‘Sounds good.’
‘Come over tomorrow afternoon and I’ll show you around. You can meet everyone and decide what you want to do.’
‘Okay.’
‘I’ll send you the address. We need another girl,’ she said, already heading back in the direction she had come from.
‘I’ll be there Mads.’ I waved to her as she headed off. ‘See ya.’
My wounds weren’t that bad, although you wouldn’t have known it from the way Mum drowned me in disinfectant.
‘Surely that’s enough Mum,’ I complained through gritted teeth, as we sat on the edge of the bath in her ensuite and she liberally poured the stuff over me.
‘Well, you wouldn’t want to get an infection,’ she tutted.
‘I don’t think I’m going to get an infection, but I would like a little skin left on my arm,’ I retorted, my discomfort making me ungrateful.
‘Would you rather I didn’t take an interest?’ she asked defensively. We were heading into dangerous territory. I rolled my eyes, but not so that she could see.
After a few moments of silence, she started to pack everything away into the medicine cabinet.
‘You need to look where you’re going, Kit.’
‘I know, Mum.’ I didn’t explain why I had been distracted.
I headed over to Mads’ place the next afternoon after classes. The house was elevated from the pavement and loomed imposingly over me as I looked up at it. It was two-storied and old, in need of a bit of a touch-up and a lot of tender loving care, but that was the way with most of the homes rented out to students by landlords who often lived overseas.
I had no doubt that it was worth a fair bit. It was in a prime position near the university and the house itself was large and charming. The metal gate, set into the middle of a red brick retaining wall, squeaked and opened onto meandering stairs which led up through a reasonably well-tended garden to a plain white front door with a rectangle of stained glass in the top. A small, seventies-style, concrete swimming pool in a roughly oval shape, in need of resurfacing and with a rusty slide on the far side, was set into a wedge of flat land to the left of the stairs. Although it needed some attention, the pale blue water looked inviting.
I rang the doorbell and waited as a series of seemingly endless chimes sounded.
‘Allo,’ came a soft French voice as the door opened. A slightly built man in his mid to late twenties, no taller than me, with a tan complexion and a placid face framed by prematurely thinning dark hair, looked out expectantly.
‘This is Pierre,’ Mads sang exuberantly, clattering down the stairs before I could say a word, ‘he’s a French lecturer … from Mauritius though, not France.’ She clapped him on the back, nearly sending him out of the door.
‘Hi, Kate,’ I said, introducing myself as I wondered whether he needed assistance. Recovering quickly he extended a cool hand.
‘Welcome to our ‘umble abode.’ His voice was lilting and silky. ‘I’m sure Mads weel show you ah-round. We are three boys ‘ere but don’t wohrree we know ‘ow to look after owselves!’
‘Actually, it’s the guys who have to hassle me to do my chores! They do most of the work around here!’ Mads laughed. I could believe it. ‘They know what’s good for them, don’t you Pierre?’
He nodded passively, ‘Of course.’ I liked him instantly, and not just because he did the chores. I didn’t know him, but I recognised an old soul.
The house was old, but appealing in its own way. There were stairs which led down underneath the house to a spa, and doors which opened out onto the slightly dilapidated, but still useable pool area. The available bedroom was on the ground floor. The carpet was a little musty and featured a floral pattern Nanny would have loved, but it was a generous size with large windows letting in the light, and looked out onto the overgrown garden.
‘I’ll take it Mads,’ I decided impulsively, enjoying the view of the scruffy plants outside the window. The rental was almost affordable, I’d just have to make sure I got a job, and I yearned for the independence.
‘Excellent. I can’t wait for you to move in.’ She hugged me briskly before dashing out of the door. The bronze in her kaftan caught the light from the window and made her magical for a moment.
‘Anyway, I’m late. Late, late, late, but I’m very excited that you’re moving in. Love you. Bye,’ she called, dashing off and taking her magic with her.
‘Bye then,’ I said to the draft, closing the window and looking around at the now still and empty room. For a short while I felt excited and then I felt guilty. How would Mum and Dad react?
I told them after dinner, tentatively, the steak I’d just eaten sticking like an echidna in my throat. Mum’s face fell immediately. Her chin quivered and I felt horrible.
‘So soon, Kit?’ I knew she was already blaming herself, wondering what she had done wrong. Nothing Mum, the cuckoo has grown, and soon will be flown.
I’d been at home for less than six months. Life was calmer now that there was less tension between my parents, but it was still difficult. Less tension didn’t mean no tension, and sometimes the most innocent remark, in an otherwise peaceful moment, triggered unexpected volatility. The threat of disaster was always simmering, and I tread carefully, trying to maintain the fragile harmony but it wasn’t my place, not anymore. They needed to work things out.
‘It’s not far, Mum,’ I reassured her. ‘I’ll come and visit you often. You can come and see me too.’
Her attempt at a smile meant a lot. I had expected defensiveness to mask her pain. After all the years I’d been away at school, after all of the pain, Mum and Dad cursing each other, things were a fraction easier now and maybe they had been hoping that I would stick around for a while.
‘It’s not you Mum, or Dad,’ I explained, looking across at him and squeezing his hand. He sat very straight in his chair, his face indecipherable, everything just where it should be. I didn’t need their approval, of course, but I’d feel better if I had it.
‘We know Kit, honestly,’ Mum answered, astonishing me with her quiet acceptance.
‘It makes sense Mum. The travel and …’
‘It will be good for you … I know.’ She blinked and one tear slipped silently down her cheek. Swallowing hard she managed to hold back the others. I felt wretched, my hands moved to my mouth.
‘I’m sorry Mum.’
We sat in silence for a while until Dad started tapping complex rhythms on the table absentmindedly. It became so annoying that neither Mum nor I could dwell on sadness. Maybe that was the point.
‘Dad …’ I began, about to tell him to quit it in the nicest way possible. I didn’t swear, couldn’t even imagine it in my parents’ vicinity. There were certainly instances when the air around Sam was pretty blue, but well, that was between him and me.
‘Of course we’ll still give you your allowance,’ my father said slyly, effectively deflecting my irritation with a knowing grin.
I considered the rental. ‘Err, thanks Dad that would be helpful. I want to look for a job as soon as I can so that you don’t have to worry though.’
‘Let us do this one thing for you, Kate.’ I got it then, the unspoken message behind his words. Don’t take everything, not this soon. An allowance tethered me to them somewhat and they needed that right now. They were afraid.
I nodded. ‘Yes, of course. I appreciate it.’
‘When will you go?’ he asked.
‘I can move in this weekend. The room is vacant already.’ My father gave my mother a grim smile. They’d survived before, they would do it again. This time even I thought things might be better. Now there was a breath of fragile hope, enough to believe in maybe. My mother sighed and stood. She walked around to me and kissed my forehead.
‘You’re our life, Kit-Kat. We’ll miss you,’ she whispered.
‘I know Mum. I love you.’ I turned and held her tightly, her cheek warm and damp against mine.
Dad and I remained at the table, exami
ning the intricacies of the mahogany wood grain. It was beautiful and drew your hands to stroke its smooth sensual surface. It was okay that he didn’t say anything. After a while I offered him a coffee.
14
DEB AND NICK
Days passed and I heard nothing more from Nick. October arrived and with it heat, flies and the last term of school. The days were long and dull. Minutes ticked by slowly in the hot, stuffy classrooms; the air-conditioners strained and wheezed inefficiently in the muggy air. Momentum built through interminable lessons as we waited impatiently for the bell to ring so that we could finally hurtle out into the heavy air, onto the sand and finally into the cool water.
And then after days of endless pale blue sky, melting side-walks and wilting plants, Nick reappeared on the beach. At first he was nothing more than a mirage, a shimmering image on the sand bathed in bright sunlight. I had forgotten his size and his vitality, the vividness of his eyes, but my breath caught only for a moment, before I composed myself, feigning a level of indifference and forcing myself to remain rooted. He didn’t come over and I tried not to look at him but my hand drifted automatically to the necklace I wore under my uniform.
Anna nudged my arm, distracting me. We were sitting in the thin shade of a spindly tree.
‘Isn’t that Nicholas Edwards?’ she asked innocently, forcing me to look over to where he stood.
‘Looks like it,’ I said, pretending disinterest and keeping my eyes focussed on my book.
‘I wonder where they’ve been this time. He looks good, doesn’t he?’ I wished she would move her hand from her brow, make her stare less obvious.
‘Mmm …’ I didn’t look up. She eyed me curiously and then snapped my book shut.
‘What’s up, Deb?’
‘What do you mean?’ I couldn’t help the defensiveness as I ruffled pages trying to find my place again.
‘You used to be friends. I would have thought you might have gone over to say hello, or something?’
I took a breath and tried to speak calmly, but I couldn’t shake the wariness in my voice. ‘We were just acquaintances and he’s been away for ages.’
‘Okay then, whatever you say,’ she said, hurt by my clipped tone. I felt guilty.
‘I’ve got to go Deb.’ She stood abruptly. ‘It’s getting late. I’ll see you tomorrow.’
Throwing my book into my bag I stood. ‘I didn’t mean to be short with you Anna, sorry.’
‘Has it got anything to do with this?’ she asked, pointing towards the necklace I wore. I took the angel in my fingers and tucked it back into my top.
Did it? She hadn’t been fooled by my lie. It was very definitely not a market trinket.
‘It’s okay Deb. Just remember, we’re meant to be friends and what are friends for?’
‘I know,’ I answered, unsure how to explain that since my parents’ split, except for George, my buffer against the world, I struggled to share my burdens with others.
‘Tell George bye, I’ll see him tomorrow.’ She pulled me into a quick hug before leaving with the others and I finished packing up my things, suddenly feeling very exposed. George was still somewhere out there on the slow swells but there were few bathers. It was time to go.
As I dusted sand from my legs, Nick looked across at me. We stared at each other for a long moment before he came over. As he neared I smiled tentatively.
‘Deb,’ he called.
‘You’ve been doing some breaking and entering,’ I said as he reached me, referring to the black box I’d found on my pillow. A small smile touched his lips, but didn’t reach his eyes.
‘Thanks for the birthday present,’ I said, trying not to read anything into his reaction. ‘It’s beautiful … of course.’
‘It looks good on you,’ he answered, barely glancing at it, looking out at the waves instead.
‘Would have been nice if you’d delivered it in person.’ I hefted my bag onto my shoulder.
‘Yes … but it wasn’t possible, unfortunately.’ I looked at him and then to the Three Kings who seemed to lean forward as if to hear our exchange.
‘Oh?’
‘Sorry, it’s lame I know.’ He looked ill at ease, shifting from one foot to the other and making minimal eye contact.
‘So where have you been?’ I asked, a little annoyed that I had to work so hard for information.
‘Family crap, travelling with my father.’
‘You’ve missed a lot of school.’ It sounded petty, but I had to say something. I could see it meant nothing to him. He’d probably had a tutor.
‘You look great.’ He appraised me for a moment before drifting back to the sea. What mysteries floated out there?
‘You too. You obviously didn’t go anywhere cold,’ I said, referring to his tan.
‘Not for long, anyway.’
We both remained silent for an awkward moment before I started to turn, to walk away.
‘I missed you Deb,’ he blurted unexpectedly. My heart raced at his words, but at the same time I was afraid. Shut up, I wanted to shout but I didn’t.
Instead, I let my bag drop to the sand again. ‘Would have been nice if you’d called to let me know you were going away.’
His shrug was infuriating. ‘It was all so sudden.’
‘Surely you could have called from somewhere. Surely you could have found a moment to pick up a phone.’ I cursed myself for letting go, for showing him that he had the power to injure me.
‘I’m so sorry Deb. It’s hard to explain.’
‘Whatever … you’re not obliged to explain to me anyway.’ Bending down I picked up my bag more resolutely.
‘I should have just stayed away from you in the first place.’
‘Well, why didn’t you then?’
He couldn’t answer. ‘We’re going away for a while,’ he said, running his hands through his hair and leaving it wild. He fidgeted, unsure of my reaction, a small rock suddenly in his hand. Luckily it wasn’t in mine.
‘Oh … what’s the problem then?’ I asked sarcastically.
He threw the rock and it landed with a thunk in the damp sand near the water.
‘I have no choice.’
I shook my head. We always have choices, just not necessarily the ones we want. ‘You’ve just got back …’
‘We’re going away for longer this time, six months, maybe a year. A different sort of trip. My folks have a catamaran. They want to sail around the world, a holiday. Pah!’ He tried to smile, but it was more of a grimace. ‘We’re going to leave at the end of the year, immediately after my graduation.’
‘Oh.’ I wasn’t sure what sort of answer he was expecting, what I could manage. A tangle of emotion gnawed away inside me, irritation, anger, frustration, but I also realised it wasn’t only because of him. I needed to let him go.
‘So, a family holiday. That’s nice, I guess.’ I remembered what he’d said about his relationship with his parents.
He remained silent, but staring at me with an intensity I did not understand. Not in the current context. This time I was the one to turn away to the ocean.
‘How will you go, stuck with your folks in a confined space for that long?’
‘It’s going to be hard, hopefully we’ll make it back alive.’ His smile was crooked, maybe only half joking. ‘It’s something my folks have always wanted to do, and with me graduating, I guess they think we’ll never do it as a family if we don’t do it now. It’s a while to go before we leave, but I wanted to tell you.’
‘You wanted to prepare me.’ I laughed wickedly, shaking my head. He was letting me down the nice way, or so he thought. But why the mixed messages, why send me the necklace after all of this time? It just wasn’t fair.
I gazed back at the vastness of the ocean, tumultuous blue stretching out to touch the endless white horizon. The three grey men tutted to me. ‘Let him go, girl.’
‘You should go.’
‘Yes,’ he said, reaching out to touch me for the first time, to stop me
for a moment.
‘Friends?’ I looked down at his tanned fingers on my arm, my own clutching my bag straps rigidly. What was he asking of me?
‘Will that make you feel better?’ I asked, moving my arm, so that his fingers fell away. He froze.
It was only one kiss, I thought. One kiss. Stop being so dramatic, Deb!
‘Thanks for telling me anyway, Nick.’ Now my voice was deceptively cool, calm.
‘But friends?’ I said. ‘I don’t know.’
He looked at me sadly, but didn’t speak.
‘Friends would be a struggle for me right now to be honest.’
‘I’m sorry Deb.’ He looked down for a moment and then back at me
‘Mum’s home early tonight, I’ve got to go.’ I flashed a brave smile before I turned and headed quickly across the sand. I didn’t look back.
‘I’ll see you around Deb,’ he called, but I did not reply.
As I walked up the road, I yanked off the necklace, almost throwing it to the ground. I wanted to scream and stamp my feet like a spoilt child. Why send it to me? Why raise my hopes? That was cruel. Just like going away and not bothering to call and then saying he’d missed me. Rejection stung, self-pity irritated my eyes, but I swallowed it down in a lump and continued to move.
‘That you, Deb?’ Mum called from the shower when I got home, slamming the door so hard the walls vibrated. I was so preoccupied I’d forgotten she would be there.
‘Oops, yes Mum,’ I answered. Marching to my room I closed the door more quietly. I returned the necklace to its box and placed it at the bottom of my jewellery case, determined that if I wasn’t going to chuck it, I would at least avoid looking at it.
There was a soft knock on my door. ‘You okay?’ Mum poked her head into my room. She was still flushed and wrapped in her towel.
‘Just one of those days, Mum. You know?’ I folded my arms behind my head and stared up at the ceiling.
‘I know, Deb.’ She stepped into the room and sat on the edge of the bed, her hands resting on my legs. ‘Would a manicure help? I’ve got a great new colour, really bright, Fuchsia. You’ll love it. And you got all the buffers and lotions from Elizabeth for your birthday. Let’s have some girl time tonight.’
Awakening: Book 1 The Last Anakim Trilogy Page 11