If We Dare to Dream

by Collette Scott

  As she busied herself with trimming the ends of the flowers and organizing them in the glass vase she had found, Andrew could not resist his own attempt at teasing her. “You don’t get flowers regularly then?”

  She laughed aloud. “Me? No. Unfortunately, I can’t even remember when the last time was that I got flowers… Well, except the bouquet your grandmother sent me after you were released.”

  “Not even from George?”

  She looked surprised. “My neighbor?”

  He had never had the opportunity to ask her about Ford’s offhand comment about the neighbor he had met, but now that he had mentioned the name he realized that he really did want to know what her opinion of the man was. “Ford mentioned that you two went out.”

  Admitting a touch of jealousy was hard for him, but her reaction was everything he could have hoped for. She laughed again, a light sound that warmed his heart once more. She set the vase and fluffed the bouquet one last time before turning to face him. Leaning against the counter, she put her hands on her hips and shook her head. “Oh gosh, I had dinner with him a couple of times, one that ended up a barbecue in his backyard with his children. No, George never bought me flowers.”

  “Good.”

  His single word answer drew her laughter again, and she leaned forward to grasp the lapels of his shirt. She pulled him to her and he went willingly, his heart picking up in tempo as she paused when their faces were just inches apart.

  “Are you a little jealous, Andrew?”

  Rather than answering her question, he closed the gap between them, and his lips covered hers hungrily. When he lifted his head a few moments later, her eyes were glazed. Feeling satisfied with her reaction, he felt a smile grow and part his lips as he stared down at her.

  “Maybe a little,” he admitted.

  Nodding her head slowly, she gave his head a slight tug to draw him close again. “I like that.”

  “You do, huh?”

  “Are you just swinging in on your way home?” Her voice held plenty of promise, and he could feel his loins tighten instinctively.

  He shook his head. “Adam took off again.”

  “He did? So that means…”

  He nodded. “It does.”

  “Then come here.”

  A slow, seductive and pleased smile spread her lips, and she leaned forward and kissed him again. With no one to interrupt, with nowhere to go, he lifted her onto the counter and wondered if he would ever be able to get enough of her. At that moment, he knew he could never let her go. He was hopelessly and happily trapped in her tender grasp.

  Chapter 18

  Following the family dinner at Ford’s house that weekend, Andrew finally admitted to Jamie that he had missed her as much as she claimed to have missed him the week before. It was a big step for him, but the joy that had flashed in her eyes gave him the confidence to continue opening up to her. He liked that she was so easy to talk to, and it was growing easier for him to express himself when he had such an avid listener. Her brothers were more accepting of him than he had expected, and Jamie made no attempt to hide their relationship from any of them. She sat by his side and touched him casually throughout the evening, surely turning any rumors that remained into fact. Surprisingly, they continued to support his presence, and there were no subversive glares or threatening stares sent his way. Ian had even pulled him aside and advised him of the latest in Kit’s case. They were closing in on a suspect, meaning Andrew would once and for all be able to escape the stigma.

  He was settling more and more into his new life, a life he never would have dreamed possible just six short months ago. He had a job, was starting a new relationship, had developed new friendships and felt as though things were finally going his way. Though he would always bear some scars from his past, he felt strong enough to continue moving forward. It had become easier to contact Smack over the last month, and he had even sent the kid some money to go into his account. Smack had reported that he was holding up and still attending classes. Knowing that he had left his cellie with some semblance of a chance had boosted Andrew’s confidence all the more.

  He had made a difference after all.

  There was only one dark cloud hovering over his head reminding him of his one continued failure. If only he could make the same impact on Adam.

  For every moment he spent in Jamie’s company, falling deeper in love with her gentle spirit and loving personality, the wedge between him and his brother grew. With only one week left before he had to return to the base, Andrew feared what would happen once Adam left Arizona. Even his grandmother had voiced her concern that he would not return any time before her funeral. Adam’s continued erratic behavior reminded Andrew that he still had not learned exactly what was going on, and he also realized he had missed many hints and subtle innuendos.

  With that in mind, Andrew again dragged himself from Jamie’s arms and moved back in with his grandmother, intent on pulling from Adam what was troubling him.

  Knowing that he was due home from a trip to Albuquerque that evening, Andrew drove straight out to his grandmother’s following another long workday. Ever since the weather had cooled off he had ridden more frequently, but his riding partner had more often than not been Jamie rather than Adam. His brother showed little interest in the animals. Once an avid rodeo rider like his older brother, Adam seemed completed disengaged from anything horse related. In fact, none of his previous interests appealed to him anymore. These increasing warning signs boded trouble sometime in the future. Though how quickly that trouble was to hit was unknown to Andrew at the time.

  He was to find out that it was not as far off as he had thought.

  At the same time Andrew was climbing out of his truck, Grandma was wheeling directly into his path with a pensive look on her face and a slip of paper in her hand. For such a slight woman, she was wheeling herself pretty quickly in his direction, and Andrew watched her approach with an impending feeling of doom.

  “Andrew, I just spoke to Gracia. I think you may want to call her back.”

  Frowning, Andrew reached for the slip of paper. “Who’s Gracia?”

  “Gracia was Adam’s fiancé. She called me today.”

  Glancing down at the slip of paper now crumpled from being pressed against the pushrim of the wheelchair, Adam studied it carefully as though looking for clues. His grandmother’s normally neat handwriting was hasty and scribbled, but he could make out the number and name. “What’s wrong?”

  “I’m not sure. She was babbling about police and Adam. She said she needed to speak to him as soon as possible, but he wouldn’t answer his phone.”

  Andrew’s lips compressed tightly. That could not be good. He nodded and reached into his pocket for his cell phone. With thumbs that felt like sausages, he dialed the number scribbled on the paper. The phone answered on the first ring.

  “Hello Adam?”

  He cleared his throat nervously. “No, this is Andrew, his brother.”

  “Oh.” The disappointment in her voice was evident. With a voice that sounded more like a young child caught in the act of doing something wrong, its high pitch and shaky tone conveyed her fear. “Is Adam there with you now?”

  “He’s not home yet. We’re expecting him this evening…” Though he could sense her reluctance to speak with him, he was concerned enough to press her. “I understand that you may be in a little trouble?”

  “It’s not me that’s in trouble,” she blurted.

  “Can you tell me about it?”

  “Adam’s not there?”

  Her simple question made the blood in his veins run cold, though for what reason he could not determine yet. He glanced at his grandmother and nodded for her to go back to the house. “I’m outside alone.”

  Grandma gave him a concerned frown before turning her chair around and wheeling back the way she came. Andrew felt sympathy for her, but at the moment he had no idea what was going on and the less stress he brought her the better.

  “I�
�m not sure how much you know about what’s been going on out here, but he must have told you that I left him.”

  “He did mention that.”

  “I left him because he was getting more violent and drinking too much. I was scared.”

  Her voice trembled as she spoke, and Andrew felt a surge of anger toward his brother. The way he had thrown Jamie up against the wall flashed in his memory. “Okay.”

  “I had the police here today looking for him. Something about a girl who claimed he tried to kill her. They wanted to talk to him.”

  Andrew’s hand tightened around the phone reflexively. “What did you say?”

  “I didn’t say anything. I told them that we broke up three months ago, and I wasn’t sure where he went. I gave them his grandmother’s phone number.”

  Andrew’s eyes drifted closed. This was not good. He was sure his grandmother would not be able to go through another scene like the one he had put her through. Pressing his thumb and forefinger against the bridge of his nose, he pinched tightly and struggled to think. “Do you know who this girl is? Could she be lying?”

  A shaky laugh reached his ears. “I don’t know for sure, but I can tell you that what they told me he did… he had done to me, too.”

  He could not hide his disbelief when he responded. “You mean he tried to hurt you?”

  “I’d rather not discuss it, really. I’m just trying to move on with my life. I loved Adam, I really did. It’s just that he changed so much, and I couldn’t be with him anymore.” She inhaled shakily. “Please let him know if you can that they’re looking for him. It might be better for him if he contacts them before they find him.”

  Andrew reached for his pen and spread the paper his grandmother had given him on the hood of his truck. “Okay, do you have a contact name and number?”

  She rattled it off and then abruptly disconnected. For a while Andrew stared at the number blindly, wondering what his brother could have done to bring this new trouble. Though he wanted nothing more than to claim Gracia was lying, unfortunately her fear was too real, her concern not scripted, and her sorrow evident. Worst of all was the reality that he could actually believe her just from viewing his brother’s behavior. Adam had proven already that he was on edge, and now Andrew had confirmation that he was unpredictable as well.

  With his own horrific experience with the legal system, Andrew felt hesitant to get involved. However, this was his baby brother, the boy he had tried to protect for most of his life. This was the kid who had climbed into his bed following nightmares or the occasional bedwetting after a beating. Andrew had always taken care of his brother. He needed to do it now.

  He just did not know if he was strong enough.

  First he needed to think.

  ***

  A chilly evening turned into a breezy night when Andrew retired to the rooftop observatory with Adam. He donned a coat over his long-sleeve pullover before leaving the house, admitting finally that the dog days of summer had turned into the cool temperatures of fall. This was the second evening with temperatures in the 50s, and there was talk of a winter storm arriving within the next few days. The hint that the mountain may actually get a dusting of snow caused Andrew’s eye to stray to the black silhouette off in the distance. Seeing it with snow was a sight to behold, and this year he welcomed staring at it from his grandparent’s roof rather than from the distance of his prison cell.

  “Do you remember when we first came here?” Adam broke the silence with a wistful smile and low voice. “Do you remember how we looked up at that mountain and thought we were in the wilderness?”

  Andrew nodded with a smile of remembrance. “Afraid grizzlies would break in our bedroom and attack us.”

  Adam chuckled. “Exactly.”

  “I remember.”

  “I had no idea back then what wilderness was. I bet you didn’t either until you were deployed.”

  Andrew’s lips compressed. “To an extent, yes. There were definitely remote areas.”

  “Filled with savages.”

  “Filled with people who were not accustomed to heavily armed troops shooting them and invading their land,” Andrew corrected softly.

  “Funny how things are never what you expect them to be… what you think you know and what is the truth end up being two separate things.”

  “That’s very true.” Andrew took a deep breath. It was now or never. “I spoke to someone from back east today.”

  Adam’s brows rose in undisguised surprise. “You did? One of your old unit buddies?”

  “No, she called for you.”

  “She?”

  The change in Adam’s demeanor was sudden. While previously reclining in his chair with his beer nonchalantly dangling from his hand, he suddenly sat up straight and his foot began its nervous tapping. Andrew noted the change with interest.

  “Gracia.”

  “She called looking for me?”

  Andrew turned and leaned against the roof, crossing his legs at the ankle. This was the important time; the time when he would have to watch Adam’s reaction carefully. Lies were easy to spot when one knew what to look for. Considering his experience in gauging liars, Andrew suspected his brother would be a piece of cake. “She called to warn you. Apparently some police officers were looking for you and visited her. Did you have some trouble with another woman before you left?”

  Adam’s eyes widened even more, until they appeared like large, white saucers in his handsome face. The rapid tattoo of his foot stopped as he ingested the new information, and Andrew saw that his chest barely rose. Adam was so surprised that he forgot to breathe.

  Interesting.

  His initial surprise turned to confusion. His brows drew together and his lips grew thin. “Did she tell them where I was?”

  “Not exactly.”

  Adam’s eyes strayed back to the mountain. He considered Andrew’s response carefully for a moment before turning back and smiling. “I think before I leave I’ll hike back up there one last time… you know, leave with a bang.”

  “She left me a name and number. Do you want it?”

  “Well I guess I’d better, so that I know what’s going on.”

  Nodding his head slowly, Andrew stared at his brother closely. “You have no idea why the police would be looking for you?”

  Never turning away from the mountain, Adam shook his head. “No clue.”

  “Then maybe a call can fix that. I’ll leave the number on the counter for you.”

  “Cool.”

  “Will you still be here tomorrow when I get home?”

  “I want to catch up on my sleep and visit with Grandma a little before I leave. Why? You going somewhere?”

  Shrugging, Andrew thought of Jamie. “I’ll be back tomorrow after work.”

  Though he never mentioned her outright, Adam seemed to know. He stiffened and his voice was cold. “You’re serious, huh?”

  “She’s been good for me.”

  Snorting in disbelief, Adam downed the rest of his beer and crumpled the can in one hand. “No woman is any good, Andrew. They’re all liars, just useless. Sooner or later you’ll realize that.”

  “Strong words, Adam,” Andrew said softly.

  “But all true.”

  “I’m sorry you feel that way,” he replied as he turned to the stairs. Once again, he left his brother alone on the rooftop staring off into the distant blackness.

  “Yeah. Have a good night, bro.”

  When Andrew pulled into Jamie’s driveway, he stared at the darkened house for a moment. Though he knew Jamie was not expecting him, he had the overwhelming urge to see her one last time before he took action. Conflicted thoughts plagued his mind, concern for Adam, fear for the trouble his brother was facing, and worry for the lies his brother had just fed him. In addition to that was his growing suspicion and fear for what he had to do next. Though he knew it was not fair to her, more than anything he needed Jamie’s stability.

  Pressing his finger against the
bell, he waited as the melodious chime echoed through the house. A few moments later he heard the sound of a lock turning, and suddenly Jamie was before him, backlit by the light from the kitchen which cast a halo around her. To him, she was his angel. Her dark hair was hanging loose around her shoulders, tumbling down her back and contrasting sharply with the infamous red bathrobe. Returning his gaze to her clear, beautiful face, he noted the broad smile that reached her sparkling, dark eyes. She pushed the door open, and he reached for her eagerly. Enveloping her in his arms, he pulled her close and buried his face in her hair.

  “Wow, what a nice surprise,” she gasped.

  When he did not answer, she reached out and closed the door behind him with one hand while the other held him close. Once the door was locked, she guided him the sofa in her great room and pushed him down. He sat heavily, his hands remaining around her hips as she followed and straddled his thighs. Her hands went to his face. They were cool and gentle against his rough cheeks. She leaned forward and kissed him several times, light and warm kisses against his lips, cheek and chin.

  “What happened?”

  “It’s Adam... Jamie, I don’t know what to do. I needed to see you,” he replied. Though he did not doubt she knew of his need, his hands tightened around her hips.

  “I can tell,” she said with a chuckle.

  “Let’s talk later.”

  ***

  Jamie lay nestled in the crook of Andrew’s arm, her cheek pressed against the smooth skin of his chest. She listened to the strong and steady beat of his heart which had slowed considerably after their urgent lovemaking. While accustomed to his varying moods and unexplainable tension, tonight there was something more tangible about his distress. Though he was not yet speaking, she was concerned about what was to come. With his arms wrapped around her securely, Jamie felt enveloped yet it was a hollow feeling. He just was not there. His mind was miles away. Something had happened. Something bad.

  Her hand crept up to his smooth chest and she began tracing small lines across the various muscles of his chest. She smiled as she thought how unlikely a couple they were, how crazy their situation was. But she had no regrets; instead, she was happier than she had been in years. She foresaw a long and happy lifetime with Andrew, regardless of his past.