A Face Without a Reflection

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A Face Without a Reflection Page 13

by Bowen, Linda Lee


  PART II

  U-R-HERE

  CHAPTER 13

  BORN AGAIN

  My head was spinning much too fast to be lifted, so I kept my eyes closed and lay perfectly still until the swirling subsided. I was acutely aware that everything around and about me was different, yet I was not at all anxious about where I was or what was happening. Enveloped in the peace of an indescribable love, my heart overflowed with the promise of new life. All my doubts and fears had vanished, and in their place, was the absolute assurance that nothing would ever come against me. I knew I was not alone. I was in the presence of my father.

  “I am always within,” I heard a voice say from somewhere near my heart, “and you are never without.”

  “Without what?” I wondered as a delightful wisp of honeysuckle danced beneath my nose. “Oh my,” I said, distracted by the fragrance, “I must be near the woods.”

  But the image I had of the woods near the cottage in Lindenwood instantly burst like a bubble as my eyes were awakened to the brilliant abundance that existed all around me. Nothing I had ever experienced in my days on earth could have prepared me for the wonder that assaulted my senses and stirred the very fiber of my being. My sight held me spellbound by an infinite spectrum of colors that pulsated through every blade, blossom, and leaf as they danced to the rhythm of the silent, gentle wind.

  I was aware of my presence in this measure of time, and I sensed that I was but a single note in an eternal symphony that was created long before the world began. I was mindful that my every movement altered the frequencies of all that was around me, so I moved slowly and deliberately until I was in a seated position. The succulent, sweet scent of honeysuckle twirled around my nose once again and beckoned me to follow its vaporous trail. I smiled at its urging and gazed into the distance at the playful vine as it wound itself around the trunk of a tall oak tree and moved with ease toward the branches above.

  “My word!” I declared. “You certainly know how to climb.” I laughed as the honeysuckle clung to the trunk of the tree that welcomed it so graciously. “It’s as if the oak had been waiting for the vine all along…so he could be complete.” The thought of being made whole by the presence of another overwhelmed me, and a tear slid down my cheek as I looked to the heavens and gave thanks to the One Who Provides.

  “Wait a minute,” I said, snapping out of my grateful state. “That doesn’t sound like me.” I sprung to my feet and began a careful examination of all that I could see of who I was. I stretched out my arms and noted the light-brown corduroy sleeves with soft, pink plaid lining that were rolled up just beneath my elbows. The jacket, which seemed rather small, hung over a short green shirt that was dotted with rosebuds and finished with white scalloped trim.

  “These aren’t my clothes,” I muttered, looking down at the multipocketed khaki pants and gray rubber boots. Pulling a handful of wavy, auburn hair over my shoulder, I exclaimed, “And this is not my hair!”

  I twisted and twirled in every direction, looking up and down, over and under, inside and out before I decided I was no longer in Lindenwood. To my great surprise, I wasn’t unhappy about this revelation. In fact, I was excited.

  I scanned the landscape and listened intently for clues as to where I might be. A cool breeze washed over me, and with it came the sweet smell of dry earth after a long-awaited rain.

  “Water!” I said, as the sound of a babbling brook trickled into my ears. I quickly followed it down a hill and through a cluster of trees to a pool of crystal-clear water. The water seemed unconcerned with the obstacles that were in its path as it rippled over rocks and floated around branches, making its way toward a destination that was completely unknown.

  “The water certainly has great faith about where it’s going,” I said as a piece of bark swerved around a large rock and was followed by some leaves and twigs that were all riding the current. “And it looks like there are others who want to go there, too! Have a wonderful journey!” I called out as I waved to those who were on their way to somewhere else.

  Glancing at the small hand that was waving in the air, I wondered who was attached to the other end. I scanned the stream for still water and ran down the bank to a patch of soft, mossy earth. I knelt down and planted my hands as close to the water as possible and leaned as far forward as my balance would allow. Peering into the crystalline pool beneath me, I saw…nothing.

  “That’s impossible,” I said, staring into the dark water.

  I glanced up at the branches of the trees that stretched above my head and the clouds that floated in the azure sky. But the water reflected none of the beauty that existed all around it, including that of the face gazing on it now.

  “Oh my heavens!” I declared to the unrelenting pool. “It’s true!” I leaned over the water to search for my reflection once again, but it was not there. “And…I’m her,” I said, confirming what I already knew. “I’m Mira.”

  The words had no sooner left my lips when a voice rang out from the top of the hill on two lilting notes—one high, one low.

  “Meeer-ahhh! Diii-nahhh!”

  And my now small voice sang back its sweet reply, “’Kaaay, Mahhhm!”

  CHAPTER 14

  U-R-HERE, BUT WHO ARE YOU?

  I came upon a tiny thatched hut near the stream as I walked up the hill toward the house, and taking just a moment, I wandered over and looked inside. “Hello!” I called out. “Is anyone home?” I didn’t expect an answer, although I was hoping for a sign that the bunny hut was occupied. “Well,” I rationalized, excusing the inhabitants for being elsewhere, “it is quite a lovely day. It’s understandable that you’ve chosen to be outdoors. I suspect you’ll return when the sun sets. I do hope you have a very pleasant evening. Good night!”

  The windows of the cottage were open, and the smell of something wonderful cooking in the kitchen wafted through the air. “I hope its Love You Stew,” I said to the self that was inside me, for I no longer felt like Lily, but I didn’t feel fully like Mira either.

  “What if they know I’m not Mira?” I wondered as I stepped onto the porch. But the thought left my mind as quickly as it appeared when I turned the knob and burst happily through the kitchen door.

  “Mmm! Something smells yummy! What are you cooking, Grammy?”

  “Why, I believe that yummy smell is Love You Stew! But it’s not for little girls with mud all over them.”

  I looked down at my knees, which were caked with mud from kneeling next to the stream. “Oops, I’m sorry, Grammy!” I stepped outside and brushed the mud and moss from my pants, took off my boots, and went back inside. “How’s this?” I asked.

  I stood by the door, waiting for her approval before venturing any farther. The room was just as I had imagined it, with lots of cabinets and plenty of counter space for rolling dough and preparing large meals. Grammy stood in front of a white cast-iron stove, stirring the pot of stew with one hand while opening one of the oven doors with the other.

  She turned her head my way and smiled. “Much better, dear! Why don’t you run upstairs and take a bath before dinner? I suspect there’ll be a few guests joining us this evening, and I could use your help to get things ready.”

  “Okay, Gram,” I said happily. “Where’s Mum?”

  “She’s getting a few jars of figs and nuts from the cellar. I want to make a lemon millet fig cake for dessert. Mr. Wallace will be with us tonight, and he’s very fond of fig cake.”

  “Mmm, I’m very fond of it too!”

  Grammy laughed as I ran down the hall.

  “The stairs are to my right,” I thought correctly. “Five steps, then a landing. Another right turn, then seven steps to the hallway.”

  When I reached the top of the stairs, I instinctively turned left and walked confidently into the main bathroom at the end of the hall. The big white tub with clawed feet was where I expected it to be. A stopper hung from a chain attached to the faucet, which I fit it into the drain, then turned the water on full blast.
Freshly laundered towels were neatly stacked in the closet, and I buried my face in one to get a whiff of the sweet summer scent before placing it on the rack by the tub. I took off my clothes, placed them in the hamper, and stuck my big toe in to test the water. The temperature was just right, and the water was deep and inviting, so I took a big breath, pinched my nose, and slipped as far down as I could go. My long, wavy hair floated wispily around me, and I swished my head from side to side to keep it from sinking.

  I was completely content underwater, and I might have stayed there all evening if Mum hadn’t come in to check on me. I felt her presence as she entered, but I was too preoccupied with being fully submerged to react. With my eyes shut tight and nose still pinched, I tilted my head back to let my thick, wet mane drift lazily behind me. Then I lifted my face above the water just far enough to take a gulp of air, and I slipped back to the bottom once again. Mum knelt beside the tub, her arms resting on the rim.

  “Mira,” she chortled happily as she leaned over the water.

  My heart leapt at the sound of her voice, and my head popped out of the water like a balloon that was suddenly released from the bottom of a pool. I spat and sputtered while trying to part the heavy, wet curls from my face. She reached for a towel and gently dried the droplets that clung to my lashes, freeing my eyes to gaze upon her beautiful face. I was instantly in love with her. Her crystal-blue eyes were as bright as the stars on a cloudless night, and her smile seemed to tickle her cheeks, which somehow made her eyes shine even brighter. It seemed as though every good and perfect thing that existed in this world or any other was alive within her, and I smiled at her with my whole heart.

  I couldn’t take my eyes from her as she chatted about the garden she and Grammy were planning while she shampooed my hair and washed the bottoms of my feet. I listened intently and occasionally added an “Ooh!” or “Ahh!” to let her know I was interested. But I didn’t want to interrupt a single word, as her voice was like a lovely instrument, and every sound was music to my ears.

  When the shampooing was done, she pulled the stopper from the drain and turned the water on, so I could stick my head under the faucet and rinse out all the soap. It took a while, and the tub was nearly empty when she placed a plastic bowl under the stream of water, filled it to the brim, and poured it over me from my neck down. It was nice and warm. When she was satisfied that I was free from any soapy residue, she took my hands and helped me out of the empty tub and wrapped a sweet-smelling towel around me.

  “Dry off, darling, and brush your hair,” she said as she kissed my forehead. “I’m going to help Grammy in the kitchen. We’ll see you soon.”

  “Okay, Mum,” I said without missing a beat, and I gazed at her in awe until she disappeared through the door.

  Water trickled from my hair and down my spine as I stood transfixed, staring at the closed door. I swallowed hard as my eyes welled with tears. “She believes I am Mira,” I said to myself. And I believed it too.

  I wrapped the towel around me and winced as I reached for a hairbrush that sat on a small table beneath the window. I was expecting this to be an arduous task; but to my surprise, the brush glided through my thick, wavy locks without so much as a snag. “Everything about her is perfect,” I thought. And suddenly the idea of leaving my old, highly imperfect self behind seemed like a stroke of sheer genius.

  A small tube of toothpaste and a soft-bristled brush sat in a blue plastic cup that was settled in the well of a wall-mounted holder near the sink. After a vigorous brushing, a good rinse, and a spit, I wiped my mouth with the hand towel and stared at the cabinet above the basin. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but something about the cabinet bothered me.

  The door was nearly flush to the wall, so the cabinet must have been built into it. But why wasn’t there a knob to open it? I tilted my head to the side and leaned over the sink to look under the cabinet for a groove that would aid in opening the door. But there was none. I tucked my fingers under the frame and was about to give it a tug when I was acutely aware that I was about to break a long-standing house rule.

  “Don’t go looking for trouble,” I heard a voice say.

  “Thank you,” I replied, without a thought as to whom I was speaking. “That’s very good advice!”

  I hurried down the hall toward my bedroom. I was already getting excited about seeing Mum and Grammy, and I couldn’t wait to get dressed and join them in the kitchen. I turned the knob, flung open my bedroom door, and stepped onto a white furry carpet that felt like a cloud of spun silk. I wiggled my toes into the dense pile until they had nearly disappeared. The sensation was unlike anything I’d ever experienced, yet it was delightfully familiar. “This house was built for falling in love with everything in it…over and over again.”

  “Love and care for all things,” a voice reminded me. “And for all things, give thanks to the One Who Provides.”

  “That’s the key,” I said aloud as I danced through my room on a silky cloud.

  CHAPTER 15

  MEETING DADDY

  There was much milling about in the kitchen as the visitors flowed steadily in. It was then that I first witnessed the miracle of provision, as a bounty of food appeared from nowhere and the house expanded to ensure everyone was comfortable. The table, which was perfect for four earlier in the day, seated twenty or more by the time dinner was served.

  Grammy smiled as she handed bowls and platters of fresh vegetables, grains, chicken, and fish to those who offered a helping hand. Mum was making a big pitcher of lemonade when I walked into the room. She turned to greet me, as did everyone else.

  “Hello, Mira dear! You look lovely today!”

  “Mira! So happy to see you!”

  “Hello, everyone!” I said as I made a beeline to Grammy and Mum. “I’m so happy you’re all here.”

  Mum leaned over and kissed my forehead as she handed me a pile of napkins and flatware. I was just about to start setting the table when a pair of hands covered my eyes, and a deep, round voice said, “Guess who, or you shan’t move!”

  I heard Mum giggle, and Grammy said, “Oh Jairus! You can’t fool her. That child of yours would know your touch anywhere.”

  Child of yours. The words swirled around in my brain, and my heart skipped a beat when I realized that the hands that were touching my face belonged to my father.

  “Daddy!” I squealed in unbridled joy as the rest of the house fell silent.

  My eyes were weepy when he spun me around and lifted me to kiss my cheek. I wrapped my arms around his neck so tight that I nearly strangled him. But I couldn’t help myself. This was my father. My daddy! I’d waited so long to meet him, and now I was holding him. And he was holding me.

  “Good heavens,” he said, loosening my grip. “I haven’t gotten a greeting like that in a month of Sundays.” He lowered me to the ground and stroked the top of my head with his gentle hands. “I can’t think of a better way to get a hello from my little girl.”

  I stood motionless, with my eyes wide and a big, sappy grin on my face. “Daddy!” I sighed.

  He laughed and pinched my cheeks. “Yes, my darling, I am most definitely your daddy. And I love every moment of it. Now, what do you say we help Mum set the table? You already have a handful of napkins and flatware. I’ll grab some dishes, and we’ll get this show on the road.”

  He pulled a stack of dinner plates from the cabinet and said, “Follow me! We will start a parade.”

  Several folks had been watching us and decided to join in the fun. Some picked up more dishes, others grabbed cups and saucers, and they fell in line behind the grand marshal.

  “Ha-ha! We’ve done it, Mira! Look at the splendid parade we’ve made.”

  “Woo-hoo!” I giggled as I raised my hand filled with forks like a baton.

  I followed the leader down the hall, through the living room, onto the porch, and back into the dining area, where we each put down our items and collectively created the most beautifully set table in the hap
piest house that ever was.

  Then my father stood back to look at this masterpiece and said, “All glory and honor to the One Who Is, Was, and Always Will Be.”

  And everyone responded with a resounding “Amen!”

  CHAPTER 16

  MEETING MICAH

  There were many seats at the expanded table, but only one was empty. It was clear that the empty chair was intentional, as no one tried to sit in it even though there was a place setting in front of it. I was quite curious about the vacant seat when another visitor wandered in.

  “Micah! We’re so happy you could join us,” Mum said as she stood to greet him. “Please take your usual seat. You’ve come at the perfect time. We were just about to say grace.”

  “Thank you, Mum,” he said as he kissed her cheek. I apologize for being late. But I was fishing with the boys on the lake today when out of the blue, Peter decided to get out of the boat…without me!”

  “Good heavens!” Grammy cried, as everyone gasped. “What happened?”

  “Ha-ha!” He laughed as he made a loud clap with his hands. “He sunk like a rock, of course.”

  The room filled with laughter as Micah looked at me from the other end of the table and smiled.

  Who is he? I wondered as I smiled back. He was not like anyone I’d ever seen. His long, dark hair and short beard suited him but clearly set him apart from the other clean-shaven men at the table. He was tall and lean with piercing blue eyes and a smile that ended in a deep dimple on just one side of his face. He wore sandals, jeans, and a white collarless shirt with rolled-up sleeves that looked like it had just been taken from the dryer. But it wasn’t his appearance that set him apart from everyone else in the room. It was the warm glow that lit up his face that pulled you in, and I wanted to get close to him just to experience his light.

 

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