‘Responsible how?’ I asked, guessing that he meant more than a phone call the day after.
He took a moment and then began to explain. ‘Usually the transitioning process occurs sometime between the ages of thirteen and twenty-one. It can take a while, but it’s usually obvious once it starts. Most find humans slightly aversive … in a physical way … as soon as they begin their transformation. Afterwards they are no longer attracted to them at all, so it’s a non-issue. That’s the way it’s supposed to be.’
‘O-kay,’ I stammered when he came to a stop.
‘Sofia was different. Of course, she wasn’t the first, it had happened before. She chose to be with Deb’s father sexually and to produce a child.’
‘And what then?’
He huffed and puffed and then seemed to gather himself. ‘I think the best way to say this is just to get it out.’
‘I couldn’t agree more.’ Let it be a quick death, not slow and agonising. I gazed at him expectantly. Surely nothing could beat the now breakdancing blood suckers in my mind.
‘Kate,’ he said, his voice matter of fact, ‘our family are descendants of angels.’ I continued to gaze at him, although my lower lip had dropped slightly and the rest of my features had arranged themselves into a pattern louder than any words. Yep, clearly insane, the poor bugger.
He continued regardless. My fingers found reassurance in the solidity of the mobile in my coat pocket. If I had to call for an ambulance I could do so quickly. I tried not to imagine what I might say to the dispatcher.
‘Do you know anything about the offspring of angels and human beings?’ He was clearly not daunted by my expression which was gradually evolving into some approximation of the figure in the painting, The Scream, by Edvard Munch.
‘You’ve got me there.’ I shook my head too hard. Unruly curls whipped across my face and slashed streaks of lip-gloss across my cheeks. Pushing them away I tried to rub the sticky patches unobtrusively. ‘I didn’t even know there was any such thing ... outside of novels, anyway.’
‘You can read about it in Genesis, about God’s sons, angels who were attracted to human women, who procreated and created aberrations, called Nephilim.’
I stopped and turned to him. ‘Nick, just to be clear are you saying, Sofia was some type of angel and so it wasn’t okay for her to … err … have sex with my grandfather?’
‘Yes,’ he said quietly. We regarded each other for a weighty moment and I felt I was quite justified in a little nail-biting. Actually I was starting to feel like sticking my whole hand down my throat.
‘I wish that I hadn’t skipped all those RE classes to practice piano.’
‘Sofia’s child was fallen,’ he continued. ‘The offspring of an angel and human union is a hybrid, neither human nor angel but with supernatural abilities used to spread darkness. They are a part of the darkness and it is an immutable part of them.’
I shook my head as his words confounded me. ‘Why would Sofia do that, Nick? I thought angels did good things.’
‘Humans and angels have something called agency. It’s the ability to make our own decisions and act on them. Free will, if you like.’
‘Her choice doesn’t make sense though, given the consequences.’
‘We’re not righteous anymore. We are all a bit fallen because of the choices made by those who lived in the past.’ He shrugged. ‘But as far as Sofia goes specifically, I don’t know what she was thinking at the time, why she did that. I never knew her.’
The shadows were lengthening quickly now. The last warmth was draining away. ‘The hybrids are not a little fallen though, Kate. They are like weapons of mass destruction. They have amazing abilities and little fear. They are capable of destroying life as we know it.’
I honestly just didn’t know what to say at that point. It all seemed so completely unbelievable.
‘Put simply,’ he stated, his face increasingly earnest, ‘the offspring of a union between an angel, even one who is not perfect, and a human is an aberration. Left unchecked, the world would become a place of suppurating evil.’
‘So she killed the child,’ I said, finally understanding. ‘And then she killed herself.’
‘She made the choice to procreate in that way and ultimately she realised the true consequences of her decision. There was nothing else she could do to change the outcome.’
He looked at me and I looked at him, and then I looked at my finger nails and chewed on them some more. They didn’t deserve to be chewed, but it seemed inappropriate to make another joke to deflect my uneasiness.
‘Of course what happened with Sofia certainly impacted on my family not wanting me to have anything to do with Deb. I’d only just been born when Sofia and Erik died. It wasn’t spoken of as I grew up. My parents only told me about it when I was much older. They hadn’t wanted questions … suspicion. Sofia told Deb’s father that the baby had died at birth. He believed it because Erik arrived early, but that wasn’t the truth. Erik and Sofia lived in Three Kings at our family home for a number of years, under close supervision before …’
‘… she killed him,’ I finished, my voice flat.
‘Erik was an aberration.’
‘How can you ask for my understanding?’ My stomach churned. ‘He was only three, and the truth is you never knew him.’ My voice sounded thin, feeble like a breath of air might steal it away. I coughed to hide the choking sensation, the constriction in my throat.
When he spoke his voice was filled with despair. ‘He was a beautiful boy. Looked just like her.’
‘Murder,’ I whispered.
His eyes flicked up to mine. ‘I don’t expect you to understand it all right now, Kate. It’s a terrible shock. Maybe you will one day, but it will take time.’ He fell silent. We watched the endless parade of mutts and in the distance a car squealed, as though alive. ‘My parents kept a photo of him,’ he finally said.
One photo, the only remaining proof of the short life of a child. He died before he could live, already damned in the womb. ‘So like Sofia, only so much more … dangerous.’
My smile was without humour. ‘He was only three, barely old enough to string a three word sentence together. The only way he was doing any damage was with a high pitched wail to the eardrum.’
‘There were issues. I think that at first they hoped he would be different. There hadn’t been a baby like Erik in so many generations … But at the end of the day, it was what it was, what it always had been. Sofia knew. She made the decision in the end.’
I shrugged my shoulders hard, surprising Sam and almost dislodging him. Could there ever be circumstances which would justify such an action? I couldn’t imagine them. What I could imagine at this point, was a completely deluded family making irrational, superstitious decisions. ‘That sounds crazy, like killing a child who hits another because he might grow up to be a psychopath,’ I said passionately.
‘There was no might about it, Kate. Sofia killed herself and her son, because of what was already occurring.’ I listened to the lunacy of what he was saying. I wondered about the role of genetics in mental illness and in sleep disorders and felt sickened by what I had just heard.
Suddenly he sounded tired. ‘There are so few of us remaining.’ He looked to the heavens and I wondered who watched from there.
‘Are you an angel, Nick?’
‘I am not an angel in the way that Sofia was an angel but I am of that line, as are you, which means that I am also not fully human. I never transitioned but Daniel did shortly before he died.’ His eyebrows formed a sharp V as he examined his hands. ‘These days it doesn’t always work out the way it should. A reflection maybe of the state we live in.’
The trees swayed, the leaves chattering unintelligibly like many very tiny and excited aliens had just arrived on planet earth. The sound died. ‘Could I turn into some kind of monster?’
His haunted expression suddenly became emphatic. ‘No, no, Kate. Erik was born that way.’
‘But wh
at about Daniel?’
‘Daniel,’ he repeated quietly. ‘Well, it wasn’t surprising that one of my brothers transitioned. Our parents were both of the same line. But I never transitioned, and Deb is human so it’s extremely unlikely that you will transition.’
‘So the issue is only with fully transitioned angels and humans then?’
He nodded.
‘What about the sleep issues I’m having, the night terrors?’
‘Runs in the family I’m afraid.’ He sounded apologetic. ‘Which is not to say there’s not something a little different about you.’
‘Like what?’
The golden light of the setting sun reflected in his eyes. ‘Your presence is significant, Kate.’
I took a moment to consider whether clarifying his statement was a good idea, but couldn’t help myself.
‘Why?’
He took a deep breath and spoke with more force, as though saying it louder would bring home the importance to me. ‘Because there have been no others. Not for a very long time. No new arrivals. You are the very last in our line.’
I stood and turned away from him. Suddenly I noticed that the afternoon was completely lost, that the creeping cold had sunk its teeth into the day … and into my life.
26
DEB AND NICK
I examined Nick as he lay with his eyes closed. A faint pulse beat on his forehead. Touching his skin lightly I felt the warm throb of it beneath my fingers. Moving down to his jaw I rubbed the tips of my fingers against the roughness there and then I touched his hair, running up from the back, from where it was recently short and spiky to the tousled part on top. Taking a handful I pulled on it gently.
‘You’re an angel, Deb,’ he murmured sleepily as I nestled back into him. We remained that way for a long while, curled together, his arm thrown protectively over me. It felt so good. Too good. I thought about the questions he had raised about his family and my family.
He opened an eye. ‘You look pensive.’
‘I’m irritating myself, trying to stay in the moment but it’s not working.’ He took the pendant which hung around my neck between his fingers.
‘It wasn’t so hard earlier.’ He grinned and my lips twitched in reply.
‘Does this help?’ His lips found the curve of my side.
‘Ooh, that tickles.’ I thrashed around like a flea after too much sugar.
‘Stop, stop. I give up,’ I cried. ‘I’m only thinking cheerful thoughts from now on.’
He leapt out of the bed. ‘Good.’
He led me to the shower, turning on the water with one hand while holding mine with the other. ‘Are you okay?’ He looked pointedly at me.
Suddenly I was shy. My cheeks warmed. ‘What do you mean?’
‘Does it hurt … there I mean?’ He touched me gently.
‘A little.’
‘Come,’ he said, pulling me into the warm water with him. We kissed as it cascaded over our heads and into our mouths. Almost choking we broke apart laughing.
‘Doesn’t work as well as in the movies,’ he remarked.
Afterwards he tossed me a thick white towel.
‘You must be hungry. It’s way past lunchtime.’
I hadn’t thought about the time, but now that he had mentioned it there was no escaping the hunger which gnawed at me like a giant rat. Nodding enthusiastically I slipped into the white bathrobe he held out for me. ‘How come I’m always famished when I’m with you?’
He chuckled wickedly. ‘I know how to work up an appetite. That’s why!’ Grabbing the cord of my gown he tied it up for me. ‘Hopefully I can also satisfy it!’
My heart was light as I followed him out of his room but as I stepped across the threshold a wave of uneasiness washed over me. It was as though inside his room we had been on another planet, separate and safe somehow, but now we’d returned to earth with a thud and something waited, something not altogether pleasant. The feeling was strange, irrational, but it also felt like the truth, and the truth was that we were no longer alone. Nick was unaffected. His expression was confused when he turned back to me.
‘What is it?’ He reached for my hand.
I stood cautiously, three or four steps in front of his doorway, like a deer heading out of the forest and down to the waterhole. Psychic intuition wasn’t usually my thing, but right now something was creeping me out.
My eyes darted to corners in which shadows hid. ‘I don’t know, exactly. Something doesn’t seem right.’
I never saw another presence as such, not with my eyes, but I could feel it. It was like there was someone in the passage behind us, someone … or something, skulking in the shadows and blending with the background, to the point that it was almost invisible.
‘Is someone there?’ I called tentatively.
Nick shook his head as though I were mad. ‘It’s just you and I. There’s no-one else here.’
But the air had changed. It was as though it had suddenly gained mass and become something. I was certain that he noticed it just then too. His demeanour adjusted slightly and the fire in his eyes went out. He shifted, eager to get away, or that was my interpretation anyway.
‘Come, Deb.’ He sounded impatient.
‘Whose room is that?’ I asked, resisting his pull and pointing to the door at the end of the hallway. It was closed but the air seemed to be travelling listlessly in that direction.
‘It’s Daniel’s.’ He hesitated. ‘But he’s not here. No-one is here, it’s just you and I.’
‘It feels like something is here,’ I said.
He shrugged, but his shoulders were tight. ‘It’s just the skeletons I was telling you about, Deb.’
A drape flapped wildly at the window and he looked relieved. Moving across to it he closed the window. The drapes settled. ‘See. That’s all it is. The weather is changing. You’re imagining things. Maybe it’s the lack of food. Come and eat.’
Maybe he was right. As he spoke, the air seemed to clear. Had it been nothing more than the day letting go for a moment and then gathering itself? The sun began to shine again. Nothing more than a moment, a moment which had passed. A moment in which my imagination had added two to three and come up with, what?
Something cold and dark.
‘Come.’ He drew me towards the stairs more forcefully. This time I followed him down, pausing for only a moment to glance back. Something flickered, but maybe it was just the light ... or the cat. The hairs on my neck said otherwise.
‘I’m definitely in need of that food you mentioned,’ I agreed, vowing not to look back again.
By the time we had reached the bottom I was feeling quite myself again. His cooking skills surprised me. Delicious scrambled eggs on toast accompanied by crispy bacon. I poured large glasses of fresh orange juice. We gobbled everything down hungrily at the large country-style kitchen table, our feet touching as we ate in silence. My hair made puddles on the table and dripped down my back.
‘I’m impressed,’ I said, when my plate was almost empty.
‘Don’t get too excited,’ he cautioned. ‘I can do a couple of things and eggs are one of them.’
‘And the other?’
He put his hand to his chin and pretended to consider. ‘The other has nothing to do with food.’
We froze at the sound of footsteps. Shoes ringing out on the courtyard, each footstep echoing ominously. Please don’t let it be his parents, I prayed. My heart hammered unpleasantly. His eyes narrowed as the kitchen door swung open and he focussed on someone behind me, his jaw tight. I was afraid to turn, but I had no choice.
It was Brendan, his brother. I felt relieved even though he was clearly displeased at finding me there. Surely his brother was preferable to his parents. He stood eerily still, a handsome, slightly older, softer version of Nick. His hair was a touch lighter and he looked a little less athletic, but the resemblance was clear in his features and the curl of his hair, his dazzling green eyes.
At last he moved and the spell was brok
en. ‘Who is this?’ he enquired, his voice deep and calm, but demanding nevertheless.
‘This is Deb. Deb this is Brendan, my brother.’ Nick’s voice was a monotone. I wasn’t sure whether he was angry at himself or at Brendan. He’d made the decision, after all, to bring me here. Glancing at me he tried to assess what I was thinking, but I was only waiting, my instinct shifting into survival mode as the raised tension in the room became increasingly palpable.
‘Oh, right,’ I fumbled, aware of the delay in my answer, the robe I was wearing, my wet hair and bare feet. ‘Nice to meet you Brendan.’ My heart hammered.
‘Can I have a word Nicholas?’ Brendan asked curtly. I thought him rude for not making any effort to reply to me. Nick glanced across at me apologetically. His answer to his brother was clipped.
‘What is it?’
I gripped the edge of the table, fearing the conflict which might follow. Noticing, Nick lifted my hand and gave it a squeeze.
‘Don’t worry Deb, I’ll sort this out,’ he said, with a tight smile.
‘In private please,’ Brendan said walking away.
With a loud screech, which made a slinky black cat napping on a small kitchen stool tear from the room, Nick pushed back his chair.
‘I’ll be one minute,’ he told me, squeezing my shoulder briefly as he passed. ‘One minute. Please … don’t move.’ Bending, he kissed me tenderly before following his brother.
I remained where I was, stunned for a moment, before I gathered myself together. So, this was it, the inevitable intrusion, and what would follow? Standing up I cleared the plates and glasses to the sink. My hands shook. From somewhere in the house I heard raised voices.
Of course it had something to do with me. I wasn’t meant to be here with him, was I? I wondered at how my mother would react if she caught me sneaking around the house with a boy she’d never met, only semi-clothed. She wouldn’t be happy, but I think she’d come around, eventually. She was a parent, but she was semi-reasonable.
Awakening: Book 1 The Last Anakim Trilogy Page 19