by Chloe Walsh
"Hunter." Hope smiled wearily up at my face. "She's like thirty minutes old. All she wants is my breast."
"Then give it to her," I replied without hesitation. I pressed a kiss to her tiny head before placing her back in her mother's arms. "Hey – what about a middle name? Have you thought of one?"
Hope nodded slowly. "I have."
I arched a brow. "Care to let me in on it?"
I watched Hope as she put the baby to her breast and then sighed softly. "I think her middle name should be Hayley."
My heart.
My fucking heart was exploding inside my body.
"You'd want to do that?" I whispered, shaking my head in confusion. "Why?"
Hope looked up at me with the brightest blue eyes and said, "I owe her everything I have. You? Who you are? How hard you love? The man you are today? It all started with Hayley."
"I love you more," I managed to strangle out. "You know that, right? What I had with Hayley? It was first love stuff. Nothing close to how I feel for you. And if it came down to the wire, it's you, Hope Carter. Every single time."
"I know that," Hope replied, smiling. "I just think she deserves to be remembered."
And there she was; throwing me through another loop, making me feel so fucking unworthy of the amazing person she was.
"Abigail Hayley Casarazzi," I whispered, feeling more love in this moment than I ever thought I could. "Goddamn, Hope Carter, it's you and me, baby. Lifers."
"Ride or die, right?" she shot back, smiling.
"Ride or die, baby," I confirmed with a wink.
****
Chapter Seventy
Hope
At 6:38am on the fourteenth of February, weighing a hefty nine pounds six ounces, Abigail Hayley Casarazzi made her grand entry into the world, having come very close to being born in the middle of a crime scene.
Thankfully, she was brought into the world at St. Luke's Hospital in Boulder by an actual doctor with an MD and not the overly helpful, criminal gang member Gonzalez had vouched for.
Childbirth was by far the most amazing feeling I had ever experienced – the most painful too – made bearable by the fact that her father was in the room and by my side the entire time.
Her father was there.
Alive.
In the hours since she was born, Hunter told me everything; explaining every single mind-blowing detail from the night he 'died' at the Ring of Fire to his return to Boulder last night.
When he told me, I was stunned.
I was angry.
I wanted to shout at him.
I did shout at him.
I was so unbelievably overwhelmed about the whole ordeal that I actually threw up in a disposable bed pan.
And then I cried in his arms for what felt like an eternity, before I dared to allow myself to acknowledge the truth that he was really here.
He really came back to me.
Not only had Hunter come back home to me, alive and breathing, but he had managed to do the impossible.
David was finally gone.
He was dead.
Hunter did that.
He did that for me.
For our daughter.
He kept his promise.
And he was still right by my side, keeping his promises, loving me and only me, giving me protection, nurturement, loyalty, support, and unconditional love.
Sure, he was capable of terrible things, but he was one hell of a good man.
For several hours after Abigail's birth, Hunter and I locked ourselves away from the rest of the world, together with the baby we had created, holding onto each other because we knew how unbelievably lucky we were to have been given a second chance.
Because there had been a time in both our lives when we thought we would never see each other again, and we refused to take it for granted.
When my family finally clawed their way into the room later that morning, we were bombarded with questions, everyone as stunned as I had been to see Hunter in the flesh. Cameron was the only member of my family absent, but he had called earlier to check in.
Everyone wanted to cuddle Abigail, and she was the best little baby.
She was passed around between my parents, Teagan, Noah, and four of her uncles, and never once fussed. Thankfully, the nurse intervened by chasing them all out and then making my family take turns visiting.
I think she could see how overwhelmed I felt, and her empathy made me warm to her just that little bit more – even though Hunter continued to refer to her as Whiskers.
Naturally, Mom and Dad took the first turn, eager to coo and fawn over their first granddaughter.
While Dad talked to Hunter in the far corner of the room, Mom took the opportunity to get some cuddles in with Abigail, whose name I quickly learned had already shortened to Abi by everyone in the family.
When it was Dad's turn to hold her, I honestly didn’t think he would give her back.
"I love her," he said over and over as he rocked my tiny daughter in his arms. "Look at her, Lee."
"I see her, Kyle," Mom cooed dotingly.
"We have a granddaughter," he whispered, as if the thought had only just come to him. "A girl."
"It's about time we had a change from all these boys," Mom teased.
"And she's blonde," Dad cooed, babbling down at my daughter. "Yes, you are. You are just the most beautiful little girl." He paused and looked to Hunter. "I hope you've enjoyed whatever sleep you've had before today, Luck," he told him before turning his gaze back to my baby. "Because you will never sleep a solid eight hours for the rest of your life…. No, he won't," Dad's voice transformed into a soft coo as he babbled lovingly. "You're going to break your Daddy's heart, aren’t you, Abi?"
"Thanks for the heads up," Hunter shot back dryly as he leaned back on the bed and wrapped an arm around my shoulders.
"And when she's all grown up and headstrong like her mommy, and brings home a big, grizzly, tattooed punk?" Dad continued to tease.
"She's not going to do that," Hunter growled. "Because she'll know her daddy keeps a Glock in the house for occasions like that."
"Time's up, Carter," Teagan called out as she poked her head around the door and beamed. "You're holding up the line."
****
Colton, and Logan came in next, and they brought Cash and Casey with them.
Like I had predicted, the two younger boys had as much interest in their baby niece as they had in watching paint dry.
Their whole attention was fixated on the man who had come back from the dead.
Cash hooted and cheered when he saw for himself that Hunter was alive and home.
Poor Casey burst into tears, too overwhelmed to handle the emotions battering his tiny heart.
I think I fell even deeper in love with Hunter when I watched him pick Casey up and give him a huge hug.
Casey wasn’t an overly affectionate child as a rule, but his little hands were wrapped so tightly around Hunter's neck that I was sure he was choking him.
The bond between them, and how Hunter could be so compassionate and make my brother feel so important pushed me into an emotional overload.
Hunter knew he needed that little bit of extra support and patience, and he gave it to him – just the same as he always had.
Watching them interact broke a dam inside of me and I bawled like a baby for no reason, except that I was happy.
****
When Noah burst into the room a little while after, I had never seen such excitement on his face.
His brown eyes landed on Hunter, and he rubbed his chest, looking winded.
Looking like he had just seen a ghost.
"I spend a small fortune giving you a decent send off," Noah growled, eyes locked on Hunter as he slowly walked towards him. "I name my son in honor of you." A small smile crawled across his face. "And you don’t have the decency to be dead?"
Hunter smirked, closing the space between them. "You know what they say about killing a bad thing, Messina?"<
br />
"Yeah," Noah shot back gruffly, browns eyes burning with emotion. "Make damn sure he's dead."
And then they hugged.
"Fucking asshole," Noah grumbled, still hugging Hunter. He playfully shoved him away before embracing him one more time.
"Missed you, too, man," Hunter chuckled.
"I have a shit ton of questions that I need answering," Noah announced with a wry smile. "But first thing I really want to know is; who the fuck has been sitting on my mantel piece for the past six months?"
****
"Want to hear something seriously messed up?" Hunter chuckled as he handed Abigail over to Noah for a cuddle. "You're my daughter's great-uncle."
"Shut the fuck up," Noah growled as he swaddled the tiny pink bundle in his huge tattooed arms. "I'm twenty-six years old, dammit, and I've got a five-month-old son at home. That's too young to be a great anything."
"Oh, Jesus," Teagan laughed. "Luck's right. Kyle's the grandpa, and you're his brother." Shaking her head in amusement, she added, "I never thought about it until now, but we're Abi's great uncle and aunt."
"Thorn," Noah grumbled, never taking his eyes off my baby. "Don’t encourage him."
"Where is Finn?" I asked, pulling myself into a sitting position.
"With Max," Noah replied, studying Abigail's face with great interest. "Shit," he grumbled, leaning closer to get a better look. "This kid is gorgeous." He turned to look at Hunter and smirked. "Thank god she takes after her great-uncle."
****
The phone call from Idaho came at nine o' clock that night.
"Congratulations," Jordan's raspy voice came down the line. "Your father emailed Dad a ton of pictures. She's incredible, Hope."
"Jordan," I whispered. "I didn’t think you'd call…I didn’t expect you to."
I looked over to where Hunter was lazing on the armchair with Abigail tucked in his arms.
His blue eyes landed on mine, and all I could see was calmness.
Relief washed over me.
"Thank you," I squeezed out. "For calling. I appreciate it."
"So, how does it feel to be a mother?"
"It's everything," I sighed in contentment "I know she's less than a day old, but I honestly don’t remember what life was like before her."
"I'm really happy for you, Hope."
"Are you happy?"
There was a long pause before he finally said, "I feel content. Like I'm at peace? Or at least, I'm getting there."
"Good." Another wave of relief washed over me, cleansing my heart from all the guilt I still held inside. "I'm glad."
And I was.
I spent most of my life loving Jordan Porter, and a part of me always would.
Knowing he was truly okay meant so much to me.
"I, uh, met someone," he continued to say, chuckling almost nervously. "Someone nice…I think."
"Really?"
"Yeah," he confirmed. "It's still early days, but I'm talking now. Giving her total disclosure."
I wasn’t sure how hearing Jordan telling me he'd met someone else would make me feel.
I knew there was a time when it would have crushed me, but now?
I felt…indifference?
Relief that a long, distant relation was succeeding in life?
I couldn’t put my finger on it, but I was certain it wasn’t the way a normal ex-wife would feel when her ex-husband told her that he was moving on.
I guess that's because we were never really husband and wife.
We had been childhood sweethearts playing house and chasing a memory.
It was bittersweet.
And it was over.
"Well, I hope it all works out for you," I told him, meaning every word. "You deserve to be happy."
"Yeah, so do you, Hope." There was another long pause and then his voice came down the line, "I have to go, Hope. It's past Ryder's bedtime and I need to get him settled with a story."
"Well, thanks for calling," I replied. "I appreciate it."
"Take care of yourself, Hope Carter," Jordan replied.
And then the line went dead.
The final page in our book closed forever.
"All good, HC?" Hunter asked, tone gruff, as he rocked our baby daughter in his arms.
I turned to look at him and smiled. "All good."
Hunter stood up achingly slowly and walked over to the clear basinet with Abigail fast asleep in his arms.
With more care than a person would use when removing a bomb, Hunter placed Abigail into the basinet, then straightened, looking mighty pleased with himself for successfully laying his daughter down to sleep.
Unable to stop myself, I openly ogled him from the top of his now short blond hair to the tips of his scuffed, black boots, and honest to god, the only thought I had in this moment was; what a man.
The lyrics of En Vogue's classic Whatta Man popped into my mind then and I shook my head, laughing quietly to myself.
"Something funny?" he asked, smirking, as he quietly crept over to my bed and sank down beside me, kicking his feet up on the bed alongside mine.
"Nothing," I replied, sighing in contentment as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me into his side. "I just love you so much." I bit down on my lip and smiled. "You are by far my best decision, Hunter Casarazzi."
"Right back atcha Hope Carter."
Closing my eyes, I snuggled into his body and absorbed everything about this moment.
Being in his arms again.
The feel of him.
His smell.
Everything.
The way he made my heart jackknife in my chest with just a smile.
Rolling onto my side to face him, I threw my leg over his jean clad thighs, and stretched my arm over his frighteningly thin body.
"Hunter," I whispered, more to myself than him.
He was so thin now.
Reaching under the navy hoodie he was wearing, I slowly trailed my fingertips over his stomach, pausing each time I felt a circular indent.
I found three of them, and countless welts and ridges.
"We need to enforce a new rule," I announced quietly as I craned my head up to look at him. "No more guns. You have enough holes in your body."
His blue eyes scorched me when he said, "You won't hear me arguing, sweetheart." He tightened his hold on my body with one arm and used his free hand to cup my face, his thumb trailing soft circles over my scarred cheek. "I won't let you down, Hope – you, or our daughter."
"I know," I began to say, but he cut me off.
"I mean it." Twisting onto his side, he lay facing me, our faces just inches apart. "You and her? You're my world now." He cupped my face again. "Nothing bad will ever happen to you again, sweetheart. Not while I've got life in my body."
My heart exploded at his words.
I knew he meant them.
He had proved it many times.
We had found a love in each other that healed all the broken pieces.
A love that scorched and burned, soothed and comforted.
A love that would last forever.
"Where do we go from here?" I asked, knotting my fingers in the fabric of his hoodie. "When we're discharged, I mean."
"We go home," Hunter replied in that confident, self-assured tone I loved so much. "We stick together and figure everything else out as we go." A slow smile grew across his face and he said, "And we start working on giving that daughter of ours a little brother."
I shook my head, unable to stop the laugh that spilled out. "If you think I'm going through that again, then you are crazy."
"You love my crazy," Hunter teased before kissing me deeply.
Yeah, I did love his crazy.
I loved every part of this beautifully complicated man.
And I planned on showing him how much.
For the rest of our lives.
The End
Other Books by Chloe Walsh:
Standalone Novels:
Endgame – An Oce
an Bay Standalone Novel
Seven Sleepless Nights (TBR)
The Faking It Trilogy:
Off Limits – Faking it #1
Off the Cards – Faking it #2
Off the Hook – Faking it #3
The Broken Series:
Break my Fall – Broken #1
Fall to Pieces – Broken #2
Fall on Me – Broken #3
Forever we Fall – Broken #4
The Carter Kids Series:
Treacherous – Carter Kids #1
Always – Carter Kids #1.5
Thorn – Carter Kids #2
Tame – Carter Kids #3
Torment – Carter Kids #4
Inevitable – Carter Kids #5
Altered – Carter Kids #6
The DiMarco Dynasty:
DiMarco’s Secret Love Child: Part One
DiMarco’s Secret Love Child: Part Two
Blurred Lines:
Blurring Lines – Book #1
Never Let me Go – Book #2
The Broken Series and Carter Kids Series reading order:
1. Break my Fall
2. Fall to Pieces
3. Fall on Me
4. Forever we Fall
5. Treacherous
6. Always
7. Thorn
8. Tame
9. Torment
10. Inevitable
11. Altered
The Blurred Lines duo reading order:
1. Blurring Lines
2. Never Let me Go
The DiMarco Dynasty reading order:
1. DiMarco’s Secret Love Child: Part One
2. DiMarco’s Secret Love Child: Part Two