by Hammond, T.
With final goodbyes, the small family wandered away. Bastian and I sat on the bench Emily vacated and Red directed his attention to the kids on the slide. As usual, my kid magnet was soon covered in sticky fingers and loving every minute of the attention.
Chapter Eighteen
Half an hour later, we managed to tear Red away from the playground with promises we'd stop by the slide again before we left the park. Bas led us to a quiet spot where we spread out our blanket and he started pulling food from the picnic bag. While Bas arranged our lunch, I rifled through the backpack for Red's dish and a bottle of water, setting it on the grass a couple of feet away from the blanket so Red wouldn't splash us with his enthusiastic slurping. I left the half-filled bottle by his dish, anticipating I'd probably have to refill the bowl before we were done eating.
We enjoyed baked chicken, crunchy veggies with a ranch dip, and an assortment of meats and cheeses. Most of the weight had been in the bottles of flavored water Ken included for us. We topped off our meal with homemade peanut butter cookies from a batch I remember he’d made a few days ago. Ken must have had them hidden somewhere secret because they would have disappeared had I known there were any in the house. I'd have to utilize Red's tracking skills to go on a cookie quest when we got home.
Bas cleared the blanket and stretched out on his side, pulling me backward to sit back against the cradle of his hips. There was clearly no sexual intent; it was simply a comfortable position so we could talk. His hand idly stroked the fabric of my shirt at the curve of my waist.
“Did you know it was weeks before I got Janey's messages about your accident? I was overseas again and I think it was the week of Christmas when I was finally able to check email. I was in some remote areas on and off for over a month; we didn't have computers available for personal stuff. I had over a dozen emails from Janey waiting. The morning you were injured, she sent me pictures of the tree struck by lightning. Damn, Teresa, there was almost nothing left of it. Janey ended up cutting the rest of it down for firewood.
“A day later, she emailed me pictures of the injuries to your face. I was horrified at what you'd gone through. Janey explained, at that time, it was expected you would probably lose the right eye, although you had already lost sight in both. I was so relieved when she emailed her update letting me know the doctors were able to save it; although, it’s a miracle—the damage had been so extensive.”
He ran his hand up and down my back, more, I think, to comfort himself than me. “Janey let me know about every step of your recovery. I was tempted to get leave from... err, where I was, and come home, but she told me I would be more detrimental than helpful. So, I followed your progress through the pictures and letters she emailed to me.”
I relaxed more into Bastian's body, and sighed. “She's right. I think it would have been too stressful on top of everything else. I appreciate you were concerned, but you did the best thing for me by not being around when I was feeling so disoriented and defenseless.”
Red crawled onto the blanket and dropped his head into my lap. “I'm glad you're okay.” I smiled and stroked his coat. There was something comforting about thick fur, and the warmth of the dog's weight on my legs.
Bas rested his hand against the curve of my hip. He acknowledged quietly, “I agree it was for the best. I've had too much frustrated anger in me. I probably would have said something stupid the first minute I saw you.”
“You think?” I teased, looking toward him with a grin. “You mean something stupid like what you said yesterday in Janey's vehicle?”
He groaned dramatically and admitted, “Yeah. Probably.”
“You wouldn't have wanted to be there. I was a wreck, Bas. It took me a long time to get over being angry at the loss of my sight.” I sighed as I thought back to those first few weeks. “It was such a stupid accident. I mean, who gets hit by an exploding tree? I was the victim of a freak mishap; it was so unfair.”
My hand must have stopped stroking because Red head-butted my arm gently to restart the petting. I ruffled his ear and scratched between his eyes. “Oh, yeah,” he uttered, blissfully.
“I have replayed those ten seconds a thousand times in my head, trying to imagine what I could have done differently. What would have happened if I hadn't looked back? That's what I think of most often, Bastian. Would it have been worse if I hadn't been looking over my shoulder—like damage to my spine? Is blindness the lesser of two bad results?”
Bas tightened his arm around my waist, pulling me into a half-hug. “It’s like you said, an accident. There is no logic, no avoidance, and no second-guessing.” He pressed a soft kiss to my arm, the only piece of skin he could reach from his lounging position. “I wish we had been at a point where you would have welcomed me at your side when you were hurt.”
“Don't take this the wrong way, Bastian, but I wasn't really welcoming anybody. I took a two month pity party vacation and I didn't want anyone around me.” My laugh sounded forced, even to me. “Janey wasn't having any of it, of course, but she's the only one I wanted to talk to when I was in the hospital.”
I hugged myself as if warding off a chill. “If nothing else, I'm so thankful my body blocked Janey. She was probably far enough away, but the thought of her hurt has given me a few nightmares. Another of my 'what if' scenarios.”
“I had a few nightmares myself,” Bas confessed.
I paused to consider my words, “Yesterday, I think we reached a point where we are no longer enemies. I do not have an irrational fear of you, and trust me I know it was irrational. I kinda like you, actually. You're smart, attractive, humorous, and you have more empathy than the young man I remember. I think we are on the way to being friends, rather than acquaintances.”
“Where do you get the 'attractive' from? You have no idea what I look like anymore,” Bas protested, with a friendly bump of his hip bone.
“Attractive isn't necessarily about good looks, Bastian. Attraction is a quality which draws one person to another. It could be visual, mental, physical, even emotional, but probably a combination of different things. We both know attraction is a relative emotion. Your voice, your confidence, and yeah, your cockiness, as well as your loving attitude toward Janey, and your ability to make and maintain friendships, all combine into making you an attractive person. The more I talk with you, the more I like the man you've become.”
“Thank you,” he replied, softly. “Not to make excuses, but I've behaved badly because I have been frustrated at every turn when I’ve tried to make you stop and see me. I’ve waited fifteen years for you, and it kills me you can never look into my face and see the potential of me. I’ve wanted you to experience the same epiphany I had. To look up and see a man deserving of time and effort.”
“I do see you as a person worthy of my time. Truthfully, though, I can't imagine I will ever get to a place where I see you as more than a friend.” This was so hard, mainly because I really did like this older and wiser Bas. “On one level, I recognize how sexy you are, and I feel a pull toward you. On another, I believe you're wasting time if you hope I will have the revelation you're waiting for. I want to spend time with you and hang out, but I think you need to look elsewhere for a more romantic or physical relationship. I don't want to lead you on if you want more than I'm willing to give.”
“You're all I've really ever wanted, Teresa. For fifteen years, it’s been only you.”
“No Bas, if it had been only me you wanted, you would not have screwed Sherry on the counter. If I was the woman you really wanted, if you truly did 'see me' like you claim, you should not have been interested in scratching an itch with someone else.” My voice gentled, “If you really wanted me, you would have waited for me.”
“I admitted, I was stupid,” he grumbled at me.
“I think when I was fifteen, you saw the possibility of a ‘you and me,’ and over time, you built it up into more than it is. If there had been a possibility for the two of us, I think we missed the window.”
&n
bsp; Bastian’s tone was frustrated, but controlled, “And, I don't think you're keeping an open mind. I think your attention is being split between two men.”
Red lifted his head off my leg and barked, “Alpha is here!”
“Speak of the devil,” Bas said, under his breath.
I laughed, “David is here? Ah, Bas, you have no one to blame, but yourself. You hijacked our date. You should have known he'd return the favor.”
“It’s a picnic,” David called out with a laugh in his tone, “is there any food left? I'm starving.” Red stood up to greet David. “Hey Red, how's my partner in crime? Bas, imagine seeing you here.”
“Subtle, David,” Bas chuckled, despite his annoyance.
“Well, you'd certainly know subtle when you see it, wouldn't you Bas?” David returned with a laugh of his own.
Bas amiably rolled to a sitting position, making room for David to sit on an edge of the blanket. Soon we were all picking through leftovers in the food bag. Fifteen minutes later, I was stuffed and too lazy to move. Bas had talked me into eating two more cookies. I admit it, I succumbed to peer pressure, but they were really good.
“Teresa, can I dig through your backpack to see if Ken has any toys in there for Red. Maybe there's a ball,” David asked, after he had tossed our trash in a nearby garbage can.
“Ball?” Red's head lifted off my ankle. “I bet he throws better than you, Teresa.”
“Everyone throws better than me, Red,” I said with a grin.
“Go ahead and look, David. There may be a ball in the pack, but we can't let Red off-leash in this park. It’s a twenty-five foot lead, so he has some room to move, but not enough for a long chase.”
“We'll manage, won't we Red?” David said. The boys took off together, bro-mance in full bloom, leaving Bas and me alone again.
“Do you have another date with David this week?”
“Yes, on Tuesday. I'm not saying where. This rivalry between you two is getting no help from me. The last thing I want is to have you showing up. Although, I will admit I got a kick out of David appearing today. You were so obvious last night, hanging out at my house and waiting for us to get home.” I laughed at the memory.
Bas pulled me in for a hug and kissed my cheek, then my lips. I had expected possessive, but it was a sweet kiss. This guy had more layers than an onion.
“Do you miss working?” Bas inquired, still holding me in a loose circle of his arms, leaning me back against his chest. “Janey told me you'd been bookkeeping for the last few years, then you two went in together to do some web design business. Any plans on what you want to try next?”
I shook my head. “I don't miss bookkeeping at all, it was a steady paycheck, but I was never really excited by the job. Janey took over the web designing. I get a commission on the templates I created, but she is doing all the work now. I consider myself lucky I have supplemental medical insurance, or I would have lost everything in medical bills. As it is, I don't have to go back to work for a couple years; I can live off the money from the policies.”
“I'm glad that's not a worry for you,” Bas said. “Although, if you have any problems you know Janey and I are here to help, right?”
I hugged his arms to me. “Thank you. I don't think I'll need any help, but it’s nice to know I have friends I can call on.”
“Friends for what?” David asked, coming up from behind us. The sound of energetic lapping was my first clue Red, the wonder dog, had arrived and needed a refill.
“Bas was asking about my work, and if I had plans to re-train or anything,” I answered.
“You should do something with Red,” David suggested, “Like you did with the police department yesterday. He could open up some opportunities for both of you to stay busy. Red could even be a comfort dog at a nursing facility if you want to do some community service.”
“That's a great idea,” Bas concurred. “A few hours ago Red was able to diagnose a probable ear infection in another dog we met coming into the park.”
“I'll have to talk with Red about what kinds of things he can do,” I answered. “Detective Stephens knows about Red; maybe he could give us some guidance. I don't want too many people, outside of family and close friends, to know about him. His safety is most important.”
“Teresa,” David redirected gently, “as the only person who can communicate with Red, you are at risk too. Be careful who you tell, and make sure Red knows to alert you if you're at risk of being overheard. Most importantly, if anyone acts strangely, be sure to call Bas or me, no matter how stupid. Red has the potential to be a powerful tool, but the tool only works in your hands.” As serious as the discussion was, I will admit my mind wandered, briefly, at how well other “tools” might respond in my hands.
I think it would be wonderful to share Red's skills, but I could see the importance of discretion and caution. The four of us sat in the park for another hour, and had a serious discussion regarding minimizing risk of exposure, people who needed to know about our ability, behaviors for Red to watch for, and what to do in case of an emergency.
We agreed if Red and I worked for the police, one of them would accompany us at all times. Red would be too distracted by scent, and solving a puzzle, not to mention his view was somewhat limited to knees and thighs. Bas and David were better equipped to make sure we didn't inadvertently give ourselves away if someone caught us communicating, or saw Red do something out of the norm.
Sitting between two ex-military guys plotting, and planning, gave me new respect for their training and skill-sets. Feeling very safe amid all my men, I gave Red an affectionate scratch.
Chapter Nineteen
If planning in the park had given me a taste of Bas and David's risk management training, the next two months gave me an appreciation of their tactical skills. Without exception, Bas showed up in the middle of every date with David, and David was usually already seated at events I attended with Bas. It was a combination, of exasperating and hilarious, to watch the two of them sabotage each other.
At some point, I began to wonder if they were even interested in dating me, or if they merely enjoyed the game of one-upmanship. I was able to test this theory during Week Six of “The Siege of Teresa March,” during intermission at a symphony concert, in which Bas sat behind us and talked during the breaks between numbers. Under the pretense of going to the restroom, Red and I grabbed a cab home and left them both there.
It was a shame to miss the rest of the concert, but I thought it was interesting it took forty-one minutes before they thought to call my cell phone. “You guys enjoy the rest of your date,” I told them. “Red and I are at home, eating popcorn, and listening to Rachmaninoff without a running commentary.”
Week Seven of the Siege was actually kinda fun. They did get the hint and must have come to an agreement. Dare I say cease-fire? They were reduced to stalking and guerrilla warfare tactics. Dates were no longer disrupted in the middle, but the men had perfected the art of showing up right about the time for the goodnight kiss. I have to assume one or the other would trail us all night before, metaphorically, jumping out from behind a bush, to hijack the end of the date. One night, Bas and I arrived at my home to find David waiting on my couch. Ken had let him in.
Bas and I developed a comfortable friendship. It was so at odds with the conflict and animosity I'd felt for him half my life. If it hadn't been for my blossoming relationship with David, I might have come to a point where I could look at Bastian as a possible lover or partner, but there was David. Where Bas was intense, aggressive, and cocky, David was laid-back, confident, and encouraging. Bastian overwhelmed me with raw graphic words and passionate kisses. David enticed me with teasing whispers and soft melting touches. Bas willed me to want him. David seduced me to need him.
Week Eight was the week I canceled a date for the first time. Detective Stephens called me as David and I pulled away from my house on our way to dinner and dancing. He asked if Red and I could come to the police department for a �
��consultation.” Since David accompanied me, maybe it wasn't technically a canceled date, but it wasn't the night we had planned. He took the detour in stride and half an hour later, I was passing through the security screening in my fancy formal wear.
A policeman met us in the lobby and escorted us to Detective Stephens who waited in a large open space that echoed when we spoke. To my ear, that indicated the room was uncarpeted, and probably sparsely furnished.
“There are other people in the room,” Red told me.
“Good evening, Detective,” I said, offering my hand in greeting. “The gentleman with me is my friend, David Preston. We were on our way to dinner, when I received your call.”
“David, this is Detective Stephens, the officer I met at the park when the child went missing.” The men spoke quietly to each other for a moment so I took the opportunity to pretend to adjust Red's harness and whisper to him, “Describe the room and the people to me?”