He stopped. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
She folded her arms across her chest. “What makes you think you hurt me?”
He glanced around the room. “I know how much this place means to you.”
She gave an unconcerned shrug. “Spoils of war. I’ll start over someplace else.”
“Is that a military metaphor?”
“I think it’s in the general lexicon. Why are you here?”
Every second he stayed, she felt herself winding tighter and tighter. He’d hurt her. He’d hurt her badly. But she still had her pride. She would not let him see her break down.
He took one step closer. They were only about six feet apart.
“That last night,” he said.
“You mean the night you duped me?” She gritted her teeth, willing herself not to remember even a moment of that night.
“I didn’t know,” he said.
“Didn’t know what?”
“That Danielle had succeeded. That we’d won the appeal.”
His assertion seemed like a ridiculous splitting of hairs. Her arms dropped back to her sides, and her hands clenched into fists.
“But you knew there was an appeal,” she accused.
“Yes,” he admitted.
“And you expected to win.”
He nodded.
“Yet you pretended it was still a fair fight. That we had weeks.” She stopped for a moment, fearing her voice would crack. “That one of us was going to win based on the referendum.”
He didn’t answer.
“You used sex to distract me.”
Seth opened his mouth to speak.
She didn’t let him. “I did that, too, Seth. There’s no need to apologize. I used every weapon in my arsenal to defeat you, and I wouldn’t have been sorry if I’d won.”
“I’m not sorry I won,” he allowed. “I am sorry you lost.”
She scoffed out a laugh. “You can’t have it both ways.”
“Travis told me about Sierra Hotel.”
“What about it?”
“What you do. The women you serve. Their duty and sacrifice.”
Abigail had obviously told Travis. It didn’t matter. There was no secret left to keep.
“It’s a loss to the country,” Seth said.
“It’s none of your business. Seriously, Seth. You need to go now. We’re done. Everything between us is done.”
“Everything?” he asked, with yet another step toward her.
“Everything,” she assured him, fighting an urge to fall back, then fighting an even stronger urge to rush forward.
As she’d asked herself the night in the mayor’s mansion, a tiny, rebellious part of her brain wondered how much harm it would do to kiss him once more, maybe even sleep with him once more. It would be a chance to say goodbye.
She thought she saw a flash of pain cross his expression. But he quickly neutralized it.
“So that’s all there was?” he asked. “The fight? It was the only thing ever between us?”
“What else would there have been?” she managed airily, her stomach clenching with the effort and her chest hollowing out.
“We made love, Darby.”
“That was sex, Seth.”
“Right.” His jaw tightened, and his blue eyes went hard. “You only slept with me to distract me.”
“I believe I made that perfectly clear at the time.”
Why, oh, why didn’t he leave? She didn’t know how much longer she could keep this up.
“And nothing changed?” he pressed.
“Did anything change for you?” she challenged. “Between the time I first confronted you to the time you went to the appeal court without telling me, did something change? Did you ever stop and think maybe I was right and you were wrong?”
“I wasn’t wrong,” he said.
“You weren’t,” she agreed with finality. “You did what was right for Lyndon, and you can sleep well tonight. I was collateral damage, and I accept that, but you don’t need to stand there and gloat. Now I’m asking you to leave my house. Please go.”
She reached across the desk for another cardboard box, pressing open the flaps, and blindly grabbing the nearest stack of books to place inside.
He was silent for a long moment. When he spoke, there was a hollow tone to his voice. “Goodbye, Darby.”
She didn’t look up. “Goodbye, Seth.”
* * *
Seth stopped on Darby’s front porch, gripping the post at the top of the stairs and closing his eyes as a wave of anguish and regret washed over him. He remembered her sassy jokes, their passionate kisses and how on that last night, they’d made it past each other’s defenses to their hopes and fears. He had to believe those were Darby’s true hopes and fears. He couldn’t imagine she’d been faking everything.
Marta’s voice broke through the jumble of his thoughts. “I’m not sure you’re as much of a jerk as you appear.”
He opened his eyes to see her standing at the bottom of the staircase, feet planted apart, hands on her hips, late-afternoon sun hanging in the sky behind her.
“Is that supposed to be a compliment?” he asked.
“You played your hand very well.”
“I’m not sure about that one, either,” he responded. “Compliment?”
“Actually, it is. I’d have done the same thing you did. But what I don’t get is the sex.”
He couldn’t figure out where she was going. “What’s not to get? It was sex.”
“Darby flirting with you, now that was a tactical maneuver, put you off balance, maybe let your guard down and give her some valuable information. But you actually having sex with her as a tactical maneuver. Well, you’re either a coldhearted son of a bitch who used her for nothing more than physical gratification…”
Seth felt his blood pressure go up.
“Or,” Marta continued, tone laced with speculation, “you had actual feelings for her.”
“I’m not a coldhearted son of a bitch.”
Marta smiled. “That’s what I thought. You know what she’s going to do.”
“Reenlist.”
“That’s right. So if you can think of a single thing you can do to fix this, I’d suggest you do it. And you’d better do it now.”
Seth was afraid to speculate on Marta’s motives, what Darby might have confided in her. He didn’t dare let himself start to hope.
“Why are you telling me this?” he asked, pleading inside that she’d give him something positive to go on.
“Like I said, I don’t think you’re as much of a jerk as you seem.”
“Did Darby say something about me?”
“That’s not a question I can answer.”
“Did she hint she might care about me?” he pressed harder.
“I can’t answer that, either. I can tell you, though, that while some women might sleep with a man solely for the purpose of manipulating him, I’d be shocked to my toes if Darby could pull it off.”
That was good enough for Seth. Marta obviously had reason to believe Darby cared about him. He turned on his heel, deciding it was time for a last-ditch change in tactics.
* * *
Darby hadn’t expected the overwhelming rush of despair that had enveloped her as soon as Seth left the inn. She’d been coping with anger, even loneliness for the past few days. But right now she felt like she was under water, as if the sunlight and oxygen had been sucked out of her world.
She swiped at a tear with the back of her hand, telling herself she wasn’t going to do this. No man would ever have the power to hurt her this way. She was tough, and she knew how to fight, and she would not let her own emotions defeat her.
She heard foots
teps and felt relieved to know Marta was back. It was nearly five, not too early to blend a batch of margaritas. What she needed right now was a stiff drink, a tub of gourmet ice cream and a good friend. They’d talk it out, and in the morning the world would look brighter.
Maybe.
Darby honestly couldn’t picture that quite yet.
“Darby?”
Seth. Her stomach contracted in on itself.
“Darby?” he repeated.
She struggled to put on a brave face, praying no trace of her tears remained.
Gritting her teeth, she turned. “Did you forget something?”
A strange expression crossed his face. “Yeah, I did.”
“What?”
He moved straight across the room to stand in front of her. His expression turned to uncertainty. “I’m not going to ask you how you feel.”
“I feel fine,” she lied.
“Because that would be unfair,” he continued as if she hadn’t spoken. “But here’s what I want to say. If I elicit nothing in you, if your emotions flatline around me, then I’ll walk out of your life and never come back.”
Darby tried to tell him to go. She tried to force out the words that would take him from her life forever, but she couldn’t seem to make a single sound.
“But if you feel something, anything—confusion, frustration, longing, loneliness or even anger—then I want to show you something.”
“Show me what?”
A half smile grew on his face, and she knew she’d given too much away. She felt frustration. She felt confusion. She felt longing. And she sure felt anger.
“Come with me,” he told her softly, moving toward her. “Right now. I want to show you something. It’s important.”
“No.” She couldn’t do it. How could she do it? How could she risk feeling even worse than she felt right now?
“Please,” he asked her, every nuance of his expression, every note in his voice radiating sincerity.
She was so tempted, and she was so frightened by being so tempted.
“I feel like crap,” he told her. “I can’t do it. I can’t let it end like this.”
“It was always going to end like this.”
He reached out and took her hands in his. “It never should have.”
She felt tears burning at the back of her eyes. “I can’t, Seth.”
He unexpectedly smiled. “It’s not a flatline, is it?”
Her heart thumped in her chest.
“It’s not a flatline,” she whispered, pained.
He squeezed one of her hands in his, turning and towing her toward the door. “Then let’s go.”
“No, Seth.” She ordered herself to pull away, but his hand was so warm and strong around hers, that she couldn’t quite bring herself to break the hold.
“It won’t take long,” he promised.
“Where are we going?” She realized the question was as good as agreeing.
“Down the valley. I need to show you something.”
She stopped arguing, and she kept walking. She realized she wasn’t strong enough to tell him no. She wasn’t strong enough to give up this tiny chance to spend a few more minutes or hours with him.
They made their way to his pickup truck. They got silently inside. She fastened the seat belt over her hips, while he pointed the vehicle for the highway. A few minutes in, he tuned in a local station to fill the uncomfortable silence.
Darby wished she could come up with some small talk. But she couldn’t think of a single thing to say. The questions that burned in her mind were way beyond small talk. What was he doing? Where were they going? What could he possibly say or do to alleviate her heartbreak and the destruction of her life?
Finally, she gave up. She tipped her head back and closed her eyes. Her chest didn’t ache quite as much as it had the past few days. Even though she knew it was temporary, and he’d be leaving her again soon, his presence seemed to give her heartbreak a breather.
Two hours later, as the sun was setting, they passed beneath the Jacobs Ranch sign. Darby sat up straighter while they bumped their way up the long ranch road. She gazed out at the lush fields dotted with cattle, the river, the colored maple trees and the magnificent mountains rising beyond the Valley. She’d never been to his family ranch before.
“Your place?” she couldn’t help confirming.
“That’s right.”
“Are we going to see your family?”
She glanced down at her tattered jeans and faded T-shirt. She really wasn’t prepared to talk to anyone right now.
“No,” he answered.
She breathed a sigh of relief, watching the sights once more. She’d heard people say it was the most beautiful ranch in the Valley, and she could easily see why.
“Will you tell me what we’re doing?” she asked.
“Not yet. I want it to be a surprise.”
Darby couldn’t imagine what kind of a surprise would be at his ranch. “A horse?” she found herself guessing, though she was far from in the mood for humor. “A cow? A chicken?”
“Yeah,” he drawled sarcastically. “I brought you out here to see a chicken.”
“It’s a beautiful ranch,” she told him, the tension in her stomach easing a little more.
They were headed uphill, over faint tire tracks that crossed a sloping meadow. A picturesque lake fanned out in the twilight.
“I’ve always loved it,” he replied, bringing the truck to a halt, shutting down the engine and setting the brake. “Here we are.”
“So you wanted to show me a lake.”
“Yeah.” He smiled, opening the driver’s door.
Darby followed suit as he rounded the hood.
“I don’t understand, Seth.”
“You will.”
“I feel something,” she told him. “I’m hurt and I’m angry, and I’m afraid you’re making it worse.”
“I have no intention of making it worse.”
“I feel like everything is lies. I never should have slept with you.”
Seth looked genuinely regretful. “I thought you’d come and yell at me. I was okay with you getting angry. I wasn’t okay with you getting hurt.”
“Then you shouldn’t have betrayed me.”
He closed his eyes for a long moment. “Oh, Darby. I am so sorry.” His sincerity was clearly obvious.
“Thank you for that.”
Then he took her hand. “This way.”
She tried to hang on to her anger as they strolled through the meadow, but his apology had pricked her resolve. And there was something soothing about the smell of the fields, the fresh breeze in her hair and Seth’s solid presence beside her.
She tried to brace herself for even more hurt when this final interlude was over.
“There it is,” he said, and she looked up.
They had stopped in front of an overgrown homesite. She could see a potbellied stove, a crumbling chimney and the barest remnants of a small foundation. It took less than a second for her to realize where they’d come, remembering the view from the painting.
“It’s your great-great-grandparents’,” she muttered in wonder.
“This is the place.”
She had no idea why he’d brought her here, but she felt inordinately grateful. It was almost sacred ground. She could feel the roots of his family through the soles of her shoes.
“It’s even better than the painting,” she told him, dropping her hand from his, moving forward, trying to picture the family living here years and years ago.
“You like it?” he asked.
“I still agree with Mandy. Someone should carry on the family on this site.”
“Well, carry on something,” he said. He walked up
behind her, putting his hands on her shoulders.
“I was thinking, after Travis told me about Sierra Hotel, that this would be a perfect spot to rebuild it.”
Darby’s insides turned to stone. She twisted her head to gape at him. Was he suggesting his family could replace Sierra Hotel? That somebody else should take her idea and run with it?
“I was thinking,” he continued softly, not reacting to her incredulous expression. “If you were to marry me, we could rebuild Sierra Hotel right here on the ranch.”
Her jaw dropped.
“What do you think?”
“What?” she rasped, wondering if she could have possibly heard right. He was proposing? How could he possibly be proposing?
“I think you heard me,” he said.
“That is by far the craziest thing you’ve ever said.”
“Which part is the craziest?” He turned her to face him. “Me offering to replace Sierra Hotel so that you’ll marry me? Or you agreeing to marry me so that I’ll replace Sierra Hotel?”
“Seth, what is going on?”
He took both her hands in his and gently squeezed, sending sparks of desire up her arms to her heart. “I’m in love with you, Darby. That’s what’s going on. I’m head over heels in love with you, and I can’t bear the thought of losing you. I can’t stand that I’ve hurt you.” His gaze went past her shoulder to the small homesite. “I know it’s second best. It’s not your aunt’s place. But I want you to carry on with Sierra Hotel. I want—”
“Whoa,” Darby interrupted him, her mind reeling in amazement and confusion. “Go back.”
His expression fell. “You want to leave?”
“Go back to the part where you said you love me.”
His shoulders sagged in relief, and the smile returned to his face. “I love you, Darby. Will you marry me?”
“This is too fast,” she protested, her heart pounding and joy coming to life deep inside her.
“I don’t know how to slow it down. I can’t let you leave. I can’t let you rejoin the army.”
Logic told her to be cautious, but her emotions were already shouting from the rooftops.
“It’s all too unbelievable,” she told him.
“What can I do to make it more believable?”
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