by Jenika Snow
Evernight Publishing ®
www.evernightpublishing.com
Copyright© 2015 Jenika Snow
ISBN: 978-1-77233-653-5
Cover Artist: Sour Cherry Designs
Editor: Karyn White
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
WARNING: The unauthorized reproduction or distribution of this copyrighted work is illegal. No part of this book may be used or reproduced electronically or in print without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in reviews.
This is a work of fiction. All names, characters, and places are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
DEDICATION
What is considered wrong to one person is perfect for another.
THEIRS
Jenika Snow
Copyright © 2015
Chapter One
Broken Heart
He was gone. Lilly could only sit on the edge of her bed and hold the phone as the conversation she’d just had played over and over again in her head.
“I’m sorry, Lilly. Christian is gone.”
She squeezed her eyes shut, the tears not coming, but the pain so monumental she couldn’t even breathe.
Christian’s dead.
He was only thirty, the same age as she was, the same as Riley and Tallin.
God, that’s so young. It’s so tragic and devastating.
The sound of the clock ticking on her wall was not enough background noise to dull the ringing in her ears. She stood, the room spinning, everything going in and out of focus, and sweat beading her brow. Sorrow for the loss of one of her best friends assaulted her, claimed every part of her, and was sucking the very life from her. Guilt that she hadn’t seen him as much as she should since she left wracked her, made her feel like a worthless piece of shit person.
You didn’t say goodbye. You should have talked to him more, made an effort to go back home and see him.
She squeezed her eyes again, sucking in air, feeling dizzy, like she was in a prison and there was never any chance of her escaping.
She didn’t get to say goodbye.
I didn’t get to tell him that I loved him, that he was such a good friend.
She would finally be going home again after being away for so many years. Even if she’d spoken to the guys during that time, it wouldn’t be a happy reunion. No, she was going back to watch Christian being buried.
God, can I even get through this? Can I go back and see Riley and Tallin and not have a breakdown?
Thinking about the other two men that had been part of their quartet made her heart hurt, made every part of her tighten. How could she face them with such tragedy hanging over them? They’d stayed in Burkett, Colorado this whole time, and she knew they’d spent time with Christian. This had to be earth-shattering to them.
Sitting back on the bed, she breathed out and ran her hand over her eyes.
She might not know if she could do this, but she didn’t have a choice.
****
Back Home
Lilly pulled her car into the small, rundown gas station that was about thirty minutes outside of Burkett—the town she’d grown up in.
She stopped in front of one of the two pumps, both brown and rusted around the edges, making it clear they’d been here a while. A bell chimed twice and signaled the attendant to come out to pump the patron’s gas. It was old school, but then again a lot of things in Burkett were that way
A grease splattered young man jogged toward her car, mindful of the dusting of snow and ice covering the ground. Pellets of salt had been thrown down, but it was still snowing, and she knew it would be for the next few months. Winter had finally come to Burkett, and it wouldn’t be leaving anytime soon.
She rolled the driver’s side window down when he stopped in front of it, a big grin pasted on his dirty face.
“What can I do for you, ma’am?”
“Can you please fill the tank up?” She leaned back in her seat as he pumped the gas, her mind blank and void of any and all emotion. She would not cry in the parking lot of a gas station. It was during the quiet times that she remembered the good times she had had with her boys.
They had been called the Quartet ever since they were toddlers. Christian Reive had always been the rambunctious one with a head full of auburn hair and eyes so blue they rivaled the Caribbean. No one had been surprised when he opened his own construction company. He built incredible cabins and buildings in Burkett and the surrounding areas. Christian’s talent had built the place where Riley now resided.
Tallin Draven had always been the strong and silent type, the ladies’ man as the other boys had dubbed him. He’d joined the military after college and moved up the ranks to become Special Ops. But he also had that bad boy streak going on, with the leather jacket, the Harley, and even tattoos on his muscular body.
But last she heard he was no longer on active duty, and living in Burkett again.
Riley McKnight was the brains of the group, the sweet, caring friend that had always been her shoulder to cry on, always been there to talk to when she had something on her mind. His gentleness and intelligence had taken him in the right direction and profession. That intelligence made him the best doctor in their area, in Colorado, if anyone asked her. Then there had been her, the only girl in Burkett who had dared to put up with the three of them.
Put up with the three of them.
Lilly couldn’t help but smile at that. Yeah, they’d put up with her tagging along on their “boy” excursions. But they’d never complained, and in fact always said they wouldn’t be a team without her.
She had just spoken to Christian a week ago, had just heard the deep baritone of his voice as he talked about getting the four of them together again after all these years. She had meant to come down, but with working at the firm, she hadn’t found much time. It was too late, though. Christian was already gone, and she would never see him again.
She felt a tear slip down her cheek and quickly wiped it away. She’d taken a leave of absence, the loss of her friend hitting her so hard she couldn’t even think straight, let alone go back to work. She’d enough time and money saved up that she didn’t even have to worry about working for a while.
“Anything else, ma’am?”
She turned her head toward the young man. The scent of grease, oil, and gas permeated the air, and instantly her stomach recoiled. She shook her head, handed him the money and a generous tip, and drove off.
Twenty minutes later, she was pulling into Burkett, the sights bringing back memories and putting a smile on her face. Nothing had changed in the years she’d been away, and she was thankful for the feeling of being home. The snowcapped mountains towering in the horizon reminded her of the trips the four of them used to take, the weekend camping getaways where they’d huddled by the fire, drank beer and whiskey, and laughed at the stupid shit they’d done.
She turned off her car and sat in the parking lot of the local grocery store. It wasn’t anything big, minuscule compared to what she was used to, living in Denver, but it reminding her of happier times. She stared at the mountains, remembering when the four of them had gone skiing for the first time as a group. It had taken all of her coaxing to talk her parents into letting her go with Tallin, Christian, and Riley. Christian had taught her how to ski when she was seventeen. Tallin and Riley had teased her mercilessly over the fact that she was so old and lived so close to the mountains and had never learned.
Big mountains and the fear of avalanches—as silly as that was to believe—cemented her belief that it was better to stay in town. They had talked her into it, though. Her three big, strong boys had told her they would protect her.
And they had. They always
had.
She grabbed her purse and got out of the car. She needed to pick up a few things since she had no idea how long she intended to stay in town. Her parents had moved to a warmer climate a few years back, but fortunately they hadn’t sold their cabin. That was where she planned on staying for her indefinite time in Burkett.
The grocery store’s double doors slid open, and she stepped inside. Half the town was shopping since the weather had predicted a massive snowstorm to hit later this week. She saw several faces she recognized and a lot that were new. It was the busy time in Burkett, the skiing excellent this time of year and bringing hordes of tourists to the area.
“Well, if that isn’t Lilly Hawthorn.”
She turned around and smiled widely. David Masterson was several years older than she was and had acted more like a big brother than a neighborhood friend. His dark hair was prematurely graying, and wrinkles had started forming at the corners of his baby blue eyes.
“Davie Masterson, how’ve you been?”
They embraced, mindful of standing in the center of the produce section as people shopped.
“Good, and you? Haven’t seen you in what? Three years?”
She adjusted the little red basket on her arm. “Yeah, long time. How are Dani and the kids?”
“They’re doing real good. Dani is pregnant again.”
“What is that? Number four?”
His cheeks became red, and he broke into a full grin. “Yup, fourth time’s the charm. Three little girls and now we’re finally getting that boy.”
“Congratulations. That’s wonderful, Davie.”
“You know you’re the only one who still calls me that.”
“I guess old habits die hard.” She closed her eyes and instantly regretted her words. She opened them and stared back into his face.
He appeared so serious all of a sudden and ushered her to the side. “So, I assume you’re here for Christian’s funeral? How are you handling everything? Are you doing okay? I know you were close.”
She stared idly at the rows of lettuce. The automatic sprinklers came on, sending a mist into the air. “I could be better.” He wrapped her in another hug, and she sighed, knowing now was not the time to cry.
“Have you seen Tallin and Riley yet?”
“No. I’m headed over there later tonight, after I get settled in.” She pulled away from him and looked into his eyes.
“Have you been keeping contact with them these last three years?” he asked.
“Here and there, but we’ve all been busy.” She swallowed past her emotions. “I just talked to Christian a week ago.”
Empathy covered his face. “I am so sorry.”
She shrugged and steeled her emotions. “That’s life, I guess. Have you seen them? Are they doing okay?”
He ran his hand over his hair and glanced around uneasily. “I haven’t seen them since … well, since the accident. No one has actually. They have been keeping to themselves.”
Tallin and Riley had cabins in the mountains, no more than a mile apart, and she suddenly became so stricken, knowing their emotions must be weighing on them heavily. Before she had moved to Denver, the four of them had always spent time at Riley’s house. She had so many wonderful memories in that house.
“Well, listen, I have to finish getting supplies for the storm, but we should get together later on, after…”
She knew where they would see each other, Christian’s funeral. She nodded almost absently, and they hugged again. She watched him walk away, sighing as she continued her shopping and trying to keep her mind on more pleasant things—things that wouldn’t make her break down in the middle of the grocery store.
Chapter Two
The Hardest Part Is Coming
After Lilly had gotten a trunk load of supplies, she headed over to Riley’s house. She’d gotten the balls to call him when she’d gotten to her parents’ cabin, and he’d invited her over for dinner. Tallin would be there, and even though she’d known these men her entire life, seeing them again after three years made this whole situation feel so strange.
The truth was she didn’t know what to say, and even though she’d have to figure that out pretty damn fast given that she would be seeing them shortly, everything in her seemed like it was at a standstill.
Even though the weather forecast hadn’t called for snow for a couple more days, there was a light flurry blowing in the air, covering the ground, and making the visibility sketchy ten feet in front of her. The higher she drove into the mountains, the more ominous the sky appeared, and the more her nerves rose with the idea that she’d be seeing her guys again. She just wished they were in different circumstances.
Finally seeing Riley’s massive cabin up ahead, she breathed a content, yet apprehensive sigh. It had been so long since she’d been up here, since she’d seen him. But seeing the cabin brought back so many wonderful feelings that she couldn’t help but smile at the memories that played through her mind.
She pulled into the driveway and parked next to Tallin’s truck, her heart beating hard and fast and her palms sweating. He had an emblem and insignia of the Marines on the back of his truck, and as she tightened and loosened her hands on the steering wheel, she thought about what she would say to them.
Knowing the boys planned on making dinner and wanting to contribute something, she grabbed the bottle of red wine she’d picked up at the store. As she made her way toward the door, the wind picked up and blew snow in her direction. She picked up her pace and got to the front door, breathing heavily not because she’d rushed or because of the weather, but because she was so damn nervous.
Once she reached the porch, it shielded her slightly from the weather onslaught. Although she could have just walked right in, knowing they wouldn’t have cared, she hadn’t seen them for three years, and the thought of just bursting into Riley’s home seemed obtrusive.
She took hold of the icy brass knocker in the center of the rustic wood door and brought it down. It took a few seconds, but then the door was opened, and there, standing in the entryway, was Tallin. Standing at six and a half feet tall, his big, imposing frame had her craning her head back to look him in the face. His dark hair was short, his blue eyes a contrast to his golden skin and dark colored hair. His expression was stony at first, but it was as if seeing her had changed that to one of happiness.
“Lilly,” he said her name in that steely, deep voice, one that had a shiver racing up her spine. He broke into a smile, all straight and white teeth, his tattoos peeking out from under the collar of his shirt.
He reached out and pulled her inside, and the heat and scent of him slammed into her. When the door shut she was left standing there, so close to him, knowing that she should feel guilty for being happy to see him given the circumstances, but not able to help how good it felt to see him.
“Damn, it’s so good to see you, especially because of…” He didn’t finish, but she knew what he was going to say, knew he was going to mention Christian.
He pulled her again him and wrapped his massive arms around her. She rested her head on the center of his chest, closed her eyes, and just absorbed how good it felt to be held by him.
“God, I missed you, Lilly.”
His voice was deep and rough, a husky timbre as she heard him inhale against her hair. She could have cried right then and there from the sound of his voice alone, but a spark of willpower gave her the strength she needed to carry on.
“I missed you, too.”
They stayed in that embrace for a suspended moment. They broke away, and Tallin moved back, just staring at her.
“What?” She laughed at the expression that crossed his face. His dark hair was disheveled, and he regarded her solemnly with his forest green eyes.
“Nothing. I just really missed you.”
She smiled, not about to let herself get wrapped up in her emotions. She was already feeling stretched and worn down with the feelings bombarding her over Christian’s death. Letting herself
cry now would only mean she wouldn’t be able to stop.
“I missed you, too, Tallin.” She glanced around the grand foyer. “Something smells delicious. Riley’s cooking, I take it?”
“Yeah, he wanted to make tonight nice for the reunion, even if it’s not a happy get-together.”
Tallin sounded so torn, something she rarely saw from him. He’d always been the strong, alpha friend, the bad boy that didn’t let his emotions be known. Right now he wasn’t trying to hide how much he was hurting.
She took her coat off, hung it up, and followed Tallin into the kitchen. Once in the big, open room, Tallin leaned against the wall, crossing his big arms over his chest while watching her. She drew her gaze to Riley, whose back was to her as he worked at the stove. It was clear he was unaware they were standing there. He turned around, his blond hair cut close to his scalp. His thin glasses made him seem scholarly and intellectual, both of which were true.
She couldn’t stop her smile at seeing him again after so long.
He grabbed some ingredients off the counter, his gaze momentarily flickering to her and then back down. His head snapped up a second later, the emotion on his face clear as he stared at her.
“Lilly,” he said her name softly, his voice deep.
She smiled and looked between the two men she loved so much, her chest seizing when memory after memory tore through her. It was just like old times, except Christian wasn’t sitting at the table with a beer in his hand telling his corny jokes. That was all it took for her emotions to strangle her—finally seeing their faces, being back in Burkett, and not caring if they saw her breakdown.
She couldn’t hold back any longer, not as she glanced between them and then at the empty table, wishing Christian was there, smiling at her. She hunched over, the pain coursing through her, stealing everything from her. The tears spilled over as she finally let the grief she felt for Christian wash through her.