by Jennie Marts
He didn’t explain the events of that night or tell her what happened, instead focusing on how hard it had been for him to walk away from her, and how he had done it for her because he loved her and only wanted her to have the best life she could have.
A knock sounded at the door as she clutched the letter to her chest. “Who is it?” she asked, not sure if she was hoping it would be Trip or not.
“It’s Ryan.”
Ryan? What was he doing here? Still holding the letter, she crossed the room and opened the door.
Her brother’s smile fell as he took in her tear-stained cheeks, and he held open his arms.
Stepping into them, she pressed her cheeks to his solid chest and let the tears come. She cried for the wasted years, the missed chances, and to let out some of the pain she’d kept trapped in her heart.
Her poor brother didn’t know what he was getting into when he stopped by. She was sure he hadn’t anticipated his sister breaking down and bawling at the sight of him.
She pulled back, wiping her cheeks with the back of her hand. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to do that. Come on in.”
He closed the door as she sat back down on the bed, leaning against the headboard and crushing one of the denim-covered throw pillows to her chest. “Did you see him?”
They both knew whom she was talking about.
“Yeah. I just talked to him in the barn.” With a heavy sigh, he sank onto the end of the bed. “I suppose that’s why you’re up here crying. He said you told him to get out.”
She nodded and passed him the letter. “That was before I found this.”
He read the letter, his shoulders sinking as he passed it back to her. “So, what are you going to do?”
“I don’t know. I don’t get it. I mean, this letter is beautiful and says everything I always wanted to hear. Except I feel like there is still something missing. There has to be more to the story. I just feel like there is still something he’s not saying.”
“So what? So what if there is? What does it matter? You haven’t seen the guy in over a decade. How can this still be so important to you? Why can’t you just let it go?”
He had a point. Why couldn’t she let it go? Up until a few days ago, she’d been living her life just fine without Trip Turner.
But had she? Had she, really? Or had she continued to never get involved with anyone because she couldn’t trust that they wouldn’t leave her?
Maybe she’d been waiting for Trip to come back all along.
“Because I still love him,” she said, her words soft and carrying the weight of the truth in them.
“If you love him, then just be with him. Why do you have to go back and dig up all this stuff from the past?”
“Because being with him, really being with him, means I have to let myself trust him. And to trust him—to really believe in him—I have to know the truth.”
Ryan ran a hand through his hair and turned to her, turmoil and grief evident in his eyes. “He won’t. He’s never going to tell you what happened that night.”
“Why not?”
“Because I made him promise not to.”
“You? What? Why?” Confusion filled her. “What are you talking about? I mean, I know you were at the party, but what does that have to do with anything?”
He blew out a breath and shook his head. “I wasn’t just at the party. I was there, in the car with you during the accident.”
“No, you weren’t. You stayed at the party. Trip told me.”
“Trip lied. And he’s been lying ever since.” A look of anguish crossed Ryan’s face. “I saw Trip the night of the accident, and afterwards. He told me the whole story. I visited him in jail a couple of times, before he came here. I know everything about what happened that night. And I know I should have told you sooner. But I just couldn’t. I wanted to. So many times. But I couldn’t.”
A sinking feeling settled in her stomach. Trip had lied. Her brother had lied. What the hell had happened that was worth a decade of deceit and the destruction of her heart?
She steeled herself for the truth. “None of that matters. You need to tell me. Tell me what happened. Now.”
Chapter Eight
Graduation Night – Twelve Years Ago
It happened in an instant. One second changed everything. A few feet of wet blacktop, a dark night, and a curve taken too quickly—the ingredients for disaster.
The crash happened so fast, in an instant, but an instant was enough. Enough to change all of their lives. Change and possibly destroy.
The night had started out so great. Graduation from high school, future plans, and the prettiest girl he knew—the only girl Trip had ever loved—by his side. It felt like he had it all.
They’d gone to a party out at the lake, and Bre hadn’t wanted to drink. But he’d persuaded her, telling her it was for a special occasion, the start of their new lives.
That night had been the start of a new life for him, but it wasn’t the one he’d been planning, and it was a life without her in it.
They’d all been drinking, him, Bre, and Ryan. They were young, and stupid, and thought they were invincible. None of them were experienced drinkers, and it had only taken a few beers each to impair their judgment. When it was time to go home, he realized that Bre had drunk more than he originally thought. He had to practically carry her to the car, and she either passed out or fell asleep on the back seat.
Ryan had borrowed their dad’s car for the night, and he didn’t listen when Trip had suggested they wait it out, sleep it off a bit, before they headed back to town. Instead Ryan had rolled down the windows, turned up the stereo, and floored the accelerator, taking the turns of the country roads too fast.
Loose gravel and slower reactions contributed to the accident as Ryan misjudged the sharpness of the corner, coming around it with too much speed, and losing control of the vehicle.
The screech of metal was deafening as they slid along the guardrail then rocketed into a field when the railing ended, and crashed head-on into a tree.
Trip’s head snapped back from the impact of the airbag deploying, and he felt like he’d been hit in the face with a baseball bat. A chemical smell permeated the car, and he coughed as the thick airbag powder filled the air. Pain radiated through his skull, and he was pretty sure his nose had broken.
Jerking around in panic, he called out Bre’s name.
Thankfully he’d belted her into the back seat, but her body had still flown forward, as evidenced by the gaping gash across her forehead. Her eyes were closed, and she slumped against her seatbelt, either unconscious from the impact or passed out. A thin stream of blood spilled down the side of her face as he tried to scramble over the seat to reach her.
“Oh shit,” Ryan said, leaning his head back against the headrest. He looked around the car then his voice took on a more panicked, frantic tone. “Oh shit. Oh shit. Are you okay? Is Bre okay? Is she hurt?”
“I’m okay.”
“No you’re not. You’re bleeding, dude.” Ryan’s eyes were wild as he looked back at his sister then clutched at Trip’s shirt. “She’s bleeding too. Oh no. Oh shit. This can’t be happening. My dad is going to kill me.”
“Calm down. It was an accident. Your dad will just be glad you guys are okay.”
“No, he won’t. He doesn’t give a shit about that. I wrecked his car. And I hurt my sister. He’s seriously gonna kill me. I’ve been drinking. Shit, I was drinking and driving. I’m gonna go to jail. I’m gonna lose my scholarship.” His voice went from shrill panic to a desperate whine.
“No, you’re not,” Trip said, the words coming out of his mouth before he could stop them. “Because no one’s going to know you were driving. Or even here.”
Ryan’s head snapped toward him, a glimmer of hope visible in his eyes. “What do you mean? How will they not know?”
“Because you’re not going to be here. You’re not going to be found in the car.” Trip didn’t know why he was doing it, other than
that Ryan was one of his best friends, and he knew that the damage the accident would do to Ryan’s life was a lot worse than what it would do to his. “Get out of the car. Now. Before the cops show up. It’s been over an hour since I had a beer. I’ll say I was driving.”
“No way. I can’t let you do that.” But Ryan’s refusal was weak, and he was already reaching for the handle of the door.
“Yes, you can. Now go. I’ll use Bre’s phone to call for help. So you need to be long gone before they get here.” Trip was already leaning over the seat and reaching for Bre’s purse. “Cut through the trees and walk back to town. I’ll catch up with you later.”
“Thanks, dude. I owe you big for this. Take care of my sister,” Ryan said, then slipped out the door and stumbled into the trees next to the road.
Before Trip could find the phone, an elderly couple had pulled over and offered to help. He got Bre into the back seat of their car, and she came around as they drove to the hospital.
When she blearily asked if Ryan was okay, he told her that her brother had stayed behind at the party. She was just groggy enough to accept his answer and close her eyes again.
And that was all it took to start the deception that would change his whole life.
And hers.
They’d taken them to separate areas at the emergency room, and that was the last he’d seen her. He was checked out by a doctor, and except for some minor scrapes and bruises, he was declared fine.
He tried desperately to find out how Bre was doing, but was only told to stay in the family waiting room. Which was where Bre’s dad found him.
To say that her dad was angry was an understatement. He didn’t like Trip to begin with, had never thought he was good enough for his daughter. The accident and the fact that he thought Trip had been drinking and behind the wheel of his car only added fuel to the fire.
“Do you realize you could have killed her?” Mr. Wilson screamed at him.
“Yes, sir,” was all Trip could manage as he hung his head in shame.
Because it was true.
Even if he hadn’t been driving the car, he’d brought Bre to the party, encouraged her to have a beer, and he should have tried harder to keep Ryan from getting behind the wheel. Yeah, he was just as responsible.
“I knew you were bad news,” her father continued. “I knew it from the first time I looked at you. But Bre cared about you—was blind to what I saw—so I let you two go out. But no more. I don’t want you anywhere near my daughter. Bre has a future, a chance to make something of her life. But not with the likes of you bringing her down.”
His words held a ring of truth, substantiating all of Trip’s insecurities. He knew he wasn’t good enough for a girl like Bre, knew that she was smarter and had the capabilities to really make something of herself.
“I don’t want to hurt her,” he said.
Bre’s father ignored his words and continued to rail. “You say you don’t want to, but you already have. She’s lying in a hospital bed. No good will come to her by being around you. Can’t you see what you’re doing to her? What are you going to do—follow her to college? Try to find a crappy job while she goes to school?”
That was exactly what they’d planned. Although he’d hoped to avoid the crappy job and find something that paid a decent wage. They’d checked out cheap apartments, and he’d been looking for work, but he already knew that he wouldn’t be able to support her in the way she was used to.
It had all sounded so different when Bre and he were planning it. More romantic, like it was the two of them against the world. But her dad was outlining the harsh reality of their dreams, and Trip’s stomach was going queasy at the thought that the words held a certain amount of truth to them.
“You know you’re going to jail for this, don’t you?”
Trip’s head snapped up. Jail? What? He figured he’d get a ticket or a fine, which he would just get Ryan to pay.
“Bre is still a child. She’s only seventeen. And I know you were drinking and driving—I can’t smell the beer on you from here.” Her dad’s face was red with fury as he pointed a finger at Trip’s chest. “I will press charges against you and see that you are prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. Then you’ll have no choice but to stay away from my daughter.”
As if he’d conjured them, two policemen walked into the waiting room.
Their future flashed before Trip’s eyes—him going to jail and Bre waiting for him, putting her own dreams on hold for him. Even if she went on to college, what kind of life would she have being married to a convicted felon?
As much as he hated to admit it, Bre’s dad was right. He was no good for her. He would only drag her down.
The police questioned him about the accident and administered a Breathalyzer test. He hadn’t been drinking as much as the other two, and he fell within the legal limits of alcohol, but he was still ticketed with the reckless endangerment, handcuffed, and taken to the police station.
He already had a few petty crimes under his belt, and he knew his chances of getting sent to juvenile detention this time were pretty good.
As he was taken from the hospital, he walked by the room where Bre was and caught one last glimpse of her. She was the only girl he had ever loved, and he knew he would do anything to protect her, to give her every chance at finding the future that she deserved.
Even if it meant letting her go.
Bre stared at her brother. She couldn’t believe it. “Are you sure? How do you know all of this?”
“Because he told me the whole story. More than once.” Ryan’s voice was filled with shame and embarrassment. “I know I shouldn’t have let him take the blame. And I tried like hell to get Dad to drop the charges. But every time I saw how furious Dad was with Trip, I knew that his fury would be aimed at me if I came forward and told him the truth. I was a dumb kid. I was scared and stupid. And now I’m just ashamed and embarrassed.”
She blinked, still in shock at the things he’d just told her. “So Trip was really a hero?” And not just the heartbreaker jerk that she’d made him out to be all these years.
“Yeah. He saved me. Literally saved my life. Gave me a chance at having a life. Of going to college, having a career.” He looked at her, his expression full of sorrow and pleas for forgiveness. “I’m sorry, Bre. I hate myself. I always have.”
“Why didn’t you ever tell me?” Anger sparked in her belly. “Why the hell didn’t you ever tell me? It would have changed everything.”
“I know. That’s why I couldn’t tell you. I was afraid. Afraid you would hate me. Afraid you would tell. Afraid that if the truth came out, my life would be ruined. I was a kid, stupid and selfish.”
“So why are you telling me now?”
“Because I love you. Because I owe Trip. I didn’t know you guys still cared about each other. I didn’t know how much this was hurting you both. We were kids. I thought you’d just move on with your life. Find a nice guy, settle down, have kids, and forget all about Trip. But you didn’t. And, I guess, neither did he. And then it got to the point where it was too late. And I knew if I told you now that you would hate me, and you’re the only person that I have left in my life that thinks I’m worth a damn.”
Her anger deflated like a burst balloon as she heard the torture and grief in his voice. He’d carried this secret around for years, and she could see now how it had shaped his life, how the shame of letting someone else take the blame and the punishment for his sins had torn him up and affected everything in his life.
“Trip wanted to tell you. He practically begged me to let him tell you. But I made him swear that he wouldn’t. Damn it, I know it’s wrong, but this stupid election is all I have left in my life right now. And I was afraid that if he told you, there was a chance the story would leak and ruin my chance at being governor.”
He hung his head in humiliation. “Can you ever forgive me?”
She dropped the pillow and scooted toward him on the bed. Wrapping her
arms around him, she hugged her brother. “I won’t tell anyone, I swear. I wouldn’t ever want to do anything that would screw up your career. And yes, I can forgive you. I already have. I’m not happy about it, but we can’t change what’s already happened.”
And she didn’t have to let it control her future.
Joy sparked in her chest. She didn’t have to let it control the life that she could have. Could have with Trip.
“Do you know where Trip is now?” she asked. “Is he still in the barn?”
“I doubt it. He told me he was working on some stuff with getting his place in Wyoming settled and said he needed to go into town to work on the closing with his realtor. I think he’s using Stan Realty. Why?”
She stood and kissed her brother on top of the head. “Because I’m tired of living in the past and letting old mistakes rule my future. I’m going to find him and tell him that I still love him.”
Her brother laughed. “Okay. Good for you. Does that mean you’re moving to Wyoming?”
“Maybe. I guess. Yes. I’ll do whatever it takes. I don’t care if I’m in Wyoming, or Montana, or Timbuktu, as long as I’m with Trip.”
She considered the possibility as she hurried to her truck and drove into town. Parking in front of Stan Realty, she checked her reflection in the mirror. Eek. She probably should have taken the time to wash her face.
Taking a minute to collect her thoughts, she grabbed a half-empty bottle of water from her cup holder and poured a little onto a napkin. After quickly washing her face, she finger-combed her hair and found a packet of mints in the bottom of her purse.
She got out of the truck, but paused as she stepped up onto the sidewalk. She’d been so anxious to get here, but now found herself stalling to go in. What if Trip didn’t want a life with her? What if she went barging in and threw herself at him, and he didn’t catch her?
He was still working on the deal in Wyoming, which made it pretty clear that he had no intention of staying anyway.
Before she could completely talk herself out of getting back in the pickup and driving away, the door of the realtor’s office opened and Trip walked out, carrying a manila envelope.