When I couldn't take it any longer I pulled my shirt off, craving to be skin to skin with Leah. I moved the fabric of her top sluggishly, the time consuming way I was going about it making her pant and the flesh all over her body pebble. By the time she was bare from the waist up, her nipples were crimson and so taut that it looked painful.
"I need you inside of me." She pleaded, her voice no more than a whisper.
I knew she didn't need any warm up, and there was time for that later. Right now, we needed to be connected.
I removed her shorts and then my pants, fisting myself as I moved back toward the bed where the most beautiful angel was spread open just for me.
Her flaxen hair laid in silky sheets across the pillows and her long toned limbs made my shiver in anticipation. But it was that perfect, pink, wet pussy that had me almost swallowing my tongue. Jesus, she was so bloody beautiful.
Moving over her, I lined up in a way that felt so familiar to our bodies, yet so new. It had been over a month since I'd been inside of her, and my cock was jumping at the chance like a dog with a bloody bone. But I had to take this slow.
I fixed my eyes on the glassy green ones staring up at me and palmed Leah's face as I slid into her inch by inch. Only when I was pushed in to the hilt, both of us nearly sobbing at the tightness and fullness did I speak.
"I missed you so much."
"I missed you too, Killian."
I kissed her then. Kissed her like my life depended on it, like the world was coming to an end and the last thing I was going to do was kiss the bloody hell out of the woman I loved.
"I love you." I whispered, training my eyes on hers again.
Her lip tipped up but I caught her off guard, sliding out and all the way back in slowly. She moaned, not a loud sound but almost like it was a regular breath.
I moved at a snail's pace, pulling all the way out and pushing back in until we were shaking on the edge of our climaxes.
"Please..." The word was strangled as Leah thrashed, her hands tangled in my hair, holding my head inches above hers.
I would never deny her anything she wanted again. "I'll give you everything I have. All of me. I’m yours."
I started to thrust, long hard strokes into her as her walls gripped me so fiercely I swore I would go blind. Leah was crying out and scratching at my back, and I knew the moment her orgasm took her because I could feel each vein, wall and muscle contract inside of her, rolling outwards and onto my cock so hard that I knew I would come harder than I ever would in my life.
"I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you..."
It was the chant that I didn't silence even after I collapsed on top of Leah, the word "complete" the only one in my head.
30
Leah
I didn’t fit here anymore, that much was clear.
I’d go to work, sit in front of the computer all day sending monotonous emails and tick down the seconds until I got to go home to Killian again. Not that I wasn’t grateful for my position at the small firm in town, I knew how hard it was to get a job right out of school. But compared to 73Bulbs, where it was literally like jumping out of a plane and hoping the parachute deployed, this felt like the tamest thing in the world. I found that I craved the danger.
My parents had gotten home from the fair a few days ago, and what a great few days they’d been. Killian and I had been naked for most of them, making up on lost time, exploring and rediscovering each other’s bodies.
But we hadn’t spoken about what came next. In that little bubble, nothing between us but skin and sheets, I hadn’t wanted to disrupt anything. But I knew Killian had to make a decision, get back or do something else. After all, I’d run his schedule, it was ingrained into my brain.
I missed London. I missed the foggy, old city with its historic buildings and sophisticated people, its old world charm and rules. Oklahoma just felt small, stifling. Especially with Killian here. It was so obvious he didn’t fit, yet he was still here. For me.
We were laying on the grass in the backyard, Killian reading some trade rumors on his phone and me just staring through my sunglasses up into the sun.
“So…I think you should go back to London.”
I watched him go still out of the corner of my eye, his hand tightened around mine on the dry, brown grass beneath our fingers.
“I told you I’m not going anywhere. Not without you.” There was an edge to his voice, an anger. I tried not to smile.
“Well that’s good. Because I’m coming with you.”
He rolled over faster than a dog looking for a belly rub. “What?!”
I slowly turned my head his way, the crinkly grass cracking under my neck. “I’m coming back to London with you. To be honest, I’ve missed it, I miss my job. I want back into the fast paced lifestyle, the constant schedule. This just isn’t home anymore.”
Killian didn’t say anything, just leaned over and captured my lips, pouring all of the love he had in him into me. When he pulled away I could barely breathe.
“Move in with me.”
It wasn’t a question, but I had known he was going to ask that. And I was not insane, there was no way I was saying no.
“Yes. But you should know, I leave wet towels on the floor. And sometimes I get really upset if I can’t find the right outfit. And I don’t eat the same dinner two nights in a row.”
Killian’s eyebrow went up in that sexy way that made me want to take off all my clothes and launch myself at him. “I think I can handle you, young American. Because I love you. And everything after that just doesn’t matter.”
* * *
My parents had seen it coming. I think they’d known for weeks that I wouldn’t stay here, even before I admitted it to myself. They were sad, but Killian promised to fly them over whenever they wanted to visit. Rich bastard.
I left my job at the small PR firm in Oklahoma and contacted Cressida’s assistant at 73Bulbs. Even though we were due to fly out today, I hadn’t heard back. It was okay though, I knew someone who was in the market for a PR guru on his staff.
In the past week I’d applied for a new Visa, gotten my affairs in order, forwarded my mail, and made Killian take me to every single spot around town that I would miss. I even bought him cowboy boots, which I thought he looked sexy as hell in. He looked like someone had crapped in his cereal when I made him put them on.
We had most of my stuff shipped overseas already and Killian had sent Jimmy out for everything else so that I’d be greeted by my usual products at the flat when we got there.
It was all still so surreal. If you had told me a year ago, hell six months ago, that I was going to meet a much older pain-in-the-ass man, whom I would work for and fall in love with, move in with and travel across the world for, I would have laughed in your face.
When I’d gone to London the first time, I was a broken, lost person. I was hanging on to my life and identity by a thread, hoping and praying for something to guide me the right way or lead me on a new path. And I’d found it. In Killian.
My whole family drove us to the airport, my mom sniffling in the front seat and my dad sending Killian stern stares through the rearview mirror. I knew they were happy for me though. They would have said something if they weren’t.
I gripped Killian’s hand in the back of the van, my heart and stomach fluttering with the biggest butterflies I’d ever had. I wasn’t scared or nervous or anxious. I was excited. So damn excited for our future, for my work, for moving in with Killian, for our life together in London. I couldn’t wait to get started.
The airport was pretty empty as we headed to our gate, boarded our redeye. The press had been off of our scent for months now, and it was nice to lean into Killian’s embrace, rest my head on his shoulder in the first class seats as we took off, Oklahoma disappearing behind us.
I slept soundly most of the flight on Killian’s shoulder, only waking when we began to descend into Heathrow. My heart thudded in my chest. It even felt better being back a
nd we were only on the concrete outside of the industrial airport complex.
“Ready, little lamb? I have a feeling you’re a lot more prepared this time.”
“Only because I know how to deal with you properly now, you wanker.”
He smiled. “I love you.”
“I love you too.”
We collected our bags and walked to the pickup area, where I took off running at the sight of Jimmy. I wrapped my arms around him in a bear hug.
“Jimmy! It’s so good to see you.”
“Glad you got our bloke all sorted out. I told him he was being a git all along.” He winked at me, his big bushy eyebrows smiling with his expression. He took our bags and walked out in front of us through the doors.
Killian threaded his fingers through mine as he held the door. And then there was nothing but flashbulbs.
Paparazzi were everywhere. Screaming bloody murder at us.
My senses were off, and the only thing I could focus on was Killian’s illuminated face as he turned toward me.
He didn’t hesitate for a second. One hand came up to cup my cheek, the other wrapped around my waist. He leaned his head down and I caught the smirk in those perfect ice blue eyes before he kissed me, that way like the world was ending.
Killian was going public. With me. Both of us together, no interviews or shows. A real live public display of affection. Everyone would know about us for sure now.
And as the man I loved kissed me in the middle of a media superstorm, I couldn’t care less.
Epilogue
Killian
Two Years Later
Rows and rows of vineyard grapes gleamed in the afternoon sun for as far as the eye could see. The leaves blew in a gentle breeze, and at the top of the hill on Viali Vineyard and Winery, I stood in a black tuxedo waiting for my bride.
The guests, about 50 or so, sat in white chairs with navy bows hanging off the back. Leah's mum sat front row center, three chairs next to her waiting patiently for her two daughters, who would proceed Leah down the aisle, and her husband, who would walk arm and arm with his daughter before handing her off to me.
On the other side, my mum sat in the front row. Over the last two years Leah had tried hard to make a family for us here in Europe with the only remaining people I had left. It still surprised me how my mum took to her, but I was glad she was here for such a special moment in my life.
As for me, I was solid. I'd expected anxiety or nerves...maybe a wonky feeling or two. But I was calm as a pitch before a match. I was unwavering, at peace. This was where I was meant to be all along. Waiting for her, ready to commit in the most permanent way possible. Ready to start the next chapter of our lives together.
It only made sense that we get married here, on the vineyard. I'd proposed down the hill, on the veranda of our Florence house a little over a year ago. It was a warm June night and Leah and I were summering here after Windingham had ended the season as Premier League Champions. We'd been out on the patio, her sitting on my lap as I fed her sips of wine from my glass, and I knew exactly at that moment it had to be then. I'd had the ring for weeks, going back and forth with myself. But I cut the rubbish then, got down on one knee, and sealed the deal. I'd told her how much she meant to me, how she'd brought me back to life and expanded it more than I could have ever imagined. I told her how I wanted to love and cherish her forever, and someday when she was ready we could have a family of our own.
That was a big one for me. It was something Leah and I had fought about a couple of times. I was bloody scared to try and have a baby again, and my fear made me lash out at her. But then I pictured a little girl with snowy blonde hair, running around kicking a football and my heart melted.
The violins started up, the traditional Canon in D ringing out over the perfect, sunny day on the winery. Delilah and Katie walked elegantly down the aisle one after the other in floor length navy dresses that Leah had picked out. I'd let her pick out whatever she wanted. I wanted today to be everything she wanted and more. I didn't care about cakes and ruffles. All I wanted was her.
The crowd stood and I felt my heart start to sprint in my chest, and tears prick the corner of my eyes. Before I'd met Leah, I was a shell of a man. I was hanging on to life by a thread, only going through the motions. Happiness back then was a foreign concept. But now? Every single minute of every single day was full of it. She had saved me, she had saved my life. Forever couldn't come soon enough.
And then there she was. Moving down the aisle on her father's arm. She looked like an angel, a princess. She didn't even look real. Leah looked like a dream. She had on a lace gown that flared out from her tiny hips, and it had no straps. I could see her beautiful collar bone, the swell of her breasts. Her long legs were hidden from me, and already I couldn't wait to get her back to our house down the hill and pull that material from her body until she was begging me to be inside of her.
He brought her towards me, and I saw the long, white-blonde curls floating around her face and shoulders. She was so beautiful it took my bloody breath away.
Her father kissed her and took her hand and put it in mine. I felt her soft fingers over mine, the way our skin flickered and caught fire, sending flames licking up both of our arms and into our hearts. I knew she felt it too, because I heard the tiny gasp leave that pouty mouth. It was always like this with us.
“Hi.” She whispered.
“You look incredible.” I whispered back.
If the minister hadn’t cleared his throat and begun the ceremony, I think I would have stood there holding her hand and looking into her eyes for the rest of eternity.
He went through his spiel about how marriage was a sacred vow, a commitment, blah blah blah. Yes that was all bloody brilliant, but I wanted him to speed up to the part where I got to kiss my woman, making her mine forever.
“The couple has prepared their own vows.” The minister looked in my direction, but all I could feel was Leah’s hands gripping mine, all I could see was her shining, smiling face staring into mine.
I took a deep breath, feeling a knot form in my throat.
“Leah. To say that you saved my life would be an understatement. We never really know just how meaningless our lives are until that person, the exact person who is meant to find us, walks into our world and completely upends it. For me, that was you. And so I promise to keep upending your world. I promise I will never let things get boring, and that I’ll be a bloody twit as much as you’ll put up with it. I promise to treat you with compassion, and to always foster your drive because that is what makes you unique and wonderful. I promise to nurture your dreams, because through them your soul shines. I promise to help shoulder our challenges and take the pain when you aren’t able to. But most of all, I promise to love you every single day of our lives without hesitation, because as long as we have love, there is nothing we cannot face.”
By the time I finished, my eyes were misty, but her tears were streaming down her face. She mouthed “I love you” to me and tried to blink her eyes to clear the emotion from them. The minister motioned to her.
“Killian. I met you at a point in my life where I did not believe in soulmates. But it turned out, I just hadn’t met mine yet. And as time went by, your love made me believe. I feel truly blessed because I've found a love that transcends continents, grows through the years and will now stand the test of time. I see these vows not as promises but as privileges: I get to laugh with you and cry with you, or yell at you for being a twit. I get to care for you and share with you. I get to run with you and walk with you, maybe not as fast as you can but you know I’ll try to keep up and you will try to slow down. And I will build with you and live with you for all the days of our lives. I love you Killian, and I’m looking forward to all of these privileges with you.”
Now I could feel the wetness on my cheeks as she finished her vows. There was nothing left to say. She’d said it all perfectly.
“I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride.”<
br />
I was cautious not to muss her up, but I placed one hand on her hip, the other on her cheek. We pressed our lips together, meeting in the middle, and it was as if electricity crackled between them. This moment was the definition of perfection, absolute completeness. I’d found my soulmate, and now she was officially, legally and spiritually, mine.
We grinned like fools as we walked down the aisle and made our way over to the reception space. A big outdoor space with thousands of twinkling lights on strings made up the faux roof, and big oak tables overflowing with white roses. It was simple, rustic and beautiful. Kind of like my wife.
“Hi husband.” She smiled, wrapping her arms around my neck as we joined together on the dance floor for our first dance.
“Cheerio wife.” I whispered in her ear as the first chords of La Vie En Rose started to play.
The crowd faded away, the only two people in the whole world were Leah and I, dancing as close as two people physically could. And I sang to her.
“Hold me close and hold me fast, the magic spell you cast, this is la vie en rose.”
Acknowledgments
There are so many people to thank that I could probably write an entire novella just expressing my immense gratitude.
First, to the readers. You are such an amazing community of women (and the few men too!). Without you, I wouldn’t be able to do what I love, and wouldn’t have amazing people to talk to and discuss fictional characters with. There is no greater joy than hearing from others who connect with my books and characters on an emotional level. Seriously, thank you from the bottom of my heart.
To Nina, whose sassy southern voice plays in my head with each plot line I introduce. You kick my ass, force me to be a better writer, and have become one amazing friend. Love you!
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