This chapter and the last have described the set and setting of our studies: who volunteers were, and in what circumstances and studies they received DMT. Earlier chapters reviewed what we know about the drug itself. Now that the tripod of set, setting, and drug is complete, we can begin following the spirit molecule to where it leads.
9
Under the Influence
Describing what it’s like in the DMT realms is about as easy as giving words to scaling a mountain peak, sexual orgasm, undersea diving, and other nonverbal but breathtakingly profound experiences. However, since most of us will never participate in a DMT research project, I will try to provide a general overview of what happens after receiving various doses of intravenous DMT.1
In our volunteers, a full dose of IV DMT almost instantly elicited intense psychedelic visions, a feeling that the mind had separated from the body, and overpowering emotions. These effects completely replaced whatever had occupied their minds just before drug administration. For most people, psychedelic doses of DMT were 0.2, 0.3 and 0.4 mg/kg.
Effects began within seconds of finishing the 30-second DMT infusion, and people were fully involved in the psychedelic worlds by the time I finished clearing the intravenous line with sterile saline 15 seconds later. The peak of the DMT response occurred by 2 minutes, and volunteers felt as if they were coming down at 5 minutes. Most were able to talk about 12 to 15 minutes after drug injection, even though they remained moderately intoxicated. Nearly everyone felt relatively normal at the 30-minute point.
We measured levels of DMT in the blood frequently after injecting it and verified that the time course of psychological effects and DMT blood levels overlapped exactly. That is, blood levels of DMT reached their peak at 2 minutes and were nearly undetectable at 30. Since the brain actively transports DMT across the blood-brain barrier into its confines, it’s reasonably certain brain levels of DMT rose as quickly as blood levels.
Lower doses of DMT, 0.1 and 0.05 mg/kg, generally were not psychedelic, but certainly produced some psychological effects. These were primarily emotional and physical, although some particularly sensitive people had significant psychedelic and physical responses to even these low doses. In fact, some volunteers dropped out because they didn’t like the intensity of 0.05 mg/kg. We also excused other subjects after this small dose because their blood pressure response made us worry about how their hearts would hold up after eight times that amount the next day.
While the profound psychological effects of DMT were progressing, the physical self followed suit with its own constellation of responses. The body initially reacted to a high dose of DMT with a typical “fight-or-flight” stress reaction. Heart rate and blood pressure jumped radically, their time course closely following the psychological responses. After a while we could almost predict how intense a volunteer’s session was by the rise in their blood pressure.
On average, heart rate, or pulse, bolted from about 70 beats per minute up to 100. The range, however, was wide. Some subjects’ pulse climbed up to 150, while others’ got no higher than 95. Blood pressure also jumped from values of about 110/70 to an average of 145/100. Heart rate and blood pressure fell as rapidly as they rose, already beginning to taper off between the 2- and 5-minute recordings.
Every pituitary gland hormone we measured increased rapidly. For example, blood levels of the endogenous morphine-like chemical beta-endorphin begin a steep ascent at 2 minutes following DMT administration and reached their peak at 5 minutes. DMT also stimulated sharp spikes in the release of vasopressin, prolactin, growth hormone, and corticotropin. The last is a hormone responsible for stimulating the adrenal glands, which then release cortisol, a powerful, all-purpose stress steroid similar to cortisone. The elevations of these hormones may have exerted some psychological effects—I’ll discuss this in chapter 21.
Pupil diameter doubled, from 4 millimeters to nearly 8, with a high dose of DMT, with biggest responses at 2 minutes. Body temperature took longer to rise, beginning at 15 minutes and continuing to climb by the time we removed the rectal temperature monitor at 60 minutes.
Of all the biological factors we measured, the only one that did not increase was the pineal gland hormone melatonin. This was startling, and again brought home to me the incredibly mysterious nature of this potential spirit gland.
It may be that outside-administered DMT was not a powerful-enough stimulus to overcome the pineal defense mechanism we’ve discussed previously. While it’s clear that stress hormones rose in response to the spirit molecule, they may not have gotten high enough to stimulate daytime melatonin production.
Another possibility is that exogenous DMT actually did stimulate the pineal to make more of its own endogenous DMT. However, our method of measuring DMT in the blood would not have been able to distinguish between the two sources of the spirit molecule.
Volunteers, of course, did not feel the rise in prolactin or experience in their consciousness their elevated blood pressure. Rather, it was in their minds that the images, feelings, and thoughts defined the essence of the spirit molecule’s effects.
The initial moments of the first non-blind high dose of DMT overwhelmed almost everyone. There was an intense, rapidly developing, and at least temporarily anxiety-provoking “rush” throughout the body and mind. This rush began even before I had finished the saline flush.
It is difficult to do justice in describing the rush. My dictionary uses such terms as “a sudden turbulent movement, drive, or onset; a feeling of urgency or haste; a swift or violent movement.” Almost without thinking, several volunteers blurted out, as effects began, “Here we go!” Some compared this feeling to a “freight train,” “ground zero,” or a “nuclear cannon.” Several people reported that the “breath caught in my throat” or “the wind was knocked out of me.” Those who previously had smoked DMT were at an advantage in being able to anticipate its disorienting onset. However, they believed the rush of IV DMT was more rapid and powerful than that of the smoked method.
Nearly everyone remarked on the “vibrations” brought on by DMT, the sense of powerful energy pulsing through them at a very rapid and high frequency. Typical comments were: “I was worried that the vibration would blow my head up,” “The colors and vibration were so intense I thought I would pop,” “I didn’t think I would stay in my skin.”
This tidal wave of DMT effects quickly led to losing awareness of the body, causing some volunteers to think they had died. This dissociation of body and mind paralleled the development of peak visual effects. We typically heard phrases like: “I no longer had a body,” “My body dissolved—I was pure awareness.” There seemed to be a clearly identifiable sense of movement of consciousness away from the body, such as “falling,” “lifting up,” “flying,” a feeling of weightlessness, or rapid movement.
Some male volunteers, but no females, experienced localized sensations in their genitals. While sometimes these were pleasurable, for others they were emotionally neutral or bland. No one ejaculated.
The rush of early effects almost inevitably caused some fear and anxiety. However, most volunteers quickly settled in to the experience within 15 to 30 seconds by deep breathing, physical relaxation, or whatever else they knew would help them to deeply let go. Perhaps because of their previous psychedelic experience, they frequently could separate their emotions from their body’s physical reaction without panicking.
Visual images were the predominant sensory effects of a full dose of DMT. Usually there was little difference between what volunteers “saw” with their eyes opened or closed. However, opening the eyes often caused the visions to overlay what was in the room. This had a disorienting effect, and it was less confusing to keep their eyes closed. That’s one of the reasons we decided to place black silk eyeshades on all the volunteers before we gave any DMT.
Subjects saw all sorts of imaginable and unimaginable things. The least complex were kaleidoscopic geometric patterns, which sometimes partook of “Mayan,” “Islami
c,” or “Aztec” qualities. For example, “beautiful, colorful pink cobwebs; an elongation of light,” “tremendously intricate tiny geometric colors, like being one inch from a color television.”
The colors of this imagery were brighter, more intense, and deeper than those of normal awareness or dreams: “It was like the blue of a desert sky, but on another planet. The colors were a hundred times deeper.” Background and foreground distinctions might merge so that countless images would occupy a volunteer’s visual field. It was impossible to tell what was “in front” and what was “behind.” Many used the term “fourdimensional” or “beyond dimensionality” to describe this effect.
There were more formed, specific visual images, too. These included “a fantastic bird,” “a tree of life and knowledge,” and “a ballroom with crystal chandeliers.” There were “tunnels,” “stairways,” “ducts,” and “a spinning golden disc.” Others saw the “inner workings” of machines or bodies: “inside a computer’s boards,” “DNA double helices,” and “the pulsating diaphragm around my heart.”
Even more impressive was the apprehension of human and “alien” figures that seemed to be aware of and interacting with the volunteers. Non-human entities might be recognizable: “spiders,” “mantises,” “reptiles,” and “something like a saguaro cactus.”
Visual effects lingered as volunteers’ bodies rapidly metabolized the DMT. The room was uncomfortably bright when they removed the eyeshades or opened their eyes. Objects in the room took on a wavy, undulating motion, radiating with their own inner light. Subjects commented on an exaggerated depth perception, sometimes being mesmerized by the patterns in the wooden bathroom door.
A few participants told us of a peculiar breakdown in the normal fluidity of their vision: “Your movements were not your own, they were no longer smooth and coordinated,” and “You guys looked robotic; moving jerkier, more mechanical, geometric.”
About half the volunteers experienced auditory effects: sounds were different, or they heard things that we did not. These were most pronounced during the DMT rush. Sometimes this was little more than intensification of normal hearing. Others became functionally deaf and did not hear the grinding motor of the blood pressure machine or any other outside sounds.
However, it was quite rare for volunteers to hear formed voices or music. Rather, there were simply sounds, variously described as “highpitched,” “whining and whirring,” “chattering,” “crinkling and crunching.” Many remarked on the similarity of DMT auditory effects to those of nitrous oxide, where there is a “wah-wah,” oscillating, wavering distortion of sounds. Occasionally there were the sorts of things one hears in cartoons: comical “sproing, boing” noises.
Sometimes volunteers did lose their bearings and forgot that they were in a hospital or involved in a research study. Bespeaking their mental strength and agility, some retained their perspective even in this condition: “My mind was definitely in a different place, but it was commenting on the state as it was going on.” Nevertheless, there were sessions when the confusion of the initial rush stayed with the volunteer until drug effects began wearing off.
Most people found the high dose of DMT exciting, euphoric, and extraordinarily pleasurable. Sometimes this ecstasy related to the visions. The elation also might come from new insights gained during the session: “I feel great, like I had a revelation.” Often, it was pure bliss without any particular object.
For others the fear and anxiety were nearly unbearable. Comments such as “I hated it. I’ve never been so frightened,” “menacing,” “incredible torture; I thought it would never end” refer to these feelings.
While many research subjects experienced powerful feelings on DMT, both negative and positive, some commented on how unemotional their high-dose sessions were: “I tried to get myself worked up over what I was seeing, but I just wasn’t able to respond emotionally.”
Once DMT effects established themselves, the drug had surprisingly little effect on volunteers’ ability to think and reason. “My intellect wasn’t altered at all. I was just alert to what was unfolding during the experience”; “As I started coming down a little, I got journalistic. I became an observer.”
Others, however, sensed their thinking was abnormal and, in fact, even wondered if DMT might cause psychotic thought processes. “Everything looked right, but just a little off. It seemed as if the clock was just starting to move every time I looked at it. The colors in the room were malevolent.” Another said, “You know how schizophrenics talk about different meanings to things? A leaf on the ground takes on great significance? That kind of thing.”
One common effect was a loss of normal time perception. For example, nearly everyone was surprised at how late in the session it was by the time they found out the time, believing only a few minutes had passed. Nevertheless, there was a sense of timelessness in the peak DMT state: they experienced an enormous amount in those first few minutes.
Volunteers usually found the high dose caused an almost complete loss of control. They felt utterly helpless, incapacitated, unable to function or interact in the “real” world: “I felt like an infant, helpless, unable to do anything.” DMT volunteers decided, at this point, they were happy to be in the hospital! Beyond their own loss of control, some volunteers felt another “intelligence” or “force” directing their minds in an interactive manner. This was especially common in cases of contact with “beings.”
Almost every research subject believed their first non-blind high dose of DMT brought them “higher than they had ever been.” However, this first session usually was more anxiety-ridden than any other high doses they received subsequently. Once volunteers were prepared to lose control, it was easier for them to do so. They understood that the drug experience was essentially safe, that they would live through it and not suffer any psychological or physical damage. What also helped was their growing confidence in our ability to support their regressed condition as our work together progressed.
While the most stunning effects came from the high doses of DMT, smaller ones also produced a variety of responses, many of which volunteers found pleasurable and interesting.
The tolerance study dose, 0.3 mg/kg, was fully psychedelic, and for some was their “dose of choice,” causing the full spectrum of mind-altering effects with slightly less anxiety.
The next lower dose, 0.2 mg/kg, was the threshold at which typical psychedelic effects reliably emerged. Nearly everyone had relatively intense visual imagery, but auditory effects were rare. Some particularly sensitive volunteers preferred 0.2 over 0.3 or 0.4 mg/kg.
The 0.1 mg/kg dose was the least popular. The vibratory energizing effects predominated, but there never was a breakthrough into a full psychedelic experience. Volunteers felt “left hanging,” uncomfortably tense, both physically and mentally. “My body feels like pepper tastes,” one said. “This dose has all the negative physical effects without any of the positive mental ones.”
The lowest dose of DMT, 0.05 mg/kg, was pleasant, and almost all volunteers said they felt like smiling or laughing after receiving it. One volunteer who previously had used heroin thought this dose felt something like that drug: “There was a warm cotton batting sensation.” A few people experienced relatively intense effects from this little bit of DMT we gave on the first day. This warned us that the next day’s large dose might be especially powerful.
For readers familiar with other psychedelics, the effects of DMT must sound more or less typical. While its properties are similar in many ways to those of LSD, mescaline, and psilocybin, there is something peerless about the spirit molecule. I don’t know if this is because it works so quickly or because it possesses a unique chemical structure. Maybe it’s because the brain is familiar with, and actively seeks out, this endogenous psychedelic. Whatever the reasons, at the further limits of the spirit molecule’s reach, volunteers returned with tales of encounters neither they nor I knew were possible. It is to these stories we’ll now turn our att
ention.
Part IV
The Sessions
10
Introduction to the Case Reports
During each DMT session, I took detailed notes of every aspect of that day’s events: what volunteers said and did; how they looked, sounded, and felt to me; the state of the research ward, weather, and world politics; the behavior and emotional tone of others in the room with us, including the research nurse, family or friends of the volunteer, and visitors; and my own thoughts and feelings.
After I got back to my office, I dictated these notes, and my secretary transcribed the dictation into a word-processor file. When printed, these records occupy more than one thousand pages of single-spaced text.
Upon completing a particular DMT experiment, I sent the volunteer a copy of these notes to review. I asked him or her to edit for clarity, accuracy, and completeness, as well as to add anything that may have come to mind since finishing the study. Some volunteers supplemented my records with journal entries, letters, art, and poetry related to their encounters with the spirit molecule.
While most sessions involved psychedelic amounts of DMT, there also were many low-dose and placebo days. These were more relaxed and gave us an opportunity to discuss and work through earlier high-dose sessions. It was quite helpful for volunteers to do this in a less altered, or even completely normal, state of mind. The shock waves elicited by a big DMT experience extended far beyond a single session, continuing to reverberate in all aspects of someone’s life for days, months, or years.
DMT does a lot to our consciousness, but not everything. If we can limit the number of types of experiences DMT produces, we can start focusing on a manageable number of hypotheses to help understand them. Developing coherent and reasonable groupings helps us make sense of the amazingly wide array of stories we’re about to hear.
DMT: The Spirit Molecule: A Doctor's Revolutionary Research into the Biology of Near-Death and Mystical Experiences Page 16