“I think you’re forgetting yourself Madison. Who do you think you’re talking to?”
“I’m talking to a dead-beat father who wouldn’t know true love if it cracked him over the skull.”
“Oh, and I guess that hooligan you called a boyfriend was so much better than me.”
I advance toward him. “Yes, he was. Ryder was the best thing to come into our lives. He loved those boys, more than you could ever comprehend. What’s sad is that I allowed you to get in my head and convince me letting him go was what was best for the boys. Well, it wasn’t.”
“Are you saying you’re going back to him? Because you know what will happen if you do.”
“No, I’m not going back to him, but I’m also not letting you control my life anymore. I’m not going to prevent you from seeing the boys. I know you’ll get bored and not come around on your own, just don’t expect me to change my life to fit your specifications any longer. That, is over!” I step back a foot or two, walking to Aiden’s room. “I’ll get Aiden so you can drop him off at school.” Pressing my ear to the door, I knock softly. “Aiden?” I open the door and Aiden is laying on his stomach with his face buried in the pillow. I pad lightly over to the bed and sit next to him. I rub his back, but he brushes me off.
“Go away!”
His muffled cry brings tears to my own eyes. “I can’t. I don’t want you to cry anymore. Let’s start over? We can go to a movie after school if the weather isn’t too bad. Maybe make a blanket fort in the living to eat our dessert in after dinner?”
“Why did you make Ryder leave?!”
I inhale a ragged breath, wiping the tear that’s sliding down my face with the sleeve of my shirt. “I’m sorry Aiden. I thought I was doing the right thing.”
“Tell him to come back!”
Although I made it clear to Mitch about my decision of him not running my life any longer, I still wasn’t about to ask Ryder to come back. If something else came between us again, we’d have to experience the hurt and anguish all over again. I can’t put the boys through that. I can’t put Ryder through that. Hell, I don’t want to go through that again. What’s best for everyone is to move on. Ryder would make a wonderful husband to the right woman. I’m just not that woman for him. I come with too much baggage. He needs to make a life with someone who won’t cause him so much trouble and pain. He deserves that. “I can’t do that Aiden.”
He slowly sits up, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. “Why not?”
“I just can’t buddy.” I rub his back. “I promise things will get better. C’mon, we should get going.”
I don’t know how I’m going to get through this day after the morning I had. Taxing doesn’t even cover it. If that wasn’t bad enough, I had to sit in traffic for an extra twenty minutes due to the weather. I slump in my plush office chair, lean my head back, and close my eyes. Two minutes. I just need two minutes to relax and not think about anything. Two minutes of complete quiet.
“Hey.”
Well, so much for quiet. Heaven knows Tyler has never been quiet a day in his life. I answer him with my eyes still closed. “Hey.”
“That bad huh?”
“Yeah.” The phone ringing in my purse has me grunting, but I still don’t move an inch from the position I’m in. “I guess it’s just going to be one of those days, isn’t it?”
“You want me to get that.”
I nod. “Please.”
I hear Tyler rustling in my purse; shuffling through papers and change floating around the bottom. “You really need to clean this thing out. How do you find anything? Hello?” He pauses for a beat. “Yes, she’s right here. Hold on.” Tyler taps my shoulder. “It’s Aiden’s teacher.”
Great. I wonder what I could have forgotten to do now. I think for a second. Was there a book report due? Did I forget to give him his lunch money? At this point it could be any number of things. I get a phone call from his teacher at least a few times a month reminding me of something that slipped my mind; and now with Ryder gone, my foggy brain has become mush. “Hello?”
“Hello, Ms. Moore. This is Mrs. Greene.”
“Yes, how are you?”
“I’m fine and yourself?”
“Good, is everything okay?”
“That’s why I was calling. It’s about the trip today.”
“I’m sure I sent Aiden in with the money and trip slip last week. Was it cancelled because of the weather?”
“No, it’s only ten minutes away and it’s still snowing very lightly. We’re getting the kids loaded up on the bus now. I was just wondering why Aiden didn’t come in today. He was very excited about going to the Science Museum, is he ill?”
“No, there must be some mistake. His father dropped him off at school this morning.”
“I’m afraid he didn’t. Aiden isn’t in class. I checked the office to see if he came in late and was never logged in.”
I shoot out of my chair flashing Tyler a nervous glance and he responds in an anxious tone. “What’s the matter?”
I hold my hand up to quiet him and turn my attention back to the phone. “I don’t understand. He has to be at the school. Where else would he be?”
“I assure you he’s not. I asked the other teachers and the nurse if they’ve seen him and no one has. The security guard said he never saw Aiden come into the building, so I assumed he stayed home from school today.”
My stomach drops, my insides twisting as bile rises in my throat. “Are you telling me my son has been missing for over an hour and no one bothered to notify me earlier?!” I scream my frustration into the phone. “I’ll be right there!”
“Madison, what’s going on?”
“Aiden is missing.” I say, dialing Mitch’s number.
“Hello?”
“Mitch do you have Aiden?”
“Why would I have him? I dropped him off at school this morning.”
“Did you bring him inside?”
“No, he didn’t want me to. He said you let him go in by himself all the time. What’s this all about?”
“Our son is missing. I would never let him go into the building alone. If you were around more often you’d know that. Then you don’t even wait until he’s safely inside. You just drove away. Why am I wasting time talking to you, I’m calling the police.”
When I arrive at the school, there’s a squad car in front. I race up the steps and trip on the last one, falling to my knees. I don’t check the damage no matter how bad the pain is. I have to get inside. Maybe they’ve found Aiden, then we can go home and I’ll never let him out of my sight ever again. I race inside, crashing into the back of a police officer standing in the lobby.
He grabs me by the shoulder. “Whoa.”
“Where’s my son?”
“That’s what we’re trying to determine now Ms. Moore.”
“You mean no one is looking for him?”
“Of course we are. We’ve put out an Amber Alert and the whole precinct is out scouring the neighborhood.”
I have to get out of here and look for him myself. My poor baby is out in the cold walking around by himself in the snow. A horrible thought enters my mind. What if he was kidnapped? Oh God. What if someone took him and he’s miles away from here. I’ll never see him again. I turn to leave. “I have to go find him.”
The policeman grabs me by the elbow. “Wait a minute Ms. Moore. You can’t go right now.”
I yank my arm away. “The Hell I can’t.” I dash to the door, but am cut off by his partner. “My son is out there alone!” Tears run down my face, my chest heaving. There’s not enough oxygen in this lobby. There isn’t enough air in the world to stop me from hyperventilating.
“Ma’am please calm down, I assure you we’re doing everything we can to find him. You need to come and sit down. I have a few questions for you.”
“Can I make a phone call first?”
“Sure, I’ll be over there talking to Mrs. Greene.”
I take a few deep breath
s. Just enough to steady my hands to dial. The phone rings on the other end, once, twice, three times, four times, and then goes to voicemail. I hang up and try again. Still he doesn’t answer. I can’t leave a voicemail in a situation like this, so I hang up again and open the web browser app. I find the site and press the call button.
“Royal Express, how can I help you?” An older gentleman answers and I debate whether I should be doing this, then I remember the desperate situation I’m in. I just can’t get the words out. His loud voice booms into the phone. “Hello?”
He grumbles something and his voice becomes distant, probably getting ready to hang up on me, but I can’t have that happen. I need all the help I can get right now. “Hello! Please don’t hang up!”
Chapter Twenty-Five
Ryder
Coming in late to work was a bad idea. For most people an hour or two wouldn’t really make a difference, but for me it meant switching my route with one of the shittiest routes on the schedule. At least Quito was still here to help me pack up the truck in the loading dock. Otherwise, I think I’d be going insane right now listening to everyone talk about going home for the holidays and what presents they bought for their kids and family. I can’t fucking take it anymore. I speed up the process and pile more packages into the back of the truck, practically throwing them in.
“Hey! Take it easy.” Quito says, taking a box from my hand and places it neatly on top of the others.
“I just want to get this day over with already.”
“It will be over before you know it. Just keep busy. The time will go faster.”
“Not fast enough.” Putting my hand in my back pocket, I search for my phone to check the time. “Shit.”
“What?”
“I forgot my phone in my locker when I changed my coat.”
“We’re almost done. Get it on the way out.”
I grab another package off the conveyor belt and catch a glimpse of Phil, our supervisor, coming towards us. “Quito what did you do now?” Quito has been pulling pranks on Phil for the last three years. He even glued Phil to his office chair one day. They literally had to cut him out of his pants to get him off it. The jokes and laughter that poor man had to endure on his way to locker room to change was indescribable. The guys around here think these stunts are funny; Phil, not so much.
“I didn’t do anything.”
“Hey Storm!”
“Yeah?”
“Your wife is on the phone, she said it’s an emergency.”
All the employees stop what they’re doing and observe the conversation because everyone knows I’m single. Quito cocks a brow, smirking at me. “Since when do you have a wife?”
“I don’t.” I take another box off the conveyor belt and set it down in the back of the truck before I address my boss. “Phil, you know I’m not married. I don’t have time for games today. If this is some prank you and Quito cooked up, I’m not interested in joining in the festivities.”
“I had nothing to do with this.” Quito interjects.
Phil takes a clipboard from one of the other workers and signs something, then looks down at me again from the platform he’s standing on. “Look, that’s what the woman said. She said she was your wife and there was some kind of emergency with your son Aiden.”
Phil now has my full attention. “Aiden?” My voice is a strangled whisper, it’s so low it barely reaches my own ears. I snap my head to Quito.
“Go! I’ll take care of everything here.”
Jumping up on the platform, I race toward Phil’s office, grabbing the phone off the desk and put it to my ear. “Madison?”
She breathes out a heavy sigh. “Ryder, thank God.”
Hearing her voice, even in a distressed tone, lifts a million pounds off my chest. I thought I’d never hear the sound of her voice again. “What happened to Aiden?”
Her voice cracks, trying to hold back tears as she frantically apologizes. “I’m so sorry for everything. I’m sorry for calling you at work. I would never do anything like this if I weren’t so…”
“Madison, it’s okay. Tell me what’s going on with Aiden.”
“He’s missing.” She says on a sob.
“What do you mean he’s missing?”
“Mitch dropped him off at school this morning and Aiden never came in the building. He…”
“Whoa, hold on a second. Mitch didn’t walk him inside and hand him over to his teacher?”
“No!”
I might have thought watching Aiden hurl himself through the air on the first day I met him was the scaredest I’ve ever been, but damn was I wrong. Right now my heart is in my throat. All I know is I want to respond to Madison and nothing will come out of my mouth. My head is starting to pound, my palms becoming sweaty, and I can feel all the blood being rushed out of my body as the worst case of vertigo threatens to collapse me right where I’m standing. I draw in some much-needed oxygen and the room has stopped spinning, somewhat. “Okay, don’t panic. We’ll find him. Where are you?”
“I’m at the school. Ryder I have to find my baby and they won’t let me leave.”
“Where’s Caleb? Is he okay? Do you need me to come get him?”
“No, he’s at daycare. Tyler’s picking him up and bringing him home in case Aiden goes there. Ryder, I’m so scared. What if he was…?”
I know what she’s going to say, and I can’t think of some stranger taking Aiden away from us forever. “He’s fine! Don’t think like that. We’ll find him. I’m going to go out looking for him. He couldn’t have gone far on foot. You stay put and wait for me there.”
“Ryder...I…”
“I know Peaches. We’ll talk later. I don’t want to waste any more time.”
Jumping in my car I scour the streets looking for Aiden. My panic-stricken mind is playing tricks on me because every kid I pass seems to be him. I’m frustrated and beyond furious Mitch allowed this to happen. This is all his fucking fault. If he thought about anyone but himself for a change, my little boy wouldn’t be missing.
I drive up and down the streets that are quickly being covered by snow. It’s falling harder than it was this morning. It’s freezing out and it’s killing me inside knowing Aiden is walking around in this. Maybe he got cold and stopped in a store or the library a few blocks away from the school to warm up. When I get closer to the school I start going into stores and asking passersby if they’ve seen him as I hold up my phone to anyone who’ll look. When I get no luck, I hop back into my car and slam my hands on the steering wheel. “Damn it, where are you Aiden?”
I close my eyes and lean my head back against the seat. I can’t imagine anywhere else he might be. I have to get out of my own head and think like a seven-year-old boy. If I were him, where would I go? “Where would I go, where would I go, where would go?” I repeat softly in the small space. I have no idea where Aiden would go, but I do know where I would go. The same place I always do when I want some time to think alone. Fuck me. That’s it! I start the car and make a U-turn in the middle of the busy street and race to the park. He’s got to be there. He has to be there. It’s the only place left I can think of he’d go. The last place I may have a chance of finding him.
When I get to the park, it’s empty, all except one woman and her small child. Of course no kids would be here because they’re all in school; where Aiden is supposed to be right now. I hurry over to the woman who is kneeling on the ground, passing the baby a handful full of snow to throw. “Excuse me, have you seen this little boy?” I ask, handing her my phone with Aiden’s picture on the screen.
She gives it back to me, shaking her head. “No, I’m sorry.”
I thank her and keep walking toward the path that leads to the lake. I glance at the ground and spot a trail of small footprints in the fresh snow. I speed up my pace and breathe in nothing but freezing snow as icicles begin to form on my eyelashes, obstructing my view. I brush them away and trek on. The cold air is constricting my lungs and I can barely feel my g
loveless fingers, but when I reach the bottom of the hill I stop dead in my tracks. Aiden is sitting on the same bench we sat on weeks ago when I first brought him here. I run over to him, scooping him up in my arms. “Aiden!” I squeeze him tight to my chest. “Oh, thank God.”
“Ryder.” He whispers through chattering teeth.
Placing him on the ground, I rip my coat off and wrap it around him. He’s covered in snow, he’s pale, and his lips are turning blue. I have to get him out of here and someplace warm. I pick him up and race back to my car. By some stroke of good luck a police car slowly drives by us and I flag him down.
The officer stops the car and jumps out. “What happened?”
“This is Aiden Miller. He’s been missing since this morning. I need to get him to the hospital fast.”
“Hand him over. I’ll take him.”
I clutch Aiden into a tighter embrace. “You’re not going anywhere with my son alone. I’m coming with you.”
He opens the back door of the squad car and I hop in, resting Aiden in my lap. The officer sprints to the trunk and comes back to me with a silver reflective emergency blanket and leaps into the front seat. My head jerks back from the force of him pulling away from the sidewalk as the sirens echo in my ears. I remove Aiden’s wet hat and gloves, and stick his hands under my shirt for body heat. I flinch at the icy connection, but I settle his hands against my stomach. “Aiden, what were you doing out there?” He doesn’t answer. His lids slowly begin to close and I shake him a bit to keep awake. “Aiden! Aiden! Don’t go to sleep.”
His eyes flutter open. “I’m tired Ryder.”
“I know little man, but I need you to stay awake until we get to the hospital.” I glance out the window relieved to see the blue emergency room sign guiding us to middle of the block.
When Aiden was admitted I wasn’t allowed in his room. Since I’m not immediate family I have to wait for Madison to get here. I did manage to convince the doctor to leave his door open so I can at least sit and watch him as he sleeps. There is no way I’m going to let him out of my sight ever again, I don’t care what anyone says.
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