“What you had done? You mean lying to me about my child? You mean not telling me we had a baby girl? Keeping her away from me for almost two years? What? You were angry with me because you thought I had some other girl in California so you decided to take your ball home and not play with me anymore? She’s not a fucking toy, Nik. She’s a child who needed her daddy.” His arms flail through the air as he snaps off the list of contemptible things I’ve done to him.
“No. I wasn’t angry…I was…” I reach out to him and take a step toward him.
Dalt throws his hands up to block my touch. “Oh. No. That’s right. You were scared. So scared, that last night when I was buried inside you or this morning when we were discussing our future, you still couldn’t bring yourself to tell me I had a kid.”
“Dalt, please.” I reach for him again. My eyes are liquid with tears. His face has become a hazy blur.
“No, Nik.” He backs away from me, this time grabbing the handle of his car door. “I love you. I do,” his voice softens and my heart makes a hopeful leap. “But ,” and with one word it crashes down to my toes, “you lied to me. Not just lied. This is the biggest, most hurtful deception I could ever imagine. And not only hurtful to me, you also hurt Chloe by keeping me out of her life. Christ. I thought this kind of shit only happens in some bad movie or cheesy novel.” He pulls his car door open and it feels like the air is being sucked out of my lungs.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Stay. Please.”
“I can’t. I need some time to figure things out. I have to go to California for a few days to help Garrett work this shit out with my father. I’ll…I’ll call you.” He slides in behind the steering wheel.
“But…but Chloe.”
“I’ll be here for Chloe. No matter what.” He slams the door closed.
Wake up, Nikki. Just wake up. This isn’t happening. This can’t be happening.
Dalt’s tear-filled eyes stay locked with mine for a moment. He places the palm of his hand flat against the window glass and mouths the words, “Bye, baby.” His car circles in the driveway around me.
Raindrops begin to fall. I drop my head back to let them splash on the heat of my swollen face. When I lift my head and see the back of Dalt’s car disappear out the gate at the end of our driveway, my legs give out from under me.
“You promised you would never leave me again,” I whisper from my kneeling position before collapsing onto the gravel.
CHAPTER
TWENTY-SIX
Dalt
“I don’t give a fuck if the motherfucker rots in jail. Do you know what he did? He deserves to rot in hell. Jail’s too good for him.”
I was supposed to be the one calming Garrett down after the shit hit the fan with my father, but now that I know exactly how thoroughly he managed to fuck up Nikki’s, Chloe’s and my life, I can’t do anything but think about how much I want to punch my father’s fucking face in.
I spent five hours on the private jet Garrett sent for me going over it and over it in my head. At one point I was so upset, Cindy, our flight attendant asked if she could get me a Xanax. I didn’t take it because I don’t want to feel calm. I want to face the bastard with every ounce of wrath I’ve been holding inside for him for all these years. If they hadn’t already carted his sorry ass off to jail, they’d be picking up the pieces of him to arrest.
“I know,” Garrett says apologetically from the leather executive office chair behind my father’s massive hand carved mahogany desk. The pretentious prick had it shipped from overseas, claiming it would impress his business partners.
“What do you mean you know? You know what he did to Nikki?”
I can’t believe what I’m hearing. I thought Garrett had my back. Why didn’t he tell me?
He shrugs. “He told me she was a gold digger. Just some skank trying to get into your pockets.”
“Just some skank? I told you I was in love with her. I poured my heart out to you. How could you let him do this?”
“Dad said she—”
“Nikki! Her name is Nikki.”
“Yes. Nikki.”
“She was pregnant for fuck’s sake. If he knew she was pregnant, he wouldn’t—”
“He knew.”
“What did you say?” My eyes narrow as I try to glare a hole right through my brother’s head.
“He knew she was pregnant. He’d been having her followed for weeks. He knew when she visited the ObGyn. His guy paid off one of the secretaries to get her records.”
I come around the desk to stand next to him. “You sonovabitch! How could you go along with your motherfucking father on this?” I grab him by his two-hundred-dollar shirt collar and pull him out of the chair. “You knew she was pregnant and you let him do that to her?” He hooks his hands around my arms to try to get me to stop shaking him.
“He’s your father too,” he chokes out.
“He’s never been a father to anyone. He doesn’t know the meaning of the word father. He’s just a sperm donor.” I jerk him like there’s a chance I can rattle some sense into his stupid head. “And you! You didn’t even have the decency to tell me she had my kid?” I throw him back down into the chair.
“Dalt, for chrissakes calm the hell down.”
“Calm down? I should punch every one of those fucking veneers out of your backstabbing fucking mouth.” I run my hands through my hair to keep me from using them to bloody my own brother’s face.
“He said the baby wasn’t yours!” He yells over my rant. “Dad said she was spreading her legs for every jock in the school.”
That’s when I do it. For the first time in our lives I punch my brother in the face with every ounce of hatred I ever held for my father.
“Jesus Christ, Dalt. I think you broke my damn nose,” he cries in a muffled whine, pinching his nose to try to stop the bleeding.
“I was in love with her, shithead. We were in love with each other. She never cheated on me and Chloe looks exactly like me. It’s like staring into a mirror!”
“Chloe?” he squeaks through his hand which is still covering his bloody face.
“Chloe. My baby girl, you asshole! I gotta get outta here.”
I’ll call Dak. I need to vent or I’m going to explode. But when I pull my phone from my pocket and push the button the screen doesn’t light up. Shit. My phone’s dead. I forgot to recharge it on the plane.
“I don’t care what you do about the scumbag or the business,” I inform my Judas brother as I head toward the door.
I’m crushed by his betrayal. I’ve lost my best friend in the world—my two best friends, all in one day.
“Hire one of his million-dollar lawyers to take the case. But I hope you, him, and your whole fucking empire go up in flames.”
“You mean she kept the baby?” He grimaces when he moves his hand off his face.
Yep. By the looks of it I broke his fucking nose. He’s lucky I don’t keep going and break the rest of his traitorous bones.
“He told me she took the money and got rid of the baby.”
“Tell me something, Garrett. How can you be such a complete dumbass when it comes to our father and yet be such a successful businessman?”
“Fuck. I didn’t know. Dalt, I didn’t know. I swear. I’m so sorry, bro,” I hear him say to the back of the door as I slam it behind me.
CHAPTER
TWENTY-SEVEN
Nikki
The sound of rain pummeling the roof jolts me out of my sleep. My head is throbbing. I blink at the ceiling a few times and remember I’m home at the farmhouse, but I don’t remember getting in bed. The bedcovers are tucked around me. I breathe a sigh of relief. It was a dream, more like a nightmare. Either way, everything is okay now. I’m awake. I’ll go back to Dalt’s house and tell him about Chloe. He’ll understand.
When I roll onto my side, I’m startled to see my mom sitting in the rocking chair in the corner of the room. Her head is tilted to one side and she’s making gentle snoring noises. She h
asn’t fallen asleep sitting in my room since I was a child sick with the flu and she insisted on staying there all night in case I woke up and needed anything. Or…wait…no, the last time she slept here was when I came home from school after my encounter with Dalt’s father and I was a basket case. I couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, almost couldn’t breathe. She’d stayed in my room every night for a week.
I glance around the room once more and realize it’s not morning. It’s dark except for the soccer ball nightlight plugged into one of the outlets. Throwing back the covers, I find I’m still in the same clothes I was in when I came to the farm; the same clothes I was wearing in my nightmare. Mom is still in the same clothes she was wearing. I touch my eyes. They’re burning and my head throbs harder now that I’m sitting up. Oh God. It wasn’t a dream. I gasp and the sound jolts my mom out of her uncomfortable slumber.
“Nikki? What are you doing, honey? Do you need something? How about some water? Let me get you some water.” She pushes herself up from the rocker.
“No. I’m…how did I get up here?” I whisper because even the soft sound of my words pound inside of my head like a hammer.
“Matt carried you up. He found you sobbing on the ground in the middle of the driveway. You cried yourself to sleep.” She sits on the edge of the bed next to me and strokes my hair. Her touch is soothing. I close my eyes and revel in her comfort. “Give him some time, sweetheart. With everything you told me about Dalt when you were dating, I’m sure he’s a good man and he loves you. He’ll come back to you and Chloe.”
My eyes pop open when I hear his name. “What time is it? I have to go.” I jump off my bed, run out my bedroom door, and down the stairs, taking two steps at a time.
“Go? Go where? Nikki it’s the middle of the night and it’s pouring out.” Mom races down the stairs behind me.
I grab a rain jacket off of one of the hooks and pick up my backpack and keys from the spot where I dropped them when I came in.
“Can you watch Chloe for me, Mom? I know I was supposed to be here over break but I have to go. I have to see him before he leaves for California.”
“How do you know he hasn’t left already? It’s been hours since he was here.”
“I’ll call him on the way to check, ask him to wait for me.” I lean in and kiss her on the cheek. “I have to try, Mom. I said all the things today except the most important one. I didn’t tell him how much I love him.”
“Wait. Let me get Matt to go with you. The weather is miserable.”
“It’s okay, Mom. I’ll be fine. I’ll call you when I get to Dalt’s. Kiss Chloe for me.” I hesitate before running out the door. “And thanks, Mom for always being there for me.”
“Be careful, sweetheart, and call me as soon as you get there. I don’t care what time it is.” She wraps me in one of her big warm hugs and I hug her in return. I don’t want to worry her, but I can’t wait another second. I have to get to Dalt before he leaves.
I don’t know what came over me. I’m stronger than this. Instead of simpering like a little girl, I should have simply stood my ground. Yes, I may have kept the significant knowledge of his having a daughter from him. A horrible, terrible mistake, I admit. But I was a pregnant woman on a mission to protect her child from his monster father, and as far as I knew at the time, from him too. Yes, I may have wasted two years of our lives together being a doubting fool, but does it mean we should throw away the rest of our lives together? Waste even more time? We have a beautiful little girl who needs us. He’s just going to have to get past his hurt and anger and whatever other unconstructive emotions is getting in our way because dammit, we love each other and—to use his own words—we belong together. That’s what I should have said long before now and what I’m going to say when I see him tonight.
I start up the engine. Before shifting into drive, I pull up Dalt’s number and press the call button. The call goes straight to his voicemail. Either his phone is turned off or he’s blocking my calls. I press end call but hit redial just to be sure. Straight to voicemail. I’m hesitant to leave a message, but since I have an hour drive back to Bar Harbor I decide to leave one to let him know I’m coming. Hopefully he hasn’t blocked me and he’ll get it. He might delay his trip to California if he knows I’m on my way.
“Dalt, it’s me…Nikki.”
Stupid. Of course he knows it’s you.
“Um, anyway. I hope you haven’t left yet. If you haven’t…um…please don’t leave yet. Please wait. I’m on my way back to your house. I…I love you…so much. Please, just wait for me.”
I hit end call, shift into drive, and skid out of the wet driveway.
The things I want to say to him repeat inside my head as I push down on the gas pedal. The rain is coming down even harder now. I blink rapidly a few times and squint like it will help to improve my visibility. Cranking the speed of the windshield wipers to high, I try not to dwell on any negative thoughts like: Dalt hasn’t tried to call me in hours, he hasn’t returned my call, even though I only left the message a few minutes ago. Or he’s turned off his phone, or blocked my number because he doesn’t want to get any calls from me.
Sunlight is just beginning to glow over the horizon when the curve in the road looms in front of me. The thought flashes across my mind, you’re going too fast to take this curve. I hear the screech of my tires right before the world turns upside down and everything goes black.
CHAPTER
TWENTY-EIGHT
Dalt
“Stop. Just stop talking.” Dak holds up a hand to stop the verbal vomit I’m spewing all over Tracey, Alex, and him as I pace. They’re sitting on lounge chairs around Dak’s pool at his parents’ Malibu beach house. Up until now no one had said a word, too dumbstruck by my story. Batt and Wolfe are missing my tirade. Batt met some chick on the beach today and they’re somewhere giving each other ‘surfing’ lessons and Wolfe is getting an actual surfing lesson from Heaven, Dak’s little sister.
“Are you telling us you have a kid?” Dak asks.
“Oh my God.” Tracey beams. “I’m an auntie.”
“Oh, my fucking word. You and Nikki have a baby girl? She must be a little goddess,” Alex swoons.
“Congratulations, dude!” Dak walks over and lifts my hand to shake it.
“What the hell are you guys talking about? You’re missing the whole point here. Yes, I have a baby girl. But my father and my brother cooked up this whole scheme to break me and Nikki up, even though they knew she was pregnant. And Nikki lied to me for two years and didn’t tell me about Chloe all that time. I’ve had a daughter for two years and she didn’t tell me!”
“Aww, Chloe. Gorg name.” Alex nods his approval.
“You’re father’s a fucked-up mess,” Dak says. “Sorry, dude. But it’s not like you haven’t known that since you were a kid. Now, Garret’s another story. I’m not sure how he falls for your father’s evildoings time after time. You know he’s always had blinders on when it comes to dear old dickhead dad. Who cares about them now? Where’s Nikki and Chloe? You guys can stay here while you’re dealing with the rest of the shit with your father.”
That’s it? Congratulations? I’m an auntie? ‘Gorg’ name? That’s their words of wisdom and sympathy at how horrific my family and Nikki have treated me?
“Yeah. Where is the sneaky little thing? I knew I recognized the little girl in her drawings. I just didn’t put two and two hundred together on how she’s the spitting image of you, Dalt. Nik is so going to hear about keeping my beautiful little niece from me,” Tracey laughs and waggles a finger. “Where is she hiding to keep me from giving her a piece of my mind?”
“Uh…um…Nik’s not here.”
“What do you mean she’s not here? Where is she?” Alex blinks a couple of times, waiting for my clever answer as to why the love of my life, the mother of my child, and said child, aren’t here with me.
“She’s…they’re in Winter Harbor at her farm. I…I kind of left them there.” As I stutter
through my answer the reality of what I’ve done occurs to me: I left Nikki—the woman I professed unending love for just the day before—crying as I drove away from her. And I let someone take my baby girl, whose first two years of life I was absent for, out of my arms and walk away.
“What do you mean you kind of left them there?” Tracey stands up and gives me a narrow-eyed glare.
“I…I was hurt, pissed off.” I run a hand down the back of my neck. “She lied to me for fuck’s sake about my kid! What was I supposed to do, say no biggie? Not a problem. I had a kid for two years and you kept her a secret.”
“You fucking asshat. You were hurt? You were pissed off?” Dak mimics me in a whiny voice. “What are you, a thirteen-year-old girl?” He shoves me in the shoulder. “You’re an even bigger pussy than I thought you were when you wouldn’t kiss Susie Akers at her tenth birthday party when the bottle pointed to you.” He shoves me again.
“What the fuck, man?”
“I’ll tell you what the fuck, man. Nikki is a one in a million lady,” Alex chimes in. “If I was playing for her team I would have stepped in and stolen her away from your tight, fine ass a long time ago.” He snaps his fingers.
“Dalt, she’s crazy in love with you.” Tracey’s voice softens. “And what about Chloe?”
“I’ll tell you what the fuck else,” Dak snarls his two cents. “You’ve been madly in love with Nikki ever since the first day you laid eyes on her. All the guys knew it. We watched you fuck around with bunnies just to try to get over her and saw the way you got all irate and miserable every time you saw her with another guy. Are you going to let your douchebag father get in the way of everything you’ve wanted since you met her, you big dumbass? Are you going to be complicit in his scheme to keep you separated from the love of your life and your kid?”
I let out a big stream of air and drop my chin to my chest. The weight of my stupid, empty head is too much to hold up for one more second. They’re right, of course. I told Nikki yesterday I couldn’t live without her and I meant it. I already knew my father had messed with her head big time, but even then, I didn’t realize how evil he could be. Why the fuck am I taking it out on her and Chloe?
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