by Tawny Weber
“I feel horrible about that, too,” Sage said with a grimace. “I’d have loved to see the cars. My dad was talking about it all the way from the airport this morning.”
She didn’t want to admit that she’d barely made it for the wedding at all. Dave, her boyfriend until last week, had hocked her original plane ticket that would have gotten here a week ago. She’d found out the night before her flight was due to leave, then had had to work overtime at the coffee bar all week, call in a few favors and borrow against her next paycheck to replace it. She’d covered the last-minute fare difference by selling Dave’s drum set.
She’d thought she wanted a guy who needed her. That maybe being a part of helping him find his passion was her way to bliss. But there wasn’t much bliss to be found in giving a wannabe diva a free ride.
“So what’s the deal?” AnaMaria asked quietly after a few seconds.
“Deal?” Sage prevaricated. Sharing the fact that she’d just ended yet another unfulfillingly dead-end, soul-dimming relationship wasn’t her idea of wedding fun.
“Yeah. The deal. Just a month ago you were talking about how fun this visit was going to be. Two weeks ago, in between your call for donations to the animal shelter, you blogged about introducing the boyfriend to your friends. So...where’s the hot rock-star boyfriend? Why weren’t you here a week ago? And why do you look so bummed?” Clearly out of breath, but not questions, AnaMaria filled her lungs and looked like she was going to keeping going.
Sage held up one hand before the other woman said anything else and shook her head. This was a sitting-down sort of conversation, so she glanced around.
“Let’s chill,” she suggested, waving her hand to indicate one of the small tables in the corner.
“I don’t think the Seattle scene is really me,” she admitted when they were settled. She ran her fingers over the smooth satin tablecloth, letting the fabric cool her stress. “I thought I wanted something intense, you know. The rock scene, music, the passion of it. But I’m not finding what I need there.”
“Dave wasn’t passionate enough?” AnaMaria asked, scooting her chair closer and leaning her head in, making it clear that she was ready to hear any and all naughty details.
And oh, the details they were. Sage pressed her lips together, then shrugged. Why not? She hadn’t come away with much from the relationship, she might as well have fun now.
“He was passionate about his music. So much so that he could only get it up if his tunes were playing in the background,” she dished, leaning close to offer a wicked smile and a wriggle of her brows. “And mirrors. He liked doing it in front of mirrors.”
AnaMaria’s mouth rounded into an O.
“Well, that’s kinda sexy, right?” the redhead asked, her cheeks as bright as her hair now. “At least, I’ve heard it is.”
It was all Sage could do not to hug her close. For a woman married well over a year to a pretty hot cop, AnaMaria was awfully sheltered.
“The mirrors—plural, by the way—were always angled so he could focus on just him.” It’d been sexy the first time. Interesting the next few as she watched him flex and preen. Sorta like watching her own personal porn film. But the novelty had faded fast.
“Mirrors? Oh my.” Looking baffled, and a little intrigued, AnaMaria waved to the passing waiter, indicating she wanted whatever appetizers he was passing out. When it turned out to be stuffed mushrooms and bacon-wrapped scallops, Sage took a plate as well.
“But he was deep in the rock scene, right? You said you couldn’t wait to bask in the creative energy and grungy vibe,” AnaMaria asked after a few bites.
Sage’s lips twitched, wondering if it’d taken her friend all that time to find a safe response, or if she’d been trying to envision a guy who preferred sex with himself.
“In the four months we were together, he joined and left five bands, went through twelve tubes of eyeliner and had to be talked out of jumping off our first-floor balcony three times.”
“First-floor...”
“Balcony,” Sage finished, taking a glass of champagne from another passing waiter. “He liked the drama, but wasn’t a fan of anything physical. Like pain. Or work.”
“Except sex with mirrors,” AnaMaria intoned, grinning before sipping her own champagne.
“Exactly,” Sage agreed, figuring it was better to laugh through the pain. It was that or cry.
Was it too much to want a guy who was dedicated to what he did, had that deep passion for life—and the ability to please a woman without using strange kink? If he just had that, she’d put up with all of the negative qualities. Because if she was learning nothing else on this quest she called life, it was that everyone came with negatives. The trick was to find people who had more positives to balance that out.
Too bad she wasn’t having much luck on that score. She drained her glass in a single gulp, the bubbles hitting her fast.
“Sage, I want you to meet someone,” Nina said, her words as bright as her excited smile. The brunette slid into an empty chair and helped herself to a mushroom from AnaMaria’s plate. “He’s really cute, smart and single. You’ll love him.”
“How’d you know she’s single?” AnaMaria asked, shifting her plate farther out of reach. “Just a week ago she was sharing the awesomeness that was her rocker-boy.”
“He’s not here, is he?”
“So? That doesn’t mean anything where Sage is concerned. She never brings guys home. Even when she says she will, she finds a way to avoid it.”
“You’re right,” Nina said, her tone contemplative as they both turned searching looks on Sage. “Why do you think that is? Maybe she’s ashamed of us?”
“More likely she doesn’t want her guy to know she comes from such a normal upbringing.”
“Or perhaps she knows you’ll make inappropriate comments and embarrass us all,” Sage interrupted, rolling her eyes.
“There is that,” Nina acknowledged with a big smile, taking her next bite off of Sage’s plate. “So? What do you say?”
“To what?”
“To meeting this guy.”
“A fix-up?” Sage asked, cringing.
“Not a fix-up. A date while you’re home. What?” Nina said, her expression as innocent as she could make it. “Were you going to hide at your dad’s the entire visit?”
“I hadn’t really thought about it.” She hadn’t actually thought past where she’d snag some work to buy herself a plane ticket back to Seattle. Even though it was time to move on, she still had to pack up.
And figure out where she wanted to go next.
“So, give Jeffrey a chance while you’re here. A date or two. What’s the harm? You might find out you like him.”
“What’s he do?”
“He’s a doctor.”
AnaMaria laughed at the horror on Sage’s face.
“Um, no, thank you,” Sage said, waving both palms in the air to indicate the end of that train of thought.
“Why not? You’ve already tried the Indian chief. You might as well give a lawyer and a doctor a try.”
“He wasn’t a chief. He was a fire dancer,” Sage muttered. “And I’m not interested in professional guys. You know that.”
“I don’t see why not,” Nina muttered before launching into a soliloquy about this guy’s glowing traits.
Barely listening, Sage’s eyes cut across the hall to her father, who was drinking scotch and chatting with the groom’s father. As usual, it was weird to see the Professor without a book in hand. Her earliest memories were of him reading to her. She’d spent her toddler years after her mother had died playing at his feet while he worked at his desk, at home or at the university.
Her every memory of her father was colored by his dedication to learning. His avocation for amassing and honoring knowledge. A worthy goa
l, and something she was very proud of him for.
But that didn’t mean he was the kind of guy she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. Been there, done that. She wanted spiritual instead of cerebral.
“Give him a chance,” Nina persuaded. “He’s really cute. And isn’t it time you tried someone new?”
“Like guys are flavors of ice cream?”
“Hey, you’re the one who’s vowed to avoid vanilla.”
“C’mon, Nina,” AnaMaria said, nudging their friend with her shoulder. “If Sage wanted a guy like her dad, she’d just hook up with Aiden Masters. He’s got all those qualities going on, plus he’s got the best body of any guy who’s ever come out of Villa Rosa.”
They all paused for a second to pay mental homage to Aiden’s hot body, then Nina waved her hand through the air as if dispersing the image from everyone’s mind.
“Aiden isn’t here. And he’s not Sage’s type. Jeffrey is here, and while he might not be the type Sage has gone for in the past, he could be now.”
“No,” Sage decided adamantly. “Maybe I haven’t figured out what kind of guy is perfect for me yet. But I do know what kind isn’t perfect. As much as I adore my father, I don’t want a guy like him. Dedication, focus and intensity are all well and good. But I want more than that. I want passion and creativity and drama.”
“Drama leads to guys jumping off the first-floor balcony,” AnaMaria reminded her.
Ugh. Good point. But Sage shrugged it off, focusing instead on the delight of building her vision.
“I want a guy who makes me shiver with his insights,” she expanded, staring at the white wall as if the image of that guy would coalesce there. “One who has excitement and dedication and a soul-deep hunger for exploring the depths of the human experience.”
AnaMaria and Nina exchanged glances, then Nina shook her head.
“If I were you, I’d settle on great sex.”
“Sex?” Sage repeated with a baffled look. How could Nina equate sex to a spiritual nirvana?
“Sure. With the right guy, you’ll get all of that and an orgasm. Shivers, excitement, and deep exploration. What more does a girl want?”
Sage contemplated the last few months of mirror-focused sex and sighed.
What more, indeed.
Two weeks ago
“AFTER ALL OF YOUR YEARS of plotting and planning, of saving bridal magazines and making lists, you eloped?”
“A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do,” Nina said, looking so content Sage couldn’t even teasingly chide her. “Besides, I didn’t think you could get back until summer and I didn’t want to wait that long to become Mrs. Jeffrey Philips.”
“I can’t believe you married my doctor,” Sage said, laughing as she wandered through Nina’s new living room. Filled with thick carpets, rich wood and silk-covered furniture, it was posh to say the least. She wasn’t surprised that after less than two weeks her friend had already unpacked and settled in. Nina was good at that.
“Well, you weren’t going to date him. I figured I’d give it a try,” Nina said, stretching out on the divan with a contented look on her face.
“You said you’d never marry a guy who had a job that might come before you, remember? I can’t imagine a doctor doesn’t put his career in the top slot.”
Nina’s shrug was as luxurious as the room itself. Clearly priorities were adjustable if the bank account was big enough.
Hey, that might not be her way, but Sage couldn’t fault her friend. At least she knew what she wanted. Unlike some people who had spent over a decade claiming they knew what they wanted—even if whatever that was changed from year to year.
Sage pushed her hand through her hair, recently dyed back to her original golden-blond. After three months of bouncing from job to job in Sedona, Arizona—the woowoo capital of the desert—she’d finally accepted that she actually had no idea what she wanted. Or where she wanted it.
So she’d done what anyone would do. She’d slinked home without a word to anyone. She’d hoped to sneak into her father’s house and hide until she’d figured out what was missing from her life. But she’d run into the new Dr. and Mrs. Philips at the airport, of all places.
“You realize now that I’m settled, you’re the last one of our circle still single,” Nina pointed out, inspecting her manicure as if checking to see if she were up to the coming task of taking care of that little problem.
“No. No, no, no,” Sage protested, sinking into the chair opposite her friend and offering a look of horror. “No fix-ups. You married the last guy you tried to fix me up with, which should tell you how bad you are at matchmaking.”
“I have other guys in mind this time,” Nina informed her. “I’ve been making a list since Cailley’s wedding.”
That sounded ominous enough to send a chill down Sage’s spine. A list that long meant Nina was determined. A determined Nina was a pain-in-the-ass Nina. And Sage just couldn’t deal with it right now.
Not while she was fighting the horrible suspicion that everyone had been right about her for years. That, instead of being a free spirit in search of bliss, she was really a wishy-washy flake who’d never be satisfied with anything.
“That’s sweet of you to think of me,” Sage said quickly. “But I’m not available.”
“Of course you are.”
“No. I’m not.”
Nina gave a pitying click of her tongue, as if Sage thinking she had any say in this was funny.
“You need a guy. I’m going to find you one. The perfect one,” Nina stated. “Even if we have to go through dozens to get there. Which is fine, since I have a lot of options on my list.”
Good God. Sage shuddered. She had to stop this. Now. There was no way she was going to get her head together and figure out why her life was so blah if she was fending off blind dates.
“I’m not available,” she insisted. Maybe if she pretended to have a boyfriend, Nina would leave her alone.
“Why? Because you’re dating some schmo who you’ll dump in two weeks? That’s fine. I can wait.”
“He’s not a schmo. He’s a great guy. The perfect guy.” After all, why would she date an imaginary guy who wasn’t perfect?
“Who?”
Sage shrugged, trying to look coy while her mind raced. She wanted Nina off her back, or she’d be fending off fix-ups from her, AnaMaria and Cailley until she left town. But she was lousy at lying. She was a great dancer, though, so hopefully sidestepping would be enough.
“Is it serious?”
“I wouldn’t say serious,” Sage prevaricated.
“Then you are okay to date other guys.”
“Although we are talking marriage.” The words flew off Sage’s tongue before her brain even realized they were an option.
She wanted to grab them back. Marriage? Her? Nina was sure to laugh in her face, grab her phone and arrange Sage’s first fix-up date before she’d even unpacked.
Before she could grab, or think up a better lie to cover up her first lie, Nina flew into a sitting position, going from mellow to shocked in a single breath.
“Who? Who’s the guy?” Eyes narrowed, Nina shook her head. “The perfect guy, who you’re crazy enough about to stick with for more than five minutes, and willing to consider marrying, which means introducing him to your father and friends.”
She made it sound like that guy didn’t exist.
Sage frowned. She might have a point.
Then, like a lightbulb flashing on, she had it.
“Aiden.” She gave Nina a triumphant smile. “Aiden Masters and I are engaged.”
* * *
FEELING A LITTLE SMUG and a lot relieved to be off the matchmaking hit list, Sage walked into her dad’s house, calling his name as she moved through the rooms.
She’d emailed last night to tell him she’d be here today. When she’d gone straight from the airport to Nina’s, she’d texted to let him know she’d be a few hours. His lack of reply hadn’t worried her. He always read her notes, but rarely replied.
But his lack of presence in his own house was starting to make her twitch.
She reached the study and stopped short, frowning.
She always found him in the study, buried in books, papers and his own brilliant thoughts.
Where was he?
“Dad?” she called again, heading back to the front of the house. “Are you here?”
“Sage?” Coming from the kitchen, her father pushed a hand through his hair, sounding confused. “When did you get home? I wasn’t expecting you.”
She opened her mouth, but nothing came out.
It’d only been eight months since she’d seen him. What had happened? He looked horrible. Like he’d lost weight, color and half his life force. Her feet felt like they were glued to the floor with dread as he shuffled over to wrap his arms around her. Instead of being engulfed in the usual bear hug, it was like being patted down by a skeleton. And what did he mean, he wasn’t expecting her? Her frown deepened and a heavy knot took hold deep in her belly.
Before she could comment, another man joined them in the foyer.
“Dr. Brooke?” she said in greeting, sounding as confused as she felt. She thought that while her father respected their neighbor as a skilled oncologist, he also considered the guy as boring as dried mud. Now they were coffee buddies?
“Sage, I’m glad you’re home,” the doctor said, his expression gravely relieved.
“What’s going on?”
She looked from her father to the doctor then back again.
“Dad?”
“Sweetie, I’ll explain everything,” he promised, patting her icy hand. Despite his horrible appearance, he looked like he’d just won the lottery, discovered a time machine and had spent the weekend with a roomful of exotic dancers, combined. His huge smile was at direct odds with the dread in her belly.