In equal ruin: into what Pit thou seest
From what highth fall'n, so much the stronger prov'd
He with his Thunder: and till then who knew
The force of those dire Arms?”
Artemis threw the book at him, downed the rest of the whisky in her glass and threw the glass at the wall. “I know all about you.”
“Only she knows me.” Apollo said as he hit his sister, catching her on her cheek.
Battle Report: Day Five, Valhalla
There had been heavy bombardment in the night and the casualties had begun to build up on both sides. Valhalla was all abuzz with activity for 2am in the morning. Liberty had a queue 3,000 deep to process. She’d stormed through a further 1,500 already. The girl was on fire. Liberty didn’t mind these sorts of monotonous admin tasks because she could see the end in sight. She did not envy Glory having to write all those reports ready for Freya and Odin to read over their morning ambrosia. Liberty would take a break every couple of hours or so for a quick shot or snort and every time she went over to offer the sober Glory some she had been typing like a maniac.
“When was the last time you had either a drink or a fag?” Liberty asked as Glory’s fingers tapped furiously.
“About 1am yesterday morning when Honour and I were finishing up with the bridesmaid dresses.” Glory said focussing on her screen.
“That’s out of character.”
“Yes it is, isn’t it?”
“What’s wrong with you?”
“That’s such a big question. This place needs some music.” Glory said putting Classic FM on. “I can’t believe you got engaged less than a week ago and you’re getting married in two days.”
“I know it’s too much. I can’t fathom it all.”
“Are you and Bea an item then?”
“Yes.”
Glory and Liberty were at a weird standoff. Liberty was making all sorts of wild assumptions about Glory and Ares. Why was Glory not drinking and smoking all of a sudden? What did Glory think was going on between her and Bea? Glory was also making bizarre guesses about Liberty’s actions. Why was she going through with the marriage to Apollo? What did team Prometheus know about what was going on that she didn’t? Glory had added assumptions about Athena and Ares, the two Olympian war gods who had both confessed to her that they too could feel that a war was coming. Plus what the Hell was Apollo’s grand plan? Glory and Liberty were kidding themselves if they thought they were still best friends. Deep down Liberty knew that they’d be on opposing sides even if she couldn’t articulate this sense to herself. Liberty had been trying hard all of yesterday to predict Glory’s future and all she could see was Glory asleep.
***
It was 9am in the morning and Glory was outside Freya’s bedroom ready to brief her on the tea party and KW2. She’d changed out of her tartan get up from yesterday and was wearing a pair of navy cigarette trousers and a white shirt. She was still wearing her pearls as she’d become even more attached to them of late and she threw on a pair of crippling heels for good measure. Glory was leaning against the wall waiting for Sigyn to let her in. She checked her phone for the first time since she left the pub to see that over the course of the evening she had received texts from practically everyone. Glory had responded positively to Hera’s text from yesterday and now Hera endeavoured to engage her in a meaningful conversation about drapery. She was actually beginning to enjoy talking about homeware. Honour had sent some lovely drunk texts telling Glory how awesome she was. Thor had tried it on and so had Loki. Glory sent both of them texts saying that she didn’t want to see them again and deleted their numbers and their contact history on her phone just in case her phone fell into the wrong hands. Ares had rung her twice and left a voicemail asking for an audience with her at some point in the day. Apollo had rung once at 4am. Glory was just about to go on YouTube and watch videos of kittens when Sigyn and Amethyst appeared from a side door. Glory was not happy to see her.
“Yesterday was fun wasn’t it?” Sigyn said padding into the middle of the room. “What lovely tea was to be had. I liked Hera’s china, very fine. What happened to you by the way? You were playing the piano ever so nicely and then the next thing I knew you disappeared. I was flummoxed.”
“Yes, well. I take it Freya is ready to receive me.” Glory said walking past Sigyn.
“Oh yes.” Amethyst said as she got back to organising nail varnishes by shade.
This was the first time that Glory had ever been granted the pleasure of Freya’s private quarters. Freya’s bedroom was very plush and Glory’s heels sank into the shag pile carpet. There were vases of fresh flowers on nearly every free surface and as Glory approached the bed she could see that the sheets were made of silk. The room smelt like sex. Freya was sitting at her dressing table painting on her foundation. Freya beckoned Glory over to take a nearby seat.
“How awful was the tea party?” Freya asked mixing shades on a pallet.
“Well, it was alright.” Glory said shifting uncomfortably on her chair having heard the shower turn on in the adjoining the bathroom. Evidently Freya’s guest hadn’t left yet. Glory gestured to Freya whether she wanted her to leave. Freya just waved her hand, she didn’t care one jot what Glory saw.
“I find that hard to believe. You look different today.” Freya said. Glory didn’t really want to talk about it but as Freya was her employer she really didn’t have much choice in the matter.
“Well Aphrodite has lost her marbles.”
“Oh excellent, I’m really enjoying your little love triangle with Aphrodite and Ares. Do continue.”
“It’s more of an octagon than a triangle. Basically I ended up jumping out of a window.” The shower had stopped running.
“Absolutely brilliant. Could you pass me that polyfilla over there?”
Glory handed Freya the tube. “So I’m afraid I missed the rest of it and went to the pub instead.” Glory didn’t want to be there when Freya’s lover reappeared so she tried to hurry the conversation along “Do you want me to debrief you on the first four days of the Second Korean War?”
“No that’s quite alright.” Freya said. The bathroom door opened and there stood Thor in a towel.
“I’d like to debrief. You missed one heck of a party last night.” Thor said as his towel fell off. She could tell he was weighing up the prospect of a threesome.
Glory swivelled on her chair “It’s going well. I’ve got a shit tonne of dead to process if you would excuse me.”
“You’re excused.” Freya said.
***
Glory got back to her desk and rifled around her draw for some ambrosia but she couldn’t find any. She was absolutely starving; she didn’t think she’d ever been this hungry before. Then she remembered that Valour always used to have a mini fridge with some under her desk and Honour hadn’t cleared it out for Bea yet. Glory deeply missed Valour. She ached for her. She walked over to the next cubicle and found that Valour’s ambrosia stash was still there. Glory sat cross legged on Valour’s chair and chowed down. She looked forlornly at the items on the organised desk. There was a piece of paper under the conch shell that Valour used as a paperweight. Glory picked it up and read it:
Hey guys, why am I in work with a hangover this early in the morning? Can I have a pay rise pretty please with a cherry and sprinkles on top? My phone has died and I have no idea what anyone’s phone number is so I can’t ring you. I also can’t get the computer to turn on to email you because the computer confuses me. In my defence I am four hundred years old. Athena rang Glory’s desk phone and asked for Big G to come and collect some plans for border skirmishes in Kashmir but I said I’d go and get them. See you later at the pub quiz if I’m not back before then.
Glory felt sick. Valour hadn’t disappeared after going home with an elf. She went and met Athena. It was Valour who she had spoken to but she probably had a gun to her head when she was talking and Glory hadn’t realised. What did Athena have to do with Valour? That sodd
ing Daphne vase still freaked Glory out and Athena had already admitted that it wasn’t even meant for Liberty but for her. Why did Athena give a shit about what she does? Why did she care about Glory’s chaotic love life? What does Athena even have to gain by killing Valour? The only one who gained from Valour’s death in any way was Bea and what did Athena have to do with Bea? A spark of voluptuous clarity hit her and she could have kicked herself. She had half seen it earlier. She thought Bea was too familiar and was using advanced magic at the engagement party. Glory remembered Metis’s prophecy. Zeus had assumed that Metis was only just pregnant with Athena but if she’d been pregnant with twins and Athena was just the first born then the whole Athena jumping out of Zeus’s skull was just an elaborate diversion. Fuck, Bea isn’t even girl then. Glory had another thought niggle in her head: but what about Apollo? Athena was warning Glory not to get involved with Apollo but Apollo had warned Glory not to tell anyone about Valour being dead and he was going to silence Hermes on the subject. The next day her voicemail changed. Apollo was in on it too. But why did Apollo need to marry Liberty? But of course, Apollo needs to be at liberty to challenge Zeus, without true freedom to act it’s nearly impossible to disrupt the established order. But why did Bea and Athena care so much about Glory to mess with her head like that?
Glory paced down a corridor in Valhalla and dialled Bea’s number “I know all about you.”
“Do you now?” Bea asked. He couldn’t be bothered to pretend to be a girl for Glory anymore now she had finally worked it out “Only roughly I imagine. Now sister, I have a piece of brotherly advice for you: keep your head down and play along with Apollo for the time being. I’m going to get you, Liberty and Honour out of this mess.”
“You’re underestimating Apollo.” Glory said.
“That was a very matter of fact statement.”
“What’s your actual name?”
“Gravitas, but you can continue calling me Bea for ease.”
“How very considerate of you.”
“Why do you think I’m underestimating Apollo. He’s just a poet.”
“Why are you going to ‘get me out of this mess’? What’s in it for you?”
“Brotherly affection.”
“Well that would make you your father’s son.”
“Have you considered that I am actually trying to do the right thing here? Our father is a despotic tyrant, he needs to be overthrown.”
“I hadn’t considered that. Hang on a moment and I’ll see whether Valour thinks you are just trying to do the right thing. Um no, she said you’re a cunt.”
“Utilitarianism. Please don’t tell Liberty just yet.”
“Or what? Oh I see you’re in love with Liberty.”
“Or I’ll let Apollo have you.”
“Ah now there we have it, I’m a fucking bartered bride. What are you planning on doing, placating Apollo with me? Or were you going to try and bribe Ares instead after you’ve killed Apollo because he’s no longer useful? I take it that the wedding is a fixed point in time that starts the war, but I doubt the victor is settled.”
“May I suggest that we stop this conversation before either of us says anything the other regrets. I do not mean to fight with you sister. I am your only chance of being rescued from an eternity with a psychopathic poet. Right now it is safer for everyone to continue as if nothing is wrong with the world.”
Glory weighed it up tactically in her head for a moment “Alright, not that I trust you.” She threw her phone at the wall. It pissed her off that he didn’t seem to think she was capable of getting herself out of this mess. Did she really give off that strong a ‘damsel in distress’ vibe? But all she wanted to do was to speak to Apollo; she wanted him to tell her what to do. Athena’s words niggled at the back of her mind.
“You’ve really grown into your name over the last week.” Loki said from behind.
“Shit, you scared me.” Glory said gasping “Why do you look so sad?”
“Why won’t you see me anymore? I’ve been trying to ring you. You dashed out on me the other night.” Loki sighed heavily.
“Because it’s over.”
Loki leaned into Glory and put his weight on her. “I’ve just had the order.” he said.
“What order?” she asked.
“To go over the top.”
“When?”
“In two days.” Loki said hugging Glory’s waist.
“Who gave the order?”
“Surtr.”
“He’s a fire giant right?” Glory asked Loki who just nodded. The biggest ball of fire that Glory could think of was ringing her on her phone. Glory picked up the device from the spot where it had landed and stared at it as Apollo was sent through to her voicemail. “Apollo’s your father isn’t he? Fuck. Does he know about us? Don’t tell him. Whatever you do don’t tell him or he’ll do to me what he did to your mother.” Loki, Asclepius or whatever he was called pulled himself from Glory, kissed her forehead goodbye and walked away. She went back to her desk to get her handbag. Liberty had already gone home for the day so she’d have to crack her wings out and fly to Hackney. Glory stopped and stared at her desk. On it was a pair of vases one depicting Cassandra and the other Coronis. Glory got the message: don’t change your mind once you’ve agreed something with Apollo and don’t cheat on him.
Stags and Hens
When Glory got home from her shift at 11am, she went straight to the fridge, emptied it of ambrosia and crawled upstairs. She was knackered from overthinking. The house was a mess and there were Valkyries draped all over the furniture in varying states of drunkenness and undress. She’d checked that the bridesmaid dresses were all intact still, which they were mercifully. Hermes was curled up asleep in the bath tub so she couldn’t have a soak. She didn’t want to wake him up as he looked peaceful, so she went and got a blanket out of the airing cupboard and put it on him. Glory proceeded to her room which thankfully was free of unwanted Valkyries but she had another visitor. Ares was sitting on her chaise longue reviewing the reports Glory had sent him that morning on KW2.
“Ah, there you are. Liberty let me in, I hope you don’t mind. I’ve just got a few questions about Japan’s nuclear capabilities.” Ares said.
“Do you really?” Glory asked.
“No of course not, it’s all here in this very detailed report. Come and sit down.” he said gesturing to the space next to him. Glory dropped her bag on her bed and sat next to Ares. “We need to talk about the war.”
“The other war?”
“Yes the war in the heavens. The sides are drawing up and I’ve made our position very clear.”
“Our position?” Glory asked another presumptuous god.
“Yes, we’re getting married.”
“Are we now?”
“Will you marry me?”
Glory paused for a moment. It came down to whether she trusted Athena, Bea and Ares or Apollo. Bea had told her to carry on like nothing was going on and Apollo was marrying someone else. Athena was right Apollo was a loose cannon. During a battle scenario once Zeus had been overthrown who would she rather have standing beside her, Apollo or Ares? Who would win that fight? Ares would. “Yes, I’ll marry you.” Ares kissed Glory. The next thing she knew no one was wearing any clothes. She understood why Aphrodite had gone a little mental at being dumped. As they got to that sweet spot between second and third base, Coronis danced in front of Glory’s eyes. “Let’s not do it right now. Let’s wait until our wedding night, and you know, make it special.” Glory said.
“But we’re both already naked and I don’t like to waste erections.”
“I know, but it would be so romantic.” Glory heard a flutter of wings and turned to see a pair of black crows perched in the tree outside. She worried that they were spying on her.
“Alright, if you insist.” Ares said, getting up and locating his clothes. “I’ll see you tomorrow. I will have the ring by then.”
“Lovely.” Glory said. Ares finished dressing as G
lory sat on the chaise and watched. He kissed her goodbye and bounded joyously out of the room.
Glory didn’t need to worry about the crows spying on her; they were merely the bog standard garden variety. The real spies in the house were Bea and Liberty. They had heard the whole thing from the landing. Bea encouraged Liberty to text Apollo with the happy news. The game was well and truly afoot.
***
Glory woke up at 2pm to find that the bed had gained another occupant who was currently spooning her and nuzzling into her neck. She rolled over into Apollo’s chest. He smelt good.
“You shouldn’t be here.” Glory swallowed the epiphanies that she’d had that morning.
“It’s fine the old man has lost his omniscience. He barely knows what day it is anymore.” Apollo said.
“But what about the wedding?” Glory was still half asleep and she wasn’t sure whose wedding she was referring to.
“It’s fine. No one knows I’m here. The house is empty. Everyone left two hours ago for some hair of the dog.” Apollo said putting his leg over Glory protectively.
“Why are you naked again?”
“Well you were so I thought it was polite.”
“Could you go and get me some ambrosia please?”
“Sure. Ares spoke to father about you again last night. You aren’t going to marry him.” Apollo said getting up and going downstairs. He adored it when Glory was dependent on him for things.
“I’m so hungry.” Glory said once Apollo had returned and given her the ambrosia. He looked very pleased with himself. Glory devoured it very quickly.
“When do you need to go to Avalon?” Apollo asked getting back into the bed. He bit Glory’s earlobe. “You’ve changed over the last week. I like it.”
“Everyone keeps saying this but I just feel tired.” Glory said as she shifted on top of Apollo. “I don’t need to be there for another four hours.”
“Well I’m sure I could find something to occupy you until then.” Apollo said his hands wandering. “I want to taste you.”
The Valkyrie Page 19