by F. L. Fowler
“Fifteen.”
I wasn’t expecting that. Fifteen? Holy shit. He’s really been around. He’s so secretive. I feel anger bubbling up inside me.
I glare at him and he glares back. Despite the anger, I feel it, the attraction—irresistible, drawing us together like kitchen magnets.
My breast arches involuntarily toward his touch. Suddenly he seizes me and lays me out on the counter, claiming me hungrily. His fingers pull me taut, the palms of his hands grinding my soft white meat into the hard granite, trapping me. I feel him. His stomach growls, and my mind spins as I acknowledge his craving for me.
“Why must you always challenge me?” he murmurs breathlessly.
“Because I can.” My pulse throbs painfully.
He grabs a fistful of kosher salt.
“I’m going to season you now.”
“Yes.” My voice is low and heated.
He reaches for a rolling pin, then hesitates, looking at me.
“Yes, please, Chef,” I moan.
The first blow of the rolling pin jolts me but leaves behind a delicious warm feeling.
“I. Will. Make. You. Mine,” he says between blows.
Adrenaline is pounding thunderously through me—and so is he.
Fighting is rough, but making up could be the end of me.
sautéed chicken breasts with garlic, olives, and wine
SERVES 4 TO 6
4 boneless, skinless chicken breast halves (2 pounds), patted dry with paper towels
1½ teaspoons coarse kosher salt
½ teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
3 tablespoons all-purpose flour
2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
3 garlic cloves, minced
Large pinch of crushed red pepper flakes
¼ cup dry white wine
¼ cup low-sodium chicken broth
1 tablespoon freshly squeezed lemon juice
2 tablespoons chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley
2 tablespoons cold unsalted butter, cut into small pieces
2 tablespoons sliced, pitted kalamata olives
Crusty bread, for serving
1 Using the side of a rolling pin, gently slap the breasts into submission, until they are ¼ inch thick. Season with salt and pepper, then sprinkle them on both sides with the flour, knocking off any excess.
2 Heat the oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Add the chicken in batches and cook until golden at the edges, 3 to 4 minutes on each side. Transfer the chicken as it cooks to a plate and tent with foil.
3 In the same pan, sauté the garlic and red pepper flakes for about 30 seconds or until fragrant. Add the wine, broth, and lemon juice to the pan, and let simmer, scraping up any browned bits, until the sauce thickens down to a glaze. Add the parsley, butter, and olives, stirring constantly. Taste and add more salt if it needs it. Return the chicken to the pan and cook until heated through, about 2 minutes. Serve hot with crusty bread.
Holy Hell Wings
Blades is standing in front of me dressed in nothing but a white apron and a chef’s toque. He has a sticky glob of honey dripping from his long fingers. I lean out to see it better, but invisible chicken wire prevents me. My eyes cross. He moves a little closer and I can smell the glob. There’s something strange and powerful about it.
“Now cluck,” he commands, his voice soft. My beak opens to obey, but my wattle quivers uncontrollably.
“Enough,” he snaps.
I long to taste the honey, to peck at it. I can smell it’s not just honey, it has a hot, citrus aroma. Sharp and sweet at the same time. I crane a little farther and the chicken wire is gone, I’m free. I open my wings and he covers them with the sticky hot mess. The spice penetrates me and I feel the familiar pull deep in my belly.
“You’re marinating just for me,” he says darkly, “all for me.”
Yes, I moan. Let me feed you, only you. Just then I notice that he’s holding something—a radish, I think. The radish starts to pulse like a heart. The image starts to fade, and I start to panic.
“Wake up, baby,” he says, opening the Sub-Zero with a triumphant flourish as I come back to reality. “Time for the broiler.”
Holy hell.
jalapeño chicken wings with avocado
SERVES 6 TO 8
3 pounds chicken wings, patted dry with paper towels
¼ cup olive oil
2 tablespoons hot sauce, plus more for serving
2 tablespoons honey
2 teaspoons tomato paste
4 garlic cloves, chopped
2 jalapeño peppers, roughly chopped (leave in the seeds to make these holy hell hot)
1 lime, zested and juiced
1 teaspoon coarse kosher salt, plus more to taste
2 avocados, peeled, pitted, and sliced
1 The night before feasting, lay the chicken wings in a bowl. Combine the oil, hot sauce, honey, tomato paste, garlic, jalapeño, zest and lime juice, and salt in a blender and puree until smooth. Pour over the chicken wings and toss to coat. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate overnight.
2 The next day, preheat the broiler. Lay the chicken wings on a foil-lined baking sheet. Season with additional salt. Broil until the chicken wings are golden and glistening, 3 to 5 minutes per side. Serve with luscious sliced avocado and more hot sauce.
LEARNING THE ROPES
For a more deluxe dish, substitute your favorite guacamole spiked with hot sauce for the sliced avocado, then dunk the wings in the guacamole before devouring. Holy hell, indeed!
glazed chicken skewers with soy sauce and ginger
Skewered Chicken
I’m in the Sub-Zero, marinating in soy and sake, when someone calls to me. It’s the aloof radish from the crisper that I noticed on my first day.
“Can I help you?” I ask. What could a radish want from me?
“No. I just wanted to look at you.” Her tone is unnervingly soft. Like me, she’s pale, pink, and skinny. But I can see she’s wilty and faded now.
“What do you have that I don’t?” she asks sadly. And she fades away again into the crowded crisper.
My subconscious rises up before me like a green-eyed ghost. Fifteen, she shrieks. Fifteen previous Ingredients.
I recall Blades’s past. It occurs to me that his other Ingredients have known this marinade, those hands, that burning gaze. I am transfixed by the radish’s piercing question: What do I have that she hasn’t?
glazed chicken skewers with soy sauce and ginger
SERVES 2 TO 4
1 pound boneless chicken thigh meat
¾ cup dark soy sauce or tamari
⅓ cup mirin or sweet (cream) sherry
2½ tablespoons sake or dry sherry
1½ tablespoons brown sugar
2 fat garlic cloves, peeled and smashed
¾ teaspoon grated peeled fresh gingerroot
Scallions, white and green parts thinly sliced, for garnish
1 Cut the thighs into 1-inch pieces and place in a shallow dish. Make it beg for the sauce.
2 In a small saucepan, combine the soy sauce, mirin, sake or sherry, sugar, garlic, and ginger. Bring to a simmer and cook for about 7 minutes, until thickened and syrupy. Save ¼ cup of the sauce for dipping and drizzling. When you think they deserve it, pour the remaining sauce over the thighs, cover, and chill for at least 1 hour and up to 4 hours.
3 If using wooden or bamboo skewers, soak them in water for 1 hour. Preheat a grill or broiler. Thread the chicken pieces onto skewers and grill or broil, turning halfway, for about 6 minutes. Serve drizzled with the reserved sauce and showered with scallions.
chicken with horseradish and herbs
Jealous Chicken
He has me spread out in parts on a towel while he whips up a marinade. He likes me arranged like this; it means he can spice me up to his kinky tastes. I wonder how his former flames responded to his overbearing ways, and I feel an unwelcome pang.
“What happened with the fifteen past Ingredi
ents?” I ask hesitantly.
He cocks his head to one side and back, surprised. He turns off the blender and gives a resigned shrug.
“Various things. I suppose it boils down to …” He pauses, searching for precisely the right word. “Unsuitability.”
He helps me into the bowl he’s filled with the aromatic green liquid from the blender and massages it into my skin. It makes my flesh come alive, but I can’t take my mind off the fifteen. The marinade gives me plenty of time to think.
When he pulls me out I realize I’ve turned bright green.
“Who was the last one?” I blurt out.
He draws a sharp breath and stills. “Beware, Miss Hen, of jealousy,” he intones. “It is the green-eyed monster which doth mock the meat it feeds on.”
“Did you quote Shakespeare to her, too?” My voice is shrill.
He runs an anxious hand through his hair.
“No, she was more the earthy type,” he sighs. “She did as she was told, and I soon felt we had exhausted the possibilities. Now, are you going to let this go?”
“If you can have nice, pliable Ingredients, why do you need me?”
“I need an Ingredient that forces me to compromise. A cook who isn’t compromising is not working hard enough.” He grabs the package of foil and tears a sheet off. “You are an exquisitely beautiful bird, Miss Hen. You’re smart, savory, and succulent. You’ve made me change my whole approach to building dishes. Now, do you want to ask more questions, or do you want me to cook you?” His stomach growls, and he smiles that dazzling, predatory smile.
“Cook me, please,” I say quietly.
His marinade has worked its magic. By the time he pulls me from the oven I am glowing and mollified, and my green tint has faded—for now—in the golden afterglow of a good, hard cooking.
chicken with horseradish and herbs
SERVES 4
3 garlic cloves, roughly chopped
3 scallions, white and green parts
⅓ bunch of fresh chives
⅓ bunch of fresh flat-leaf parsley
1 lemon, zested and juiced
1½ tablespoons prepared horseradish
1½ teaspoons coarse kosher salt
⅓ cup extra-virgin olive oil, plus more for drizzling
1 (3½- to 4-pound) chicken, cut into 8 pieces, patted dry with paper towels
1 In a food processor or blender, combine the garlic, scallions, chives, parsley, lemon zest and juice, horseradish, and 1 teaspoon salt. Blend for 10 seconds, then add the olive oil and blend until smooth.
2 Nestle the chicken in a bowl and rub gently with the marinade. Cover with plastic wrap and chill overnight.
3 Preheat oven to 425°F. Oil a roasting pan and add the chicken parts. Drizzle with oil, cover the pan with foil, and bake for 20 minutes. Uncover and continue to bake until the chicken is cooked through, about 20 minutes longer. Run the pan under the broiler until the skin crisps, 3 to 5 minutes. That’s when to enjoy.
LEARNING THE ROPES
Ever consider a three-way with your ingredients? Serve Jealous Chicken with the Rival Radish Salad. Or for something less risqué, there’s always Taters, Baby.
white wine–steamed chicken breasts with sesame oil and scallions
Steamy White Meat
Steamy enough?” he asks in a low voice.
I’m unable to answer. Tendrils of vapor rise from my naked, wet breasts. He has cooked me gently but quickly. Kinky as it might be, I find myself wanting more and more from this kitchen Adonis.
He holds a tiny silver spoon above me, letting fall, drop by tantalizing drop, a dark, mysterious dipping sauce. It’s the slowest, most sensuous thing imaginable. In her crushed velvet coop my inner goddess fans herself with both wings.
“I’m going to take a very, very long time to season you, baby. I promise you, the sesame sauce is much better this time.”
This time? I’m confused. He’s never used sesame sauce on me before.
“Better than what?” I manage to say as I catch my breath.
He flushes. “Better than the last time I tested it.” It’s obvious he’s leaving something out. Why would he have tested this sauce without me? Abruptly the specter of the wilty radish fills my mind. I feel the anger rising in my breast. He made it for her.
“You’ve used this same sauce before. With who?” I’m trying not to yell. My inner goddess takes a cold shower and mopes back to her perch to sleep.
“You want an honest answer?”
“Was it her? Was it the radish?”
He inhales sharply, then drops his shoulders with a sigh. “We had experimented with a lot of different permutations. Radish granita, radish tartare, gin radish-tini. Finally, during a radish omakase, I tried her in dipping sauce. I added too much wasabi. It’s something I regret very much.”
“And you’re trying the same thing on me?” I ask coldly.
“No, Chicken. With her it was a yuzu, not rice vinegar, and there was the wasabi. What I’ve prepared for you is quite different.” But he can see he’s digging himself deeper. He puts down the tiny spoon.
If I wasn’t steamed enough before, I sure as hell am now.
white wine–steamed chicken breasts with sesame oil and scallions
SERVES 4
¼ teaspoon coarse kosher salt
4 boneless, skinless, chicken breasts (about 2½ pounds)
2 cups white wine
1 teaspoon black peppercorns
1-inch-thick coin of peeled gingerroot plus 2 teaspoons grated peeled gingerroot
2 garlic cloves, 1 minced, 1 smashed and peeled
¼ cup soy sauce
2 scallions, white and green parts, thinly sliced, plus more for garnish
1½ teaspoons rice vinegar or white wine vinegar, or to taste
3 tablespoons peanut, safflower, or canola oil
1 teaspoon Asian (toasted) sesame oil
Chile oil or chile sauce (optional)
1 Sprinkle the salt all over the chicken breasts.
2 In a large soup pot set with a steamer basket, bring the wine, peppercorns, gingerroot coin, and smashed and peeled garlic to a simmer. Gently lay the chicken breasts in the steamer basket in one layer, cover the pot tightly, and steam until they are just cooked through, 12 to 20 minutes.
3 Meanwhile, in a small bowl, stir together the grated ginger, minced garlic, soy sauce, scallions, and vinegar, then stir in the peanut oil, sesame oil, and a few drops of chile oil, if using. Slice the breasts thin, then drizzle with sauce and garnish with scallions to serve.
LEARNING THE ROPES
This makes a light and flavorsome meal, but to make it more satisfying, serve the breasts with rice noodles tossed with a little of the sauce and more sliced scallions. Or plain white rice is nice, too.
maple-glazed wings with bacon
Bacon-Bound Wings
It’s high time I trussed you again, Miss Hen.” He flips on the radio and pulls out the outsize spool of twine.
“Maybe I should play hard to get for once,” I say coyly.
His eyes widen with surprise and a glint of arousal. He looks me up and down on my cutting board.
“I can’t really see how you’re going to pull that off.”
“It could take more than trussing twine to hold me down tonight.”
Katy Perry is belting out “Peacock” from the radio. Not Blades’s taste in music at all, which makes it all the sweeter to hear. “Break me off, if you bad, show me who’s the boss,” Katy chides.
“You are, as ever, challenging, Miss Hen.” He gets a foxy look in his eye that sends a thrill of electricity through my insides. “There’s more than one way to tie a bird, you know.”
“Really, Mr. Blades?” Holy crap, what have I started?
From deep in the Sub-Zero he produces a rasher of bacon. He hasn’t even touched me, but the sight of the long, pink strips makes my tail tremble.
“Is bacon your answer to everything?” I ask, panting a little.
; “It does the trick,” he answers, holding a porky lasso a couple of millimeters beyond my reach. He grabs the box of foil and tears off a sheet. I can’t stand how arrogant and smug he is right now, but I also can’t stand not having that bacon on my skin.
I relent, with a strange, pleasurable sensation suffusing my body.
“Oh, twist my arm,” I moan.
maple-glazed wings with bacon
SERVES 4 TO 6
¼ cup maple syrup
¼ cup soy sauce
¼ cup chopped scallions, white and green parts
1½ tablespoons rice wine or apple cider vinegar
3 garlic cloves, minced
1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
15 chicken wings (about 3 pounds), patted very dry with paper towels
8 strips bacon
1 In a large bowl, combine the maple syrup, soy sauce, scallions, vinegar, garlic, and pepper and mix well. Add the chicken wings and toss them gently so they are bathed in the heady liquid. Cover the bowl with plastic wrap and let the chicken marinate in the refrigerator for at least 2 hours or overnight.
2 Preheat the oven to 450°F. Slice the bacon in half lengthwise to yield long thin ribbons, perfect for restraining your bird.
3 Remove the wings from the marinade and wipe off any clinging garlic or scallion pieces. Tightly tie up each chicken wing in a bacon ribbon and lay the chicken wings, wing tips up and expectant, on a large baking pan. Cover the pan loosely with foil and bake for 30 minutes. Uncover the dish and continue to bake until golden and crisp, another 10 to 15 minutes. Serve hot, using your hands to devour.
roasted chicken thighs with sweet-and-sour onions
Dripping Thighs
The way his apron hangs from his hips already has me all wobbly. But as he coats my thighs with sticky liquid I can hardly contain myself. Is it the wine, or is my aroma starting to drive him crazy, too?
He heats me up fast, and it won’t take much to finish me off now. His lips quirk up into a smile. My own juices are mixing with the coating and running all over the place. I get the strangest, sweetest, most hedonistic feeling up and down. It’s epicureanism run wild!