by Mike Ryan
“No, Alex. You look…” Turner said, clenching his fist.
“Well, Mr. You Did It Again…you did it again,” Cole joked.
Turner looked at him and sighed, wondering why he said it. He knew she was nervous and instead of calming her fears, he only stroked them further. He sat down in the chair and slumped his shoulders forward, wondering how long the next appearance would take. It actually was much shorter than he was expecting. About five minutes later, Parker came out of the bedroom again, this time in a much simpler outfit. She had on jeans and a plain blue t-shirt.
“How’s this?” she asked, her nerves getting to her so much that her arms started shaking.
“Fine. Fine. You look great,” Turner replied.
She could feel the sweat on her face again and wiped it off. She looked bad. She knew it. He was just too nice to tell her. “I look awful. You don’t have to say it.”
“No, you don’t!”
“I look like I’m going to a pizza joint or something,” she huffed, walking back to the bedroom.
Turner put his arm out as if he was about to say something to stop her, but then thought better of it. He looked at Cole again, who simply gave him a shrug. Turner slumped back down in the chair again.
“Well, we could always try dinner tomorrow night if she gets out in time,” Turner joked, much to Cole’s amusement.
“Next time she comes out, just walk past her and lock the door so she can’t get back in,” Cole said, half joking.
Five more minutes went by, and Parker emerged once more, this time sporting a different dress. It was a very simple blue dress, no sleeves, and went half way down her thighs. She could feel both men looking at her, and she could tell that they didn’t approve. She started trembling again.
“Alex, you’re shaking,” Turner noticed.
“Yeah, I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” she told him. “I’ve never felt like this before.”
Turner came over to her and put his arms around her to try and calm her fears. He gently kissed her lips. “Everything’s going to be fine. You have nothing to worry about.”
“How do I look this time?”
“Same as you did before…”
“Oh great,” Parker said, breaking free of his grasp to go change again.
“No, no, no, no, no, no!” Turner yelled, running to the door and standing in front of it to block her from going back in.
“What are you doing?”
“Alex, you look perfect. The same as you did the other two times,” he told her, caressing the sides of her face. “Everything about you…is perfect.”
“I wish I believed that.”
“Why wouldn’t you?”
“Because every parent wants the best for their child. When you meet your child’s girlfriend, you’d hope that they’re bringing someone into their life who is as good as they are. I guess that’s what scares me.”
“I’m not sure I understand,” Turner said, scrunching his face.
“Every parent would like to believe that their son or daughter is bringing home someone who’s as good a person as they are, if not better.”
“And?”
“And instead…you’re bringing home me. I guess that’s what terrifies me,” she told him.
“What? Are you saying that you’re not good enough for me?”
Parker shrugged.
“Why would you ever think that?”
“Because of who I am. What I’ve done. I’ve killed people for a living, Ryan. What father want his son to be with someone like that?” she asked, tears forming in the corner of her eyes.
Cole turned away from the pair for a few seconds, wishing he had some words of comfort for her. He knew if any existed, though, he wouldn’t be the one who’d be able to share them.
“All this time, I’ve always thought I wasn’t good enough for you,” Turner stated. “Have you always felt like this?”
“Well, killing people isn’t exactly great for your self esteem. For self confidence, it’s great…self esteem, not so much.”
“Alex, just relax,” he said, planting a kiss on her lips. “My father will love you. Just be yourself.”
“If I be myself, I might stab him with a fork,” she said with a laugh, choking back the tears.
Turner smiled. “You have a great sense of humor, you’re kind, caring, humble, intelligent, not to mention beautiful. But your best quality isn’t any of those things,” he said, putting her hand in his. “Your best quality, is what’s in here,” he told her, putting their hands on her heart.
Parker couldn’t fight back the tears any longer, a steady stream of them running down her cheeks.
“Couldn’t have said it better myself,” Cole whispered.
“I just want to be the person that a parent would hope for their child,” she repeated, dabbing at her eyes.
“And you will be. I will be with you every step of the way,” Turner reassured. “I know this is all new to you, and it’s a little scary, but you’re not doing this alone. You’ll be with me, and I’ll be by your side the entire time. I promise.”
“You better…or else I’ll stab you with a fork,” she laughed through the tears.
Turner smiled. “We’ll get through this.”
Parker nodded, feeling the slightest bit better. But she knew she wouldn’t feel completely fine until the night was over. The tears finally stopped flowing and she went to the bathroom to clean up her face, to wash away any evidence that the tears ever existed.
“Nice job, lover boy,” Cole applauded. “That was actually a pretty good speech.”
“Thanks. We all have our talents. You have yours and I have mine.”
“You just better hope that hers don’t show up while you’re all sitting around the dinner table, if you know what I mean,” he kidded.
“Yeah,” Turner gulped, shuddering at the thought.
After a half hour of small talk, and Parker trying to keep her nerves intact, everyone left. Parker and Turner went to his sister’s house for dinner, while Cole went to do some surveillance on Misty Sweet’s residence. Although they hoped they’d have the good fortune of finding Arsenyev at her place, they didn’t think they’d be so lucky. But, if she really was his girlfriend, hopefully she’d lead them to him.
Turner drove, while Parker sweated out the ride in the passenger seat, gripping the sides of the bucket seat almost the entire way over. Turner put on the radio to the country station, hoping that would calm her nerves a little bit. Didn’t seem to work though. Once they pulled into the driveway of Vicki’s house, Turner turned off the engine and got out. Parker didn’t even unbuckle her seatbelt, sitting there like she was tranquilized. She looked at the house and tried to give herself a pep talk, though it didn’t seem to be working. Turner opened her door and offered to take her hand to help her out. She unsnapped her seatbelt and took his hand, squeezing it tightly as they walked toward the door.
“I can do this,” she whispered, breathing heavily. “I can do this. I can do this.”
“You’ll be great. Vicki and Brad already love you, you know that.”
“Uh huh.”
“Just relax,” Turner told her, hoping she wasn’t going to hyperventilate. “You ready?” he asked as they reached the door.
“Uh…no. I think I left something in the car,” she said, trying to turn around.
“Hey, hey, hey,” he said, not relinquishing her hand and stopping her from going back. He gently kissed her lips and hugged her. “It’s going to be fine.”
“It’s gonna be fine,” she repeated. “It’s gonna be fine. It’s gonna be fine.”
Turner opened the door, slowly opening it as the two of them stepped inside. When he stopped by earlier, his dad wasn’t there, but he mentioned to his sister how nervous Alex was to meet him. Vicki said she’d do what she could to help her relax. As soon as Vicki heard them come in, she hurried into the living room to greet them, giving both a hug.
“So glad you’re both h
ere,” Vicki happily told them. “You’re just in time for dinner. It’s basically ready.”
“Dad and Brad?” Turner asked. “Hey, just realized how much that rhymes,” he said with a laugh, though nobody found it as amusing as he did.
“They’re in the kitchen talking sports. Baseball and hockey and such. Where’s Jim?” Vicki asked, looking around.
“Oh, he couldn’t make it. He wanted to, but he had some important work stuff that came up. It really couldn’t wait,” Turner answered.
“Oh, that’s too bad. I understand though. That’s the business you guys are in now, right?”
“Yep.”
Vicki looked at Parker, who had a blank expression on her face. She’d never seen Parker look like that before. She glanced at her brother, who nodded, assuring her that Parker would be fine once she settled in. Vicki led the pair into the kitchen, Parker squeezing Turner’s hand so tight, he thought it might fall off. Once they walked into the kitchen, and saw Turner’s father, the pain he felt in his hand only intensified. He actually had to put a smile on his face just to prevent everyone from seeing the immense pain he was feeling from his girlfriend’s death grip.
“Well, everyone else already knows Alex except dad, so, dad, this is Alex. Alex…my dad,” he introduced.
Parker was deathly silent until Turner nudged her in the arm with his elbow. “Oh…hi,” she said, quickly plastering a smile on her face.
“It’s so nice to finally meet you,” Mr. Turner said, coming around the counter to shake her hand.
“OK, everyone, dinner is ready,” Vicki stated.
Parker and Turner took chairs next to each other, with Vicki and Brad across from them. Mr. Turner sat at the head of the table, his children on both sides of him. Vicki made steak, with mashed potatoes and corn, their father’s favorite. As they were eating, Mr. Turner tried some small talk to try and get to know Alex better.
“So, Alex, I hear you’re in the spy game,” he stated, trying to inject some humor.
Alex had just put a piece of steak in her mouth and almost spit it out upon hearing the spy word. She then cleared her throat and took a sip of water, glancing at Ryan. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry…the steak was a little hotter than I thought,” she lied.
“It’s OK,” Vicki replied. “I should’ve let it cool off a few more minutes.”
“Uhh, yeah, umm, uh huh…yeah, I do, though I’m almost done,” Parker answered.
“Getting out, huh?” Mr. Turner asked.
“Yeah, it’s almost time.”
“So have you ever had to kill anybody?”
Parker started shaking and slowly put her left hand on the table, grabbing a knife, squeezing it with all her might. Turner’s eyes almost popped out of his head when he saw her reach for the knife. He quickly scanned the table, though nobody else noticed what she was doing. He put his hand on her wrist to prevent her from moving it any further, hoping to ease her nerves. After a few seconds, she regained her composure.
“Uhh, yeah, occasionally I’ve had to,” she quietly replied.
“That’s a shame.”
“Yeah.”
“Dad, no more work talk while we’re eating,” Vicki told him, seeing Parker’s subdued demeanor. “It can wait till later.”
They continued eating, with not another word about Parker’s chosen profession, instead, focusing on Vicki and Brad’s relationship. That suited Parker perfectly. As long as someone else was getting dissected, she’d be fine. The rest of dinner went by pretty smoothly. As they were finishing up their dessert, Turner nodded to his sister, then to Parker, who wasn’t looking.
“Dishes,” his lips read, hoping his sister could read what he was saying.
Vicki countered with a finger, pointing to herself and Parker, then at the plates on the table, getting positive head nod from her brother. Turner wanted the chance to talk to his father alone for a few minutes without his girlfriend present.
“Well, why don’t you boys go into the living room and talk sports or something,” Vicki told them. “Alex and I can clear the table. Do you mind giving me a hand, Alex?”
“Uhh, no, not at all,” she replied.
The three men all stepped into the living room while the girls cleaned off the table and took care of the dishes. Brad turned on the TV, putting on a baseball game, as Turner pulled his father to the side to talk to him.
“Hey, dad, about Alex,” Turner began.
“She seems like a great girl,” his father responded. “Seems a little quiet though.”
“Well, that’s kind of what I wanted to talk to you about. She’s not really all that quiet. I mean, she’s not a big talker, but she’s funny, smart, and…and…”
“You seem all twisted up,” he laughed. “What’s the matter?”
“I guess what I’m trying to say is that she’s just extremely nervous.”
“About what?”
“About you. She’s so nervous about meeting you.”
“Why?”
“Well, I told you before, about her parents. Well, they died when she was a kid and she was an orphan through her whole childhood. She was recruited into the CIA when she was like seventeen. She never did this before, dating, meeting parents, family dinners, it’s all new to her.”
“So that’s why she looked like a deer caught in the headlights,” Mr. Turner laughed.
“Just try to be patient and understanding, she’s really a great person once she gets comfortable. This is just not her typical surroundings.”
“I can understand that.”
“She just really wants you to like her. She’s just afraid because of her past and what she’s done for the government, you know, with killing people, that you’d disapprove of her.”
Mr. Turner made a face and shook his head in denial. “You know I’d never judge somebody on that. It’s who you are on the inside that counts, not what you do.”
“I know that and you know that, but she doesn’t. She so badly wants your approval. She has some self esteem issues, you know from everything that’s happened to her. You know, she put on three different outfits before coming here. She wanted to look perfect for when you met her.”
“Well, she succeeded cause she’s a very pretty girl. I’m happy for you if you guys are in love. Vicki says you two are gonna wind up getting married. You think she might be the one you settle down with?”
“I dunno. Still a little early for that, but maybe if things go the way they are.”
“Well, if you’re thinking that way then I think she must be a pretty special person,” Mr. Turner said.
“She is. She really is.”
His father nodded, understanding the delicate nature of the situation. “Don’t worry about it. Let’s go make her more comfortable,” he said, patting his son on the back.
They sat on the couch and watched a few minutes of the ballgame until the girls came out. Though Parker no longer looked like she was about to pass out, she still hadn’t gotten the best of her nerves yet.
“So, Alex, what do you plan on doing after you leave the CIA?” Mr. Turner asked.
“Uhh, I really don’t know yet. I’m gonna take a little time off and figure it out.”
“If you don’t mind me asking, how come you’re getting out? You’re still very young, seems like you have a lot of years left ahead of you.”
“Yeah, I’m just getting tired of the work. It takes a lot out of you with traveling and such. I’m usually not in the states more than a week or two at a time and it’s just finally gotten to me. Been doing it for over ten years and I’m just drained.”
“Plus she met me,” Turner smiled, chiming in.
Parker finally let out a real smile when she looked at Ryan. “That was a factor too. Probably the biggest one. I didn’t want to be away anymore,” she said as he put his arm around her. “I just needed something to keep me here.”
Mr. Turner looked at the two of them and smiled. “You guys look happy together. I hope you always remai
n that way.”
“Thanks, dad.”
“Alex, I know I don’t know you that well yet, hopefully we’ll get to know each other better in the future. But I already know you must be a pretty special person to have taken Ryan’s heart,” he said, hoping that would help her to relax.
It seemed to have worked, at least temporarily. As soon as the words left his lips, Parker appeared to loosen up a little. She wasn’t sitting so rigidly, and some of the color came back to her face. As they continued to talk, Parker felt more at ease with her surroundings. Turner’s father continued talking in a way that made her feel more comfortable, like she was already part of the family. With the baseball game playing in the background, they talked for a little while longer, everyone getting some words in. After another two hours, Parker figured it was time to go, though she was actually enjoying herself. She wasn’t in a hurry to leave, but she did want to check in with Cole, and make sure he wasn’t in any kind of trouble himself. Though the others understood them having to leave, they were hoping the couple would stay a little longer.
“Do you have to leave so soon?” Vicki disappointedly asked.
“I’m afraid so,” Parker replied. “Cole’s working on something really important and I need to check in with him.”
“I understand.”
“Hopefully we’ll be able to get together again soon,” Mr. Turner stated.
“I would like that,” Parker said with a warm smile, genuinely meaning it.
“Good. It was really nice meeting you.”
“You too,” she said, not knowing if she should end on a handshake or a hug.
Moving somewhat robotically, she put her hand out then decided a hug would be better. Mr. Turner embraced the warm gesture and returned the hug. She then hugged Vicki and Brad, as Vicki walked them out the door to their car. The three of them stood by the car and talked about how the evening went.
“Everything went pretty well, huh?” Vicki excitedly asked, happy with how things turned out.
“I would say so, don’t you think?” Turner responded.
“Yeah, I guess it went OK. At least after a while, anyway,” Parker said.