“Keep your voice down.” Jesse pulled him to the side. “I called Gipson Cross. He has a private copter that he uses to get back and forth from his spread here to the airport in Tulsa. It just so happens it’s sitting at his place and not in use. His pilot is on the way there, and we’ll transport Cheyenne by ambulance to meet him.”
“I’m going with her.”
“We’re both going with her.” Jesse still had hold of his arm. “She needs you.”
“I know.” He touched the wall, felt it ground him. “Where is she?”
“In here, with Heather.” Jesse touched his arm. “Five paces and you’re at the door. Put on a smile and let her know that everything is okay.”
Reese nodded and walked straight ahead, using the wall as a guide. When he walked through the door, he heard silence and then his name on a broken sob.
How had it happened this way? He’d had a simple exit strategy and now it had all come pretty unraveled. The woman in that bed was counting on him. As much as he wanted to be someone she could count on, he knew she needed someone who could walk through a hospital without being told how many steps to take and which way to turn.
But it was his name she’d cried. He wanted to be the man she could count on.
Chapter Twelve
Cheyenne couldn’t help the sob that escaped when she saw Reese walk through the door. When all of this had happened she’d only been able to think about him being with her. But in the last hour another thought had replaced that one.
If she had her baby today, her marriage would be over. The agreement ended with her son’s birth. Reese would walk away. She would go back to being Cheyenne Jones. Another sob welled up, and she buried her face in her hands.
“Cheyenne, I’m here.” He sat down on the edge of the bed and reached for her hand. She took a deep, shaky breath as his hand held hers tight.
“I know. I’m sorry—I just—when you left I didn’t...”
“Shh, it’s going to be okay. We’re going to get you to Tulsa. Think about the baby.” He stroked her hand, calming her. “Stay focused on your son and how much he needs for you to be calm.”
She nodded and sobbed again. “I’m trying.”
“You’re good. The baby is good. There are people all over this county praying for you.”
“That’s good, I need it.”
“Don’t we all.” He smiled and she closed her eyes as his fingers brushed through her hair.
“I’m not ready to have a baby.”
He laughed a little. “I don’t think that’s up to you.”
“He isn’t ready.”
“He’s going to be ready.”
A nurse entered and behind her, paramedics entered with a gurney. “Reese, they’re here to take me.”
“I’m not letting you go alone.”
She held tight to his hand. “I can’t do this.”
He took off his sunglasses and leaned close. “Look at me.”
“I am.” She smiled. “I like looking at you.”
“They must have you medicated.” He stroked her cheek. “I’m here. You’re good. Keep your hand on your belly and remember who is in there and what he needs from you.”
“Who made you so smart?”
He kissed her cheek. “Lessons learned, sweetheart. Lessons learned. I’m right here behind you.”
As they loaded her she felt faint. She clawed at the blankets and tried to hold on, the way Reese had told her to, but everything went dark. “Jesse?”
“Right here. You’re good, Cheyenne. We’ll have you to Tulsa in no time.”
“Jesse, I’m afraid. It doesn’t feel right.”
He touched her shoulder. “I know. And we don’t have time to talk. You’re going to be in Tulsa in thirty minutes. They’re waiting for you.”
“Jesse.” She shuddered.
“Hang on, Cheyenne. Reese is here and we’re heading out.”
She closed her eyes as they moved her from the bed to the gurney on a count of three. Within minutes she felt herself being loaded in the back of an ambulance. Reese wasn’t with her. She opened her eyes and flicked her gaze around the sterile confines of the ambulance. An attendant smiled and talked into a radio. He put a hand on her arm.
“We’ll be at the helicopter in four minutes. Hang tight, Mrs. Cooper.”
She wasn’t Mrs. Cooper, not really. She wanted to tell him that she was a fraud. She’d never been who she thought she was—ever. She’d never been the person who anyone wanted to keep—ever.
But her baby wouldn’t feel that way. She did what Reese had told her to do. She put her hand on her belly and felt her little guy move inside her. She felt him kick. She smiled and tried to pretend it didn’t hurt.
Where was Reese? She breathed through a contraction and yelped when the paramedic moved her arm, shifting the needle in her vein.
“Sorry.” He touched the tape and made sure it had remained in place.
“Where’d Reese go?”
“He can’t ride with us. Dr. Cooper will take him in his truck.”
She nodded but it didn’t feel any better. She needed someone. She thought back to being a child, being sick, and her mom sitting next to her bed, trying to comfort her, hugging her tight when she cried. But Cheyenne had pushed her parents away because she’d heard that conversation. She’d known how they felt about adopting her. She had pushed them out of her life.
She had done it. She closed her eyes. If she got through this she would apologize. She would make amends for not listening when they’d tried to stop her from going to Vegas. She’d make amends for the horrible way she’d treated them.
“We’re at the ranch.” The attendant readied her for the move from the ambulance to the helicopter. “You’re going to be wheeled out on the gurney, but then you’ll have to ride sitting up in the helicopter because it’s a private aircraft, not medevac. But Dr. Cooper will be with you to monitor your condition, and we’re going to try and bring the equipment with you.”
“I understand.” But another contraction wrapped around her middle. “Should it hurt like this?”
The paramedic nodded. “I’m afraid so. You’re in labor, Mrs. Cooper. And your blood pressure is pretty high.”
“I’m okay.” She breathed, keeping her hand on her belly. “Where’s Reese?”
“I’m right here.” He looked in the open door. “We’re good to go.”
She nodded but she saw something in his eyes that worried her. She saw fear. She saw panic. “Reese?”
“Yeah?”
They helped her out of the ambulance, and she didn’t have time to ask him if he was okay. But of course he was. He was Reese. He handled everything.
And then they were at the helicopter. She tried to breathe, to be calm, but the blades were swirling and everything in her body hurt. She held tight to Reese as they helped her into the reclining seat in the helicopter. Reese sat next to her. Jesse sat in the seat facing her. The pilot greeted them as they buckled up.
“You okay?” Jesse leaned and looked at her.
She nodded. She had to be. She wouldn’t think about the possibilities, about seizures or stroke, about losing her baby. She closed her eyes and recited verses she had memorized as a little girl. These long forgotten verses seemed to have been waiting in her memory to be recalled when needed most.
Next to her she heard Reese recite, “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want...”
She reached for his hand. The helicopter blades were spinning fast, and the big machine rumbled and started to lift. She opened her eyes and saw Jesse shift his attention to Reese.
“Reese, peppermint.” Jesse reached and shook his brother. “Hey, stay with us.”
Cheyenne shifted her attention to the man at her side. But he wasn’t Reese, and he obviously wasn’t with her. He stared straight ahead, as if he saw something she didn’t, something horribly frightening. His hands gripped the arm of the seat, and he said something she couldn’t hear.
“Reese
!” she shouted his name and then she slugged him because she didn’t know what else to do. He turned to face her, his eyes wide with fear.
“I can’t do this.” He reached for his seat belt. “I can’t go back.”
“You aren’t going back!” Jesse shouted. “Get the vial out of your pocket and focus on where you’re at.”
Cheyenne held tight to his arm. “Reese, I need you with me.”
He nodded. “I’m here.”
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a vial. He took off the lid and sniffed. With his right hand he held her hand tight. She glanced at Jesse.
“Why peppermint?”
Jesse shrugged. “The scent is strong and it’s something real. It gets his focus off the flashback. Now, Reese, ground yourself.”
She kept hold of his hand and slowly he came back to her. This was the fear she’d seen in his eyes. This was the panic. He’d already prepared for the panic attack. He knew he’d have a flashback. But he’d gotten on the helicopter with her anyway.
* * *
Reese held tight to Cheyenne’s hand, because she needed him. He wouldn’t let himself be pulled back, to the faces of his guys. He pushed aside the thoughts that haunted him, thoughts of their eyes, their faces. They had needed him. He hadn’t been able to help. And then there was the second explosion, right before the air support got to their location. Then there was nothing.
“Reese!” Jesse shouted his name. “Cheyenne is next to you.”
“Cheyenne.” He held her hand. He knew her touch. He knew her scent. He knew her skin. It was soft beneath his hands. He could do this.
“You with me?” Her voice came to him, waking him from something like a living nightmare. Flashbacks were real, though. He knew because he’d been having them for two months. But they were never this bad.
“I’m with you.” He leaned close. “I’m with you.”
She held tight to his hand. “I’m not letting you go.”
“Good idea.” He breathed through the fear and focused on the woman next to him, needing him. He hadn’t been able to save his guys. He could save her.
“Reese, how are you?” Jesse yelled from across the helicopter.
“Good. Not great but good. Not feeling like much of a man.”
“Don’t say that.” Cheyenne lifted his hand to her cheek. “I need you and you got on this helicopter for me.”
“We’re not there yet.” He tried to smile but he couldn’t, not yet. The helicopter blades where pounding and he could hear the pilots. But then he heard weapons being fired and an explosion. He shook his head. The weapons weren’t real.
Reality. God. Cheyenne. Jesse. He moved his hand and found what he sought: the rounded evidence of a baby coming into the world. He kept his hand in place, feeling when the baby kicked and moved.
“I’m good.” He breathed and Cheyenne covered his hand with hers. “This is very good. We should call your parents.”
She whispered that they could do that when they got to Tulsa. Her voice sounded weak. She sounded afraid.
“Cheyenne, hold on. Okay?” He moved his hand to her arm. “Jesse, is she okay?”
“She’s good. The contractions are pretty steady.” Jesse paused for a minute. “Her blood pressure is still high.”
“Cheyenne?” Reese held her swollen hand. “We’ll get through this.”
“I know.” She sounded weak. “And then what happens?”
He knew what she meant by that but he couldn’t answer. What would she say if he said, “Stay together and make this work”?
Right now, with him shaking in his boots, probably wasn’t the best time to put his heart on the line.
The helicopter landed. He didn’t know where they were or what would happen next. Next to him Cheyenne froze and then her body started to shake beneath his hand.
“Jesse?” He held tight to Cheyenne’s hand. “What’s going on?”
“Back up.” Jesse pushed him to the side as the door opened and warm air rushed in at them. “Get a gurney. She’s seizing. We have a pregnant female, thirty-four weeks gestation, blood pressure is...”
Reese sat back, not hearing everything, unable to see anything. The commotion swirled around him, and then Cheyenne was gone and he was alone. He sat there for a second, unsure. A hand touched his arm.
“Reese.”
“Dad, what are you doing here?”
“Jesse called before you all left home and told us to meet you here.”
“Good. Now you can tell me where they’ve taken her and how we get there.”
“They’re taking her right in to surgery,” his dad explained as they crossed to the doors that led from the helipad into the hospital.
“She shouldn’t be alone.”
“She won’t be.” His dad led him through the building. The air was cool, sterile. “I think your mom is waiting to go in with her.”
“I have her phone. We should call her parents. I think they would want to know.”
“Good idea.” Tim took the phone from him. “I’ll find their number and you can call them. You’re her husband.”
Reese brushed a hand through his hair and let out a ragged breath. “Yeah, the guy who can’t be with her.”
“This situation doesn’t have clear rules, Reese. You married her, but you’re not married. I don’t know what to tell you, other than you’re going to have to decide.”
“I’ve already decided.” He took the phone and walked off. He’d decided that he loved her. He had also decided she needed more than him.
He held the phone to his ear while it rang. When it was answered he introduced himself and then he told Lori Jones that her daughter was in a Tulsa hospital. He gave the specifics and Cheyenne’s mother cried.
“Tell her we love her. We’ll be there as soon as we can.”
“I’ll tell her.”
Reese stood in the hallway, waiting. His dad finally came back.
“We can wait down here. Jesse just had a nurse come out to tell us that the seizing has stopped. They have her on oxygen, and they’re going to start the cesarean as soon as they can get scrubbed in.”
“Good to know.” Reese held his dad’s arm. The cane was folded and in his pocket. It didn’t do a lot of good when he didn’t know where he was or where he was going. He hadn’t realized until then how much he’d come to rely on it.
“Here’s the waiting room.” His dad led him through a door.
Reese felt for a chair and sat down. After a few minutes he stood up, wanting to pace. Cheyenne was having a baby—not his baby, he reminded himself. But it didn’t really matter to him that it wasn’t his. “Is there coffee in here?”
“Yeah, I’ll get you a cup.”
Reese sat back down. “I’d appreciate that.”
A minute later his dad placed the coffee in his hand. “It’s instant, but that’s what you get from a vending machine. Welcome to fatherhood. Bad coffee, worry, doubt. Sound about right?”
“Yeah.” But he wasn’t a dad. He sipped the coffee and waited...and waited. “I can’t take this.”
“It’s only been ten minutes.” His dad laughed.
“Easy for you to laugh.”
“It isn’t like I haven’t been through this a few times.”
“You went in with Mom. You didn’t wait in a waiting room.”
“Yeah, I did.” His dad sighed. “How was the helicopter?”
“Other than the flashback, minor panic attack and then Cheyenne going into seizures, wonderful.”
“Exciting.” Tim patted his arm. “Finish the coffee. We’ll go lurk in recovery.”
“I’m done with the coffee.” He stood and waited for his dad. “Let’s go.”
They walked down the hall and waited outside a door. Reese paced in the area that he knew, keeping track by using the wall as a guide.
“You’re going to wear a hole in the floor.”
“I have to do something.” He paused and listened. A door had closed inside the recov
ery room. “Is that her?”
His dad stepped next to him. “Yeah, it’s her. Jesse is heading this way.”
Reese took in a deep breath and waited. The door opened. Jesse stepped close, touching his arm. “She’s good, but she isn’t out of the woods. We have her on a heart monitor and oxygen, not a ventilator.”
“Okay, what does this mean? Is there something permanent?”
“Not that we know of. She seems to be responding to the meds. Before we put her under, she followed our commands. She’s good, Reese. Preeclampsia became eclampsia. But she’s going to get through this.”
“What about the baby?” Reese moved closer to the door.
“We’ve taken him to the NICU. He’s a little stressed and needs oxygen, as well as monitoring, but he’ll be good.”
“You’re sure?”
“Yeah. Come on. Cheyenne will need to see your pretty mug.” Jesse led him through the door. “Try not to say anything stupid, like about the annulment.”
“Right, thanks for thinking I’m callous.”
“I don’t. I just know you, brother. I know how your mind works and your big sense of right and wrong. Right now you’re having a truckload of doubt, and you think you can’t be the man she needs.”
“You can get a job for a psychic hotline if this doctor business doesn’t work out.” Reese thought about Adam’s punching bag.
“You know I’m right. I saw it on your face back in the helicopter.”
“Good, thanks. Now where is she?”
“This way.” Jesse didn’t move forward. “She loves you. It’s all over her face.”
“Jesse, not right now.”
“I know.” Jesse led him to her bed, placed his hand on her arm and told him to take care of her.
“Reese?” Cheyenne’s voice was soft and teary.
“Right here. You’re okay.”
“I don’t feel okay. I feel weak.” She shivered beneath his touch. “Where’s my baby?”
“He’s being taken care of.” He reached for a chair and sat down next to her. “They had to take him to the NICU. He’s going to be fine, though. He just needs help breathing right now.”
“I need to see him.” She moved beneath his hand. “I need to hold him. I haven’t even held him.”
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