“No, he’s good.” But Rachel slurred the last bit, already disappearing into sleep.
Tessa turned off the lights and went upstairs to get ready for bed. She had no idea what to make of her sister’s visit, but she’d leave her some money for food in the morning and figure it out after work.
What would she do if Rachel asked to stay with her? It was the absolute worst time for her professionally, but if Rachel agreed to some ground rules, Tessa would find a way to make it work, starting with looking for a two-bedroom condo upgrade in the morning . . . yawn.
When she woke before her alarm the next morning, her mind picked up the problem-solving thread immediately. I’ll check with the leasing office on my lunch, she thought as she climbed out of bed. She always worked through her break, eating at her computer if she ate at all, but she’d pause long enough to make that call. And she’d help Rachel look for work. And . . . Whoa. Talk to Rachel first, then make plans.
But she’d do that after work, which she’d have to find a way to leave on time instead of getting into a discussion with Sanjay about power meters.
She crept down the stairs quietly, but the sofa was empty.
“Rach?” Maybe she went for coffee? Tessa should have told Rachel that her coffee pot was programmed to greet her with a perfectly timed cup every morning. Right on schedule, it chirped to let her know her cup was ready. Just as she reached for it, she heard a different, unfamiliar chirp.
She paused to listen. What was—wait. It came again, this time not a chirp, but a short squawk. She rushed into the living room just as the baby, still strapped in his seat, let out a sharper cry. Was Rachel in the guest bathroom? One glance showed the door open, the light off.
“Rachel?” But she knew she wouldn’t hear an answer.
The baby let out another cry, and though Tessa knew exactly nothing about babies, this one sounded more urgent. “Um, hi, baby. Where’s your mom?”
He only cried louder. With a touch of panic, she leaned down to figure out how to unbuckle him, but as she moved his thin blanket out of the way, her hand brushed a piece of paper.
An acidic pit opened in her stomach as she picked it up. She knew in her gut what it would say, but she unfolded it and read it anyway.
Tessa,
I’m so sorry, but I can’t do this. I’m tired inside my bones, and it’s not getting better. I’m sure you think you can’t either, but you have a job and a house and a paycheck, so you’re way ahead of me. You pretty much raised me, and you did okay. Take care of Calvin for me. I wouldn’t trust him with anyone else.
-Rachel
Chapter Four
Should he see if Tessa wanted to carpool to work this morning?
No, that was dumb. It was only a fifteen-minute drive. He could wait a few minutes to meet her at work and start the download from her brain to his.
He found his way down to the lab without a problem, but when the elevator doors opened, he discovered that even though he was five minutes early, everyone but Tessa had beaten him there.
Sanjay looked up but didn’t seem to see him at all before he turned back to his circuit board, and Darius gave him a nod and a smile.
Mary, the project manager, actually rose and walked toward him, hand extended for a shake. “Welcome to your first official day in the lab. I’m the structural engineer as well as the PM. Sanjay and Darius are our sparkies, but Darius double-majored in mechanical engineering too, so he’s a good resource. You’ll be working with Tessa most directly on solving the storage efficiencies. She wants to test some different materials because of the impacts of cadmium runoff on groundwater supplies. In the meantime, I’ll show you to your workstation and you can start reading through her documentation.” She gave a slight frown and checked her watch. “She’s always here by now. Wonder what’s holding her up.”
It still wasn’t quite 8:00, but Tessa had been first in, last out at school too, so Ethan understood Mary’s surprise. He followed her to his computer, and when she was satisfied that his login worked, she left him to read and returned to her own desk.
By 8:10, he was already deep into Tessa’s thorough notes outlining the project phases since its inception, but a startled noise from Mary turned all three of the other men’s head her way.
She looked up from her phone and met Darius’s eye. “Tessa isn’t coming in today.”
“She has to.” It was the first thing Ethan had heard Sanjay say.
“Says she’s sick and can’t make it.”
Oh no. He wondered if she’d gotten food poisoning. He felt fine, but they hadn’t shared their dishes last night.
“We need her. Can’t miss a day when there’s only five weeks to go,” Darius said.
“I know that,” Mary answered. “But if she’s too sick to work she probably wouldn’t do us any good today anyway. She’ll make up the hours. You know how she is.”
“True.” Darius rubbed his neck like it hurt. “Guess we don’t have a choice.”
Sanjay scowled but turned back to his work without comment.
Ethan slid his phone from his pocket and texted Tessa. You okay?
He waited a minute for her response, but when she didn’t answer right away, he set his phone on the desk so he wouldn’t miss her response when she did. By lunch, she still hadn’t answered, so he tried her again. Hey, I’m worried. You okay?
Five minutes later, she finally texted him. Fine.
That was it. Food poisoning? he tried.
A minute later he got a “no” and nothing else, nor did she answer him when he tried calling her midafternoon.
At five, Mary came to his desk. “I know it wouldn’t be kosher with HR, but I think Tessa said you’re her neighbor now?”
“I’m already planning to stop by,” he finished for her. “I’ll make sure she’s all right.”
Mary nodded and went back to her desk. Neither of the other men made a move to leave even though their contract days had ended. Ethan didn’t mind long hours and would have stayed longer too if he weren’t worried about Tessa. He gathered up his stuff and left, murmuring a goodbye to each member of his new team. They responded exactly as they had when he arrived; Sanjay ignored him, Darius gave him a nod, and Mary actually said, “Bye.”
He stopped by a phở place he’d noticed on the drive to work and picked up bone broth for Tessa, but when he stopped by her condo there was no answer to his knock. An uneasy feeling brushed down his spine, but he wasn’t sure what to do. He didn’t want to ring the doorbell in case she was napping, so he left the soup on her doorstep and walked across the parking lot to his own building, texting her again.
Hey. Left some food on your doorstep. I’m really worried. Text me soon?
She still hadn’t responded by the time he went to bed, and when his phone showed no texts from her the following morning, he’d maxed out his worrying capacity, so he threw on his clothes and headed straight for her place. The soup was gone, but there was no answer when he knocked. What if something was really wrong? He rang the doorbell. He hated the thought of waking her but also hated the idea that she was too ill or weak to ask for help. What if she had the flu or something?
He rang the doorbell again, waited a full minute, and then a third time. If she didn’t answer this time, he would—
“Hey.” She cracked the door a few inches, and his worry ratcheted down a gear. He caught a glimpse of pajama bottoms and a crumpled T-shirt, and her hair stuck up in a couple of places, but her color was normal, and her eyes were clear.
“You okay?” he asked.
“Yeah, fine.”
She was standing at an awkward angle, he realized, like her right hip was cocked as she leaned to the left. “You sure? If you need something, I can help. I was worried when you didn’t come in yesterday. We all were. Even Sanjay, I think, if I read his blinks right. I promised Mary I’d check on you.”
“Tell her I still don’t feel well enough to—” The distinct sound of a baby cry interrupted her. It was
a sound he knew well even if he hadn’t heard it in a very long time.
“Um, Tessa? What’s going on?”
She sighed and opened the door further to reveal a baby cradled against her side in the football hold that he’d seen his dad use a hundred times on a dozen babies. Tessa was doing a much more awkward version of it.
“Oh.” It was all he could think to say.
“Yeah,” she said. “That about sums it up.”
“It’s not yours, is it?” Seemed like it would have come up before now. It also sounded like something that was none of his business, and he winced at his own question.
“Not mine, but currently my problem.”
She didn’t explain, and they stood there staring at each other in silence. While silent stares often passed for small talk with engineers, this felt more awkward than two left shoes.
“Can I do anything?” he asked.
“I don’t know. Build a time machine and go back and fix my messed-up family history?” She sighed. “Sorry. Not your problem. I didn’t sleep much last night. Didn’t mean to leave you hanging at work. I’ll be in as soon as I can.”
“I’m not worried about that,” he said. “I came over because I was worried you were sick.”
“Not sick,” she said as the baby whimpered. “Maybe drowning. So unless you know something about babies, there’s nothing you can do.”
“I do.”
She gave him a confused look.
“Know about babies,” he clarified.
She paused a little longer, then stepped back and waved him in. He stopped inside the door, staring at the chaos in her living room. A few tiny pairs of pajamas lay in bunches on the floor, three bottles sat atop a coffee table barely visible beneath scattered unused diapers, and the faint but definite odor of dirty diapers floated on the air.
She set the baby on the floor. It kicked and stared at the ceiling fan, but Ethan had a feeling it would let out another cry pretty soon.
“So . . . what its name?” He didn’t know where else to start.
“Calvin?”
“You aren’t sure?” This was all weird. Very weird.
“I am. His name is Calvin. He’s my sister’s.”
He knelt down to study the little guy. “Nice to meet you, Calvin.”
Calvin answered with a jerky wave of his fist.
“Found out Monday night I’m an aunt to a four-month-old and woke up yesterday morning to a note from Rachel saying she couldn’t handle him, and she was taking off. Now I have six diapers left, and I don’t know how many I need so I ordered some, but I didn’t even know what size to get so I picked size four because he’s four months old, but I opened the box and I think I could fit ten of him in it, so that was wrong, and . . . ”
He realized his jaw was hanging open like he was a cartoon cliché.
“I know,” she said, catching a glimpse of his face as Calvin fussed and she hurried to pick him up again. “I think he wants to eat. I need to make his formula.” She headed toward the kitchen with the baby on her hip to open a can of formula. When she held it against herself and struggled to peel the lid off as the baby squirmed, Ethan leaped into action.
“I’ll do that,” he said, taking the can from her.
She nodded her thanks and shifted the baby to lay against her shoulder, but his fuss was transitioning into a full-blown cry, his head craning away from her shoulder as he complained.
“I don’t really know what the crying means but so far it usually means he wants a bottle or a diaper, and I just changed him, so.” She nodded at the can in his hands. “Just measure one scoop into six ounces of water and shake it up really well. If you don’t mind?”
He did as she asked and tried to process what she’d just told him. “Your sister left her kid with you and took off? Did I understand you right?”
“Yes.” The word was almost a hiss.
“Oh, man.” It wasn’t helpful, but he didn’t know what else to say. She jostled the baby up and down until he handed her the bottle. Then she repositioned Calvin and popped it into his mouth before padding over to collapse on the couch. He took the facing armchair and watched her for a minute. “I can understand why you didn’t come into work yesterday.”
“And why I can’t today. I spent yesterday texting and leaving Rachel voicemails, hoping she’d pull herself together and change her mind.” She nodded down at the baby. “I finally got a text from her last night saying she couldn’t take care of him, she was sorry, but she wasn’t coming back because she needed to do the right thing.”
Tessa closed her eyes, and a spasm of something rippled across her face. He’d seen that expression once before when they’d tested their senior seminar project, an air purifier for residential homes near industrial centers, and it had failed when Tessa had been sure it wouldn’t.
The stress on her face made him uneasy. Other people’s problems usually did when he didn’t feel like he could solve them, so he set to work solving it. He pulled out his phone. “Let’s try the department for children’s services, and then—”
“No.” Her voice was so sharp, his head snapped up. She took a deep breath. “Sorry. But no. I may not know what to do here, but I’m not going to surrender him to the system.”
“I just meant maybe they would know how to track your sister down. Or have some resources to help you.”
Tessa shook her head. “I don’t want to involve them right now because the law might say they have to take him. I need to think this through a little more.”
“Fair enough. But let me do a little research.” He did some fast googling and for a few minutes the only sound was the soft suckling of Calvin on the bottle and a few of his content grunts. It was a cute noise, but when Ethan glanced over at him, Tessa’s face looked as tense as ever. He went back to his search.
“I have some good news,” he said softly, a few minutes later. Tessa blinked as though she’d been far away. “If a child is abandoned or removed in California, the state will try to place them with a family member first. They only go into a foster or group home situation if qualified family can’t be located.”
“I’m not qualified,” she said.
“In this case they mean so long as the temporary guardian doesn’t have a criminal record or any clear danger signs, the child can stay with you. But then CPS can start working on a more permanent solution.”
“Rachel will pull herself together and come back.” Tessa slumped a little as she said this, changing the angle of the bottle and causing Calvin to protest. She flinched and repositioned the bottle.
Ethan did some more research before trying again, forcing himself to think about the problem and not the child. “There’s no way that CPS is going to remove him. Most foster systems are so overloaded that for someone in your circumstances and with your background, they’ll be glad to leave him with you until they have time to look into it further, but in the meantime—”
“My background is that I don’t know anything about babies. I’m only three years older than Rachel, and I don’t even remember her as a baby. I cleaned houses to make money, so I wouldn’t have to babysit.” She glanced around the living room. “Not that you can tell from this disaster zone.”
Ethan stood and began gathering up the strewn unused diapers. “It looks worse than it is. This’ll clean up easy.”
“Ethan.” Her voice was quiet but held an unmistakable warning, and he straightened immediately. “I know we engineers like to fix problems more than we like anything else on this planet, but right now I don’t want you to fix anything. I’m overwhelmed, and I’m trying to process everything.”
“Process,” he said, eager to latch onto a word that gave him a place to work from. “That’s what it is, you know. You need a process, and you’ll feel better. What if you—” She glared at him, and he swallowed the rest of his words. He set the diapers he was holding on the table, sat, and took out his phone.
“Ethan.” Still that note of warning. “Stop googli
ng.”
“I’m not.” He finished typing and looked up. “I just texted Mary that I wouldn’t be in today either.” It might be the exact wrong move for him. But he couldn’t leave her with borderline panic all over her face.
An emotion flickered across hers now, one he couldn’t read, a feeling that always made him anxious. It was like driving blind when he couldn’t decode someone’s expressions.
When she spoke, all she said was, “We can’t both be gone. You have to go in.”
“Why? I’m supposed to work with you, and you’re not there, so it’s not going to be a big deal if I keep reading through your notes here instead. In fact, it’s better because I can ask you questions.” He tapped out another message to Mary. “I just told Mary that. It’s fine.”
“It’s not fine. She’s going to freak out. It’ll calm her down if she can at least see you in the lab.”
“Tessa . . .” He sighed, not sure how to make his next offer. “I don’t want to offend you by saying this, but honestly, I think you need some sleep, and maybe then you’ll feel a little better about everything. Kind of put it all in perspective?” He trailed off as her eyebrows rose higher with each sentence. Apparently, he had picked the wrong way to phrase his offer.
She gave him a smile that looked like she had reached down to pull it up from somewhere painful. “I didn’t sleep much,” she admitted. “But Rachel left him with me. Watching him is my job.”
“Want to know why I know about babies?”
Her eyes widened for a minute. “I can’t believe I didn’t even ask you that. Yes. Why doesn’t baby stuff freak you out?
“My parents fostered from the time I was twelve. I think they got tired of waiting for my older sisters to settle down and give them grandkids, so we had a lot of babies come through. It was a long time ago, but I’m pretty sure babies are still kind of the same. I can keep an eye on this guy while you take a nap. You can call my mom if you need a reference. I’m not even kidding.”
She looked between him and Calvin. “You sure you’re okay with keeping an eye on him?”
“I can get my siblings on the phone to offer testimonials too if it’ll make you feel better. All three of them have kids. I don’t see them much, but I’m good with their kids too.”
Always You: A Sweet Romantic Comedy (ABCs of Love Collection Books 5-8) Page 3