by Risa Peris
Stella watched as Ben weaved through the crowd. He was heading to the back, where there was a private lounge, a cigar lounge and the restrooms. She got up and smoothed her skirt.
“Off to the ladies room?” Doris yanked a cherry off its stem and popped it into her mouth. She was about fiftyish, graying and, from the subject of her conversations, lusty.
“Yeah. I’ll be right back”
“We’ll save your spot,” chimed Alia as she swirled her vodka and grapefruit.
“Thanks.” Stella moved through the crowd anxiously. She saw the back of Ben’s head move down the hall. She stumbled as one of the lawyers, Marcus Buckingham, bumped into her splashing, what smelled like whisky, onto her navy blue and white blouse.
“Sorry. So Sorry. Let me get you some napkins.” Buckingham grabbed some napkins from the bar and started to blot her blouse. He stopped after a few swipes when he realized he was stroking her breasts.
"Sorry." Buckingham looked embarrassed. "Let me get some more napkins."
He returned and handed her a large stack. Stella wiped her hands and blotted her blouse.
"I'm so sorry," he said again.
"Don't worry about it," said Stella. She handed him the soiled napkins.
She continued to move through the crowd. Her nose crinkled from the alcohol stench.
She was standing in the hall that led to the lounges and restrooms. She figured Ben went to the restroom so she positioned herself halfway down the hall, so she could flag him down when he emerged. Stella untucked her blouse and pulled it back and forth in effort to dry it and air it out. It wasn’t working. She sighed. She tightened her ponytail and wondered if her makeup was fresh and unsmeared. Stella caught her reflection on the smooth glass and marble wall in front of her. She saw that a lock of yellow hair had come undone and she hooked it behind her ear. As she was doing so, she heard a low moaning. Stella looked around. She wondered if someone was ill or injured. The moaning persisted. She then heard a light, breathless giggle.
“You’re so naughty,” uttered the voice. The voice sounded familiar. Stella walked down the hall. Where is it coming from, she wondered. Two men emerged from the cigar lounge in haze of smoke and laughter. They nodded in Stella’s direction and continued on. Stella stopped at a door marked ‘PRIVATE’. The moaning was louder and she could hear a gentle thumping.
“You’re so fucking hot. Such a bad bitch with your wet cunt.” Stella stopped. It was Ben’s voice. It was sweet Ben saying vulgar things. She wanted to run but instead she pushed the door open. Gwen was sitting on a table with her pale legs and blue stiletto heels jutting up and around Ben who was bracing one hand against the wall. He was sliding in and out of her and grunting with each thrust. Gwen’s eyes were closed and she was babbling incoherently like some toddler. Her usually tight, face lifted face was soft and screwed up in what Stella now recognized as ecstasy. She couldn’t move. Ben grunted some more, squeezed Gwen’s pinstripe encased boob and then turned his head slightly to the left.
“Oh, shit!” Ben exclaimed. He didn’t withdraw from Gwen though. He stared angrily at Stella. “Guess you don’t know the word private.” Gwen’s eyes popped open and she screeched.
“For fuck sake Stella! What are you doing here?” She pushed away from Ben and quickly closed her legs, but not before Stella saw her hairless and engorged vagina.
Stella felt shaky. “She’s married, Ben.”
“And?” Ben looked at Stella and winked.
“Get out,” yelled Gwen.
Stella backed up and found the knob to the door. She could feel tears sliding down her cheeks. Stella turned and ran. She slammed into a waiter when she got to the bar and knocked platefuls of food from his hands.
“What the...” The waiter looked annoyed and tired.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” The bar had quieted and was staring at Stella. She bent to pick up a plate.
“I got it. We’ll get this cleared up.” The waiter guided her away from the spilled food and towards the front of the bar.
She felt as if the world were going in slow motion. Doris approached her and asked if everything was okay.
“I have to go,” said Stella. She grabbed her purse and coat and stumbled into the street.
Oh Ben, she lamented. Her longtime crush and fantasy had crumbled.
Chapter 10
The phone rang at seven in the morning. Stella was lying in bed. She was exhausted and had slept less than two hours. She reached for the cell phone. It was from a blocked number.
“Stella?”
“Yes?”
“This is Marjorie from the law firm. I am calling on behalf of Gwen Ryder. I’m to inform you that your services are no longer needed. We will send a courier today with your desk belongings and your final paycheck. Can I confirm your address?
“I haven’t moved. You have my address.”
“Oh, very well. Thank you again for your work at the firm.” The phone clicked. Stella gripped the phone. She had no more tears left. None at all. She was dry and as brittle as a fossil. Stella pulled the blanket around her tighter.
“I want my life to end, right now.” She imagined her words cracking in the air like icicles.
The phone rang again. She answered. “What is it now?” Her voice was snippy.
“Whoa. Is that the way to answer the phone?”
“Jane. Jane. My life is over.”
“What on Earth happened?”
“I got fired. From the law firm. And Ben...I caught him fucking Gwen, that over processed old hag.”
“Where are you?”
“In bed. I’m never leaving my bed. Not ever.”
“I wish I could come over. I have a gig. Helping a photographer with a model shoot. Dreading seeing a bunch of tiny waisted witches. It pays well though.”
“I’m not leaving my bed, so coming over would be a waste of your time. My life is so over.”
“Stop saying that. Get out of bed. Face the day.”
“Unless I end my life now, I will have to get up. I need to find a new job and I work at the restaurant tonight.”
“That’s it girl. Life goes on. Forget Ben. He obviously wasn’t the person you thought he was. What about Camp...”
“Don’t even say his name.”
“Alright. Alright. I have to go. I’ll call you later. Kisses.”
Stella threw off the covers. The air was cold and she shivered. She flexed her toes and considered swinging her legs out of bed, but was halted by the sinking feeling in her stomach. She rolled over and reached for her laptop, which was sitting on the floor beside the bed. She searched for Benjamin Forsythe. The first link led to his law firm page. His photo was in the upper right hand corner. He looked handsome, suave and trustworthy. Stella peered closely at the picture. She imagined seeing his smile crack his cheeks and destroy his face.
“You smug, ugly bastard.” Stella slammed the laptop cover down.
There was a knock at the door. Stella stood up. She suspected it was her next door neighbor inquiring about all the crying last night. The walls between the apartments were thin, at best.
“Just a minute,” Stella hollered. She pulled her ratty, plaid robe on and shuffled to the door. “I’m OK, Mrs. Stoney. I was just sick last night.” She opened the door. Her mouth dropped open. She was expecting her overly caring and aging neighbor. Instead, Campbell was standing at the door dressed in jeans, a blue t-shirt and a brown leather jacket. He looked casual, relaxed and ten years younger. Stella was suddenly conscious of her messed up hair, unclean pajamas and bespectacled eyes. She had removed her contacts last night because she was afraid the tears would wash them away in a sea of misery.
“Ah...” Stella couldn’t think of anything to say. She patted her hair down.
“How are you? You look ill.”
“I’m not. Why are you here? Why aren’t you at work trading securities and making the world move? Why are you in jeans? How did you know where I live?”
“Th
at’s a lot of questions.” Campbell had a large smile on his face. Stella surprised herself by smiling back. He certainly is cuter casual, she thought. “Can I come in or should I kick back here in the hallway?”
“You can come in. But don’t judge me on cleanliness. I wasn’t expecting company.”
“Thanks and I won’t judge.” He stepped across the threshold and stared at her.
“I need to put on clothes.”
“Why?”
Stella looked at him and rolled her eyes. “I'm in pajamas.”
“You look cute.”
“I’m putting clothes on.” Stella went to her dresser and pulled out khakis and a maroon t-shirt. She turned to go to the restroom but stopped. The image of Ben pounding Gwen floated in her mind. She turned to look at Campbell. He was watching her quietly with a grin on his face. Stella dropped her clothes and proceeded to take off her pajamas, slipping the pajama bottoms off and then the top. She retrieved a bra and panties and slowly put them on. Campbell wasn’t smiling any more. He looked flush. Stella reached her arms overhead to put on her t-shirt, but her hair got stuck.
“Let me help you with that.” Campbell unhooked her hair and slid her t-shirt down over her breasts, but not before grazing her hardened nipples with his hands.
“Thanks.”
“You’re very welcome.” He hooked a strand of hair behind her ear.
“So are you going to answer my questions?”
“I forgot the questions.”
“Why are you here?”
“I wanted to see you. I missed you.”
Stella felt a flood of desire. “Shouldn’t you be at work?”
“I quit.”
“What?”
“I quit. I’m starting a new chapter.”
“What will you do?”
Campbell laughed. “Probably the same thing. I’ll start my own company.”
Stella touched his arm. “I got fired.”
“From the restaurant?”
“No, the law firm.” She proceeded to tell him about what she witnessed, but was careful to leave out any mention of her huge infatuation with Ben.
“I always figured Gwen for that kind of behavior. She was very...insecure. Hell, she was a Class A bitch.”
Stella dropped her hand from his arm. “You knew Gwen?”
“From Razor Edge. When I worked at Razor Edge. She promised to hire you for a more lucrative position.”
Stella laughed and walked towards her couch and collapsed. She had been convinced that Ben had recommended her for the position and that in doing so he was expressing a secret longing for her. I was so wrong, thought Stella. Ben had been a fantasy. That was all. The fantasy was now over and a handsome man was in her apartment that missed her.
“Is something wrong?” Campbell looked concerned.
“No. I didn’t know that was you that recommended me.”
Campbell looked sheepish. “Yeah, well. I had no connections with publishing houses. I would have gladly got you a job at a publishing house if I could.”
“Wait, how did you know I worked at the law firm?”
Campbell hung his head. “I asked around.”
Stella thought for a moment. “Lola’s. You grilled my manager.”
“I’m sorry. I had my assistant do it. I didn’t want them to think you had a stalker.”
Stella leaned back on the couch and laughed again. Clarity was making her light headed. “Thank you. Thank you for thinking of me.”
Stella felt warm. She stared at Campbell and decided he was a very attractive man. She closed her eyes briefly and thought of him kneeling before her; licking her to completion. She pulled off her t-shirt. Her nipples were erect and she licked her finger and circled the right one with her fingertip.
“What are you doing?” Campbell’s voice was thick and urgent.
“Come here.” Stella felt brave and sexual. Desire was giving her courage.
Campbell approached and she grabbed him by his pants and pulled him closer. She unbuttoned his jeans and slid his zipper down. His penis jutted out.
“What are you doing?” Campbell’s voice cracked.
“Shhhh.” Stella took him into her mouth and hesighed deeply. His hand threaded through her hair as she inhaled deeper.
“Stella,” he whispered. He pulled out of her mouth and kissed her deeply, licking her lips and battling with her tongue. “I love you.”
Stella’s eyes shot open. “What?”
Campbell pulled back. He looked surprised. “I...I...”
“You don’t know me.”
He gripped the back of her head. “I kind of do. You’re sweet, gentle, sexy, cute, down to earth. I’m sorry. The words just came out. It’s too soon. I know. I know. But when we’re together...”
Campbell bent down and kissed Stella. She was stiff. He continued kissing her face until she softened. “I won’t say it again. Not for several weeks, anyhow.”
“You can say it. Say it.”
Campbell, in a long breath, uttered, “I love you.”
“I don’t love you yet, Campbell.”
“I know.”
“Can we settle on lust for now?”
“We can do that.”
Stella took off her pants and stood before Campbell. “I want you.”
He pulled her close and let his hands roam over her body until she was moaning. She pushed him down onto the couch. His penis was stiff and his face was full of longing. Stella straddled him and with a brazenness quite unlike her, she proceeded to ride him until his moaning and breath became rapid and his body shuddered with release. She felt powerful.
Chapter 11
Stella put her keys in the crystal bowl by the door.
“Hello?” She untied her scarf and draped it over the hook near the mirror.
“In my office.”
Stella walked into the living room. There was mail on the table, but she was uninterested. She went down the short hall to the office. Campbell was sitting behind a bank of computer screens, tapping away. He looked up expectantly.
“Well?”
“Well.”
“Come on, baby. What happened?”
“Well, you are looking at the new art columnist for Manhattan Confidential.”
“Yes! That’s wonderful.” Campbell hurried across the small office and embraced her. “That’s so amazing.”
“Oh, and guess who’s number 89 on Kindle?”
“Hmmm. Could it be my love, the center of my life?”
“Oh, I like the sound of that.” Stella giggled.
“I bet you do.”
Stella kissed him and thought back over the past year. After three weeks of dating, Campbell had suggested they move in together.