She walked around the side of the house listening to the groan of power tools while trying to look nonchalant. What was she going to say to him? She blushed as she thought about the events of the previous night. She rounded the last corner and saw Brett leaning against the side of the would-be pool house gulping a sports drink. Damn, he looks good. She tripped over her own feet and caught herself on the side of the house. A slow grin spread across his face as he walked toward her. She could feel her pulse racing as he neared. He stopped a foot or so away and just stood there looking at her for a long moment. She wasn’t sure what to say. She wasn’t even sure she would be able to form words if she thought of something.
“Hi,” she breathed, finally.
“Hi, yourself,” he grinned that mind numbing grin again. She looked down at her shoes for no other reason than she couldn’t stand another minute of looking into those bottomless blue eyes.
“I, uh, I didn’t know you’d be working today. I mean, I didn’t think you worked on Sundays.”
“Well, normally we wouldn’t, but apparently you all are having some kinda party and your father wants to make sure the pool house is finished, so he’s footing the bill for double pay.” She glanced up nervously, again at a loss for words.
“Oh, you mean my graduation party. About that…”
“What about that?” he looked at her curiously.
“I was wondering if you’d be my date for the party,” she stammered out.
A strange look on his face, almost anger but she couldn’t think of anything he could be angry with her about, “Listen darlin’ about that. About last night…” he trailed off.
“What about last night?” she whispered, still confused by the hard look on his face.
“Well, I should apologize. I never should have let that happen and…”
“Apologize?” she cut him off. “You have nothing to apologize for. Last night was…was wonderful,” she felt her cheeks burning again.
“Sarah,” he strained, “listen to me. You’re the boss’s daughter and I’m just here to do a job then I’m outta here. It never should have happened and it definitely can’t happen again. You said yourself that you have a boyfriend and I don’t want any complications. I never should have shown up at your stupid prom and I certainly never should have gone to that damned river.”
“Unbelievable!” She felt anger push aside the pain of rejection and blinked away the tears starting to form. There was no way she was going to let him see how hurt and humiliated she felt. How could she have been so stupid? She knew he was too old to really be interested in her, but she had let him use her anyway. Now she was kicking herself. “God, you’re an asshole!”
She turned around and stormed toward the door. When she got in the house, she felt the tears stream down her cheeks as she started up the stairs to her room. She flung herself on the bed and berated herself again for being so stupid. She would have to find a way to avoid him until construction was complete next week. At least it was only a week.
-8-
Sarah lay in bed, watching shadows dance across her bedroom ceiling. The cacophony of power tools and hammering had woken her, and she had immediately pictured Brett, sweat trickling down, swinging a hammer. Not wanting to face him, she simply laid there watching the silhouettes of leaves dancing in the breeze. Steeling herself, she shoved back the down comforter and rushed into the bathroom. She ran through her morning routine and was out the door and in her car in record time. She was still fuming as she made the drive to school.
She sat numbly through all of her classes and barely listened to Amber as she babbled on and on during lunch. Amber was so involved in reliving her date with Shane (yet again) that she didn’t even seem to notice Sarah’s disinterest.
“I wonder why he hasn’t called me,” Amber sighed. “Did he say anything to you?”
“Amber,” Sarah said, unable to hide her exasperation, “he has finals this week. He headed back to St. Louis before I even woke up on Sunday. I haven’t talked to him at all.”
“Jesus, Sarah, I just asked. I don’t know what your problem is, but you don’t have to take it out on me,” Amber retorted as she stood up and stormed out of the cafeteria.
She made it through the rest of the day and pulled into her driveway before she even realized it. She headed into her house like she was wearing blinders, refusing to even look in the general direction of the nearly completed pool house. She wasn’t sure what she would do if she saw him there.
“Sarah,” her mother called, “is that you?”
“Yes, mom” she sighed. She wasn’t in the mood for her mother’s always sunny personality.
“Your father will be home in a few minutes and then we are heading out. You going to be okay for dinner?” she asked.
“Yes, mom, I’ll be fine,” she rolled her eyes. Her mother still acted like she as twelve.
“Good,” her mother looked at her face as she rounded the counter and frowned. “You do remember we’re going to St. Louis tonight?” Now she did. Sarah couldn’t believe she’d forgotten all about it. Her parents had been telling her for days they were going to St. Louis to attend some kind of political function.
“These things can sometimes run very late. If this one does, we may just get a hotel room up there and come home in the morning. You sure you’ll be okay? You look a little upset. You aren’t still upset about Chad missing prom are you?”
“No, mom, I’m just stressed about finals. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine.” When her mother still looked doubtful she plastered on a smile and continued. “I promise. You guys have a good time.”
After several more promises that she could take care of herself for one night, Sarah finally broke free and made her way to her room. She threw her backpack on the bed and fell down beside it. She sat there wondering what to do when she heard engines roaring to life outside. She crept over and peeked out her window. The last of the workmen were climbing into their trucks and pulling out. Construction was finally complete. Only when she let out a sigh did she realize she’d been holding her breath.
Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! She berated herself again when she realized she was holding onto to some childish hope that he was going to talk to her. Angry at herself all over again, she left the bedroom and walked out of the house. She wandered mindlessly and found herself in the woods again, heading for the river bank.
Why are you torturing yourself? It obviously meant way more to you than it did to him. Still she couldn’t help herself and continued toward the edge of the woods. She paused at the rock upon which he’d made love to her only two nights before. She sat down on the rocky bank and mindlessly tossed pebbles into the water. Slowly, she rose and started downstream, still trying to wash away thoughts of him. She found herself standing on the edge of the cliff she and Shane had jumped from as kids. She plopped down atop the rocky ledge and let her feet hang over the edge.
I guess Amber was right. I was just being stupid. Washington probably isn’t so bad and Chad loves me. So what if he can be competitive and maybe a little insensitive? Everybody has their faults and at least he would never have treated me this way after I gave myself to him.
She shook her head and told herself to just stop thinking. She pulled up her legs and stretched out to stare up at the clouds. Dusk was approaching and she could see a firefly glowing off and on above her in the trees. She groaned as she realized it was time to head back home. Even with graduation only a week away, she still had one more final and needed to study.
She was barely on her feet when she felt the rocks move under them. She reached out to grab onto a tree branch but it was too late, she couldn’t stop the slipping and felt herself falling toward the edge of the cliff.
Stop freaking out! You’ve jumped from here a thousand times!
She couldn’t stop herself from being afraid. Usually she’d made this jump on purpose, not by accident. Sarah tumbled over in the air and righted herself for a feet first entry. She gasped as the
icy water surrounded her.
The current was moving quickly as it always did following the April rains. She began paddling her way back to the surface scolding herself for being so careless. When she surfaced, she took a breath and started swimming toward the edge. It was quickly getting darker…and colder. She was already shivering from the spring-fed water and yet, as hard as she tried, she didn’t seem to be making much progress getting to shore.
The water was deeper and moving faster than usual. The river carried her further downstream, oblivious to her strokes in the opposite direction. Realizing what was happening and remembering lessons from her childhood, she adjusted her paddling so that she was moving more with the current rather than trying to fight it. She was making progress, but not quickly enough.
She could feel the burning fatigue spread through her muscles which were already starting to numb in the frigid waters. Stop being a baby and swim, dammit! With renewed determination, she put a little more force in her strokes and realized quickly that she was getting closer to the edge. She could see a tree hanging down ahead and positioned herself to reach up and grab it as she passed under. Please don’t let there be snakes on the branch! She neared the limb and reached her hand up for it. The bark tore into her fingers, but she clamped her fist around it. When she heard the wood snap, panic soared through her mind.
“Sarah? Sarah, grab on to this,” she heard and looked to see Brett running down the bank, large branch in his hand. He shoved it in front of her and she grabbed it with both hands and held tightly as he pulled her closer to the sandy shore.
He ran down into the water and reached out to grab her while pulling her nearer with the branch. He grabbed her arm and tugged her to her feet. Sarah was so weak she could barely stand up and he quickly scooped her up into his arms.
Not again! She silently groaned. What are you some constant damsel in distress?
“Oh, my God, darlin’,” he nearly yelled. “You okay?”
She laid her head against his shoulder and nodded slowly when she realized she was too weak even to talk. He laid her gently on the ground and took off his flannel shirt laying it over her.
“You’re freezing cold. What happened? How long were you in the water?” He asked questions too quickly for her to answer.
“I fell,” she moaned, “off a cliff by my house.”
“Your house?” he muttered, “that’s over a mile from here.” her teeth chattered in response. The sun was nearly all the way down now and the air was cooling off quickly. He saw her teething clacking together and hurriedly scooped her up into his arms again, walking with purpose down a path through the trees.
“Wh..wh..where are we..we.. going?”
He looked down on her and his eyebrows were furrowed with concern.
“My house is right over here. We’ve got to get you warm.” She leaned her head back against his warm shoulder, too tired to argue.
-9-
Sarah’s eyelids fluttered open and she tried to forget the dream she was having. She grabbed her pillow and pulled it closer to her as she rolled over. She heard the fireplace crackle and it occurred to her that she wasn’t in her bedroom. It didn’t have a fireplace. Also, her bed wasn’t this hard. She sat up quickly and scanned the room while the blood rushed to her head and made her dizzy. She swooned.
“Easy, there,” Brett said as he hurried toward her. She was lying in the middle of what she assumed was his living room floor. She was wearing nothing but one of his flannel shirts and was bundled up in several old quilts that looked like something his grandmother must’ve sewn. There was a roaring fire in the fireplace before her. A couch that had seen better days was to her left with an oak coffee table pushed crookedly up against it.
Brett knelt down beside her and touched the side of her face. “You okay?” She nodded, still a bit confused about her surroundings. Suddenly, she remembered falling into the water and him being there to pull her out. She remembered him saying he was taking her to his house, but she didn’t remember arriving.
“You looked like you were just really tired, so I didn’t take you to a hospital, but if you didn’t wake up soon I was going to anyway. I tried to call your parents but no one answered at your house so I thought I’d better just let you sleep,” he said softly.
“Thanks,” she whispered, “they’re in St. Louis. My parents, I mean. They’re probably staying all night.” She looked around the room as the walk from the river started coming back to her. “Your grandmother is Geraldine Williams?”
“Yeah, why? Do you know her?”
“Of course. I’ve lived practically next door to her my whole life. She used to give Shane and me cookies when she saw us playing down by the river. I should have made the connection, I guess.” She looked toward the kitchen. “Where is she?”
“Oh,” he suddenly looked uncomfortable and looked away from her. “She went to the doctor today and wasn’t doing too well. He wanted her to stay in the hospital for a few days.” He looked worried.
“I’m so sorry.” She averted her eyes and found herself looking out the window at the darkness. “What time is it?” she asked
“Almost midnight,” he answered still staring at the wall. “Your clothes are in the dryer. They should be done soon and then I can drive you home.”
“Thanks,” she said, feeling uncomfortable now because he did. ”And thanks for pulling me out of the river. I must look like a drowned rat,” she smiled.
“You scared me there for a minute,” he finally turned his head to look at her.” I was going down to catch a few fish when I saw you goin’ up and down like one of my bobbers. I didn’t even realize it was you at first.” He smiled but his eyes still looked troubled.
“I fell in,” she said.
‘Yeah, that’s what you said. You really should be more careful, you know?” he teased. Suddenly, his face was only inches away and she felt some kind of magnet pulling her closer to him. Their lips were almost touching when he suddenly went rigid. She leaned forward and kissed him softly. He pulled away quickly.
“Don’t Sarah,” he mumbled, “I can’t…”
“Whatever,” she said stubbornly. “If you don’t want me here, just get me my clothes, dry or not, and I’ll just walk home.” She was suddenly fuming with anger and rejection. She couldn’t believe she’d put herself right back into the situation she was desperately trying forget. She was getting up when he started laughing.
“Oh, I see, now you’re going to laugh at me?” she hurled. “That’s just lovely!” She threw back the blankets and stood up, glaring at a wall to avoid looking at him. She knew if she had to look into those crystal eyes, her own would start to well up again. He grabbed her hand and pulled her back to the make-shift bed.
“You think I don’t want you?” he asked in all seriousness
“That much is obvious,” she retorted.
“Darlin’,” his eyes darkened, “I want you way too much. That’s the problem. Can’t you see that?”
Stunned, she could only stare at him.
“Then… then why…” she started.
“Because,” he looked down briefly, “you’re only seventeen for starters. If that wasn’t enough, there’s this little thing about me working for your father. I don’t think Mr. McGuire would appreciate his daughter dating somebody like me, do you?”
“I’ll be eighteen tomorrow for Christ’s sake,” she argued. “And my father has no say in who I date or don’t date.” She squared her shoulders stubbornly and tried not to think about her parents.
“This could get us both into trouble,” he whispered as he leaned closer to her, a look of surrender creeping over his face
“That’ll just make it more fun,” she smiled and leaned into his kiss.
****
The heat of the fire warmed her skin as Sarah reveled in the afterglow of their lovemaking. Her arm found Brett’s chest and she smiled to herself as she felt the cords of muscle flex beneath her touch. Brett’s arm tightened
around her shoulders, pulling her closer to him.
“Mornin’ sunshine,” he whispered and she glanced out the window at the rising sun.
“Good morning,” she grinned at him. Looking into his eyes this close, she suddenly pulled back frowning and covered her face with both hands. “Oh crap! I must look awful” She started to pull away from his embrace but he caught her face and pulled her toward him.
“You could never look awful,” he whispered as he kissed her softly on the forehead. He let out a relaxed sigh as he laid his head back on the pillow. He seemed much less tormented then he had and Sarah realized that sometime during their lovemaking he resolved his inner conflict about being with her. She felt giddy lying in his arms.
“Just so we’re clear, darlin’” he smiled. “I’m not tryin’ to get rid of you, but what time do your parents get back?”
“Not for a while,” she answered as she sat up drowsily. “And Shane’s back at school, but Diana will be there. She’ll notice I didn’t sleep in my bed.”
“Diana?” he asked.
“She’s part housekeeper, part nanny but mostly just a bonus family member,” Sarah answered pushing aside the blankets. Brett climbed out of their makeshift bed and Sarah couldn’t help but stare as he walked naked from the room. Moments later, he returned with her clothes, fresh from the dryer.
They dressed quickly and Brett led her out the front door. As they neared his truck a thought occurred to her.
“Someone might hear your truck. I’ll just walk back. It’s not that far.” Brett turned toward her, grabbed her hand and led her toward the trees. As they neared the path to Sarah’s house, Brett stopped and held her face in both hands. He turned her face up to look at him.
Killer Desires Page 5