by Kip Nelson
“I'm not such a kid anymore, Mom,” he said with sadness in his voice.
“No, but you'll always be my son,” she replied, and stroked the side of his face. But she still had one more question to ask him, a question to which she wasn't sure she wanted to know the answer.
“I need to know one more thing, though...the other thing that man said, about the children...”
When she asked the question, Tristan hung his head. “Peter said we were liberating them, that their parents couldn't care for them, just like they couldn't care for us. He said we knew what we all needed, and that we were going to be our own family, and we were going to be doing them a favor.”
“Oh, Tristan,” she said.
“You don't know what it was like, Mom,” he said, looking at her with bloodshot eyes. “It was so scary, all the time, and we'd all been through it. There were lots of children who had lost their parents, too. I know Peter isn't right, but he provided a safe space for us, and we all felt stronger for it. I'm sorry I've done these things, Mom. I'm sorry I've disappointed you. I'm not the same son you used to know. I've changed, a lot, and maybe it's best that I go back to the Lost Children. Maybe it was a mistake to leave them. And if I go back, that might be enough to stop them from being angry at you.”
Maggie was filled with pride as she looked at her son and how mature he seemed, but she flung her arms around him and held him tightly to her. “I'm never letting you go again. We've all done things that we're not proud of, me included. This world has changed all of us. But no matter what you've done you're still my son and I still love you. I know you're not a bad kid. You were just scared, we all were, but now we're together, and we can make a new start for ourselves.” Then the tears came from her as well as she felt Tristan's arms return the embrace and she knew that, for all the sadness of the apocalypse, she at least had this small piece of happiness. For so long her life had been absent of joy, and now it was overwhelming.
It was at this point that Mack appeared and saw them huddled together. He told them that they needed to get moving. Maggie stood and transformed into cop mode as she took the rifle from Mack and examined it. She gave the rifle an approving nod as she looked down its length and felt the weight of it in her hands. As she held the rifle she inherently understood that Mack had it because the other man had been killed. She nodded to him with understanding, and then looked at Tristan, wondering what other secrets he held within his heart. This world was cruel and grim, but seeing her son stand and walk beside her filled Maggie with hope. He had done terrible things, yes, but so, too, had she, and there was still room in this world for forgiveness.
“Let's get home,” Mack said. He walked away.
Maggie looked at him and knew she never would be able to thank him enough for accompanying her on that mission, and that nothing ever could repay him for helping her find her son. She spared a silent thought in hope that, one day, he would be reunited with his loved one as well, and that he would know the same exhilarating happiness she now was feeling.
Chapter Four
After waiting for longer than she should have, it was clear Bob was not going to appear. Grace didn't know whether to feel insulted, and the whole endeavor only had caused more fear and panic to spread through the populace. In the meantime, to save them from worrying, Grace told them to continue about their business and focus on the tasks they had been assigned. Glowering, she left the entrance to City Hall and asked the others to go find Bob, while she returned to the office to ruminate on everything that just had happened.
They still had the prisoner in custody. Grace was going to have another conversation with her at some point soon, but before then she wanted to formulate a plan, and tried putting herself in Mack's shoes. However, he had had years of military training and experience that she lacked. She simply didn't have the skills needed to come up with a clever strategy in the time available.
It wasn't long before people came back to her with news that Bob could not be found, and that some people had seen him leave. Grace was angered by this as she felt responsible and didn't want him wandering around the city alone. It was a dangerous place for anyone to be, especially a man of Bob's years. However, Will wasn't at all surprised. The man who first had rescued them from the territory of the Lost Children shrugged.
“He always threatened to go and do something like this but, of course, he was the leader of the community and he couldn't very well leave his post. You gave him the freedom to do that.”
“It's still damn stupid of him,” Grace said.
“He always said he wanted to take matters into his own hands. He probably thinks he's doing you a favor. If you ever see him again, he'll expect you to say thanks,” Will said.
Grace liked Will. He had an easy way about him, and was the type of person who could have been friends with anyone. It was impossible to be angry around him. Grace smiled and the anger drained from her. She rolled her shoulders. She was feeling tension there, tension she had not experienced before, but assumed was another one of the burdens of leadership.
“Given the state of the city, I doubt I'll ever see him again,” she said offhandedly. Then realized she had said the wrong thing by the look on Will's face.
“I'm sorry,” she added, “I wasn't thinking.”
“It's okay. I just don't like him being out there anymore than you do. We spent a lot of time working together, and despite all his thoughts, I considered him a friend. In some ways, I wish he had come to me about it so that I could have gone with him, but he always liked to think of himself as a lone wolf.”
“Right now we need to figure out a plan to deal with this faction. Can you go find the others and bring them in here?” she asked. Will nodded and obeyed.
While he was gone, Grace reached up and massaged her shoulders, wincing as she found the aching sweet spot. She looked out of the window and wondered what it must have been like to be the actual mayor of the city, to have had so many lives dependent on the decisions he made. When the others returned, it was all business as she talked about the need to come up with a plan. Grace sat behind the desk while the others stood scattered around the office. She could tell Luis wanted to talk to her, to be close with her, and she wanted the same thing, but it had to wait for the moment.
Before she addressed them, she noticed Saul's absence. When she asked about him she was told he was taking his duties seriously, and still was guarding the prisoner. Grace raised an eyebrow but didn't think much of it.
“I've been thinking, and honestly, I'm at a loss for what to do. I know we should try protecting this place, but I don't really know how to go about that. My main concern is there's still so much we don't know about them. We need more information, because right now we don't know where they're coming from or how many of them there are.”
“I know the area. I could go around on a patrol and see what I can find out, and in the meantime, try finding Bob. I'm sure he's heading that way anyway,” Will offered.
“Okay,” Grace said, “but I don't want you going alone. You might run into trouble and need some help.”
“I'll go,” Luis offered.
Grace's first instinct was to say no, to keep him in the confines of the settlement where he could be safe, but that was unfair, not only to him but to everyone else. They all were in this together, and each day brought with it new risks. That was part of the bargain they had made when they started experiencing feelings for each other, and it was a risk that they had to take. Grace nodded her assent and Luis and Will in turn nodded at each other.
“Just be careful. We don't know what's out there, and given what happened, they could be close. Stay safe and don't do anything reckless. All we need from you is information. The most important thing is that you get back to us alive.” As she said this her eyes fell on Luis. “We need that information, and the two of you can't wage war by yourselves. The same goes for Bob, and tell him that if you find him. We can't have him doing anything reckless because it's likely to end
up creating trouble for him and yourselves.”
“No offense, Grace,” Will began, “but that's easier said than done. I mean, you've seen how he is. What are we supposed to do if he's on the warpath?”
Grace sighed. “Try talking him down. If you want, you can repeat what I told everyone outside, that I'm wrong and I want to apologize to him. I'm sure his ego will pull him back here. If not, then just try your best. Ideally, I'd like to have all of you back here.” Luis and Will nodded, but the two of them knew the enormity of the task ahead of them.
“And is there anything we can do?” Freddie asked. Grace turned to face him and Hank.
“Actually, yes, you can be there for people. Right now, they're going to be frightened and worried and you two need to do all you can to try talking with them. I know that doesn't sound like the most heroic thing, but it's what people need right now, and I would appreciate it. We need to get this sorted so we can figure out what happened to Maggie and Mack as well,” she said with more than a hint of frustration in her voice.
“We always can look for them while we're out,” Will offered.
“Thanks, but we have to be worried about this settlement first and foremost. There are too many people here. Your priority is to get information and get back here as quickly as you can, got it?” Will and Luis nodded, as did Freddie and Hank.
They all left, aside from Luis, who lingered in the office. Once the door was shut he walked over to Grace and held her in his arms. The two of them kissed and Grace murmured with contentment.
“That feels nice,” she said, smiling.
“I know, it's almost been too long. I wanted to talk with you. Are you okay?”
“Yeah, pretty much, I'm just worried, I guess, worried about too many things.”
“It'll all work out. I'm proud of you, you know, seeing you up there, talking to everyone like that. We've come a long way.”
“I know, right? I was just an angry girl and you were tied to a chair in a basement.” They laughed, even though the memories were raw and, at the time, the fear had been real, and there had been nothing to laugh about at all.
“So, last night...you looked different when you came outside.”
“I felt different,” she said, sighing as she rested her head on his shoulder. His hand stroked her arm.
“You prayed?”
“I did.”
“So, are you, like, a Christian now?”
“I guess so,” she said, raising her head as she heard uncertainty in his voice. “Is that going to be a problem?”
“No! Not at all, I think it's wonderful. I mean...I was raised in that way, but I didn't follow it. I've always envied people who believed because it feels like they have something to hold onto, something to aspire to, and there have been times when I have felt it, too. What's it like?”
“I don't know,” she said, almost surprised at his enthusiasm, since she had anticipated her turn to faith would cause problems between the two of them.
“It feels strange right now because it's all so new. I never even thought to believe when I was younger, but now it's one of the only things in this world that makes sense to me. When I was sitting in that hall last night, I was there, and I felt God with me. I know it defies rational explanation, but I turned to him for help, and he gave me this feeling of strength and courage. Now, even though I'm still not quite sure exactly what to do, I feel better knowing that I have something watching over me. I'm still not sure if I would call myself Christian, exactly, but I am a believer, and I have faith, and it means a lot to me that you support me in this.”
“Of course,” Luis said, smiling and kissing her on the forehead. “And I'm glad that you're not upset that I volunteered for the scouting mission.”
“I had to bite my tongue,” she said, looking up at him and smiling. There was sadness in their eyes as they looked at each other, for they knew that caring for each other was a dangerous thing.
“I just want to be useful, and finding my way around things is something I'm good at. I want us to be able to deal with whoever these people are. But I will come back to you. We've only just started this thing, and I'm not going to leave now.” His voice took on a more serious tone as he cupped Grace's head in his hands and kissed her deeply. It was a kiss that surged through her body and made her head swim, intoxicated by the very essence of him. After that they kissed again, more softly, until they broke away.
“I should go and prepare the horses with Will,” he said.
“And I have a date with a certain prisoner,” she said, raising her eyebrows at the prospect of talking with the prisoner once again.
After they had left the brief meeting, Freddie and Hank walked out of City Hall together. The two of them had been through the apocalypse since the beginning and had formed a firm bond of trust that had seen them survive the darkest nights, the nights that had taken so many of their other friends.
“I wish we could spare some people to go after Mack and Maggie,” Freddie said. “I hate to think of them out there alone.”
“Now, don't you go getting any rash ideas like Bob,” Hank said.
Freddie chuckled to himself. “Don't you worry about that. There's not much I could do out there. You know I'm not much of a fighter. You heard Grace anyway, I'm needed here. We both are.”
“She's right, though. People are scared, and they need us now. Especially you. You should tell people that you're a counselor. I'm sure there's a spare room here that you could set up as your office.”
“I think that's your department right about now. Given everything we've been through, and what's happened to the world, I think more people are going to turn to faith, like Grace has.”
“That may be, but the Lord only can do so much. People turn to him when they want to see a plan, or to feel the warmth of his spirit. You can help them face the reality and work through their problems. The mind needs healing just as much as the body, and that is your purpose here, Freddie. You can do some good if you just remember who you are.”
Freddie listened to Hank's words and felt a surge of courage within him. He had missed counseling people, and it would be nice to have a place he could call an office again. Thinking about it, there were so many people who had been through a traumatic experience who would need to talk things through.
“Okay,” he said, nodding, “I'll do it. I'll start spreading the word.”
“That makes me happy,” Hank said.
“And those I can't help, I'll send to you,” Freddie added with a twinkle in his eye. Both men laughed as they walked into the community and started engaging people in conversation.
The prisoner had been taken to another abandoned building that had remained unscathed. Saul and another guard were standing outside a room on the ground floor. There was a bolt on the outside that was pulled across. Saul didn't smile when he saw Grace.
“How is she?” Grace asked.
“Quiet. We've fed her and made sure that she's had toilet breaks, but she doesn't say anything, and she hasn't proven to be any trouble.”
“Thank you for taking care of the guarding,” she said.
“I like it, it gives me time to think,” Saul said.
Grace looked at him quizzically. Even though they had spent much time together, there was still much about Saul that she didn't know, and wondered if she ever would solve the riddle of him.
“I'm going in there now and we'll see if she says anything.” Saul nodded and pulled the bolt back, then opened the door.
Grace walked in to the dim, small room and saw that the girl was sitting on the bed. There was a table and two chairs in the room and a painting hung on the wall. Beside the bed was a tray with crumbs on it, but other than that the room was empty. The girl was about Grace's age and had a defiant look on her face. Grace pulled out a chair and sat down, looked at the girl, and said nothing.
Chapter Five
Before leaving, Luis and Will went to the stables to prepare a couple of horses and get some suppli
es ready. They packed some food and water into small bags, for they did not expect to be absent for very long, and they also armed themselves with pistols and knives in case they came across any aggressive forces. For Luis, it was a chance to explore the city and quell his restless spirit. He was a traveler and a wanderer, he had been all his life. In his childhood, he had felt shackled by having to stay in one place. Even now, although he was traveling across the country, he longed to see everything he could before he died. During their time on the farm, and in the settlement in the forest, Luis had learned how to ride a horse, but he still was clumsy compared to Will. It wasn't long before the two of them were ready and atop their horses, cantering out through the barrier, riding through the empty streets.
“It never gets less surreal, seeing this place so empty and desolate,” Will said.
“I can imagine,” Luis replied, looking out at the expanse of concrete jungle.
“Where do you come from?”
“Oh, a ways away. I was actually on a trip across the country when the EMP struck. I didn't even realize anything had happened until I came across a house.”
“Lucky you found someone kind.”
“They weren't kind. They locked me up. Grace and Mack found me and rescued me, that's how we met.”
“Wow, that must have been...tough?” Will said, not really sure how to reply to that comment. Luis merely shrugged.
“A lot of people have been through a lot worse things than I have. What about you? I take it you're from around here?”
Will beamed with pride, “Born and raised! Lived here all my life. Lots of my friends spoke about getting out of the city and seeing the world, but I never understood why. Sure, there are plenty of beautiful things to see, but this place had it all and I never got bored. I guess some people would think that's boring, but to me this place always will be home.” As he said that last word, Luis noticed his head droop, and his tone changed to hint at a hidden sadness.