by Jones,Lesley
Liam cleared his throat from behind me, while I glared wide eyed at her. What a traitor. Last time I’d been to stay, Sasha had been with me, and we’d sat up enjoying a few wines with Nan, discussing men and sex. I may have had a few too many and revealed things about my sex life that I had no right discussing with my seventy-six year old Nan.
“Don’t give me that look, Sarah. If he’s that good, I wanna meet him. Might even take him for a test run myself, so you better watch out.”
I stepped aside and reached for Liam’s hand so I could pull him forward.
“You’ll do no such thing, Nan. What would Grandad say if he heard you wanted to chase after younger men?”
“He wouldn’t say anything. He’d just be happy that they were making me happy and saving him a job.”
“Seriously, Nan, can we not go there?” I heard Luke say from beside me.
“I’m sure there’s plenty of men out there that would love to make you happy, Mrs Carter, but this one is very much taken. I’m Liam, Liam Delaney, Sarah’s boyfriend.”
Liam laid on the charm, giving her his best crinkle-eyed smile and a wink.
“Oh my days, would ya hark at that accent. No wonder you let this one into ya knickers! I wouldn’t even bother wearing any around him.”
“Nan!” I’m not sure who screeched her name louder, me or Luke.
“Oh shut up, the pair of ya, I’m just pulling your leg.”
She rubbed her hands together before holding one out.
“Less of the ‘Mrs Carter’. It’s Mai or Maisie, whichever you prefer.”
“Good to finally meet you, Mai. I’m sorry it’s taken so long to make it happen.”
“Get here and give me a cuddle, and I might let you off.”
Liam didn’t hesitate to step forward and embrace Nan. I watched as she ran her hands up and down his back, but my smile turned to a look of horror when they moved down to grab his arse cheeks.
“Nah, you’re no good to me. You’re safe, Sarah, I won’t be running off with your fella, not unless he puts on a few pounds, he’s a bit too skinny for me right now.”
“Who’s too skinny?”
Grandad strode across the lawn towards us as he dried his hands on a small towel.
“Not you, that’s for sure,” Nan called out.
“Well that’s coz you keep feeding me, woman.”
“It’s nothing to do with what I feed ya. It’s the beer you drink in that shed every day and the whiskey you sip in front of the telly every night. Not to mention the amount of liquorice allsorts you polish off every week.”
“I’m eighty years old, Maisie, I’ve worked hard all my life and raised these two fine people. I think that entitles me to drink, sip, and polish off whatever I bloody well like, which includes you when the mood takes me. So there’ll be no chasing after younger men, there’d only leave ya disappointed anyway. You’ve had sixty years of the best, there’s no going back from that.”
He looked at me and winked.
“Can the pair of you stop talking about geriatric sex for Christ’s sake? You should be done with all that by now.”
“You jealous, son? Is your ol’ grandad getting it more than you?”
Luke shook his head and headed back into the house.
“C’mon, Winston, let’s go and get drunk.” The dog followed Luke.
While Nan and Liam watched my brother’s retreat, I stepped into Grandad’s arms.
Despite his age, he was as tall, as upright and agile as I’d always remembered him to be. His once sandy hair was a little thinner, and now totally grey, but he was still a handsome man.
“How are you, Sunshine? You look well.”
“I’m good, really good.”
“The Aussie still looking after ya?”
“Very much so.”
I breathed in the scent of his Tabac aftershave, Ariel soap powder, mixed with a little bit of sweat, and something else.
“You been having a sneaky roll up in the shed?” I asked him.
Nan thought he’d given up smoking years ago, but I’d seen the tin of rolling tobacco and papers in the shed he had at our old house and knew that he enjoyed the occasional puff on a cigarette.
“Come on now, thought that was our little secret.”
“It’s not good for you.”
“I know, but it’s only every now and then. Let’s meet him then, introduce me to the bloke who’s made my Sunny Girl smile.”
“Yeah, good deflection there.”
“You like that, did ya?” he asked with a sly smile.
Why did men think that by winking or smiling at a woman they could get away with shit? Why were women stupid enough to fall for it and let them?
We both turned to face Liam and Nan. My mouth may have fallen open as I watched her touch her hair, giggle, and then reach out and touch the top of his arm. Nan was a serious flirt, and Liam was lapping it up.
“Grandad, this is Liam Delaney. Liam, this is my grandad, Archie Carter.”
Liam stepped out of Nan’s clutches and held out his hand.
“Good to finally meet you, sir. I’m only sorry it hasn’t happened sooner.”
I watched as Grandad accepted his hand and shook it, but didn’t say a word.
“It’s a beautiful place you’ve got here, thanks for the invite. Sarah and I would love to have you come down and stay with us once our place is finished.”
“You’re moving in together?”
Liam’s face was a picture, he froze, moving just his eyes to look at me. I continued watching as his mouth opened and closed at least three times.
I could’ve put him out of his misery and told him that my grandad knew full well that we were moving in together, but I thought I’d let him suffer for a little bit. Payback for flirting with Nan.
“Well, nothings actually been finalised yet, but at some stage, in the future, we’d like you to come and stay.”
“That right?”
“Yes, sir.”
“So will you be making an honest woman of my granddaughter before you move into this house you’ve bought together? Or am I gonna have to wait years for that happen and be wheeled down the aisle next to her?”
That was the moment I intervened.
“Okay, Grandad. Enough with the inquisition. Liam’s got something in the boot of his car that might interest you, don’t you, Lee?”
Liam stared at me blankly.
“Wha?”
Was all I got.
“The boot, can you pop it and show Grandad what you brought with you?”
“Ah, boot. Yeah, on it.”
I shook my head and narrowed my eyes at Grandad before heading inside with Nan.
Liam would soon win him over with the case, or slab as Liam called it, of some beer I knew he liked. And if that failed, the bottle of Macallan certainly would.
***
That night we all walked down into the village and had dinner. The boys walked ahead of me and Nan. I gathered she had something she wanted to say without the boys listening, so when she hooked her arm through mine and slowed her pace a bit, I didn’t resist. Which worked out perfectly because I knew Liam wanted to talk to Grandad about us getting married.
Getting married. Me.
I could hardly keep the smile from my face or the bats from flapping in my belly, but I tried because there wasn’t much Nan missed, and she’d soon cotton on that something was going on.
“You did good there, Sarah. He’s a keeper and obviously besotted with you. Luke said that he was a nice bloke, so I had every faith that he would be.”
“So, you couldn’t just take my word for it? Do you not think that I’m capable of making good choices when it comes to men?”
I was a little put out by what she’d said, suggesting that my choices were okay, as long as Luke backed them up.
“I didn’t mean it like that, so don’t take that attitude with me.”
My grandad might be six feet tall, but it was my little five-foot
Nan that I’d always been more scared of.
“You told me you were in love. I’ve seen for myself how happy you are every time you’ve been to visit, but we still hadn’t met him. Of course I was curious and a little concerned. It wouldn’t have mattered what Luke thought of him, he could have said he breathed rainbows and shit gold for all I cared. Until I met him for myself and was able to make up my own mind, I would’ve worried.”
“Could you not have trusted my judgement though?”
“Of course I trust your judgement, but you’re in love. For the very first time, I might add. Women in love don’t always make the wisest choices. I just needed the reassurance of meeting him for myself. I won’t apologise for that.”
Anger bubbled in my belly and rose to my chest. I knew exactly what was hidden behind what Nan was saying.
“What you mean is, you were worried I’d be just like my mother and fall for a complete loser like my father, you can just come out and say it, Nan. I know it’s what you all think—that I’m just like her. I know that you’re all just waiting for me to turn into her.”
She stopped walking and turned to face me. I’d never seen her look so angry.
“I should smack your arse for that comment. You are nothing like her, you’ve never been anything like her, and you never will be. We couldn’t be more proud of you. You and Luke. What on earth would make you say something like that?”
Nan was close to tears, which made me feel terrible for my outburst.
“Is that really what you think, that we’re all waiting for you to turn into Kate?”
I wiped a tear from under my eye. I didn’t know why I was crying, probably because I felt ashamed of myself.
My grandparents had stepped in and raised us when our own father was nowhere to be found. And they’d raised us well, supporting all our choices and decisions as we grew up. We never wanted for anything, and we always felt loved. My issues were exactly that, my issues. They had nothing to do with my family.
“No.” I sniffed. “I just get so scared sometimes, Nan.”
“Of what, sweetheart?” She reached out and took both my hands in hers.
“That I am like her. That she’s inside me somewhere, just waiting to get out.”
“No, Sarah, that won’t happen. You and Kate are like chalk and cheese. You may look exactly like her, but personality wise, you’re polar opposites. You can’t go through life thinking that way, it’s not healthy.”
I took a deep breath in, but my bottom lip still trembled when I spoke.
“Liam’s been talking about marriage and starting a family when the house is finished and we’ve settled in, but I’m scared. What if I’m a terrible mother?”
She shook her head gently and then reached out and swiped the tears from my face.
“I’ll tell you something that you probably won’t believe, but I’m going to say it anyway. Your mum was actually a really good mother at one time. She was a natural when it came to caring for Luke, but the depression got a hold of her, and we, we let her down.”
Nan’s voice began to waiver.
“We didn’t spot it, not at first. When she split up with Vinnie, we thought it was for the best, and she did seem to be doing okay for a while, but then he’d reappear and then disappear, and every time he did, he seemed to take a little piece of her with him.”
I knew exactly how that felt. I’d experienced it when Liam and I had our time apart, and we’d only been together a month. Imagine sharing your life with someone for years, having a child, and then separating, repeatedly.
“We tried to keep him away from her. Grandad did some digging and found out he was married and had two young kids, he even threatened to tell his wife if Vinnie didn’t stay away, but it didn’t work. She used to beg him to stay, but of course he had to leave, he had a wife and family to get back to, not that she knew that.”
I stopped walking.
“Wait. What? She didn’t know he was married?”
“She had no idea, not until he disappeared after she told him she was carrying you.”
“I had . . . I didn’t know. I always assumed she knew he had a wife and just didn’t care.”
“No, we’d only just found out and were going to tell her, then she told him she was pregnant, thinking that would be enough to make him settle down. It ended up doing the opposite, and he vanished. Grandad went looking for him at the house he lived in with his wife, but she hadn’t seen him either. He’d up and left both of them. Four kids, all left without a dad.”
“Shit. What a depressing story.”
“Depressing doesn’t cover it, not once you factor in the way depression took hold of her. She suffered from it all of the way through her pregnancy with you, but she attended all of her doctor’s appointments, checked in with the midwife regularly, and, despite us trying to get her to come home and live with us, she stayed at her own place.”
“I wonder why when she so obviously needed the help.”
“Him. She held out hope till the day she was killed that he’d come back, and every day that he didn’t, she died a bit more.”
“Luke told me how bad things got. How come nobody stepped in? Why did nobody take us away from her?”
She let out a long breath.
“I’m not accusing you of anything, Nan. I just don’t understand how she could be so neglectful and get away with it.”
“Don’t you dare repeat this, but Luke covered for her. He never once told us how bad things were, and if we came to visit, he’d always make up some story about her having a bad night with you. He was so frightened that they’d split the two of you up that he lied.”
My poor brother. I really did owe him so much. We reached the pub and both stood outside.
“Thanks for telling me all this.”
“Wish I didn’t have to, darling, wish I could tell you an entirely different story. Just know this—you’re nothing like her. You are a beautiful, bright young woman who’s bagged herself a hot Australian. Who, if he hasn’t already, is gonna pop the question any day.” She winked at me. Like I said, not much got past Nan.
“Now, let’s go and get shit faced, I bloody need it after that. Longest walk to the pub ever that was.”
As hard as all of that was to hear. It had made me feel a whole lot better about myself. Luke and I were nothing like our parents. I’d make Liam happy. I’d give him the babies that he wanted, we’d fill that bloody house with them. I’d give him so many that we’d have to buy a bigger house.
***
Yeah, when I said that, I didn’t exactly expect it all to happen quite the way it did.
The next morning, I woke to an empty bed, but when I rolled over, Liam was kneeling next to me with his chin resting on his arms at the edge of the mattress.
He reached down beside him and presented me with a square box. I instantly recognised the duck egg blue, and my belly pulled all sorts of little manoeuvres. I worried for a moment that the gases might escape, which would’ve been all kinds of embarrassing.
“Is that a Tiffany box?”
“That’s what it says on the lid.”
“What’s in it?”
Without answering me, he opened the blue box to reveal a black velvet one inside.
“Where did it come from?” I asked. My eyes not leaving his face.
“Interestingly enough, a shop called Tiffany, would you believe?”
“You’re hilarious.”
“It’s a gift.”
He flipped the lid open. I made a sound that I couldn’t even begin to imagine how to spell. It was a laugh/sigh/whimper/sob sort of noise, my eyes leaked instantly.
“It’s the Edwardian Cushion Cut,” I choked out.
His eyes widened in surprise.
“It is.”
“It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. How did you know?”
“Know what?”
“This ring, that I love this ring. I saw a picture of it in a magazine years ago, and it has
just always been ‘the ring’ . . . But I never thought, I mean I never dreamed . . .” I sounded presumptuous. “Who’s it for?”
“Winston. It was love at first sight. It was the slobber that won me over, imagining those chops around my . . . well you get my drift.”
He wrinkled his nose and shrugged his shoulders. He was topless so I reached out and pulled at the hair at the base of his throat. He laughed and pushed my hand away.
“Well congratulations. I hope you’ll be very happy together, although I gotta say, I thought you would’ve tried to make it work with a human this time.”
He drew his eyebrows into a frown and looked totally confused.
“This time a dog, last time a total bitch, perhaps you’d be better off sticking to your own kind.”
“Oh you’re funny.”
“It’s a gift,” I told him with a shrug and a smile.
“Well, how about if we give it a go then? How about you wear this ring as a sign of our commitment to each other, and I’ll break things off with Winston and swear off dogs and bitches for the rest of my life?”
“How about Ms Bitches?”
“Only if they’re wearing purple knickers.”
“Deal.”
I spat in the palm of my hand and held it out to him. He did the same. We shook on it, and then I pulled him up onto the bed, where he slid the most perfect engagement ring on my finger and his body into mine.
And that was the start of what we thought would be our happily ever after.
“I’m not sure I can do this. It’s too soon. D’you think it’s too soon? I think it’s too soon.”
I had no time to react as a pillow smacked me square in the face.
“Sarah?”
“Wha?” I mumbled out from where I was lying on the bed, the pillow still covering my face.
“Hush your noise before I gag you with the belt from your robe or smother you with that pillow.”
“Hhh unt urk,” I attempted to say from beneath my feathered cocoon. No sooner were the words out then it was snatched away, the morning sunshine making me blink after my few seconds of darkness.
Sasha stared down at me, her perfectly sculpted eyebrows drawn down into a frown above her dark eyes.
“What?”