by Warren Adler
“What’s happening?” he asked, his agitation growing. He was genuinely confused.
“This,” she said. She reached behind her, and then held up what looked like a small trinket of some sort. She held it up and dangled it in front of him. His stomach lurched and he felt his chest tighten. Then she stretched it between fingers of two hands and read the inscription.
“My delicious whore. J.” She snickered. “J? Now who do you suppose that stands for?”
A wave of nausea washed over him. He began to sweat profusely.
“J for Jackass,” she cried, flinging the ankle bracelet in his face.
He tried to speak but couldn’t. His mind went suddenly blank. It was as if he had fainted and remained conscious.
“How about O for Over,” Victoria snapped.
“Over?”
The other shoe had dropped. He felt as if it were a horseshoe that had landed on his head.
“I had a wonderful conversation this afternoon with Dominic Bocci,” she said, her face remarkably serene. Naming Dominic made things clear. It actually served to restore him to a feeling of equilibrium. The initial shock quickly dissipated. He knew exactly where he was now. In deep shit.
“That dirty little bastard,” Josh hissed.
“I agree. But I have to assume that his allegations about you and his wife are correct.” Her arms were crossed over her chest and she seemed strangely calm. “Nevertheless, you do have a chance of rebuttal.”
“Okay, what did he tell you?” Josh asked, his throat constricted.
“Come now, Josh. Don’t be cute. He told me that you and his wife were… how shall I put it… sexually involved for the last six months, though he put it a tad more crudely.”
Her calm demeanor was disconcerting and he felt a terrible hollowness inside of him.
“I… I broke it off. I couldn’t bear the tension. It was against the grain, Victoria.”
“Against the grain?” Victoria sneered. “What crap.”
“It’s not as cut and dried….”
“Betrayal is betrayal. No getting around that, my darling husband.”
“I’ve never done anything like this.”
“Spare me,” Victoria said without emotion. She paused and shook her head. Her expression seemed one of utter disgust. “I see no legitimate reason why this marriage should not be terminated.”
“Terminated? Just like that? You make it sound so….”
“Final.”
“Cold-blooded.”
“It’s my reactive choice, Josh. I’m trying to feel nothing except a desire for….”
“Termination,” he whispered.
“Exactly.”
“There’s so much at stake here, really Victoria. A little compassion is called for. I made a mistake. I admit it. I understand how you feel.”
“I told you, Josh, I’m trying to feel nothing. And I must admit, I’m succeeding. Frankly, I don’t want to feel anything. You violated our contract. The fact is, I no longer want to be involved with you. I can’t trust you, and without trust, marriage is nothing.”
“Jeez, Victoria. You sound so….”
“Lawyerly?”
“That, too.”
“Rational is the word, Josh. Above all, this must be a time for reason. I would not want this little betrayal to disintegrate into something similar to what your parents went through.”
“Or yours,” he said, trying to recover some semblance of poise through this weak try at a counterattack.
Studying her, she reminded him of the first day they had met in her office. There was the same purposeful look in her eyes, the same single-mindedness. He knew she meant what she was saying. Hadn’t he predicted it to Evie? He was genuinely frightened.
“Our first consideration must be the children,” she said.
“Would you expect anything less of me? They’re my kids, too.” Despite the predictability of her reaction, he had secretly hoped that the gloomy fate that awaited the children might soften her stance when it came to their marriage. It hadn’t.
But it did explain her conduct during dinner. She had opted for performance over reality, a kind of protective cover for the benefit of the kids. Projecting such actions into the future, he understood the tactic. An angry scene would have devastated them.
“We must do what’s best for them,” Victoria said with conviction.
He shook his head and pursed his lips.
“I could have solved everything for two hundred thousand dollars.”
“You would never have gotten away with it, Josh. Never. Like your six-month peccadillo. Sooner or later these things come out.”
“I was such a damned fool,” he muttered.
“Worse, Josh. Far worse. Beneath contempt. When I think of all the lying you had to do… it makes me want to puke. Coming to my bed after being with her. Who was the damned fool here? How could I have not known?”
“I can’t even believe it was me doing these things. And doing them to you, Victoria. You of all people. My wife….”
She put her hands to her ears.
“I don’t want to hear it, Josh. Please. It’s too revolting. I want to avoid this scene at all costs. Do you understand? Just shut up. Please.”
Never in his life had he felt such contrition. His stomach was in knots. He wished he could will himself to disappear.
“I’m so, so sorry,” he said, feeling a sob begin deep inside of him. “I’ll do anything.” The sob surfaced and tears brimmed over his eyelids and slid down his cheeks.
“You’re pathetic,” Victoria sighed.
“That I am,” he managed to croak. He wiped away his tears with the back of his hand.
“Unfortunately, we have to consider the practical implications. As much as I hate to do it, we have to save your job. If I had my druthers, I’d let them fire your ass.”
“I wouldn’t blame you.”
“The fact is, it’s too lucrative to toss away. You are, for the moment, still the family breadwinner.”
Still? The connotation was loud and clear. She was going back to work.
She looked at him without the slightest expression of understanding or sympathy. Then she bit her lip and sucked in a deep breath.
Lifting her eyes, she said, “You’re right about one thing. I couldn’t believe you ever again. I just can’t live with that. The idea that you and that woman….” She paused and shook her head. “It just repulses me so much to think about it. Six months, Josh. Six months. How can I get it out of my mind? My God! Sharing such profound intimacy with another woman. I’m sickened by the idea of it. It was dirty, disgusting.”
She suddenly shivered as if hit by a cold wind “And dangerous. Living such a lie. How could you? I feel utterly violated. Is it a male compulsion?” Her nostrils dilated as she seemed to ponder the question for a moment. “You know, I never subscribed to my mother’s paranoia on that issue, but I can see her point, and it does frighten the hell out of me. I’m sorry, Josh. I’ve weighed all the factors, including the impact on the children. The fact is that it can never be the way it was before. Never.”
Her logic was chilling. Worse, he could not disagree with her. He knew he would have reacted in exactly the same way. She was deliberately cutting him off from his moorings.
“I love my family,” he whispered. “It’s everything to me.” In the face of her clear-eyed explanation, he felt utterly helpless.
“No, only our children are the issue. That’s all I’ve been thinking about ever since that wonderful Mr. Bocci arrived on my doorstep. I’m not going to wallow in self-pity or regret. Disillusion will pass. I guess I put my money on the wrong horse. Let’s try to work out this… this disentanglement… with a minimum of trauma for us, and especially for the children. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
He wasn’t s
ure how to respond. He had pleaded. He had begged for mercy. Suddenly another thought crossed his mind. Suppose the shoe was on the other foot. Would he forgive and forget? Forgive, maybe, he conceded. Forget, never.
“I do understand, Victoria.”
She nodded.
“I’ve also been thinking about what approach we should take.”
“Approach? You’ll have to be clearer.”
“I hope you’ll go along with me on this, Josh. I’d like us to have joint custody. It’s the closest thing to the situation we have going for them now. Two loving parents sharing their children’s lives.”
He was instantly wary.
“I’d like to do what in family law is called ‘bird nesting.’ It’s not the usual approach. But I remember the expression from my law school days, my course in family law.”
“I would like to soften the blow for the children by maintaining the household. I would like their routine to continue in the same environment with a minimum of change.
“I haven’t a clue to what you’re suggesting, Victoria.”
“I really don’t mean that we should continue to live together. What I’m suggesting is that we share our domicile. There I go with that legalese. I’m suggesting that we each take charge of the household for a couple of weeks at a time. We rotate. Two weeks on and two weeks off. That way the children will feel a lesser sense of desertion or loss. They’ll have their dad and their mom in their own environment, in their own space, but at different times. In that way, they’ll understand that they’re the priority for both of us.”
She had averted her eyes as she told him this. And she was right. It did sound radical and he hated the prospect.
“That sounds like a ridiculous idea. If you’d like, I’ll move out. Why should you have to have a separate place? You can live here. Just as long as I have access to the children.”
“Of course, you’re going to have access. Above all, I don’t want them to feel… well, deserted by their father. Maybe I’m just reacting to my own experience, but I know what it means to grow up as a fatherless child.”
“You sound so… sensible, Victoria,” he said grimly.
“We have to be, Josh. Both of us. Of course, there’s no telling how long it must last. But it seems a logical way to transition them.”
The conversation between them seemed stilted, too matter-of-fact, too rational. He would rather have had shouts and curses, recriminations, temper tantrums, cruel words, and angry diatribes. This was more like a contract negotiation, bloodless and without feeling.
His mind suddenly filled with confusing details. How will they get through the night? Will they sleep in the same bed? What will they tell the children and when? How will the children react? Will her idea about a transition period really work? There was no question that Victoria was dead earnest and determined.
At that point he suddenly remembered the original impetus for the meeting with Victoria. He was supposed to get a rundown of their financial status. At the very least, he was entitled to know the amount and disposition of their assets. He reminded her of this.
“All in due time, Josh,” she replied. “All in due time.”
He felt impotent, powerless, and devastated.
Chapter 11
They met in the storefront office of Alfonse Bocci, Dominic’s brother, on the Lower East Side of Manhattan. Josh came with her with strict instructions to remain silent.
The office was seedy and consisted of a reception area manned by a fat receptionist and a cluttered inner office with a desk piled high with papers. Behind the desk sat Alfonse, who vaguely resembled his brother. He wore no tie and a shirt that looked as if it had not been laundered for weeks.
Dominic sat in one of the mismatched chairs assembled in a semi-circle around Alfonse’s desk. He was cross-legged and upright, cautious of his pressed clothes. He had actually shaken Victoria’s hand as if they had established a friendly relationship during their earlier meeting.
Josh sat in another chair looking ashen faced. He had slept in the spare room. Victoria, wearing a gray businesslike lawyerly suit, sat beside him.
Contrary to her expectations, she felt oddly unburdened. She had been up all night, her mind filled with thoughts and various ideas on how she was going to conduct her life from that day forward. From the moment of her confrontation with Dominic Bocci the day before, she knew that she would have to prepare for profound changes in her life.
She was, of course, shocked and disgusted by Dominic’s revelations. When Dominic had suddenly appeared at her door yesterday and then unburdened himself, she managed to contain her fury over Josh. The miracle was that she was able to hold herself together, to freeze her emotions while this smooth bastard blandly told her his story. Despite her immediate detestation of the man, she knew his allegations were true. He was hardly subtle. She even forced herself to maintain a cool demeanor when he made his monetary demands. He struck her as less the outraged husband than a greedy predator. Did the fool really believe that she would consent to part with a half-a-million dollars?
He had explained that he had forgiven his wife, implying that she had submitted to Josh’s sexual demands under duress. That part of it somehow did not ring true. Under duress or not, she had succumbed and confessed. That was more than enough validation for her.
“You think I don’t know your pain?” Dominic asked her. “I got the same condition. It ain’t easy to know that your spouse is cheating on you.”
“Apparently not,” she agreed coldly, trying to recover from the sudden shock. Now she directed her thoughts to coping with the catastrophe this evil man had brought into her life.
“You should thank me for coming here,” he said.
“Don’t think I’m ungrateful,” she replied, forcing a tight smile.
“I wouldn’t have come,” he told her as if he were confessing true reluctance. “But your husband said you handle the family finances. So I had to come direct to the source. I figured he was too chicken to come clean.”
“You did come to the right place,” she agreed, continuing to be guarded about her demeanor. Survival had suddenly taken on a different meaning. At that point, she had put both him and her husband into the same category. They had now been transformed in her mind into her mother’s devil fantasy, venal male predators, her ultimate self-fulfilling prophecy.
Dominic seemed to be enjoying his role as a messenger from hell, although he was, she suspected, confused by her reaction.
“To me, it seems like a cheap price to pay,” Dominic continued. “He keeps his job, his big income. Hell, you’ll make up the money in a couple of years. No hassles.”
“Makes sense,” she mused aloud. But her thoughts were moving in another direction.
Instantaneously, the door had closed on her marriage and another had suddenly opened. She was going through this second door now, compelled by a new idea. The objective now was to prevent or severely limit any trauma to her children. Divorce was inevitable now. She had discovered that she possessed no capacity for forgiveness.
“What’s that saying?” Dominic said, screwing up his face in mock contemplation. “What’s good for the goose….”
“Is good for the gander.”
“Gander is the lady goose, right?”
He winked, his motive clear. She wished she could find the courage to choke the bastard to death.
“Maybe when all this is over….”
She forced a smile. With a knife in my hand, she thought.
“So tomorrow we get it all squared away,” he said, writing down the address of his brother’s office. “Just bring the you-know-what and we’ll put this all behind us.”
“Yes,” she nodded.
“That’s using the old noodle, Mrs. Rose. It’s all gonna be nice and legal.”
He started toward the door, stopped, and turned.
“Fuck you,” she said.
“Well, well. Finally got to you.”
He stood in the doorway and pointed a finger.
“Just be there, lady. Capisce?”
He walked out the door. She dropped to the floor and on her knees cried for a long time. Finally, with her emotions under control, she rose and began to plan her next move and her new life.
***
She had, of course, accepted Dominic’s Bocci’s challenge. In her previous law practice, she had always been good at lawyer-to-lawyer confrontations, especially when she was angry. Thus, her state of mind coming into Alphonse Bocci’s office was militant and aggressive. Her objective was clearly defined. Preserve Josh’s job and hold down the price of the Bocci bastard’s blackmail.
“I hope we can resolve the situation as quickly as possible,” Alfonse Bocci began. Just as he spoke, the fat receptionist came in with Styrofoam containers of coffee and bagels and cream cheese.
“On the house,” Alfonse said, setting the bagels and coffee out in a semicircle at the edge of his desk. He unwrapped a bagel and pulled the top off a coffee container.
“Now,” he said, his mouth full. “We are asking five hundred thousand dollars and, of course, a signed document by Mr. Rose admitting his guilt.” He looked toward Josh and smiled thinly. “Naturally, this will be filed away, never to be used, unless….”
“We understand that, Mr. Bocci,” Victoria said, glancing toward Josh, whose complexion had turned dead white. She turned toward Dominic and offered a thin smile. He smiled back, obviously secure in the knowledge that he had made the deal with the source.
“Then I assume you’ve brought the certified check for the amount specified.”
“No, I haven’t,” Victoria said calmly. “Nor do I intend to.”
“Shit!” Dominic cried, partially spilling the coffee on his razor creased gray flannels. He tried absorbing the stains with a napkin, but they seemed to make things worse. “Fuckin’ broad. What’s she trying to pull?”