by Jane Graves
She was leaving with nothing.
Swimming in misery, she grabbed her purse and hurried out of the room, feeling as if her life had crumbled to dust.
She could never trust Nick again, and Randall would never trust her.
After Randall followed Sarah out of the suite, slamming the door behind him, Nick stood helplessly in the middle of the room, feeling as if his entire world had just collapsed. He'd opened his heart and soul to Sarah, but in the end it hadn't been enough to make her believe he truly did love her.
Randall had made certain of that.
People said only foolish romantics believed love could happen in an instant. But the moment Nick arrived in Montego Bay and saw Sarah again, he knew he hadn't been kidding himself. It really had been love at first sight. How many times did a man experience that?
Once in a lifetime. Only once.
And now he'd lost her.
He couldn't lie. He'd done exactly what Randall said he'd done. He wasn't proud of it, but it was the truth. Back then, given how angry Randall had been, at first it had surprised Nick when he didn't mention it to anyone. Then Nick realized the last thing Randall would ever want to admit was that his no-good brother had gotten the better of him. Instead he spread the story around that he’d been the one to break up with his girlfriend, and everybody had come away believing that. He would have kept his mouth shut about it forever. Unless…
Unless he saw a way to turn the tables on his brother and use it to hurt him.
Nick sat down on the bed. He picked up the room phone and made a reservation on the next flight out of Montego Bay to Park City. He was going to have to route through both Atlanta and St. Paul, but he didn't care. He just wanted to go back to the resort, pack his things, and then get the hell out of there.
Only one thing kept this from being a complete disaster. At least Sarah wouldn't be marrying Randall. She'd be spared the ever-tightening circle of expectations that would surround anyone who became part of the Baxter family. The condescension they showed anyone who didn't conform to the Baxter way of thinking. The upside-down priorities of a husband who saw through her instead of inside her. Unfortunately, she would never believe Nick had saved her from a life of misery. Instead it was just as he'd feared.
She was going to hate him forever.
19
A few minutes later, Sarah stood outside the café waiting for the shuttle, which was scheduled to arrive any minute. If Randall had been able to cross the bridge to get there, surely it could, too.
She couldn't believe this had happened. She'd let Nick convince her that the life she'd wanted since she was thirteen years old wasn't worth having. That her fiance, a man offering her the most amazing life she could possibly have dreamed of, would only make her miserable. Her parents has always wished for a beautiful, carefree life for their daughter and struggled to provide it. But now, just as she was on the verge of having it, she'd thrown it all away.
What kind of fool was she?
A horrible churning sensation rose in her stomach. She rested her hand against it, wishing it would go away. All she could think about was that her family had flown thousands of miles for her wedding, and within the hour she was going to have to explain to them why it wasn't going to happen.
"Sarah."
She turned to see Randall approaching. No. She didn't want to talk to him. Not now. Not after this. She would have to eventually. But please not now!
He stopped beside her. "Come with me. My car's over there."
"No. I'll take the shuttle."
"There's no telling when it will come, and we need to get back to the resort."
Of course they did. So many loose ends to tie up. And she was dreading every one of them.
Finally she relented, and soon they were driving down the twisting, turning mountain road. Minutes passed. When they crossed the rickety bridge, receding rainwater still gushed wildly only inches beneath it. She cast a sidelong glance at Randall. He seemed strangely relaxed behind the wheel, one hand on it with the other resting against the gearshift.
Finally she couldn't stand the silence any longer. "When we get back, how are we going to let people know?"
"Let people know what?"
"That we're not getting married."
"Not getting married?" Randall said. "Of course we're getting married."
Sarah was stunned. "What did you say?"
"Time is short, though. How long will it take you to get dressed?"
"I thought…I thought after everything with Nick…"
"That's over and done with."
Sarah just stared at him. Was this really happening? Did this mean her future might not be shattered after all?
"You understand, don't you?" she said. "What was between Nick and me?"
"Yes."
"All of it?"
"Yes, Sarah. I understand."
"And you still want to marry me?" She swallowed hard. "Why?"
"Because I'm a very forgiving man."
No, he wasn't. If there was anything she'd learned about Randall in the year they'd known each other, it was that he never forgave, and he never forgot. He was a proud, stubborn man who kept a mental list of the people who crossed him and didn’t hesitate to cut them to the quick. What she couldn't fathom is why she hadn't been added to that list.
"I still don't understand," she said.
"This was Nick's fault. Why would I punish you for something he did?"
"He didn't do it alone."
"I said I forgive you. Now you'd do well to drop it."
Sarah was stunned into silence. She stared straight ahead, her mind feeling dark and muddled as she tried to make sense of everything that had happened.
She couldn't.
A few minutes later, the resort came into view. As they pulled through the gates and headed up the long, tree-lined road to the entrance, she told herself to do as Randall said. She was getting a second chance, so wasn't it foolish to rock the boat?
But she couldn't let it go. She desperately wanted things to be right between her and Randall again, to erase the past few days, to be that smiling bride she'd always dreamed of. But no matter what he'd just said, too much was still hanging over their heads. She needed to know he really forgave her or it would taint their relationship from now on.
"We still need to talk about this," she said.
"No, I don't believe we do."
"But I have to tell you how sorry I am. I have to tell you—"
"There's no need for that."
"Yes, there is. For some reason, you're acting as if nothing happened."
"That's because I'm a reasonable man."
"Don't take this wrong, but most of the time you're not."
She waited for him to take exception to that, but he remained strangely silent. Finally she couldn't stand it any longer. "I slept with your brother!" she shouted. "Don't you care about that?"
Randall pulled in front of the entrance to the building and shifted the car into park. As the engine idling softly, he turned to Sarah with an expression that was surprisingly sedate.
"Do I care that you slept with Nick?" He lifted one shoulder in an offhand shrug. "Not really."
Not really? What had changed? "You seemed pretty angry when you came into that hotel room. Nick has the wounds to prove it."
"Always strike first," Randall said. "It keeps the enemy on his toes."
"Enemy? What are you talking about?"
"Nick came to Jamaica with a battle plan. First he was going to seduce my fiancee. Then he was going to ruin my wedding. He won the first battle." That odd smile again. "But guess who won the war?"
Sarah was speechless. Was that what this was to Randall? A war?
Yes. That was exactly what it was. He struck first. Shots flew back and forth. Then he fired the mortal wound by exposing Nick's past transgressions, which caused Sarah to surrender. Randall didn't give a damn about collateral damage. In the war he waged against his brother, nothing mattered but crush
ing him so completely he'd never be a threat again.
"About Chicago," Randall said.
Sarah blinked. "What?"
"I trust you've put aside your reservations?"
Chicago. Big, beautiful house. Money she couldn't fathom. A handsome, powerful, successful husband. Exactly what she'd always imagined life would be like over the rainbow.
"Chicago," she murmured, still in a daze. "I can't wait."
"Good. After the wedding I'll have the money wired to your parents' mortgage company."
Her parents' mortgage. Randall was making it disappear. One phone call, and their troubles would melt like lemon drops…
"Now the ring," he said.
"What?"
"Put it back on, or people will wonder."
Then she remembered. She'd taken it off last night before she and Nick…
No. Don't think about that.
She retrieved it from her purse and slid it back on her finger. It looked odd. Foreign. As if it had never belonged there in the first place.
"And Sarah?"
"Yes?"
"This is the last time we'll ever speak about this."
Terms of surrender.
She squeezed her eyes closed to drive that thought away, trying to feel relief instead. After all, she was fortunate he was taking her back. The ceremony would go on. The life she thought she'd lost would be hers after all, and nobody would be any the wiser. Her parents would be taken care of. How much more could she have hoped for?
She closed her eyes, trying to thank her lucky stars, but they all seemed to be hidden in dark gray clouds. If only she could sit there for a moment, let it all soak in, maybe she'd see things more clearly. If only…
Just then, the parking attendant trotted down the steps. Mona was right behind him.
"Sarah!" she said as the attendant opened her door. "Thank God you're back! Time is short. We have to get you dressed!"
Sarah checked her watch and swallowed hard. In less than two hours, she'd be a married woman.
She started to step out of the car, but Randall closed his hand around her wrist. "This is just between us, Sarah," he said quietly. "Not a word to anyone else."
As if he had to say it? As if she wanted anybody else on earth to know what a fool she'd been?
She gave him an almost imperceptible nod, then turned and stepped out of the car.
"Hurry, dear," Mona said. "I've alerted your bridesmaids that you're on your way."
"Where is my mother?"
"She's dressing in her suite right now, and then she'll meet us at yours."
Mona took Sarah's arm and led her into the building. They met Kelsey and Liz coming across the atrium, carrying their dresses and shoes and everything else they needed to dress for the wedding. Given the way they were looking at her, it was clear that Liz had told them Nick was with her on the mountain last night, and now their speculation was running wild.
Sarah avoided their gazes and started toward her suite, only to have Liz grab her arm and pull her aside. "Go on," she told the rest of them. "We'll catch up in a minute."
"No," Mona said. "You have to come now. Time is running out. We're supposed to meet the photographer for pre-wedding photos in an hour and thirteen minutes!"
"Which is why I said we'd be there in one minute," Liz said.
"One minute, then," Mona said. " No longer!"
As they walked on, Liz turned back to Sarah. "I don't believe it! You're going through with this?"
"Yes."
"What happened on the mountain last night?"
"It doesn't matter. Nick is leaving, and I'm marrying Randall. And that's the end of it."
"No! This isn't the way it's supposed to happen! Nick loves you! Didn't he tell you that?"
"Yes. He did."
"And that means nothing to you?"
"It's a lie."
"A lie? What do you mean?"
"It's none of your business."
"Oh, please! We’re cousins! Our lives have always been each others' business!"
"Fine. I'll tell you what happened. I found out Nick was just using me."
Liz froze. "Using you?"
"To get back at Randall."
"For what? I mean, I know they don't like each other, but would he actually—"
"I can't explain it right now. All that matters is that he doesn't care about me. He never did. He just wanted to break up our wedding."
"No. Nick loves you. I know he does!"
"You don't know everything."
"What else is there?"
"It doesn't matter. It won't change anything. I'm marrying Randall, and that's the end of it. Now, come on!"
Sarah started back down the hall, trotting to catch up to the others. She was already on the verge of tears, and if Liz said Nick's name one more time, she just might just lose it. Brides weren't supposed to cry anything but tears of joy, so she forced herself to smile.
After all, this was the happiest day of her life.
When the shuttle arrived at the resort, Nick stepped off and ran up the steps. He strode through the lobby in a daze, intending to circle around and use a back elevator so he wouldn't have to walk through the center atrium. He didn't want to run into anyone he knew. He simply wanted out of there.
As he headed for the elevator lobby, though, he happened to glance into the atrium, and something on the grand staircase caught his eye. He stopped. Stared. A feeling of utter desolation swept through him.
Sarah stood on one of the gold-carpeted steps, one hand on the banister, looking toward a man who was taking her picture.
She was wearing a wedding dress.
For a moment, Nick didn't believe his own eyes. The wedding was still on?
He was so shocked by the sight that his knees nearly gave out. He moved a few steps away to duck behind a potted plant, torturing himself by continuing to watch her. This made no sense. Randall should be furious that she'd slept with the brother he hated. Why wasn't he demanding his ring back and telling her he never wanted to see her again?
"So, Nick. How's the nose?"
Nick spun around to find Randall standing behind him, the last person on earth he wanted to see. He was wearing a tuxedo, his hand shoved casually into the pocket of his pants as if he didn't have a care in the world. That meant what it always did—that he felt supremely confident that he'd resumed his rightful position on top of the world, leaving him free to taunt whomever he pleased. Nick automatically closed his hand into a fist, itching to give his brother some of his own medicine, to punch that condescending expression right off his face.
"That must have been a hell of a fight," Randall said, eying Nick's nose with a sly smile. "What does the other guy look like?"
Like a complete asshole. That's what he looks like!
Randall nodded toward Sarah. "I know the groom isn't supposed to see the bride in her wedding dress, but I couldn't resist taking a peek. She's beautiful, isn't she?"
Nick was amazed how Randall could say that without one shred of love or affection. He could have been talking about his Mercedes roadster for all the emotion in his voice. If Nick had ever wondered if Sarah was merely a possession to him, that sealed it.
The photographer began to put his camera away, which told Nick they were finished with the photo session. Which meant Sarah was one step closer to saying I do.
"Hard to believe you're still getting married," Nick said.
"Of course we are," Randall said offhandedly. "Why in the world would you think we wouldn't be?"
"Maybe because she slept with your brother?"
Randall had the nerve to laugh at that. "Nice try, Nick. But I told you when you got here that I wouldn't allow you to disrupt this wedding, and I damned well meant it."
That was when it struck Nick. In Randall's mind, if he called off the wedding, it would mean Nick had won. And just like before, the last thing Randall ever wanted to admit was that his no-good brother had gotten the better of him.
"Women may pla
y around with men like you," Randall said, "but they marry men like me.”
“And then those women are miserable for the rest of their lives, wishing they’d made another choice.”
“Yeah, I guess sometimes the grass is greener. Unless that grass is in front of a million dollar home.”
“Is that all you think she cares about? Your money?”
“Never hurts.”
“Yeah, it’s easy to be wealthy when Daddy doles it out, is it?”
“I earn every dime I make.”
“You’ve never had to take a risk in your life. It was all handed to you.”
“It could have been handed to you, too, if you hadn’t been such a pain in the ass.”
Nick swallowed his anger and said nothing. He just needed to get out of there. Right then, while he could still hold on to what was left of his shattered life.
"But no," Randall said. "You always had to be the rebel. And that's why you'll never have a woman like Sarah."
Nick froze, his simmering anger edging toward a full boil. No. You need to walk away. Walk away now!
"But I have to hand it to you," Randall said. "You gave it your all. Too bad your all wasn't good enough." He paused. "It never is."
Old tapes played inside Nick's head. Randall mocking him as a child. Provoking him as a teenager. Ostracizing him as an adult. Instead of protecting him, their parents had slung fuel on the fire until Nick felt as worthless as they all said he was. But as horrible as that had been, he'd come to terms with it. What he hadn't come to terms with was Randall marrying the woman he loved, maybe the only woman he would ever love. Anger and frustration welled up inside him until he thought he'd explode with it.
"And that's why the better man won," Randall said.
Nick slapped his palm against Randall's chest and backed him against the wall. Then he slid his hand up and closed it around Randall's throat. Randall grabbed Nick's wrist to wrench his hand away. "Let go of me!"
"Shut up," Nick said, reinforcing his grip. "I have something to say, and you're going to listen."
Randall tried to take a swing at Nick. Nick ducked away and tightened his grip on his brother's neck, giving him a warning stare. "If you do that again, I'm not pulling any punches. I'll put you in the fucking emergency room. Am I making myself clear?"