“So, I guess I look like kind of a mess, huh?”
“You look beautiful.”
“Oh.” I blushed hotly at her words, as well as the sincerity in her eyes. My insides fluttered, and I suddenly felt uncharacteristically shy. “Thanks.”
Allison smiled and tucked a wayward lock of hair behind my ear. She allowed her fingers to linger, tracing my jaw almost reverently.
“I’m so proud of you,” she whispered.
“I couldn’t have done it without you,” I whispered back.
“Guess we make a pretty good team.”
“Looks like. We should collaborate more often.”
“I’m sure if we put our heads together we could come up with a project or two that could benefit.”
Allison’s eyes dropped to my lips, and I could see she was thinking about kissing me. I inhaled sharply as a fissure of excitement skittered down my spine to ignite fireworks in places decidedly lower. I licked my lips and had just resolved to kiss her senseless when someone bumped into me, reminding me that we weren’t alone. The unexpected impact knocked me off balance and shattered the intimacy of the moment.
I blushed again, embarrassed that I’d been caught so off guard, and hastened to reestablish my footing so I wouldn’t literally fall into Allison’s arms. I cleared my throat and brushed a few more stray wisps of hair back off my forehead and out of my eyes.
“You need to stretch,” Allison reminded me. “Or else you’ll be really sore later.”
“If I recall correctly, someone promised me a thorough rubdown after this fiasco.” I was flirting shamelessly as I started in the general direction of the locker room, pleased when she fell in step beside me. “I don’t like to brag, but I think I’ve earned it.”
“Oh, you do, do you?” Allison asked, a playful lilt to her tone.
“Yup. I do.”
“We’ll see.” But the curve of her lips and the twinkle in her eye left no doubt I’d be reaping my reward.
“Great job, Ryan,” Jamie said as she intercepted Allison and me on our way back to the PT building. She clapped me on the back. “I didn’t even have to throw the race. Although I was absolutely prepared to do that just to see the look on Byers’s face when he has to hand over five thousand dollars.”
“Thanks.” Even now, I was as wobbly as a newborn fawn trying to walk for the first time, and my body was still buzzing more than I was comfortable with. I looked to Allison hopefully. “So, it’s official? I really beat him?”
“Yeah, you did.” Jamie’s expression shone with triumph. “I was right behind you guys. I saw the whole thing. You won by at least four or five paces, easy. There wasn’t even a question.”
Allison’s smile widened into a full-fledged, shit-eating grin. She inclined her head to where Byers was standing next to the timekeeper, peering over his shoulder to look at the clipboard with a dark scowl marring his features. “Looks like he’s still trying to wrap his mind around it.”
“He’s so pissed right now.” Jamie chortled.
I grinned as I let out a whoop of pure joy and launched myself at Allison, crushing her in a jubilant embrace. I was so happy, my chest felt like it was about to burst. I hugged her tight for a long moment, burying my face into her neck and breathing deeply. As quickly as I’d bounded into her arms, I leapt back out again. I put a hand over my mouth, horrified at what I’d just done.
“Allison, I am so sorry. I got carried away. I didn’t mean to do that.”
“Hey. It’s okay.” Allison took a step closer to me and stared into my eyes. “I’ve told you a dozen times now that I don’t care who knows we’re together. You don’t have to worry about casually touching me in public.”
Her reassurances pleased me, but, for once, that hadn’t been my concern. “Uh, no. That wasn’t it. I accidentally just got blood and throw-up all over your shirt.” I pointed at the evidence and winced. “Sorry.”
“Oh! Gross!”
“Want me to help you take it off?” I asked, not bothering to attempt to make my tone even half as innocent as hers had been when she’d made the same inquiry a few minutes ago.
“Come on.” Jamie groaned theatrically. “You two have got to give it a rest. It’s too much. I’m going to go find Jo. Hit us up later if you want to grab a drink or something before you head back north.”
I met Allison’s eyes. “Thanks, Jamie. But I think I’ll be otherwise engaged later.”
Jamie laughed. “Yeah. I figured. But it doesn’t hurt to ask.”
As Jamie took off to locate her partner, Allison and I resumed our slow mosey back toward the locker room. I was eager to get out of this outfit and take a hot shower. Once I was back in regular clothes, with my scars safely hidden beneath layers of cotton, maybe the sheer number of stares and whispers I garnered would decrease.
“So,” I said, as a nervous flutter tickled my insides. “Are you free tonight?”
“Why, Agent O’Connor. Are you asking me out?” Allison batted her long eyelashes at me.
“Maybe. You interested?”
“Perhaps. What’d you have in mind?”
“It’s a surprise.” I didn’t have anything specific in mind at all, but I didn’t want her to know that. I’d always been good at operating under pressure. I assumed I’d be able to pull something out of thin air, and she’d be none the wiser.
“Oh, yeah? You know, I’m not normally a huge fan of surprises.”
“I know. But I thought that—” Someone else bumped my shoulder hard, knocking me off balance and almost causing me to fall. Allison caught me as I stumbled into her, and I shot an irritated glance toward the offender.
Beau Byers was glaring at me, his lips twisted into a cruel grimace. “Oops.”
Allison was immediately livid. “You did that on purpose.”
I put a restraining hand on her arm. “Allison, it’s fine. Let’s just go.”
“What the hell is the matter with you?” Allison demanded, ignoring me in favor of engaging Byers.
“Allison, come on. It doesn’t matter.”
Allison still refused to look at me. She was glowering at Byers, her hands clenching and unclenching at her sides, looking like she was considering decking him.
“Did you want something, Beau?” Allison’s voice was a low, warning rumble.
Byers cast a sidelong glance at me before he returned to sneering right back at her. His expression was angry and defiant as he stared at her, but something else lurked beneath his eyes. I tried to put a name to it and failed.
“There was, actually. I need to talk to you.”
“Well, it’s going to have to wait. I’m busy.” Allison attempted to breeze by him, but he roughly grabbed her elbow.
A powerful wave of rage washed over me at the sight of him manhandling her like that, but I gritted my teeth and tamped it down as best I could. Allison would not have appreciated any comment I might’ve made on the subject, so I opted not to say anything.
“No, Agent Reynolds. We need to talk now,” Byers stated, his intonation positively dripping with meaning and innuendo. Couple that with his expression, and it was evident that he was less than happy with his subordinate at present. That knowledge didn’t help my peace of mind any.
Allison studied him for a long moment, the fury pouring off her lithe frame in heavy waves. Whatever Byers had demanded to talk to her about, she clearly wanted no part of.
“Fine.” She took a deep breath and then turned to me. I was relieved to note her countenance soften. “Why don’t you go on ahead? I’ll be there in a minute.”
I frowned, equal parts puzzled and suspicious. I doubted Byers would retaliate for both my and Allison’s attitude toward him today, right here in the middle of the road at JJRTC, but I couldn’t be certain. The notion that he might made me reluctant to leave Allison here alone with him.
“I don’t mind waiting,” I told her, pushing against the niggling feeling of anxiety swirling around my guts.
“No, it�
��s okay.” Allison tried to dismiss me again. “This won’t take long. Trust me.” She shot Byers another look meant to wither.
Something about this situation didn’t sit right and was nagging at me. I couldn’t put my finger on why, though. I hesitated, and my mind whirled as I attempted to come up with some sort of appropriate rejoinder. I was drawing a complete blank.
“Jesus, Ryan. Just go.” Allison’s voice was sharp, and the razor edge to the command cut me deeply.
I started at the venom in her tone and recoiled as if she’d slapped me. The thought that it might’ve hurt less if she’d actually struck me flitted through the haze left in the wake of her anger, but upon seeing Byers’s smugly triumphant expression, the idea shattered like a water balloon hurled at a brick wall. Only a dripping, unsalvageable mess remained.
A scalding embarrassment bubbled up inside me, but the rising tide of my own fury quickly drowned it. I loved Allison to death, but I couldn’t come up with any acceptable scenario for her to address me in such a fashion, certainly not in front of a coworker, especially one who’d sought to humiliate me himself. I didn’t appreciate her taking it upon herself to finish the job he’d started.
I drew myself up to my full height and set my shoulders. I lifted my chin almost defiantly and pinned Allison with a cold glare. I nodded once, curtly, and clenched my jaw to rein in all the biting comments clamoring over one another, fighting for the chance to be the first to escape my lips. Without a word, I spun around and stalked away. That she didn’t even bother to call after me as I left hurt almost as badly as her snapping at me. But I was determined not to let her or anyone else see how much her attitude had upset me, so I deliberately maintained my pace as I strode toward the locker room.
Chapter Six
The warm water from the shower felt divine as it cascaded off my head and down my soap-slicked skin, washing away suds and sweat alike. My muscles were still a tad rubbery from exertion, and I could feel little pinpricks of pain wherever the water ran over the new scrapes I’d acquired during my spectacular tumble at the finish line, but it was a small price to pay in exchange for such bliss.
I’d been grateful that the locker room had been empty when I’d stormed in, partly because I hadn’t wanted to rush through this heavenly shower experience, but mostly because I’d been seething, and I’d wanted to give in to my rage and let it bubble and boil. I hadn’t wanted to have to explain my fit of temper away or, worse yet, pretend I was fine when I definitely wasn’t.
So, I’d fumed for a bit, enjoying being able to give in to my childish urge to slam the locker doors as hard as I wanted. I’d banged the heel of my unscraped hand violently against the wall to one of the toilet stalls a couple of times, and I’d punted my duffel bag across the entire length of the room. The physical release of my mental anguish helped a little, but I was still a long way from feeling mollified.
Now, in addition to the indignation I was experiencing, I was also tired and drained. The emotional and physical tolls of the day had finally caught up with me and demanded a hefty payment. All I wanted at the moment was to stand in the scalding-hot spray of the shower until the water cooled and then go back to my hotel and sleep for a year.
The sound of the shower stall door opening behind me and a gust of cool air broke into my reverie, and I froze. I could think of only one person who’d have the gall to encroach upon my bathing time like that. A surge of renewed anger rushed through me, and I knitted my eyebrows together and set my jaw again before I turned around.
Allison was leaning with her hip against the opened doorframe, an apologetic expression on her face. She was gloriously naked, but I refused to be distracted. In fact, I viewed her current state of undress as a deliberate attempt to redirect my fury, and I didn’t appreciate that ploy. The notion that she might be calculating enough to intentionally try to avoid answering for her earlier behavior in this fashion only served to fan the already ardent flames of my ire.
“This stall is occupied.”
“I know. That’s why I chose it.”
“Well, choose another one. I don’t want you in here.”
“No.” She continued to stare at me, which only made me more angry.
“What?” I demanded, eager to hurry this pointless discussion along. I rested my hands on my hips as the spray from the shower pounded against my shoulder blades.
Allison’s eyes were liquid, her expression remorseful. “Ryan, I’m really sorry.”
“Yeah? Good for you. You should be.” I turned my back to her and bought myself some time by sticking my face in the streaming water and rubbing my skin vigorously with my palms, wincing a little as they skittered over the newly acquired scrape decorating my cheek.
“Ryan.”
I childishly ignored her, preferring instead to continue to cling to all the reasons I had a right to be furious with her the way a koala bear hugs a tree.
“Ryan, please look at me.”
I tipped my head back and allowed the water to tumble across my brow and back over my crown as I ran my hands through my hair. I didn’t want to look at her. I didn’t want to talk to her. I definitely didn’t want her to know how badly she’d hurt my feelings.
“Please.” Her voice was almost a whisper, barely audible over the sound of the shower, her tone pleading.
I sighed and capitulated, unable to not give in to her every whim and desire for very long, despite myself. I took my time turning around, trying to harden my heart against what I imagined her expression to be before I actually saw it. I wanted to retain at least a modicum of pride, and crumbling instantly in the face of her distress wouldn’t help me.
As I’d expected, when I finally met Allison’s eyes, they were miserable and brimming with sadness and regret. The walls I’d so painstakingly erected around my heart started to crack. In an attempt to combat that weakness, I put my hands on my hips again and waited, somewhat impatiently.
“I am so, so sorry.” She reached out toward me as though she longed to touch me but thought better of it and pulled back at the last second.
“You’re saying that a lot today,” I shot back, still not quite ready to forgive her. “And as I’ve previously stated, you should be.”
Allison wrung her hands in a gesture I recognized as nervousness and took a tentative step closer. I took one step back. Hurt cut a wide swath across her features, but I didn’t care. She’d hurt me when she’d dismissed me like an errant child to have a throw-down with Byers. She’d embarrassed me, too. I’d just spent the better part of fifteen minutes nursing that pique. I wasn’t quite ready to loosen my grip on my righteous indignation. Not just yet.
The door to the shower stall swung shut behind Allison, and she took yet another small step toward me. My next move left me pressed bodily against the tiled wall directly underneath the showerhead. The only thing standing between us now—the only thing helping me continue this standoff—was the water cascading from the nozzle above my head.
Allison wasted no time closing the remaining distance between us. She strode through the scalding spray and stopped scant inches from me. We were standing close enough to one another that if either of us took too deep a breath, our breasts would touch. The little droplets of water now clinging to her eyelashes mesmerized me. The compulsion to tenderly kiss them off welled up.
“No. You stay over there. You know I can’t think when you touch me.”
Allison didn’t reply. Not verbally, anyway. Instead of complying with my halfhearted request, she continued to stare into my eyes, her own awash with guilt and trepidation. Which, naturally, made me feel remorseful. I sighed and massaged my temples with the thumb and middle finger of my right hand. Goose bumps broke out across my skin when I felt the light caress of her fingertips skate over my left shoulder.
“Please forgive me,” Allison said softly, breaching that last bit of space that separated us by stepping closer. The feel of her pressed up against me scrambled my brain, making it damn near impossible
to complete a train of thought.
I dropped my hand from my brow so it rested against the side of her neck. My other hand snaked loosely around her hip, and I tilted my head so my forehead was resting against hers.
“You hurt my feelings,” I said. “And you embarrassed me.”
“I know.”
“It’s probably stupid of me to feel either of those things, but that doesn’t change the fact that I do.”
“I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that. Definitely not in front of someone we work with. Especially not in front of him. I’m sorry.”
“No, you shouldn’t have.”
“I said I was sorry.”
“I know.” I took a long, deep breath and closed my eyes again, content to bask in the glow of our connection.
“So…where does that leave us, then?”
I mulled that question over for a long moment. “I don’t know.”
“I’m not very good at this,” Allison admitted. She sounded damn near heartbroken, and the rest of my anger evaporated.
“Me, either.” I sighed, suddenly exhausted again. “Well, I guess we haven’t had a lot of practice interacting as an ‘us’ in front of our peers. We’re bound to have a learning curve.”
Allison pulled back, her expression hopeful. “Does that mean you forgive me?”
I nodded. “Don’t let it happen again.” I wasn’t kidding or trying to be cute. She’d had her one mistake, and I was willing to let it go, but I wouldn’t tolerate that sort of behavior becoming a habit. I was nobody’s punching bag. Not anymore.
“I won’t. I promise.”
“Okay.”
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