“It’s a lovely ring.” Granny Cooper patted his arm. “You put it on her finger. She’ll take it from you.”
“Gran, I think you should let us discuss this.”
“Discuss away.”
“Without you.” He slipped the ring in his shirt pocket.
His grandmother sighed big. “I didn’t give it to you for you to put in your pocket, Reese. I want it on her finger.”
“We’ll discuss it.”
“Now let me tell you something, grandson of mine. I’ve been amused by this situation. I’ve let you have your fun and pretend this isn’t real. But marriage means something. It isn’t to be entered into lightly. It’s a binding thing, and when two people take themselves to that altar and promise to love one another, then they’d best do all they can to fulfill the vows.”
Reese touched her arm, found her cheek with a little help from her and kissed it. “Gran, I can handle this.”
“I hope you can. Now, you two talk, and I’m going to go see that little boy.”
Reese listened to her retreating footsteps. The ring in his shirt pocket pressed against him, a reminder of a moment that shouldn’t have complicated their lives to this extent.
“This is my fault.” Cheyenne touched his arm.
“We’ll work it out. But today isn’t the day.”
He leaned and her hand touched his cheek, guiding him to her. He felt her hair, her cheek, the softness of her skin. He kissed her as she cried salty tears.
When the kiss ended, he remained close. “You’re going to survive this.”
“I’m so afraid right now.”
“I know, but this is where we’re at. We have to figure out today before we can even begin to know what we’ll do with tomorrow. And we do need to figure out what God has in mind before we make a big mistake.”
What God had in mind? He didn’t know how to make promises to her. A man had to be able to take care of himself before he could commit to a wife and child. And he was getting there. Each day got him a little closer to being the man she could count on.
A knock on the door pulled them apart. He turned, smiling at a visitor he couldn’t see, but he did recognize the sound of the wheelchair being pushed into the room.
Cheyenne smiled at the nurse who pushed the wheelchair toward her bed.
“Mrs. Cooper, I’m here to take you down to see your son.”
“I can see him?”
“You can. We’re going to take this slowly. If you’ll wait a minute, I’ll have an aide help me get you out of bed. Mr. Cooper, do you want to push her down to the NICU when we’re finished?”
Reese smiled and turned to Cheyenne, but she didn’t know what to say or how to handle this moment. She ached for him.
“Of course I want to.” He winked in her direction and pulled the white cane out of his pocket. “I’ll be in the hall. Let me know when she’s ready.”
Cheyenne smiled as he walked out the door. She loved him. Her heart broke a little at the realization. Of course, she couldn’t call it a realization, not when she’d been falling for weeks. Actually the fall had started in Vegas, continued through their letters, plunged rapidly when she got to Dawson.
He paused at the door, and she lifted her chin a little, letting go of any sadness the thought brought. For the time being he was her cowboy, the man who had rescued her. He was sweet and gorgeous and funny. He had confidence and a swagger that made the nurses turn and look.
For the time being...
“Okay, let’s see if we can get you up.” The nurse waited for the aide to walk in and close the door. “If you feel at all dizzy, you’ll need to let me know.”
“I will.”
“We need to walk a little, too. I’m sorry about that, but it’s important to have you on your feet and walking.”
“I can do it.”
She managed to get up, walk across the room and back as they instructed, and then they eased her down into the wheelchair. The nurse checked her blood pressure and it had remained high, but not at a dangerous level.
“This is really good.” The nurse pushed her to the door. “Are you sure the two of you will be okay on your own?”
Cheyenne smiled back at the nurse. “We’ll be fine.”
“Okay then. To get to the NICU go down the hall, take a right and down to the next hallway where you’ll go left.”
“Got it.”
The nurse pushed her through the door. Reese stood leaning against the wall next to her parents. When he heard her, he straightened and smiled.
“Ready to go?” He reached for her hand and she gave it to him.
“I’m beyond ready.”
He patted her shoulder and then slid his hand to the back of the wheelchair and the handles. “Me, too. I’ll leave it up to you to get us there.”
“Okay, we’re going in the right direction. Keep going and in about thirty feet we’re turning right.”
“Got it.”
She concentrated on breathing and relaxing. Her baby had been in this world for twenty-four hours, and up to this point he hadn’t seemed real because she hadn’t seen him, touched him. She had worried about him and prayed for him, but now, finally he would be real in her arms.
“Turn left,” she whispered as they got to the end of the second hall.
“You okay?”
“Nervous.” It was for so many reasons but most of all because of reality.
“He’s good, Cheyenne.”
“I know he is. It’s just...” She sighed. “It’s just that now it becomes real. Everything becomes real. I’m a single mom with a little boy to raise.”
His hand touched her shoulder. “You’re going to be fine.”
She nodded because she couldn’t talk. Her throat ached with unshed tears and emotion so thick it kept the breath in her lungs. She clasped her hands together to keep them from trembling. She shook from cold and fear.
“Cheyenne, breathe.”
“I’m breathing.” It was only a little, though.
He laughed. “I can’t hear you.”
“Okay, I’m breathing.” She took a deep breath. “I’m so afraid.”
“You aren’t alone.”
She was alone. He was with her. Her parents were there. But she was alone. As she entered the NICU she realized how untrue that thought was. She sobbed as she saw him in the little bed, an oxygen tube close to his face and a clear tent over him.
She reached back to stop Reese. He stopped and moved to her side.
“I need to touch him.” She looked around for a nurse. “Reese, I need to hold my baby.”
“Okay, hold on. Let me get help.” He moved away from her but paused and turned. “If I could see help.”
He smiled and shook his head.
“A nurse is coming.” She tightened her robe and tried to stand. Reese moved to her side, his hand clasping her elbow.
“Honey, I’m not sure if you should get up.” The nurse reached for her other arm.
“I have to touch him.” Cheyenne leaned close to the bed. “I need to hold him.”
“Okay, you sit back down and I’ll get him out of there for you. He’s okay. You can hold him.”
Cheyenne lowered herself back into the chair with Reese still holding her arm. She watched as the nurse moved swiftly, swaddling the baby in a blanket, moving tubes and wires. And then he was in Cheyenne’s arms. His tiny little body fit against hers and he squirmed and scrunched his face.
“He’s beautiful.” She smiled at Reese, who had taken a seat next to her. “He’s so tiny and beautiful.”
“You know, we men don’t really like to be called beautiful.” He winked and leaned close. His hand touched her arm and slid down to touch her son. “We’re handsome.”
“Yes, you are.” She whispered the word on a breath and he smiled. She recovered her senses. “I want to take him home.”
“You can stay in the stable apartment, Cheyenne. There’s more room.”
Not right now. Not this co
nversation while they were together holding her baby. She didn’t respond.
Reese sat back. “But you don’t have to. Whatever you decide, I’ll help you however I can.”
“I know.”
Don’t leave me. She wanted to say it but couldn’t. Rejection seemed to be a pattern in her life. For whatever reason, she was hard to hold on to. But her baby in her arms changed everything.
“Cheyenne...”
“Not now. Please, let’s not talk now. He’s beautiful and I want to hold him and be happy.”
“I want you to be happy.”
She nodded and when the nurse approached with a bottle she took it. She sat in the NICU, in that safe environment with soft sounds and soft colors and a cocoon of peace wrapped around her. She would be okay. She had faith.
Chapter Fourteen
Five days later Reese waited at the barbershop for Cheyenne to come in with the baby. Heather had driven them home while Reese made some last-minute changes to the shop, with Jackson’s help. They put up the rest of the mini blinds, put a crib together and found a tiny bassinet. It was crammed into the back room, but she had insisted on returning to the barbershop.
“They’re walking up to the door,” Jackson said from across the room.
“Thanks.” Reese finished putting the drill away, and he turned as the bell over the door dinged to announce their arrival. He unfolded his cane and walked toward her, stopping when she touched his arm.
“Reese.” She sounded tired.
“We’ve been getting some work done for you. We thought it might make things easier.”
“Thank you.” She sighed a soft sigh. “We should probably talk.”
He agreed. “First, you need to sit down. And I’ve arranged for Vera to have meals delivered to you so you don’t have to worry about cooking.”
“Don’t, Reese.” Her voice broke and the baby fussed.
Reese slid his hand down her arm, felt the tiny bundle in the blanket. Footsteps retreated and the door chimed again.
“I take it we’re now alone?”
“Yes.” She touched his arm. “Let’s sit down. I
really am exhausted.”
They walked to the back of the room. Jackson had delivered a rocking chair and a wingback. He assured Reese the chairs didn’t take up much room, and she’d have somewhere to sit other than the little room where her bed and the crib were.
“Reese, it’s time for me to sign the annulment.”
He heard the creak of the rocking chair. He sat down and listed.
“You’ve done so much for me. For us.” Her voice broke on a sob. “And I can’t keep doing this, taking advantage of you, pretending you’re mine or that we will always be.”
“Cheyenne, why don’t we wait?” Forever. That’s what he wanted to say, but he didn’t want to push her to stay in his life.
“No.” The rocking chair creaked and the baby cried a little. “I have to feed him.”
“Okay.” He stood. “Cheyenne, I’ve never been sorry.”
“Neither have I, but I know this isn’t what we planned—me here, us together this way. It isn’t fair to you that I barged into your life and stayed. You didn’t have a chance to think about what you wanted.” She touched his hand. “I think I’m going to stay with my parents for a while. My sister is married and has a little girl. There’s so much of their lives I’ve missed out on.”
“How will you get there?”
She laughed a little. “You have to stop taking care of me, Reese. Do you think I don’t know what people say, about your heart and how you’ve always been too kind? You’ve always taken in strays. That’s what I heard a man at Vera’s say the other day.”
Reese drew in a breath and he walked away. After a minute he walked back and squatted in front of her. “Whoever said that was dead wrong.”
She touched his face. “Bring the paperwork over tomorrow and I’ll sign it.”
“Is that really what you want?”
“It’s what I want.” She sobbed, and he turned into the hand that still rested on his cheek. He kissed her palm and then he stood, leaning to kiss her.
“It isn’t what I want,” he whispered close to her ear.
She shook her head. “Go.”
Reese stood and walked out of the building. The afternoon sun beat down on the sidewalk. He pushed on his sunglasses and waited to see if anyone would show up.
It made sense. Of course it made sense. He walked down the sidewalk, felt the stucco of the building and leaned facing it. He drew back his hand and stopped short of hitting the wall. Instead he pressed both palms against the warm stucco and let out a shaky breath.
“You ready to fight someone?” Jackson touched his back.
“Yeah, I’m ready to fight someone. And the problem is, I don’t know who to fight.”
“I’d rather it not be me. I’m an innocent bystander. Maybe you need to fight yourself, because it looks to me like you’re giving up.”
“She’s going to Kansas to stay with her parents. She wants me to bring the paperwork over tomorrow so she can sign the annulment.”
“Just like that?”
“She said she isn’t a stray. That’s what she heard someone say, something about me bringing home strays.”
“Yeah, you’ve done that. A couple of kids in high school. A mangy dog from the side of the road. A horse that someone turned loose on government land. But I think that’s a far cry from marrying a woman you met outside a Vegas diner.”
“Oh, shut up.” Reese walked off.
Jackson laughed. “You going to walk home?”
Reese turned and walked back to his brother. “No, I’m not going to walk home. But I am getting pretty sick of having to ask every time I need a ride to town. She thinks she’s a stray? I can’t even drive myself to town.”
Jackson turned him toward the truck. “Head that way. And I think I know where you’re going with this. You think you can’t take care of a wife and kid?”
“Of course I can. Maybe she thinks this is too much.” He pointed to his eyes. “Maybe she doesn’t want to sign on for a lifetime of being my chauffeur, being my eyes.”
He got in the truck and waited for Jackson to climb behind the wheel. Jackson started the conversation where they’d left off.
“Maybe the two of you need to sit down and talk, and be honest.”
“Thanks.” Reese leaned back in the seat. “I can’t believe this is my life. A year ago I had this idea that I’d go into the military, serve my country for a few years, come home and settle down to ranching. Now what do I do?”
“Settle down and ranch?” Jackson downshifted and the truck slowed and turned. “So you do it a little differently. Maybe you need extra help. Maybe you work at Camp Hope and give a few kids a little hope. I can’t tell you what will happen, but I know you and I know you’re still going to live your life and you’re still going to give back and be the man you’ve always been. With or without eyesight, you’re that guy.”
When they got back to the ranch, Reese had Jackson let him out at the barn. When he walked through the door, a horse whinnied. He walked down the aisle to the office and stepped inside. Country music played softly on the radio. The room smelled like pine and leather.
He found a chair and sat down. The barn was peaceful. It had always been the place he escaped to. As a kid he’d come out here to be alone and think. As much as he loved his siblings, being a Cooper meant finding a place to think without a dozen voices trying to help.
He used to think about things that were easy—girls, horses, how to stay on a bull. Yeah, it would be good to have those days back.
* * *
Cheyenne cuddled her baby against her and waited. Reese had said he’d bring the legal paperwork for her to sign. She’d called him two days ago. He still hadn’t shown up. He’d told her he had a few things to take care of first. She’d explained that her parents were coming at the end of the week. She really wanted this done before she left for
Kansas.
Her parents were supposed to be in Dawson that afternoon. She walked to the window and looked out. A car turned and came down the road. It was Heather’s car. Cheyenne sighed and walked away from the window, back to the rocking chair Reese had brought to the shop for her. She sat down, her hands resting on the polished oak of the arms.
The door opened. Heather walked in, looking cool and beautiful as always. No one should look so cool, so together, on a hot day in August when the humidity had to be near one hundred percent.
“How are you feeling?” Heather set down two coffees. “I brought this from Vera’s. She has a new coffeemaker and she’s forcing coffee on everyone.”
“I know. I had some the other day.” Light moments like this made her feel like part of the community. And her parents were pushing for her to return to Kansas. They had asked her to live with them, to open a shop in the town she grew up in—to leave Dawson.
And why not? As soon as she signed the annulment, her marriage would be over. The ties with this town were based on what everyone believed to be a real marriage. She took that back. People did wonder why she was living in the barbershop and not at Cooper Creek.
Heather sat down in the chair next to Cheyenne. She sipped her coffee and pretended she didn’t have something to say. Cheyenne knew she did.
“Spit it out.” Cheyenne looked at Heather. “Go ahead. Say what’s on your mind.”
“Are you pushing my brother away because he’s blind?” Heather set her coffee down. “It doesn’t seem like you would be put off by something like that.”
“What in the world are you saying?”
Heather leaned forward a little. “I think that’s what Reese thinks. And I think people in town think the same thing. They think you married him, he got injured and now you’re leaving because you can’t handle being married to a blind man.”
Cheyenne opened her mouth but words wouldn’t come out. Heather raised a hand, stopping her.
“Cheyenne, I don’t think that—at least not all of it. I know the truth about your marriage. People in Dawson don’t. And of course Reese won’t hurt you by telling them.”
“That’s good.” She shook from head to toe, and she had to clasp her hands to keep them from trembling. “This isn’t about Reese’s blindness. I’m letting Reese go.”
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