Chapter 14
December 1994
Jake stretched and looked at the clock. 11:52 PM.
He had been lying in bed for over an hour and was still wide awake. You’d think a person would outgrow the eagerness of Christmas morning, but at fifteen-years-old, Jake was still excited by what his mother might leave him under the tree. He could easily sneak a peek at the presents, but he hated the idea of disappointing his mother. She always loved seeing his initial reaction to the gifts she’d bought him, and that was something he could never fake. He was a horrible liar.
He looked at the clock again. 11:53 PM.
He stood with a groan and stretched again, nearly touching the ceiling, and then rested his elbows against the windowsill. The snow fell so heavily that he could barely see beyond his own front yard, and that excited him. He loved a white Christmas.
Then he jumped back with a gasp. He was expecting to see the snow and perhaps a pair of headlights shining through the storm, perhaps a stray cat roaming around on the street, but he wasn’t expecting someone to suddenly appear outside of his bedroom window, rapping on the glass with their knuckles. This was largely due to the fact that Jake’s bedroom was on the second floor.
“Sara?”
Sara and Stan had been using a ladder and the garage to reach his bedroom for years, but Sara seldom came alone and never at night. He opened the window and helped her inside. The cold breeze chilled him, but it was forgotten when he saw her bundled in a green coat and scarf with tears streaming down her cheeks.
“What’s wrong?”
She clung to him, suddenly sobbing, and so he sat with her on the side of his bed. His mother would be furious if she knew a girl was in his bedroom, but he didn’t care. He was just glad he wore pants to bed.
“I’m sorry,” Sara finally said in a whisper. She straightened herself and tried drying her face with a wet sleeve. Jake handed her a clean shirt from a dresser drawer.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“Michael and I broke up.”
“Oh.”
Sara and Michael Bailey had been dating for four months, and though Jake couldn’t help but feel jealous, Michael was a good guy. She seemed genuinely happy with him despite Jake’s secret disappointment and Stan’s open criticisms. He felt a tad selfish for not being saddened by this news.
“What happened?” he finally whispered.
“We’ve been arguing a lot lately. We never used to do that.”
“What were you arguing about?”
She didn’t answer at first and ultimately dodged the question. “We’ve always been friendly, but I think he wanted more than that. I just couldn’t do it.”
Jake’s stomach dropped. Was she talking about sex?
“He wanted to kiss me,” Sara Said.
Jake was relieved but masked his relief as concern.
“He tried a few times but I couldn’t do it,” she continued. “It just didn’t feel right. We kind of kissed once, sorta, but it was only a peck and I pulled away.”
“So he tried to kiss you again?”
“I wouldn’t let him and he got mad and said everyone else our age was doing that and more, but I just couldn’t.”
Jake was surprised by the jealousy he felt. Michael tried to steal a kiss from her! He swallowed back the anger and maintained his composure.
“So he broke up with you?” he asked.
“No,” Sara said after a moment. “I broke up with him.”
He didn’t know what to say. If she broke up with him, then why was she so upset? He was pondering this when she scooted away from him, leaving a small space between them. She tried to speak but seemed unsure of what to say.
“Sara, what’s wrong? It’s just me. It’s okay.”
She finally shrugged and wiped her eyes with Jake’s clean shirt. She took a deep breath and finally faced him. “You are what’s wrong, Jake. I kept thinking about that time when we accidentally kissed. It just didn’t feel right to let someone else take that away.”
“I’m sorry,” Jake apologized, though he was unsure of what he was apologizing for exactly.
“It’s okay,” she said with a nervous laugh. “You’ve always been there for me, and when it came time for me to be with someone else, I realized I didn’t want to be. I wanted to be with you.”
She shook as she cautiously reached for his hand. He withdrew, surprised by her touch, but then slowly placed his hand over hers.
“I’m sorry, Jake, but I think I might love you.”
Jake’s mind went blank. He liked finding the right words for Sara, but nothing came to mind now. She looked at him, and though he had seen her eyes every day since they were children, there was something different about them now. They were so deep and beautiful, and they stared into parts of him that even he was unfamiliar with. He wished he could say something—anything.
“Jake?”
“I think I love you, too.”
Sara let out a sigh of relief and threw her arms around him.
“I thought I was just being stupid,” she whispered into his ear. “I know we’re young but no one else makes me feel safe like you do. I was scared you would hate me if I said something—that I’d mess up our friendship.”
“That’ll never happen. I’ll always be here.”
“I know.”
Sara pulled away and stared into his eyes. She smiled, giggled softly, and then leaned in nervously and placed her lips on his. Though having never really kissed anyone before, Jake was amazed by how right this moment felt. It was nice. Sara pulled away a moment later and smiled in silent agreement.
“Was…” he stumbled breathlessly, “was that okay?”
“I don’t know,” she said, “but we can practice more.”
“Okay.”
They kissed again, and then she hugged him. He held her for a moment and wondered how grounded he would be if his mother were to walk in right now.
Sara pulled away and headed for the window but decided she wasn’t ready to go. She hugged him once more and offered a quick peck on the cheek.
“I have to get home before Mom notices I left. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Okay,” Jake said as he helped her climb through the window.
He looked at the clock. 12:14 AM.
“Hey Sara!” he called out as loudly as he dared. “Merry Christmas.”
She smiled as she reaches the ground and waved.
“Merry Christmas, Jake.” She hesitated and then mouthed, “I love you.”
Jake felt as if he could run laps around town but opted to quietly whisper, “I love you, too,” instead.
Sara stayed to the shadows until she turned off of his street, but Jake kept watching long after that, unable to pull his eyes away from where she’d been. He eventually shut the window and sat at the foot of the bed. The room still smelled like her, and the taste in his mouth—he couldn’t stop smiling.
“Oh, my God,” was all he could say over and over again until the words gave way to laughter.
This was by far the best day of his life.
Cicada Song Page 15