by Pamela Ann
My eyes speedily shifted from her face then towards the frame. “Be careful with that, Gisele. Don’t you bloody drop it!” I thundered out, about to lose my bloody mind.
She tauntingly cocked her head, loathingly glaring at the frame. “Will it break your cold, lying heart, Jared?” She audaciously pouted, mocking the fear she found in my eyes.
Damn it all to Hell.
“I beg of you. Her memory doesn’t deserve to be disrespected in such a way.” My eyes frantically pleaded as I remained frozen, too horrified to move another step in case she dropped the precious memory of my past. “Her name’s Paige. We married when we turned seventeen because I’d gotten her pregnant. She was the love of my life, and I was hers. Something went horribly wrong during childbirth. Everything was so chaotic then, but my daughter, my little girl, my baby…Penny…She came out a stillborn. Paige died from complications right after. My life ended with them up until your father showed up to give me a helping hand. Now I’m here with you, married to you. I’m sorry. You have no idea how grave it feels to see you like this. I never intended for you to find out this way. I was going to wait for the right moment to reveal my past because it hurts to speak about them after I failed them both. I’m gutted that I can’t take the hurt away. I’m so terribly sorry for that.” I felt humbled as I spilled the painful memories I’d heavily carried in my heart. Paige and Penny were my shroud, my heavy cross to bear, reminding me of my failure. But most of all, they were the loves of my life. Losing them meant losing myself as well…up until fate had brought me Gisele. And it seemed I was given a taste of paradise before it was being threatened once again.
I understood the gravity of my inaction, but was it enough for her to leave? Surely, after what we’d been through, she wouldn’t easily give us up? I had to believe we were stronger than that, because if I didn’t, I had nothing left to hold on to.
The woman who had such a profound hold on me remained still as she silently fumed before she ever so slowly placed the frame atop the drawer. “I apologize. Had I known—I’d never dare think of it.” Silently, her tears fell, but her gaze never met mine. “I need to think. Please, don’t follow me. Don’t do anything. I just want to be alone and to be away from you.”
“Gisele…” If she decides to leave me…I’d bloody go mental. “Please, talk to me,” I despairingly beseeched.
She vehemently shook her head without bothering to wipe her tears as she carefully went past me. Unwilling to let her go, my hand hastily grabbed her arm, yanking her against my body, her back crashing against my chest as I wretchedly clung onto her.
“Forgive me, kitten…please.” Imploring, my face buried in the crook of her neck, breathing her in. The gutting pains in my chest continuously eviscerated me each time she hiccupped. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you…never like this…I’m so sorry.”
“Let go!”
I didn’t budge. “If I do, we’d be separated, and I’d rather deal with your anger and deal with this together instead of worrying if you’re okay.”
“Why the fuck do you have to be so freaking crazy!” she shrilled, her wails escalating as she tried to punch my arms, begging for release to no avail.
Closing my eyes, I stuck to her, gripping her thrashing body, holding her closer, locking her down. “I’ll bear your pain. So, hit me. Give me your best shot. Hurt me, kitten! Do what you must, but I’m not letting you go. Do you hear me? I’m. Not. Letting. You. Go.”
Gisele was past livid. She released a long, guttural cry, showcasing the pain within her. “Jesus! You drive me crazy!”
Though she tried to hurt me the best she could, my arms wouldn’t relent. She threw a good deal of weight, too, and I was sure I’d get bruises from her consistent blows lasting for over an hour or so. But I dutifully fastened, banding my arms around her with unbreakable strength. And as for the bruises, those would heal, but her heart, I wasn’t quite so sure.
“You’ve broken my trust…Your words hold no meaning anymore.” Her voice snapped into a broken cry, sounding beyond depleted, irreparably defeated.
Exhausted from fighting me off, she sagged against me. Her cries turned to hiccups. Her struggles turned to passivity. Murmuring soft words into her ear, I tried to pacify her before slowly gathering her in my arms and bringing her towards the untouched bed. I carefully placed her placid form down before joining her, my arms gathering her worn-out body, quietly holding her until her hiccups fully subsided.
“I don’t know what you’re thinking, but I do have an idea what you’re feeling,” I softly said, the ache in my throat making it difficult to breathe evenly. “This is all my fault. I’m not asking for your forgiveness, Gisele. I don’t deserve it, but I’m pleading to your heart; don’t give up on me just yet.”
This new relationship required time to blossom. We were simply ironing the kinks and curves. Disclosing my past wasn’t an easy task, even though it had happened years ago. I hoped she understood that much. It may take time for her to forgive me, and I deserved her disdain, but all I wished was for her not to shut me out.
The tremors in her body slowly began to ebb away. I heard her take a deep breath. I wasn’t sure if it was due to annoyance or relief.
“I’m sorry about what took place earlier. My guilt’s eating at me. I’ve been so blinded by hurt I didn’t fully analyze any other possibilities as to why you’d be keeping an old wedding picture. As for you not telling me about your past…It sucks to find out this way, but at the same time, I understand it’s hard to recall hurtful memories, most especially since you lost two of the most important people in your life. My insecurity—my jealousy got the best of me. It shouldn’t have, but it did.” Her tiny voice echoed in the still silence of the bedroom. “There’s nothing to forgive, Jared.” Hearing her say it was a balm to my soul. It eased the tension that racked through me. “Just no more secrets, okay? I don’t think I can cope if you bombard me with another,” she added with an edge to her tone, as if sending me a warning.
“None. I have nothing left to hide.” Relief washed over me as my lips kissed the skin on her neck.
We stayed in this position for another hour, simply absorbing each other and revitalizing our drained energies. We stayed silent, but this time, her arms stayed atop my own, reassuring whatever qualms I had left.
After we left my bedroom, Gisele quickly freshened up before we strode hand in hand towards the kitchen to satiate our grumbling bellies. The rest of the day, we spent it catching up on films we hadn’t seen. Entwined in our home’s movie theater, we made love in between films.
I realized what it meant to almost lose her. I wouldn’t let anything—or anyone—come in between us. It was rather a tall order, but giving up on her was out of the question. Not now, not ever. She was mine, and she would remain mine.
Since I had skipped heading to the headquarters due to excessive drinking the day prior, I understood I had to spend my Saturday stuck in my workroom at the headquarters, finishing the five projects we were in the middle of developing.
Although we’d been communicating through text messaging all throughout the day, I didn’t manage to part from work until past midnight. Starved and exhausted, I entered the compound with the thought of going through leftovers while Gisele sat on my lap as she gave me a rundown of her day. Earlier, she had mentioned having a fun, quiet night, but since it was rather late, I doubted we’d have anything except a quick shag before passing out cold. Tomorrow held the same schedule for me. I had to meet with my sparring partner early in the morning before heading back out to the headquarters.
Getting out of the car, I had barely pressed the alarm button when Johnson, part of the security, came to greet me with a good evening. I bid him the same.
“Miss Weber asked me to inform you to meet her in the pool area, sir.”
Nodding in acknowledgment, I quietly thanked him as I trod towards the main entrance of the house. Upon entering the threshold, my ears were instantaneously welcom
ed by the soft calming notes of Miles Davis. My cock jolted awake, quite prepared for what the minx had in mind for tonight. Without ado, I hastily made way towards the wide open French doors leading to the pool area.
The double chaise canopy had some of the curtains drawn, leaving only one section open. Varying sizes of black rimmed glass lanterns glowed with pillar candles strung and hanging around the teak wood in all four sections of the curtained canopy. Food was in silver dishes on the other side, and my stomach involuntarily grumbled in protest.
My wife was absorbed in her Meade LX200 telescope situated on a tripod at the foot of the bed as she tweaked the lenses while she waited for the lunar eclipse in the sky above. I made a mental note to specifically order her a million dollar one situated somewhere in the house so she could see more of the universe than her twenty thousand dollar one. She deserved to have the very best, and I could start with the little things she adored to do during her free time.
I should’ve guessed. I had forgotten how she and Peter used to do this as their bonding activity when she had been younger.
When I quietly approached her hunched form, she didn’t realize I was there until my arms wrapped around her torso before kissing her soft cheek. “Why are you out here alone, kitten?”
“Baby!” she shrieked as she spun around and solely focused on me, bringing her luscious mouth against mine then wrapping her arms and legs around my body. “You’re home.”
I am…I definitely, irrefutably am home.
“You didn’t invite the girls?” Cupping and gripping her ample arse cheeks, I beamed at my blushing woman.
She snickered. “They’re out partying at some party somewhere.”
I groaned as I bit her lip, quite grateful my wife didn’t decide to join her pretty, reliable but oh so crazy best friends. “What about Ginny. She seemed the type to like this sort of geeky fun?”
“Are you saying I’m a geek?” She arched her brow as she shifted her groin to rub against the emboldened hardness stuck in between her thighs.
“I’ll say whatever the hell you want me to say,” I sighed as I tried not to surrender to my body’s wishes. “All day…all I could think about was having you in the headquarters, working alongside me…so I could indulge in all the wicked things I want to do with you. I don’t have to wait to bury myself inside this body. I can bend you over any time, any place, any way I want…”
“Uh-uh…It’s a nice thought, but your wicked fantasies have to wait until summer or when I’m ready to take on extra work on top of my already-stacked schoolwork and projects.”
My hand smacked her round, supple cheek. “I’m a patient man…I can wait however long a time you need.”
She cackled, showing me her cute dimple. “Not only are you gorgeous, but you’re also delusional. Patience is not in your DNA, babe.” She teasingly patted my cheek before kissing my lips then beginning to unlatch her luscious body off mine. “I hope you’re hungry. Quentin kind of over overdid himself preparing tonight.”
“I’m famished. I’m sure I can manage,” I mumbled as I popped a buttered baby potato into my mouth.
“Well, go feed the tummy while I wait for the eclipse. It should be happening very soon…” She winked at me before she continued, sitting with her legs crossed as her focus zeroed in on the lens. She was wearing one of my shirts and minuscule silk shorts, her hair tied haphazardly atop her head like a blonde crown.
I grinned, studying her careless free spirit. Although she took time and effort to look good, she also had these blasé moments. I liked this side of her better.
Pouring the wine, I slipped off my shoes as I comfortably relaxed against the bed before I placed one of the silver platters filled with barbeque ribs, baby potatoes, and grilled zucchinis next to me. Peering at the night sky, I carefully sipped on my wine before poking her butt with my big toe. “I missed you…”
“I’ve missed you back,” she quipped back without peeling her eyes away from the lens.
“Gisele?”
“Hm…”
“I think…” I paused, needing a moment to gather my thoughts, quite heady at the thought of what I was about to say next. “Well, I believe—I’m almost sure…that I’m falling in love with you, kitten.”
This time, she pulled away but didn’t immediately turn around to face me. She took her time before letting out a haggard breath, as if trying to comprehend the weight of my confession. Ever so casually, she crawled towards me. She sat on her heels as she gazed down, reaching out to cup my face. The intensity in her gray eyes took my breath away. “I love you, but you have to understand there’s no need to butter me up after what happened yesterday, Jared. We’re past it. I’m fine. You don’t have to say these things—”
My forefinger pressed against her succulent lips, hushing her completely. Deeply boring my eyes into hers, I took hold of her hand before bringing it to my lips, kissing it softly, lovingly. “I’m telling you how I feel. No more secrets, remember?”
“I don’t know what to say…” she nervously said before grimacing. “I mean, it might not be true. You’re not fully sure, so your feelings might change later on.”
Her pessimism held no comfort. “You silly girl! Why must you ruin a good moment?” But instead of entertaining her rotten thoughts, I lovingly squeezed her cheek before playfully nipping the tip of her nose. “Do you have any idea how much it took for me to even utter those words at all?” After shifting her body so I could situate mine atop hers, I nipped her neck as she squirmed underneath me.
“Baby, no! I’m going to miss the eclipse!” she squealed, huffing and giggling as if she didn’t know which was far more superior to bestow her attention to. Well, lucky me, I had the means necessary to trap her attentions.
Need I mention how famished I was? Well, I was quite ready for my first course. Gisele-à-la-carte sounded perfectly divine.
31
Gisele
“Hey, I’m not one to call and complain, but where the hell are you? I’ve been waiting for half an hour now! Anyway, call me as soon as you can.” Ending my rant on Ginny’s voicemail, I paced around the kitchen as I anxiously placed my phone down on the polished white breakfast nook table.
She had gone on a weekend trip with Kevin (Sir Lancelot). But our research paper was due in a few days, and we had barely even begun. Ginny normally updated me, but I hadn’t heard from her all morning. We had agreed that she would swing by my house after her shift at three. It was already half past, and it only took half the time to get from school to my house.
Pouring myself a half a glass of chocolate milk, I was about to take a sip when my phone shrilled with Ginny’s name flashing on the screen.
“About time you call. Where the heck are you! We’re so going to fail if you don’t get here in the next hour, Ginny!”
There was a lengthy pause before she made a tiny gut-wrenching sound. “I don’t think I can make it. I don’t know anymore…”
Screw the project—okay, maybe not, but I couldn’t care less about it now when my friend was obviously upset about something. “Ginny, talk to me…What’s happened? Did you and Kevin fight or something?”
“I,” she croaked out, sobbing. “I can’t talk about it.”
“I’m here. You can tell me anything. You know I’m your friend. I’m here for you.” I’d never met anyone as guarded as Ginny was. Whatever had happened, it had to be quite awful. She wasn’t one to invest in tears; she said as much before. Therefore, hearing her in such a distraught state, it distressed me because I didn’t know what to do or how to solve it for her. “Where are you? Can I come see you at least? I’ll bring some hot cocoa and warm hugs.”
“I’m sorry, but I want to be alone. I left a folder at the shop. Everything’s there. Again, I’m sorry…I have to go,” she hurriedly said before the line went dead.
Baffled, I sat there, frowning at the phone for a few seconds before expelling a longwinded sigh, standing up, and making way towards the garage.
<
br /> Once I got to the coffee shop, just as she had promised, I found Ginny had left a folder with paperwork attached with a USB drive. Lucky thing I brought in my laptop with me.
Cradling a scalding cup of coffee, I chose my favorite spot with the girls and situated myself on the tattered leather before beginning to browse through Ginny’s notes. Funny how she couldn’t drop it off at my house. I knew she was upset, but why was she avoiding me? Did I do something wrong?
Too preoccupied with the work before, I didn’t realize the shadow hovering close behind up until someone cleared their throat.
“May I have a word with you? Gisele, isn’t it?”
I paused before looking up, astounded as the words got stuck in my throat, wondering why I was staring at a woman who closely resembled Paige, Jared’s departed wife.
32
Jared
Seeing that it was the end of the month, I normally tried to head home around seven in the evening, much later if the there was a faulty, unresolved project. I was beginning to appreciate why Peter brought some of his work home, and I supposed I’d end up doing the same.
After the Thanksgiving dinner, I hadn’t had the chance to properly speak to Anahl about the vault in the basement. I’d been bombarded with work and personal obstacles, one after the other. It had rather taken a toll on me. I admitted, Gisele’s new role in my life was a blessing, but it’d also proved to be challenging. But even though I was stretching myself at both ends, I’d never been happier, and at the end of the day, it was what counted the most.
It was thirty before midnight when I dragged myself into the house, exhaustion seeping through me with each step. My neck and shoulders were tremendously throbbing, and I hoped Gisele would take pity on me and offer to rub it away.
The bedroom was dark upon entering. Treading carefully, I strode towards the bed area, double checking if she was asleep, and she was. My heart swelled at the sight of her sleeping figure before I retreated into the bathroom then turned the dial to shower.