Byers frowned. “But, sir—”
“Beau,” Claudia said a little sharply. “Ben has given you his decision. It’s his call to make, not yours.”
“The life of one of our protectees could potentially be endangered if she loses her objectivity for even an instant. That makes it my call.”
“Actually, that makes it mine. And you’re walking a very fine line just this side of insubordination,” Claudia warned him. “Consider your next words carefully.”
“Actually, that makes it Ethan Luke’s call,” Byers said, referring to the SAIC of PPD, who technically outranked Claudia since Hurricane’s detail fell under the umbrella of PPD. “And I can’t imagine he’d be even remotely okay with this.”
I was in total disbelief. Why was Byers continuing to push this issue? Especially when two people who were higher on the proverbial food chain had already told him to let it go.
“We could ask him,” Dad said. He pulled his phone out of the holster on his belt. “He and I were on the detail together back in the day, and I need to touch base with him anyway to reschedule the golf game I had to cancel last time I was in DC. Now’s as good a time as any to have that conversation.”
“There’s no need, Ben,” Claudia said. “Beau, you’ve received your answer. If I doubted Agent O’Connor’s ability to perform or thought she lacked focus that could put Hurricane in danger in any way, I’d remove her from this operation faster than she could open her mouth. I have no such concerns. Agent O’Connor stays.”
I felt a little tug around my heart, touched by her unwavering faith in me. It meant more to me than I’d ever have been able to describe.
“Thank you,” I whispered softly.
Byers scowled. His lips were set in a thin line, his jaw clenched. Anger wafted off him in pungent waves that soured the air around us, which only served to confuse me. What was he so upset about? Surely his ego wasn’t so fragile that he couldn’t handle a little professional difference in opinion. It just didn’t make any sense.
“Perhaps you’d be more comfortable if you went back to DC, Agent Byers,” my dad said, his tone making it clear that he wasn’t really making a suggestion. “We can take it from here. Thank you for your assistance.”
Byers had been dismissed, and he knew it. Fury sparked in his eyes, and it looked like he might’ve considered protesting, but Ware shot him a warning glare. He bobbed his head once curtly and stalked away, physically pushing past me as he went.
I ignored the shove and let out a huge sigh of relief, grateful he wouldn’t be participating in the rest of the operation. This whole thing was a giant clusterfuck as it was. The last thing I needed was somebody who would argue about every decision just for the sake of it. We couldn’t afford such a waste of time.
I reached in my pocket for the piece of paper containing the information we’d received from the cell-phone companies and handed it to my dad. “Would you mind shooting this information over to the cell-tracking guys? It’s the contact information for the people at the phone companies who will be helping us out. I thought they could reach out, get a jump on things, maybe help move it along faster. I wouldn’t even know what to say to them if I called. I don’t understand most of this cell-site stuff. It’s all gibberish to me.”
“Sure thing,” Dad said, accepting the sheet from me. “I’ll pass it along to them right now.”
“Perfect. Thanks.”
I started to turn back to Claudia and Allison and ended up running bodily into Byers, who’d apparently crept up on me when I wasn’t paying attention. I recoiled, startled. “Jesus Christ.”
The expression on Byers’s face was odd. Unsettling. His countenance was wooden, and his eyes were flat, but it immediately struck me as a mask. I sensed that underneath that strange blankness was a whole host of emotions churning away, none of them pleasant. A cold sliver of dread pierced my heart.
“Yes? Did you need something?”
Byers stared at me for a long moment, saying nothing, which creeped me the hell out. I tired of it after a few beats and rolled my eyes as I moved to brush past him, but he grabbed me by the arm, forcing me to stop.
“Hey!”
“I just thought you should know,” Byers said in a low voice with that disturbing non-expression. “I fucked your girlfriend.”
Time ground to a halt as the chill from that sliver of dread washed outward to permeate my whole body. My ears started ringing, and I suddenly felt small inside myself. I was trying to think, but rational thought had become elusive.
“Wh—what?”
Byers shrugged and looked away, but I would’ve sworn I caught the faintest gleam of triumph in his eye before he dropped my gaze. “More than once, actually.”
I struggled to gain traction and start thinking again, but nothing was happening. I couldn’t hear anything except the echo of his earlier words. I fucked your girlfriend.
My face crumpled, and a tremor racked my body. I glanced to my dad and Ware, who were standing nearby, to see if they’d heard, but they appeared to be engrossed in their own conversation and not paying attention to us. I shifted my attention to Claudia, who looked as though she couldn’t decide whether to hug me or punch Byers. And then I looked at Allison.
My stomach immediately collapsed in on itself, and the whole messy pile felt like it had dropped out of my body to land with a wet splat on the floor at my feet. I wanted to argue that it wasn’t true, what he was saying. More to the point, I wanted to believe it. But all it took was one look at her face, at the fear and guilt splashed all over her beautiful features, and I knew.
He was telling the truth.
Byers leaned closer so he could whisper to me, but he didn’t lower his voice enough to really warrant the action. Feeling his breath on my ear made me shiver in disgust.
“Gotta love foreign trips, huh?”
And having wrought all the chaos he was apparently inclined to, he turned and walked out, leaving me with about a million questions I never wanted answered.
Chapter Fourteen
Not knowing what else to do, but desperately needing some space and some fresh air, I thundered up the fire stairs toward the roof. I slammed bodily into the panic bar to fling the door open and more or less stumbled outside, ignoring the screaming alarm that accompanied my great escape. If the guys in Platform watching the cameras that monitored all the entrances and exits to the building knew what was good for them, they’d stay exactly where they were and leave me the hell alone.
I stomped to the roof’s edge and dug my hands into the rough mortar ledge, reveling in the stinging pinpricks of pain. On some level, it felt right that I should hurt on the outside, as well. Lord knew my insides were causing me serious agony at the moment. Like things weren’t fucked up enough already. I didn’t need this new distraction.
Tears welled in my eyes, blurring the streetlamps and apartment lights that dotted the picturesque view of the New York skyline spread out in front of me. I tried to take a deep breath, but the air lodged painfully in my chest, an agonizing ache in the general area that used to be occupied by my heart arresting its easy ebb and flow.
“Ryan.” Allison’s soft voice broke into my pity party.
I gasped and wrapped my arms around my middle, as though I could hold myself together through physical force alone. Just knowing she’d followed me alternately made my heart soar and my rage burn hotter. I couldn’t decide whether I wanted to kiss her or strangle her. I was in a tremendous amount of pain. I’d never been hurt this badly. Not even when she’d broken my heart that first time.
I shouldn’t have been surprised. Allison had always had the ability to completely turn my world upside down, for better or for worse. She’d always exercised both options, too. I should’ve known it’d only be a matter of time before she shattered me again. She was the only woman in existence who knew how.
And, boy, was I shattered. My insides felt like they’d been shredded to ribbons and called to mind bloody images of twi
sted and mangled intestines that would’ve put even the goriest horror film to shame. I glanced down at my abdomen, needing to verify that my entrails were still inside my body.
I pressed the heel of one hand to the center of my chest and rubbed, seeking to soothe the ache steadily growing more agonizing the longer my mind’s eye kept dwelling on made-up images of Allison and Byers tangled in each other’s arms. Bile rose in the back of my throat then, and I staggered a few steps, clenching my jaw against my stomach’s obvious intent to relieve itself of its contents. I closed my eyes and tried to banish the images from my mind. My stomach churned again, and I curled my lip into a disgusted sneer.
Was my current degree of revulsion due to how stirred up my emotions were about my sister? Probably. I’m sure that didn’t help. But did the why of it even matter? Definitely not. All that mattered was getting a handle on myself and refocusing on what was important. That wouldn’t be easy with the object of my wrath standing three feet away from me, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t going to try.
“I didn’t cheat on you.” Allison’s voice slammed up against the sharp edges of those visions of her and Byers together, causing them to splinter and break apart.
“What?” The words sounded foreign to my ears for some unknown reason. Perhaps because they hadn’t been what I’d expected her to say.
“I said I didn’t cheat on you.”
An irrational spark of hope ignited inside me, despite what I knew to be true. Even though her deer-in-the-headlights expression after Byers’s announcement had said it all, a small part of me still desperately wanted to believe that I’d misunderstood, that Allison hadn’t slept with him.
“So he was lying?” My voice wavered.
Allison’s face fell, and she looked as sad and lost as I’d ever seen her. My guts rolled again, and my teeth chattered. In addition to feeling physically ill, I now felt stupid for even asking.
“I didn’t cheat on you,” Allison repeated again.
“But you did sleep with him.”
Allison looked away. That told me everything I needed to know.
“Great,” I drawled, sarcasm dripping poisonously off every letter. “That makes me feel so much better.”
Allison’s face scrunched up in obvious confusion. “I thought that’s why you were upset. Because you thought I’d cheated on you. I know that’s how he was trying to make it sound…” She raised her hands in a helpless gesture. “But I swear I haven’t been with anybody else since before that first time I came to New York. I’d never do that to you.”
“Lucky me.”
At my venomous words, Allison frowned. “So, just to be clear, you believe I didn’t cheat on you, and that’s not why you’re upset.”
“No, Allison. That’s not why I’m upset.” Well, it had been initially, but it wasn’t why I was upset now. My stomach squirmed as though searching for an escape route. My heart felt as though it were being squeezed from the inside out. The pressure would’ve been excruciating on a normal day. Now, piled on top of everything else, it was unbearable. “Listen, I can’t do this with you right now—”
“Is it because he’s a man?”
“What?” She had to be kidding.
“Is that what’s bothering you? That I was with a man? Because—”
“No. I don’t give a shit that you were with a man.”
“Oh. Okay. Good.”
I didn’t respond, and the silence that settled between us was heavy and thick, pungent with the acrid taste of anger and betrayal. It landed on and coated my skin like a fine layer of soot.
Allison took a step closer and tried again. “So, if you know I didn’t cheat on you, and you’re not upset I was with a man, then what’s the matter?”
I shook my head, unable to force out the words that were scalding inside me. They remained stuck in the back of my throat, making it tough for me to breathe.
“Ryan, what is your problem?” Allison was starting to get angry. At me. I couldn’t believe it!
“What is my problem?” I repeated, incredulously.
“Yes. What is your problem? Why are you freaking out about this? It’s not that big a deal. I didn’t freak out when I found out you’d slept with Jamie.”
Okay, that threw me. I hadn’t been aware she’d actually known about that. Not known for sure, anyway. I’d had a feeling she’d suspected, but as far as I knew, no one had confirmed anything. I certainly hadn’t told her. Had Jamie? I faltered. No, that was ridiculous. No way would Jamie have said anything about our past to anyone. Unfortunately, my instant of hesitation must’ve been enough to confirm Allison’s suspicions, because she sneered at me in a vague sort of triumph.
“Yeah. Didn’t think I knew about that, did you?”
I sketched an irritated wave in the air with one hand as I took a step back from her, needing distance and space. “That has nothing to do with this, and you know it.”
“Doesn’t it? Because I think the fact that my girlfriend fucked one of my subordinates is information I should be privy to.”
“Oh, my God. It was forever ago. And it didn’t even mean anything.”
“Oh, so you’re allowed to have casual, meaningless sex, but I’m not?”
“It’s a completely different situation, Allison!”
“Of course. Please, queen of semantics. Enlighten me. How is this different?” Allison’s tone was caustic.
“Well, for one thing, Jamie doesn’t run around bragging to everybody within earshot that we’ve done it! She doesn’t air our history in front of a whole crowd of our coworkers. She’s actually mature enough to exercise some discretion.”
The fury that’d welled up inside me had suddenly become all-consuming. A small part of me recognized that the rational thing to do would be to put this discussion on the back burner and concentrate on my sister, but I was too far down this rabbit hole now to just walk away. My anger and frustration for all of my recent plights—at myself for being unable to protect Rory, at Walker for actually taking her, at Byers for being a complete dick, and at Allison for any number of things—had all combined to create something of a perfect storm. I was livid at everything and everybody, and a sick, sadistic part of me was anxious for this fight, for any fight. I craved an outlet for my anguish, and a knock-down, drag-out argument seemed like the perfect way to blow off a little steam.
“Who are you kidding? Everybody knows you two used to be a thing.”
“We were not a thing,” I insisted. “And you know what? It doesn’t matter if we were! At least she wasn’t my boss!”
Allison blinked, startled. I might as well have clocked her. I doubted she would’ve appeared more surprised if I had. “That’s why you’re pissed? Because he’s my boss?”
“No! I’m pissed because he’s an asshole!” I exploded. My voice was huge and echoed off the walls of the nearby buildings. I balled my hands up into fists as I seethed. The air I was forcing in and out of my lungs was coming and going in an angry hiss, leaving faint, white puffs swirling between us. I turned my back on her in an attempt to wrangle my feelings.
And that really was the crux of my problem. I didn’t care that Allison had been with somebody while we’d been split up. True, I didn’t want to dwell on it too closely, but I would’ve been a hypocrite if I’d begrudged her attempts at happiness and companionship during our hiatus.
I didn’t even care that she’d been with a man. I understood that people pinged at different spots on the sexuality scale. Guys weren’t my cup of tea, and I didn’t think there was enough beer in all of Ireland to get me to sleep with one, but if bedding the occasional dude while she was single did it for her, well, then she could ride it ’til the wheels fell off as far as I was concerned, no pun intended. Again, I didn’t need details or to think about it too hard or for too long, but good for her for letting her freak flag fly.
No, the difficulty I was having at the moment could be attributed to her specific choice in partners. The fact that it’d been Bye
rs was sticking firmly in my craw. I simply couldn’t wrap my mind around any attribute that man exhibited that would possess her to take him to her bed. I also couldn’t begin to fathom what sort of statement that made about her as a person.
I finally rounded on her so I could look her in the eye. “Beau Byers is a fucking douche bag.”
Allison shrugged as though the issue held little interest for her, but her expression was hard. “I know. And?”
I goggled at her, flabbergasted. “But you slept with him anyway?”
“I wasn’t interested in his conversational skills, Ryan.”
My stomach rolled again as I caught the implications of her quip, and I made a disgusted face. I held up one hand as though trying to physically ward off a blow. “Ugh. Don’t.”
“So, that’s it? That what’s bothering you? That I slept with him even though he’s a jerk?”
I huffed, annoyed with her for being deliberately obtuse. “I just don’t get it, Allison. You’re better than that.”
“Of course I am.”
“Then why? I know it wasn’t to get ahead at work.”
Allison’s expression darkened. “Of course it wasn’t,” she snapped.
Her tone made my own irritation, which had just lost a small portion of its considerable steam and had started to ebb, roar furiously back to life. “I just said I knew that wasn’t it. I simply can’t come up with any other reason why sleeping with him would seem like a good idea. And more than once.” I shuddered.
Allison crossed her arms across her chest. “Not that it’s any of your business because I now know exactly what and who you were doing during that time, but I was lonely, okay? And it was nice to feel wanted. Even if it was by him.”
“And there wasn’t anybody else? At all?” My tone was borderline pleading as I asked, as though the intonation alone had the power to turn back time and influence the course that had already been indelibly mapped out.
Allison scowled at me, all defensive now. “Sure there was. You think I didn’t try to date? I’ve been single for years, Ryan. Do you really believe in all that time I didn’t at least attempt to establish a relationship?”
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