Sarah’s breath caught as she saw her brother on the bed in the center of the room. Even though he looked no different than when she’d last seen him, the image was still a shock. His head was wrapped in white gauze so completely that only small tufts of his black hair were visible. Various tubes and wires connected his body to the machines that filled the far wall, keeping the nurses constantly apprised of the activities of his vital organs.
Her mother was draped over the side of the bed, half laying on Shane, holding his right hand as if she were his single connection to life.
Sarah crept to the opposite side of the bed and simultaneously reached for both Shane’s and her mother’s hands as she knelt on the hard tiled floor.
Cathleen’s stare finally tore from Shane’s battered face and searched Sarah’s expression for some morsel of hope.
Sarah swallowed back a sob as she stared into her mother’s eyes, so red and swollen from crying that the green of her irises seems to glow in the dim light. It was clear to Sarah that Cathleen was living the worst nightmare a mother could imagine.
Sarah forced a faint smile and gave her mother’s hand a comforting squeeze.
“He’s going to be okay, mom” she whispered.
“I know,” Cathleen murmured blankly and returned her eyes to her first born.
“We just have to have a little faith,” Sarah whispered.
“What are the doctors saying?”
“They don’t know anything yet,” Sarah admitted.
“What do you mean they don’t know anything?” Cathleen demanded. “Where the hell are they?”
The outburst took Sarah by surprise. She wasn’t sure she’d ever heard her mother swear before. “Mom, just calm down. They’re waiting for test results. They’ll be in as soon as they know something, I’m sure.”
“They need to be doing something. That is my son lying there. Where are the damned doctors?” The sobs overtook her and she collapsed by Shane’s side.
Unsure how best to respond, Sarah simply agreed to go find someone.
“I’ll be right back,” Sarah promised as she rose, though she was certain her mother didn’t hear her.
In silence, she followed her father out into the hall and pulled the door closed behind her. Tears spilled over her lashes as she turned to embrace her father again. “I think you better get in there. I’ll see if I can find the doctor.”
“Have you been here all night?” Jim asked his daughter.
“Yeah,” She answered. “I’m okay, though.”
“You need to get some rest, Sarah.” Jim ordered. “After you check with the nurse why don’t you call Brett and have him come pick you up?”
“Maybe in a little while,” she said and Jim didn’t push the issue.
“Maybe Matty…” Sarah began.
“You mother and I talked about that,” he interrupted. “I suggested bringing him here to give Shane a reason to fight. Your mother doesn’t want Matty to see his father like that.”
“She’s probably right,” Sarah acquiesced and looked down at the shiny white floor tiles. Her father gave her hand a departing squeeze and then went in to try and comfort his wife. Sarah started toward the nurse’s station.
“Ahem,” Brett cleared his throat behind her and Sarah turned to find his blue eyes filled with concern.
“Hey, thanks for taking care of the kids,” she muttered and tried to force a smile, but the tears wouldn’t stop
“Sarah?” He asked.
“I’m fine,” she insisted and wiped her cheeks. She had almost gotten them to stop when she felt his arms around her and finally relented.
****
Sarah sat on the sofa wrapped in her bathrobe and a blanket as Brett walked into the room, a steaming cup of herbal tea in his hand. He handed it to her in silence and perched on the table in front of her. The mug warmed her hands and she took a hesitant sip.
Brett had driven her to the house and played with the kids while Sarah updated Diana and sent her home. He then must’ve rifled through the kitchen while Sarah led the kids upstairs to take baths and get into bed. She quickly changed into a T-shirt and boxers then pulled a bathrobe around her to fight off her chills. When Sarah finally made her way back to the kids’ rooms, she found them snoring softly and breathed a sigh of relief.
“I hear this helps,” he stated as he handed her the mug.
She looked up gratefully and took a hesitant sip. When the hot liquid filled her mouth, the chills finally began to subside.
“You doin’ okay, darlin’?,” he asked.
“I’m alright. Thank you,” she answered, lifting her head to meet his eyes. “I really mean that. Thank you so much.”
“You don’t need to thank me,” he said.
“Seriously, Brett, I really appreciate…” She let her voice trail off, not sure what she wanted to say. She looked down at the tea leaves swirling in her mug.
Sarah lifted her head and saw the concern in his face, got lost in the blue of his eyes. Her own filled with tears as she fought back the emotions she had tried to keep at bay all evening.
Brett quickly moved beside her on the couch, wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her head into his chest. He stroked her hair as she sobbed.
“I’m s…s..sorry,” she blubbered.
“Shhhh,” he soothed. “It’s going to be okay.”
Sarah felt the strength of his embrace, heard his heart slowly beating in his chest. She felt her own heart slow to match his rhythm as she regained her composure. She wiped her damp cheek against his shirt and tilted her head up to look at him.
“Brett?” she whispered, as the palm of his hand fit perfectly on her cheek. The heat from his touch seared her skin and she felt a rush of lava soar through her veins.
“Hmm?” he met her gaze and she felt her heart float as she drowned in the depth of his eyes.
“I uh…” she stammered as his scent penetrated her nostrils and she made herself push away. “I… uh.. need to get some aspirin.”
He moved his hands to his knees and started to get up.
“It’s okay.” She whispered. “I can get it.”
She rose on shaky legs and moved slowly to the bathroom. Closing the door behind her, she sagged against the frame.
Closing her eyes, she fought to catch her breath, struggled to stop her heart from racing. Carefully, she moved over to the sink, gripped the counter for support. She opened the medicine cabinet and retrieved a bottle of ibuprofen.
What are you doing? Your brother is in a freaking coma and you’re letting your hormones overwhelm your brain? Sarah knew what was going on. Brett had been her sole source of strength for the last 24 hours. It was only natural that some of the attraction she felt years ago would bubble to the surface. Isn’t it always in times of loss that people are propelled toward each other? Was what she was feeling just the need to prove that she was still alive?
Shoving two gelcaps in her mouth, she leaned over the sink and turned on the faucet. Drinking directly from the spout, a dribble of water flowed down her chin as she raised her head. She caught her reflection and moaned. She looked as bad as she felt. The rings under her eyes were so dark she looked like she’s put on the paint football players use to block the sun’s reflection. She splashed some cold water on her face and reached for a towel.
****
Brett watched the bathroom door close behind her and dropped his head into his hands.
What the hell are you doing? Her face seemed to be tattooed on the backs of his eyelids and he couldn’t escape it. His eyes flew open and he stared into the mirror that hung over the fireplace.
His heart pounded against his chest as he looked, through the mirror, at the spot Sarah had vacated.
She’d looked so small sitting on the sofa, curled up in a throw quilt. Looked fragile in a way he’d never seen her. He hadn’t had time to think before he moved beside her to wrap his arms around her trembling shoulders. The urgency to comfort her overtook him.
Her shoulders were still slender, her skin still soft and he felt the weight of his memories beating against the door in his mind. He’d promised himself that he would never open that door again, never subject himself to the agony he felt when he’d walked away from her so many years before.
You are only going to make things worse for her. Get the hell out of here! His mind screamed and he jumped to his feet and moved toward the foyer.
As he passed the bathroom where Sarah had retreated, he stopped in his tracks when he heard the handle turn and Sarah stood before him.
****
She opened her mouth to speak and his lips crashed down on hers. The roughness of his skin made her lips tingle and she was overcome with emotion. Her arms wrapped around his neck as he pushed his way into her mouth.
His kiss sent electricity through her and she trembled. When he pulled away, she could barely catch a breath.
“Sarah,” he whispered and she put her hand to his mouth to stop him.
“You should go,” she whispered back and forced herself to push away.
“I’m not leaving you here by yourself,” he answered as he forced his eyes away and looked at the ceiling.
He moved toward her and she stepped backwards.
“Please, Brett, just go. I can’t do this right now.”
“Go up to bed, Sarah. I’m sleeping on your couch.”
She needed to get away from him, but she didn’t have the strength to argue with him. She looked back twice as she climbed the stairs then went to bed and cried herself to sleep.
-23-
Sarah descended the stairs as quietly as she could. She wasn’t sure if she was more concerned with waking the children or Brett. Certainly, she didn’t want Lindsey to question why Brett was still there, but neither did she want to face Brett before she’d had some coffee.
It wasn’t the kiss with Brett that was rocking her. It was the feelings that erupted to the surface when she felt his mouth on hers. She’d spent years forcing any fantasies of him from her mind and last night he brought them all back in an instant. She couldn’t help her feelings of guilt, as if she’d been unfaithful to Chad and that her betrayal was even greater considering the circumstances.
She padded into the kitchen and pulled her canister of coffee from the cabinet. She put the beans in the grinder, pushed the button and cringed at the noise. For the first time ever, Sarah regretted her preference for freshly ground coffee beans.
As she poured her first cup, she heard footsteps on the staircase. Brett entered the kitchen moments later, his hair still wet from a shower.
“I’d didn’t think you’d mind,” he speculated and pointed at his damp hair.
“Not at all,” Sarah answered, her shaking voice betraying her nervousness. She fought to calm herself down. “You want a cup?”
“I can get it,” he answered as she started to stand up. “Just point me toward the mugs.”
Sarah pointed to the coffee cup sitting on the counter. “I put one out for you.”
“Thanks, darlin’,” he answered and Sarah squirmed. This was exactly what she wanted to avoid. She shouldn’t feel so awkward, so insecure, and yet she felt like she was seventeen all over again.
He took a sip of coffee and lowered himself into the chair beside Sarah. She immediately stood up and started wiping off counters. Brett seemed right at home and his level of comfort only served to accentuate Sarah’s unease.
“Do you want me to drive you back to the hospital this morning?” He asked her. “I have a meeting with Cameron so I can drop you off if you want. Either that, or I can drive you back to your parents’ house for your car.”
“Listen,” Sarah wondered about the best way to say what she needed to say. “I don’t want you to take this the wrong way, but I want you to leave.” Her words clearly caught him off guard and he visibly recoiled. She hadn’t meant to come off so harshly and softened her tone and offered an excuse. “I mean, I just don’t want the kids to realize that you spent the night. I have Chad’s car to use until I go get mine.”
“Ah, okay,” he agreed, seeing the anxiety written all over her face. “I’ll call you after I see Cameron and let you know if anything has changed.”
“That’d be great,” she forced a smile, suddenly impatient for him to leave. She needed time to sort out her feelings. Even that thought made her feel shame since he had been such a godsend after Shane’s accident. Still, she couldn’t help feeling as if a weight lifted from her shoulders when she heard the front door close.
When the kids came downstairs a few minutes later, Sarah was mentally planning her day. After Diana got there to keep the kids, she wanted to run by Shane’s to pack a bag for Matty before heading back to the hospital catch the doctors’ lunchtime rounds. Then she had to go by the office and check on things there.
Only thirty minutes later, Sarah pulled into Shane’s driveway. Using the spare key Shane had given her years before; she unlocked the deadbolt and pushed open the front door. The air was so quiet, the house already felt like a tomb. Sarah shivered at the sensation. It was only two days ago that Shane and Kristen stood in this foyer. Now Kristen was dead and Shane in a coma.
Pushing her emotions down, she trudged up the staircase and headed toward Matty’s room. She pulled a small suitcase from his closet and began filling it with clothes. It was only then that she remembered that he would have the things he wore most frequently already in a suitcase at her parents’. All of this would have been done for their trip to Florida. She decided to grab a few things anyway and quickly filled the bag.
She headed back down the stairs and did a quick walkthrough of the house to make sure all of the windows were locked. When she entered Kristen’s office, she noticed a stack of stamped envelopes sitting on the desk. Realizing they might be bills, she decided to make a quick trip by the post office. The last thing Shane needed was to come home and have his power disconnected for non-payment.
When she grabbed the pile of envelopes from the corner of the desk, she bumped another stack and papers floated to the floor. With an exasperated sigh, she leaned over and started picking up the mess.
A handwritten slip of paper caught her eye as Maggie Williams was prominently printed at the top of the page. She scanned the length of the sheet and determined that Kristen obviously doodled a lot when she talked. There was some cohesion to the words written, but there were definitely several independent blocks of thought. Clearly, these were Kristen’s notes from several telephone conversations.
Sarah’s thoughts raced and her mind considered a new possibility. She folded the sheet of paper and stuffed it into her pocket, grabbed the outgoing mail and headed for the door.
****
The afternoon sun was bright in the sky as she walked out of the hospital. The ringing of her phone had her digging through her bag. Noticing the caller ID, she hesitated before answering, but remembered that Brett had told her he would call after he left the meeting with his attorney.
“Hello?” She answered.
“Hey, are you still at the hospital?”
“I’m just leaving.”
“How’s your brother?”
“Still the same. His doctor is going to do another MRI tomorrow morning to see if the swelling in his brain has gone down. They’re hoping that when it does, he’ll wake up.”
She felt more comfortable talking to him than she’d expected. She hadn’t made much progress this morning in sorting out her feelings. She was too occupied with things much more important than her own melodrama. “What did Cameron have to say?”
“He met with the District Attorney last week, but nothing has changed. He doesn’t really expect anything to happen until my hearing in a couple of weeks. But, he did tell me that his investigator has been looking into our list.”
“Really? Did he find anything?”
“Yeah, actually. He got a copy of Chad’s cell phone records…”
“Oh,” She explained, “Samantha’s inve
stigator asked me for copies and I figured Cameron would want them as well so I faxed them a copy, too.”
“Good thinking. There were apparently quite a few calls between Chad and Michael Callaway.”
“Well,” she rationalized. “They were really good friends in high school although I hadn’t heard Chad mention Michael’s name in years.”
“Regardless, they’d been talking on the phone almost daily. He didn’t find any calls with Cole Johnson or Joey Newman. And there was one phone call about two weeks before the murder between Chad and Jimmy Gassman, but it only lasted two minutes.
“But what’s interesting is that the investigator also uncovered some information about Chad’s cousin, Courtney Jordan. When their grandfather died several years ago, most of the family was pretty upset about the will and Courtney definitely led the pack.”
“I remember when his grandfather died Chad mentioned some of his relatives were unhappy, but I assumed it was all resolved a long time ago. If memory serves, the estate wasn’t that large. I wouldn’t think it was worth an argument, but I still can’t believe Chad didn’t tell me about it.”
“According to Cameron, the estate wasn’t small. There was a trust worth a little less than $1 million.”
“What?”
“Yep, a lot of the assets were in real estate, but there was some cash as well. Chad was the trustee and was in charge of disbursements to the other beneficiaries. They sued him earlier this year, accused him of breaching his fiduciary duties over some botched real estate deal. The judge ruled in Chad’s favor a week before the murder.”
“I can’t believe Chad never told me any of this,” Sarah said, stunned.
“You know, it was only a couple of years ago that Courtney rented the house, maybe this was her back up plan in case the judge sided with Chad.”
“I still think that’s a stretch,” she cautioned. “I’ve met Courtney a few times and, quite frankly, she doesn’t seem that smart or that organized. Besides, why would it occur to her to set you up? She was ahead of us in school. Most likely she never heard anything about you and me.”
Killer Desires Page 19