She chewed her lip, steeling her gaze before continuing. “You can’t keep pretending to be human. You can pretty it up with excuses of why you’re doing it, but it won’t work, all the same. The biggest flaw in my relationship is that I will never know all of Nick the way he knows all of me.” She looked Lucy directly in the eye. “You don’t have that problem. So why are you trying to purposely add conflict to what could otherwise be a perfect life for you?”
A shiver ran up Lucy’s spine, a bit of numbness settling heavily in her fingertips. She understood exactly what Jo was telling her, but she didn’t want to accept it. It was all just too much, too soon, too many ways that this could all go south. It was a mistake to talk about these things after all.
“Just think about it, okay?” Jo finished, the concern returning to her eyes. She placed a gentle hand on Lucy shoulder. “Remember that, for all the trials you faced, you would have never met Dan if it were not for the bear inside of you.” She stood, smiling. “I’d give anything to be offered the opportunity you have with Dan right now. I don’t want to see you throw it all away because one person tried to ruin your life.” With that, she departed the office.
Lucy sat in silence for a while after that, the paperwork she’d tasked herself with long forgotten. Jo had given her an entirely new side of the battle to consider. She’d spent so much of her life caught up in the fear of her bear and what it meant for her as a person that she hadn’t truly realized the possibility of what she could do with it and the good she could work toward. It was true, though Lucy had tried for so long to shun her bear half, she would always understand Dan in a way that Jo would never understand Nick. In so many words, Jo reminded Lucy that she was there, too, and to half-heartedly imitate the struggle she faced wasn’t fair to her. Realizing just how insensitive she must’ve come off, Lucy dropped her head into her hands with a groan as a pang of regret resonated in her heart.
Dan had tried to tell her that being a shifter wasn’t a bad thing, and though she understood the words he was speaking, she didn’t want to understand what he was saying at all. She remained emboldened by her original vow, never once letting anyone in. It was the only way to keep herself safe from falling into the same traps Dominic had. She’d seen aggression called power, violence called dominance, and the rage that tied it all together under the guise of protection. But what if Jo was right? What if that wasn’t the bear, but the rotten person that her brother was underneath? Did it change anything between her and Dom? She wasn’t sure.
Did it change anything between her and Dan?
Her bear’s first instinct was to trust Dan, and she had to admit to herself that she felt the same. Being with him felt right, like the single most right thing she’d ever done in her life. He wasn’t perfect, but he was close enough that she would be a fool to turn him away. At least now she was ready to listen. Jo had opened a floodgate of understanding in her, and it was long overdue that she’d let Dan speak his piece. She felt like she could trust him to protect her, listen to her, and make her happy, but could she trust that he wouldn’t urge her to use her shifted beast to enact violence on others in the way Dominic had made her do in the past? She didn’t know the answer to that either, but she was hoping the answer was yes.
Perhaps tonight, she’d be able to finally have a heart-to-heart with him about everything she and Jo had just talked again.
And maybe, just maybe, she’d find the courage to shift again.
Chapter Fourteen
Dan couldn’t help but grin as Lucy climbed down from Nick’s truck. He’d tested the path to their destination shortly before picking her up, and opted for the truck last minute, after all. He didn’t want her to be too exhausted to enjoy their dinner, but he also didn’t want her to feel like he was subliminally pressuring her into shifting to make the walk a bit easier.
“I hope you’re wearing sensible shoes,” he called as she walked over to him. “This is as far as the truck can take us.”
“I am,” she retorted lightly, a smile in her eyes. “Though not sensible enough to go anywhere too ridiculous.”
Dan snaked his arms around her waist, pulling her tightly against him as he pressed his lips to hers. She responded almost immediately, melting into the embrace as she rested her hands against his chest. He pulled away just enough to breathe, “Don’t worry. If it turns out to be too ridiculous, I’ll carry you there, myself.” He gave her one last quick kiss before stepping back and holding out his hand. “Now let’s go. As amazing as kissing you can be, if we don’t hurry along, we’ll be late.”
“Late?” she queried, voice a bit breathy from the kiss they’d shared. “Late for what?”
He beckoned to her once more with his outstretched hand, and when she finally took it, his eyes glimmered with excitement. “Secret.” He watched the intrigue brighten her face as he tugged her gently with the first step. He wasn’t lying; as much as he wanted to sweep her up in his arms and carry her back to the shop, he honestly felt that this trip would be worth it.
“A secret?” she repeated, and Dan could hear the smile in her voice from where she walked behind him. “Are we headed to the build site to help Tom and Savannah?”
Dan shook his head. “Nope. That’s more to the west; we’re headed almost directly north.” He glanced back at her. “Plus, it’s actually starting to look more like an actual house now than a building site. Tom actually said that they could probably start sleeping there as early as the end of the week!”
“Oh wow!” Lucy replied. “You guys certainly work fast.”
Dan nodded proudly. “We have bigger, bear-ier fish to fry,” he said. “Couldn’t afford the luxury of taking our time. But the house is structurally sound and built to their design tastes at least, so I’m happy for them. I know Tom probably can’t wait to move in.”
“Then maybe we can have the shop to ourselves every once in a while,” Lucy mused aloud before hesitation hitched her voice. Dan grinned. He’d be lying if he hadn’t been thinking the exact same thing for a little while now. The more time they spent together, the more he’d longed for a place to call their own. And sure, having the shop to himself sounded like an amazing opportunity at first, but he knew it wouldn’t be long before he started to feel lonely again.
If he suggested it, maybe Lucy would consider moving in. If she was worried about things moving too fast for them, she was more than welcome to set up shop in the vacant room that Tom and Savannah would leave behind. He couldn’t see a down side to at least bringing it up in casual conversation. He decided to do exactly that tonight.
“We’re almost there,” he murmured excitedly, giving her hand a little squeeze. “But I’ll warn you, this last bit is going to get a little steep. Let me know if you want a piggy back ride at any time.” He flashed her a grin and she smiled in return.
“I think I can handle myself, sailor,” she replied, smugly, and it made his heart warm. He admired that she wasn’t afraid to flaunt her independence. He wanted to protect her in all things, but she wasn’t helpless, and something about that made him and his bear feel comfortable.
The bear growled lowly, as if to warn Dan to remain alert, and he responded automatically by scenting the air. He was getting better at using his bear senses in his human form, and was quick to note that no danger was near. He and Lucy were safe. The bear snorted softly, as if warning Dan to make sure it stayed that way.
Dan didn’t need to be told. He already knew without speaking it aloud that he’d do everything within his power to make sure nothing ever hurt Lucy again. It was something he wanted to do, needed to do. He didn’t know if he could put it into words if he tried, and even if he managed, he’d already promised Lucy that he’d keep that side of his life to himself. It still hurt to suppress the bear around her, especially when the bear was so peaceful around her, but he said he’d protect her. Right now, what she needed protecting from was her fear of the beasts they both had inside of them. He’d fed that fear once before, he would neve
r dare do it again for as long as he lived.
Still, it didn’t stop him from hoping that once day they might finally be able to run to this place as bears, totally free of all things, even fear.
His heart rate elevated slightly and tiny beads of sweat began to form on his brow as they made their way up the steep incline of the hill together. He could only imagine how the walk was affecting Lucy, but he knew it’d be worth it. It was more than a little out of the way, barely on the edge of Nick’s territory, but that just meant that not many people made it out this far often. The path had been almost completely hidden by undergrowth when he first found it, and he’d spent the past few days cleaning the space up in preparation for bringing Lucy there.
As they finally reached the apex of the hill, Dan doubled over, smacking his hands onto his knees as he worked to catch his breath. “Here,” he said, voice airy with light gasps.
“Good,” Lucy replied, sounding much the same. “I’m not sure if I could have made it much further.”
Dan smiled, wiping the sweat from his forehead. “But the payoff is so amazing; I’d make this same walk with you for the rest of my life.”
“The rest of your life?” Lucy repeated incredulously. “Why would you put yourself through this fresh hell on purpose?”
Grabbing her hand once more, Dan pulled Lucy a few steps further, pushing though a bushel of shrubbery that blocked their way until, finally, they arrived.
He heard Lucy’s gasp, his chest puffing with pride as he smiled happily down at her. “Now do you believe me when I say it’s worth it?” he murmured.
She didn’t speak, gazing in awe at the view that lay before them. Dan wasn’t a poet by any means, so he let the scenery speak for itself. Opens fields spread as far as the eye could see, houses miles apart from one another artfully dotting the landscape like Christmas lights. They were up high enough to see the sun as it teetered precariously close to the horizon, sunset nearly upon them as it tinted the vast sky in hues of dusky purples and pinks.
He guided her to a large, overturned tree trunk that he’d taken the time to carve into something roughly resembling a bench. He’d tossed a blanket over it to protect them from splinters, and a cooler filled with their dinner was already in place, exactly where he’d set it up before coming to collect her. Everything looked picture perfect.
“Dan, this is absolutely stunning,” she murmured, unable to take her eyes off of the view. Dan couldn’t help but watch her as she admired, her eyes sparkling in wonder as the sunset cast her skin in a warm glow. She seemed to radiate happiness from within, and in that moment, she looked more beautiful than Dan had ever seen her before.
“It’s going to get better,” he breathed, leaning in close to her ear so she didn’t have to look away. “Clear skies and a warm breeze to keep us company. I reckon that’s the perfect set up for a great dinner, complete with a clear sunset backdrop, don’t you think?”
Lucy sighed contentedly, resting her head lightly against his arm. “It sounds perfect,” she breathed, finally pulling her gaze from the stunning landscape to look up at him. “You’ve never been to this place before finding it a while back?”
He shook his head. “Nope. It’s honestly too far out of the way for anyone to happen upon normally. I was just being extra thorough with my patrolling and stumbled upon it by chance.” He wouldn’t admit it out loud, but it was likely that the reason none of the other pack members knew about this spot was because it toed dangerously on the line of Lucas’s territory. Dan knew this and the danger it could potentially pose, but he didn’t want to worry Lucy with the risky details. If they were found by anyone from the Northern Wind, he knew his bear wouldn’t let them hurt her, anyway.
She turned to get a clear look at him. “So no one else knows about this place? Not even Nick?”
His smile dwindled a bit. “No one at all,” he replied, softly. “Except us.”
Something sparkled in her eyes before she turned back to the view. Dan couldn’t quite pinpoint what it was, but his bear harrumphed satisfactorily, so it took it as a win. What was more, they finally had their ‘place’. Nick and Jo had their cabin. Tom and Savannah had their lake. And now them.
They had the hill that overlooked some of the most beautiful scenery that he’d ever seen. It was almost like it was meant to be.
Lucy stifled a chuckle, but it was heavy with the sound of unshed tears. It instantly set Dan on alert.
“Are you okay?” he asked, his voice strained as he looked her over for any obvious signs of distress.
She looked up at him. Her eyes watered, but no tears spilled, and she had a warm smile on her face. “Yes, I am,” she replied, softly. “I’m just… struggling with being treated so amazingly,” she admitted eventually. “Sorry if I killed the mood.”
Dan was already shaking his head. “No, of course you didn’t,” he cooed, trying to lift her spirits once more. “Did I do something wrong?”
Lucy shook her head, face exasperated. “No, no. I don’t mean it in a bad way. I mean, this is good,” she tried to explain. “Really good, and nice, and I’ve never been made to feel so… special?” Her brows knitted together as she struggled to find the words that fit her emotions. “I’m not sure how I’m supposed to react.” Then she smiled. “You’re not like anyone I’ve ever met before, Dan Hart.”
Dan chuckled. “I could say the same thing about you, Lucille Winters,” he breathed.
“Call me Lucy,” she retorted automatically, grinning. She sighed, and some of her smile left with it.
“I know I should be happy,” she began. “And I am. I guess I’ve just been afraid, you know? Afraid that this was all a carefully crafted illusion and not to be trusted. I didn’t want to put my faith into this—into you— for fear of it all crashing down around me at any moment.”
Dan paused a moment to process her words. “You thought I only wanted to spend a few nights with you and then break things off?” He tried to keep his tone neutral, but even he heard a bit of hurt as it slipped through.
She winced slightly, catching the tone change as well, but still she nodded. “At the back of my mind, I’ve been questioning this thing we’ve had going since the night it began. Was it real or was it fake? Was it a few nights of fiery passion that ended as quickly as it began, or was it something that I could center my life around? Was my home here with you, or was it out there somewhere else in the world, still waiting for me to find it?”
She glanced up at him before returning her eyes quickly to the view. “You have to admit, Dan, for a while there, nothing seemed secure. I’d stumbled upon a pack where no one knew me. One alpha hated me and I’m not even entirely sure he doesn’t still hate me, and no one has any reason to believe my story. Only you did, and I’ll always be grateful for that, but your word was hardly enough to get by.” A sigh slipped passed her lips. “But somehow, it worked. I was here, in a pack that promised to keep me safe; something I never thought I’d find on my own.
“Everything that came immediately after felt like a dream. Like I’d wake up at any moment and see my brother’s face looming over me. And when I was finally convinced that it wouldn’t happen, this pack still didn’t feel like home. It felt like a nice rest, like a cozy bed and breakfast that I’d made a pit stop at before heading along on the rest of my journey. Sure, everyone was certainly kind, but it was only because you paid them to be. Only, I paid in secrets, information, and aid in a turf war, not money.”
Dan opened his mouth to protest, but she shook her head before he could speak. “I know, I know, I missed the mark big time on that one. It took a lot of self-convincing, but I realize now that looking back, there was no ill will, no ulterior motives guiding Nick’s hand when he offered me a bed to sleep in, or when Jo gave me clothes from her dresser until we could buy more of my own. You’re all just so damned nice that it’s literally unbelievable.” She shrugged with a sheepish chuckle. “I told you, I’m not accustomed to kindness, sailor.”
&
nbsp; She grinned out over the twinkling houses, the purples and pinks of the evening sky that made her skin glow. “But something’s changed,” she continued. “That doubt and worry that I’d felt for so long at first receded a little more each day that I spent around you guys. And tonight, overlooking this beautiful view with you, I’m happy to say that feeling of darkness inside of me is completely gone.”
“Completely?” Dan asked, his heart doing a little flip-flop as she nodded her confirmation. “Good,” he breathed in relief. “That’s great to hear.”
Lucy smiled up at him. “In case you were wondering, I’m in this for the long haul if you are.”
He felt his old familiar smile creep across his face. “Oh, really?” he whispered, leaning in close.
She nodded, closing her eyes as he gently brushed her hair back from her face. Standing there, basking in the glow of the evening sun, she looked so at peace with the world that Dan hesitated for a moment. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to ruin such a perfect view, and he wasn’t talking about the landscape this time.
Without another thought, he pressed his lips to hers. She kissed him back automatically, sinking into his arms as he held her.
“We’re going to miss the sunset,” she whispered quietly against his lips, breathless from the kiss they’d shared.
A shiver of something like anticipation ran through Dan’s body as he held Lucy’s panting body. There was a hunger in her eyes that had nothing to do with the dinner that waited behind them, and for a split second he thought that maybe some things were worth missing. He had much more beautiful matters to attend to tonight, as far as he was concerned.
But tonight wasn’t about him. With a grin and a chuckle, he gave Lucy one last kiss before stepping away. She had already returned her gaze to the view, the sun just beginning to dip below the horizon. The sheer elation in her eyes was enough to make breaking the kiss worth it. She rested her head back against his arm in silence, but he didn’t have to. He knew that he loved this woman with all his heart.
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