I’ve been practically living here myself for the last three weeks.’
‘Yes, but that’s not going to go on for ever, is it?’ she murmured, dismissing the heartsick feeling when he didn’t deny it.
She turned away again, not wanting him to see her unhappiness.
What was that all about anyway?
Obviously, once her pregnancy got more advanced, and her sex drive inevitably tapered off, they’d stop sleeping together, and they’d just be friends. Once the baby was born, she’d have a lot more important things to concentrate on and so would he. They wouldn’t have time for sex and spontaneity, they’d be far too busy learning a new life skill—one that neither of them knew anything about. So they’d hardly miss what they had now. It was what they’d agreed. And rightly so. Neither one of them needed any more emotional upheaval in their lives—but why did that justification feel less and less valid and the thought of not having Nate come round for ‘benefits’ sex more and more depressing?
Was she really that shallow and self-absorbed? That here she was about to have a child, and the only thing she could find to really worry about was missing the giddy thrill of anticipation when she got a text or a call saying he was coming over? Or that rush of adrenaline when she answered an evening knock on the cottage door, and found him leaning against the porch, swinging a bag of Chinese take-out from his fingertips like last night?
She shook the thought off and concentrated on applying the liquid eyeliner above her lashes in a straight line, despite the slight trembling in her fingers.
And why was she even worrying about this now? When the time when he wouldn’t be coming over was several months away at least?
There was no sign at the moment of her sex drive, or Nate’s for that matter, tapering off—given the way they’d jumped each other last night.
But when it did end eventually, she would be okay with it, she reassured herself. She was getting upset for no reason. And anyway, their current argument had nothing to do with the sex, and everything to do with his insistence on not letting the subject of his investing in her company drop.
‘Can we please stop talking about this?’ she said, catching his gaze in the mirror as he stood silently behind her, no doubt formulating yet another argument to try and persuade her to do what he wanted. ‘I’m not going to let you invest and that’s the end of it.’
He rested his hands on her hips and drew her round to face him. ‘All right, Tess. I’ll let it go, for now.’ He brushed his thumb across her bottom lip. ‘We can talk about it again another time.’
She stifled a groan of frustration. Hadn’t he been listening to her? But before she could object further, he wrapped his arms around her waist, and slanted his lips across hers. She kissed him back instinctively, concentrating on the quick thrill, the heady shot of adrenaline.
She clutched his shoulders, lifting on tiptoe to give him better access, determined to remember it was just sex.
He drew back first. ‘Damn it. I’ve got to go. I wish I didn’t.’
She knew he meant it, the solid proof pressing enticingly into her belly, and bolstering her resolve. ‘That’s okay. Eva will be here soon anyway.’ She glanced down at the telltale bulge in his trousers, forced her lips to curve into a wicked grin. ‘So there’s no time to make good use of that anyway.’
‘You little...!’ he admonished. ‘Bringing that up when I’m going to be stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic for an hour.’
‘Bringing what up, exactly?’ she said saucily, slipping easily into the sexy banter.
Keep it light, keep it easy. They only had so long before this part of their relationship would be over. Why spoil the time they had left?
‘Stop!’ he said, chuckling as he gave her one final kiss. Was it wishful thinking on her part, or did his amused chuckle sound a little strained?
‘I’ll see you soon,’ he said, giving her the familiar pat on the behind before he left.
She heard the kitchen door slam, and crossed to the small bathroom window to stand on tiptoe and spy on him as he jogged through the ornamental palms, his briefcase tucked under his arm and the carefully placed tie flapping over his shoulder.
She unlatched the window, wanting to call after him and ask when she’d be seeing him again. Would he drop by again this weekend so they could skinny dip in the pool and then picnic on the fried chicken and coleslaw she’d made while the sun dipped low on the horizon like last weekend? Or would he be calling round tomorrow night for their now regular Friday film night, when they could bicker over whether they were watching an action thriller or a rom-com even though they both knew they probably wouldn’t see any of the movie because they’d be too busy making out on the couch?
But she resisted the urge to call, and slowly closed the window as he disappeared from view. Her grip on the window ledge loosened and she dropped back on her heels, pushing aside the stupid yearning.
She didn’t ask about his plans to come round again, and he never said, because this was casual. This was fun. She preferred it when he showed up unannounced, which was turning out to be five or six evenings a week. It felt more spontaneous, more... She struggled to find the right word. More sexy.
If they started scheduling their dates it wouldn’t be like that any more.
She was getting to know the man she had glimpsed in his Jeep. And more importantly he was letting her. And she had discovered she really, really liked that man. He was funny and charming and smart and sensitive. And even though she found his need to be in control all the time more than a little frustrating, this getting-to-know-each-other time would stand them in good stead when they were co-parenting their child.
She’d never considered herself the domestic type, had always secretly been terrified of becoming old and boring before her time. But that had been the old her talking. The old, insecure, reckless thrill-seeker from her youth she had never quite buried until now. She already felt settled at San Revelle—in a way she never had before and, in a lot of ways, what made her feel at home here was Nate.
She frowned, clearing Nat
e’s stuff out of the bathroom in preparation for Eva’s visit. Don’t go getting sentimental again. All her worries about missing Nate and the fun they were having had to be ‘the nesting instinct’ she’d read about in her pregnancy books kicking in, or maybe it was just a biological condition brought on by the changing demands on her body. This need to pin Nate down, to ask about what they were doing, where it was all going, wasn’t really anything to do with Nate.
Because they had already decided, as far as she and Nate were concerned, it was going nowhere.
* * *
‘Wow, this place is A-mazing!’ Eva spun round with Carmine anchored to her hip to take in the full effect of the living room’s huge picture window. The baby giggled and kicked his chubby little legs.
Tess perched on the sofa and grinned at them both, glad that Eva and her son had finally managed to make it down to San Revelle for a visit. She’d been living at the cottage for over a month now and had been itching to show it off to her friend ever since she’d moved in. And she could use the distraction today.
‘Just wait till you see the pool,’ she said. ‘It’s like something out of a silent movie.’ Having Eva here would take her mind off her silly overreaction to her disagreement with Nate this morning.
‘There’s a pool?’ Eva’s eyes went wide with wonder. ‘You’re kidding.’
‘No, I’m not. I figured we could have a swim before lunch.’
Eva laughed, nuzzling her son’s nose as he continued to giggle. ‘What do you reckon, Carmy? Fancy a swim?’ She walked to Tess and gripped her hand, squeezed. ‘No wonder you look so radiant at the moment. This place is beautiful. Idyllic. I really wish I’d made it down a bit sooner. And you’re staying here rent free? How cool is that?’
‘Well, I am at the moment,’ Tess said, her smile dying. ‘Because Nate’s being annoyingly stubborn about it.’ She wrinkled her nose, remembering their ‘discussion’ again.
When the day came that their play dates came to an end, they would have established a firm friendship, just like they’d planned. But only if he stopped trying to ‘handle’ her every chance he got.
Next time he came round she was going to have it out with him. She’d conceded on a lot of stuff, but she was drawing the line over staying at the cottage rent free indefinitely—especially now she could afford to pay.
Although still in its infancy, Bay Banquets had already had a lot of positive interest in the area after she’d decided to keep her efforts local. She’d distributed her leaflets in the selection of cafés and art galleries in nearby Half Moon Bay and the other little towns dotted up the coast, and contacted a string of small local businesses that might be interested in using an events planner. She’d done an interview in the town newspaper to attract private clients and her website had gone live three weeks ago. She’d already sourced an amazing florist, and a couple of good-priced catering firms in nearby Redwood City, and checked out a selection of great hospitality venues. And last week she’d signed her first contract, with a wonderful couple of ageing flower children who wanted to renew their vows while paragliding in Big Sur! She grinned at the trouble she’d been having finding a minister willing to paraglide with them.
Sure, it was early days yet, and the turnover wouldn’t be enough to produce a decent salary until next year, but she could already see that she was providing a niche service in the area that hadn’t been filled. As long as she could offer original, efficient, well-planned events with a significant wow factor while also being rigorously cost effective, she could make Bay Banquets work.
She wanted to pay her way. It was as simple as that. It was important to her to be independent, or as independent as she could be. And it irked her that Nate didn’t seem to understand that, or didn’t want to understand that. But she figured it was up to her to make him.
‘Oh, so it’s Nate now, is it?’ Eva said, fluttering her eyelashes outrageously. ‘Do you get to see much of Firecracker Guy, then, now you’re living on his estate?’
‘A bit,’ Tess said, being deliberately evasive. She hadn’t mentioned her and Nate’s ‘friends with benefits’ arrangement to Eva, because Eva was a hopeless romantic and Tess knew she would blow it completely out of proportion.
‘How much is a bit?’
‘A bit’s a bit.’ Tess concentrated on stuffing the towels she planned to take to the pool into a tote bag. ‘He owns this place, so I do see him occasionally.’ Which was something of an understatement, but one she could live with. ‘And he’s been coming to all the scans and antenatal appointments.’
‘He has? But that’s wonderful.’ Eva said, her eyes going all soft and glowy.
Time to change the subject before Eva started getting mushy on her, too.
‘Here, let me take him.’ She lifted Carmine out of Eva’s arms, an evasive action guaranteed to get her friend’s attention. ‘Why don’t I go check Carmine’s nappy while you change into your costume? You did bring it, right?’
‘Affirmative.’ Eva whipped the striped one-piece out of the enormous bag she carried everywhere with her, and which seemed to contain everything bar the kitchen sink. ‘Although you could have mentioned the pool! I had visions of us swan-diving off the cliffs.’
Tess grinned. ‘We can do that another day.’ She bounced Carmine on her hip, who chortled. ‘When Carmy here’s old enough to join us.’
Eva laughed, hefting the sack of all things off her shoulder and passing it to Tess. ‘There are spare diapers in there if you need them.’ She buried her nose in her son’s padded bottom and took a sniff. ‘But I think you may have lucked out.’
‘Hallelujah!’ Tess said, considering it a job well done when Eva headed off to the bathroom without any more mention of her Firecracker Guy.
* * *
Ten minutes later, though, it turned out the job hadn’t been quite as well done as she’d thought.
Tess taped Carmine’s fresh nappy in place and bent down to blow a raspberry on his soft little tummy, but drew back at the loud clucking sound coming from the doorway.
Eva stood with her shoulder propped against the doorframe, a bottle of Nate’s cologne dangling from her fingers. ‘When exactly did you start using aftershave?’
Tess climbed off the bed, and took the bottle from Eva. ‘What were you doing? Poking around in my bathroom cabinets?’ she demanded, but her cheeks were already flaming.
‘I didn’t have to poke. It was on the shelf above the shower in plain sight. And more to the point, you’re blushing,’ Eva commented as Tess marched past her and headed down the hall to the bathroom.
Tess pressed her palms to scorching cheeks as she caught sight of herself in the bathroom mirror.
‘And you never blush,’ her friend added from the doorway with Carmine perched on her hip.
She did now.
Great, Eva was never going to drop this!
‘So I’m assuming that belongs to Firecracker Guy?’ Eva continued.
Tess shoved Nate’s aftershave into the cabinet, and let out a long-suffering sigh as she spied the excited smile on Eva’s face. ‘His name’s Nate.’
Eva’s grin got bigger. ‘And...?’
‘And, don’t make a big deal about it. He sleeps over sometimes, that’s all.’
Eva bounced up on her toes, making Carmine clap excitedly. ‘That’s fantastic! You’re an item. And you’re going to have a baby.’ Her eyes went all dreamy, just as Tess had feared. ‘Tess, I should be mad. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me about this monumental development. And why haven’t I met him yet?’
‘I didn’t tell you because I knew you’d do this.’ She huffed, her chin starting to quiver for no apparent reason whatsoever. ‘We’re not an item. It’s not a monumental development. It’s just sex.’
‘So, is it good sex?’
Tess choked out a laugh, the heat flaming again. ‘For Pete’s sake, Eva!’
Eva pointed. ‘I knew it. You’re blushing again. It’s not just good sex, it’s great sex, right? You
never blushed with Dan the Dweeb.’
‘Yes, it’s great sex,’ Tess confirmed. ‘In fact, it’s mega-fantastic monkey sex with bells on. Which is exactly why we’re doing it. But that’s all it is. This is not a relationship. Not even close. So don’t start getting any silly ideas about—’
‘There’s no such thing as just sex,’ Eva interrupted. ‘And there’s certainly no such thing as just mega-fantastic monkey sex with bells on. Especially if you’re about to have a baby together! Don’t be ridiculous.’
‘Our arrangement has nothing to do with the baby,’ she said, but even as the words left her mouth they sounded ridiculous to her too. ‘And we’re not about to have a baby. The baby won’t be born for another five months. This is just something for now. For the two of us. To get this...’ She wheeled her hands, how had Nate put it? ‘This sex thing out of our systems.’
It was Eva’s turn to laugh. ‘For goodness’ sake, will you listen to yourself? Have you any idea how preposterous that sounds?’
Tess shifted her gaze to the bathroom window, her face even hotter. Because now she’d said it out loud, she had a very good idea how preposterous it sounded.
Eva stepped into the room, stroked a comforting hand down Tess’s arm. ‘First of all, why would you want to get it out of your system, if it feels good? And you’re enjoying yourself?’
Tess shrugged, still unable to look at her friend.
Because it was what they had agreed. Because even if her feelings had changed, Nate’s probably hadn’t and she didn’t think she could stand him freaking out again, as he had the last time. She wanted him to be a part of the baby’s life, and if she put him on the spot, admitted that things had got a lot more complicated than expected, that she wanted them to be more than just friends, with benefits, what guarantee did she have that he wouldn’t walk away again? And anyway, how did she even know this wasn’t just a passing fancy, brought on by some kind of pregnancy-brain phenomenon, or great-sex endorphin overload?
‘Tess, this last month or so you’ve been glowing. I’ve honestly never seen you so happy. And more than that, you’ve been calm and focused and content too.’ The sincerity in Eva’s voice only made Tess’s chin quiver more. She clenched her teeth. ‘I thought it was your new business, and this house, and probably the pregnancy.’