"Ye brought this division upon yourself the moment ye insisted on taking this woman as your own, MacGregor. Don't blame me for your ill judgment. Your stubborn love for this woman will tear our clan to pieces. And then what will ye do? Is she truly worth that? Is she worth the destruction of everything that we've worked so hard to build? Bodies in the streets, MacGregor! Bodies in the streets and the threat of war within the clan. Ye must do something to control this clan. Unless ye want to be known as the chief that let his clan fall to ruin while he buried his head in the sand and his cock in a—"
I jumped at the sound of Alastair's fist coming down hard on something.
"Finish that sentence, MacAlpin, and I'll be forced to remove your tongue from your throat," Alastair told him, his voice low and menacing.
"Yes, well." Mr. MacAlpin coughed, "I believe ye take my meaning."
"All too well," Alastair growled. "Now, MacAlpin, if ye dinna mind, I have many things to be seeing to. Ye know your way out."
"Mind my words, MacGregor, and do the right thing."
I had heard more than enough and closed the door as quietly as possible before hurrying away.
Every day that I stayed, I was driving a wedge into the middle of this clan. I loved Alastair with all my heart and I had believed that together we could overcome anything. But maybe we were simply fooling ourselves. Were we just being selfish by insisting on staying together? Could I honestly say that our happiness was more important than the stability of the entire clan? No, I couldn't. The honorable thing for me to do would be to leave, to simply make the choice for both of us and leave before this got any harder and the fighting got any worse. There was no other way.
***
I snuck a small bag of food upstairs from the kitchen and dumped it on the bed. I had to move quickly so as not to be discovered. It wasn't unusual for me to be seen carrying baskets around the castle when I was on my way into Fortingall, so no one would look too closely at my actions, but I did not want to push my luck, either. The faster I was packed and on the road away from the keep, the better for everyone.
I hurried to the wardrobe, pulled out my cloak and wrapped it around my shoulders. I didn't bother to pack an extra gown, as it would be a long ride back to the Gordon lands and I would need to travel lightly. I would have everything I needed when I was back on my father's land.
The chamber door opened behind me as I was fastening my cloak and I spun around to face a confused-looking Alastair.
His eyes roamed over me as he took in my traveling attire and spotted the saddlebag on the bed.
"Are ye going for a ride, love?" he asked.
"I... yes, I am," I stuttered. "I thought a bit of fresh air would do me some good today."
"Aye." He nodded slowly. His eyes narrowed as he examined my face and looked at the saddlebag again.
"Who's going with ye, then?" he asked.
"I... I thought to go by myself today. It's silly that I always have to inconvenience one of the men whenever I want to go riding."
"Ye know it's not safe for ye to be riding out there alone, Glenna, especially now. If ye insist on going for a ride right now, then I'll go with ye."
"But..."
The look he leveled at me just then silenced me in an instant and I simply nodded.
"Fetch your bag, then," he said quietly, then waited for me to walk ahead of him out the door.
The horses were saddled quickly and we were soon on the road, riding in silence away from the keep.
"Here," he said after a while. "Our lake isn't far from here. Why don't we stop there for a bit?"
"All right."
We directed our horses off the main road and into the trees. Before long we came to the edge of a deep blue body of water. Alastair had brought me to the lake for the first time when I had first arrived at the castle, leading me here in the middle of the night while in his wolf form. It was that night that everything had changed between us, though I hadn't known it then. My heart constricted at the memory and I had to fight back my tears.
After we'd dismounted we walked to the water's edge and looked out at the still depths. Alastair stood behind me on the bank but did not touch me. I was not stupid; I knew that something was wrong. He seemed distant from me and I worried that his fight with Mr. MacAlpin had taken its toll.
"Were ye even going to say goodbye?" he whispered.
The pain in his voice reached deep inside me and crushed my heart. I should have known that he would see straight through me. What had made me think that I could deceive him?
"I was going to write you a letter..." I said sadly.
"A letter," he repeated coolly. "I suppose that's better than nothing. At least ye were not going to disappear without a trace and leave me wondering. I should be grateful for that, aye?"
It sounded so insulting. A letter. After all that we had shared.
"I could never do that to you," I told him. I kept my back to him, still unable to turn around and face him.
"Oh, aye, of course," he scoffed. "But ye could sneak off and leave me like a thief in the night."
I closed my eyes and lowered my head. Every word was like another blow to my heart.
"I was trying to do what I thought was best," I said weakly.
"What ye thought was best?" he snarled.
I cried out as he grabbed me roughly by my arm and spun me around to face him. I flinched away from the look of pain in his beautiful green eyes. It killed me to know that I was the one who had put it there.
"How, Glenna?" he demanded. He took me by the shoulders and shook me until my teeth rattled. "How could ye think that that was what's best?"
"Stop, Alastair, stop!" I wrenched myself from his grip and stumbled away. I pressed a hand up against a tree to steady my balance as the tears began to flow. I wanted so badly to do the right thing, but seeing the pain that my leaving was causing him I was no longer certain what the right thing was.
"It's not fair," I yelled. Turning to him, I brushed roughly at my tears, determined to stay the course. "It's not fair what my being here is doing to everyone. If I go, it's over, it's done. I'm the problem, Alastair. Me. And if I go, things between you and your people will go back to the way they should be. My leaving will hurt for a while, I know, but you'll move on in time. Our hearts will heal."
"Ye think it will hurt for a while? Hurt for a while!" he roared. "You're tearing my heart out, Glenna, can't ye see that? And it'll not heal in time because there'll be nothing left of it! Did ye think ye could just go off and leave me with naught but a letter to soothe my wounds and think that I wouldn't hunt ye down and drag ye back to my side where ye belong? Do ye truly think that there is a world in which I would be willing to give ye up?"
He stormed toward me and pressed me back against the tree. His unleashed anger engulfed me and it felt as if the heat of it burned all the air out of the woods, I could barely breathe.
"I just want to do what's right, Alastair. We've been so selfish."
"I dinna care! Everything I have ever done, I have done for them. But not this time. This time I will keep what's mine."
He pulled me to him and kissed me, pouring all of his anger and frustration into our embrace. I struggled to find my footing. I felt as if I were drowning in his need.
His hands were everywhere, grabbing, squeezing and tugging at me, trying to take hold of as much of me as he could. He lifted the skirts of my gown to my waist, then, cupping me, he lifted me up and pressed me hard to the tree. My hair got caught on the rough bark and snagged painfully, but I did not care. I wrapped my legs around him for support and kissed him back just as madly. Any thoughts of leaving had been wiped completely from my mind.
He was right, of course. How could I have ever thought that I would be able to walk away from him?
"You'll not be leaving again, ye hear me?" he growled into my ear.
I nodded, panting, as I tried to catch my breath.
"Say it," he demanded.
"I'll not lea
ve again," I promised.
"Say it again."
"I swear I'll not leave you again."
He captured my mouth again but this time more gently, his early fury slowly abating as he set me back on the ground. I clung to him, not yet ready for us to be parted. I needed to keep touching him. I had been so close to losing him. So close to walking away. And it would have been the worst mistake I had ever made.
"Ye must stop scaring me like this, Glenna," he said gently as he stroked my cheek.
"I'm sorry," I told him with a smile. "I'll not do it again."
"Will ye come home with me now?"
"Aye," I nodded. "I'd like that very much."
As I climbed back up into the saddle and settled myself I looked over at him as he mounted his horse.
"How did you know?" I asked him.
"That ye were leaving? I didn't at first," he said. "I knew ye were at the door when MacAlpin was there, love. I knew ye had heard what he said and I wanted to come check on ye to make sure ye were all right."
"You knew I was there?"
"Aye. I know the smell of ye, Glenna. I'll always know when you're around. I'll always find ye, love, and I'll always protect ye. I promise ye that. Now, let's go home."
CHAPTER 8
Days passed and the hurt between Alastair and me healed. He understood why I had done what I did and quickly forgave me for the pain that I had caused him.
I was so wrapped up in my love for him and my joy at being back that it took me a while to notice that Camden had been strangely quiet. It wasn't until I was sitting with him at supper one evening that I truly noticed it. He replied to my questions with short one or two word answers, which was completely unlike his usual animated banter. The more he continued to look sullen and withdrawn, the more I was worried that something was very wrong.
I knocked on the door to Camden's chamber and entered before waiting for his reply. "Camden?" I asked hesitantly.
"Glenna, I'm glad that you're here," he said, coming over to greet me. "I have something that I wish to discuss with ye."
A pained expression had replaced the usual sparkle in his eye, and worry settled in the pit of my stomach.
"Is everything all right, Camden? You did not seem yourself earlier."
"I've had much on my mind the last few days, Glenna, and after a lot of thought I've finally come to a decision, though it does not come easily to me."
"Oh, Camden, what is it? You have me worried now. Whatever is the matter?"
He took my hand and drew me over to the window chair where he indicated for me to take a seat. My heart hammered as I sat down and he paced back and forth in front of me. I had never seen him so agitated before.
"Camden, please, you're beginning to scare me."
"I'm sorry, Glenna," he said, taking up my hand in his again as he squatted down in front of me. "I did not know how to tell ye and it's been eating away at my mind, but I have decided that it is time for me to leave here and travel home."
"Oh, Camden, so soon?" I asked sadly.
"Yes. I have long since recovered from my injuries and in truth I should have left days ago. But ye see, I could not bring myself to leave your side."
His hands squeezed mine tightly as he stared deeply into my eyes.
"Oh, Camden..."
"Please, Glenna. I love ye. I know it must seem impossible and much too soon but I canna deny how I feel."
"We are friends, Camden," I said carefully, "and with that of course comes a certain amount of affection."
He shook his head and pressed the palm of my hand flat against his chest, holding it tightly there with both of his hands. I could feel the intense hammering of his heart beneath his shirt.
"Do ye feel that, Glenna Gordon? The way my heart pounds? I need nothing more than to think of your sweet face before my heart starts hammering so. It is not mere affection I feel for ye, lass. I have never felt this way about anyone in my life. I knew ye were the one the first time I set eyes on ye."
"Oh, Camden, I can't... I don't know what to say." My mind was a blur as I tried to come up with some way to let him down gently. To explain to him that I did not feel the same way for him without breaking his heart.
"Say ye feel it as well, this connection between us," he pleaded. "Say ye love me as I love ye."
"Camden, I'm sorry," I whispered, "but I cannot."
Pain flashed in his eyes and his hands gripped mine so tightly that I winced. "Do not say that, Glenna. I know that it canna be true. I know ye love me too. Ye must," he insisted.
"Camden, I am so sorry, truly I am. I am not free to love you. You have been such a good friend to me, and I would not want to lose that friendship. I have not meant to deceive you in any way. But my heart belongs to another. I love the MacGregor. I love Alastair."
"He has ye bewitched, Glenna. Can ye not see that? How else could someone with a heart as sweet and generous as yours love such a man? He is a monster. Ye know just as well as I the legacy that man carries. And ye expect me to believe that ye would give yourself to such a creature of your own free will? That ye would go willingly to his bed?"
"Camden!" I gasped, shocked that he would mention such intimacies.
"Ye have been blinded, Glenna!" he hissed. "Ye may not be able to see it, but I can. I do. Come with me."
The pain in my hand was getting worse and I tried to tug it away, but he held me too tightly.
"Camden, please, that hurts," I sad, tugging again. My sympathy for him was rapidly turning to unease.
"Come with me, Glenna, I beg of ye. I will take ye away from this place. All that is before you is darkness and pain. How will ye hold your sweet head up with pride anywhere in Scotland once ye are wed to that beast? He is feared everywhere. His unprecedented cruelty is known by all. Once ye are his, he will snuff the light from ye. All that ye are, all that shines bright and true, will be stripped from ye until ye are an empty husk. Come with me, and I will give ye everything you deserve. I will give ye a life of happiness and light. I will love ye, Glenna. I will love ye like no other man ever will."
"Camden, please," I begged. "You must stop this. You don't know what you're saying. I canna go with you. I will not go with you." I looked him in the eye and tried to keep my voice from shaking. "I do not love you."
"I don't believe ye," he insisted, and he released my hand to grab my shoulders. He pulled me to him and pressed his mouth hard against mine.
I froze for a moment in complete shock before it gave way to anger and I struggled against him, pulling my mouth away from his. "Camden, no! You are confused. This is not you," I snapped at him.
"I love ye, Glenna. I love ye," he said frantically, his eyes wild.
He pulled me back to him kissing me roughly. His tongue probed at my lips, seeking entrance as I tried to keep them closed to him. I turned my head away in disgust as my fury flared up inside me.
Wrenching myself away, I reared back and slapped him across the face, the sound of the impact cracking through the room.
Camden released me and took a step back, raising his hand to the bright red spot on his cheek. He looked at me with dead eyes as he lowered his hand. "So that's how it's going to be, then," he said, his voice flat and devoid of emotion. Every hint of the love-struck man had been erased.
"Yes," I said, my chest heaving, "it is. I had hoped that when it came time for you to leave that we would part as friends. But I see now that is impossible. I believe that it would be best if you left at once."
He sighed and shook his head. "This would have been so much easier if ye had just come with me out of love, Glenna. It would have been much more comfortable for ye, at least at first. Unfortunately that's impossible now. I'm sorry, lass, but what comes next is not going to be nearly as pleasant for ye."
A cold dread flowed over me at his words and I took a step backwards as he advanced on me. "I don't understand," I told him. My eyes flickered quickly to the doorway and back again.
"I was told that ye weren't v
ery bright, but I didn't think it would be so hard to turn ye away from the MacGregor. Ye seemed like a woman more accustomed to gentle words than being manhandled by a brute. But it looks like I was wrong. Maybe this would have worked if I had just been rough with ye from the beginning."
The blood froze in my veins as his arm lashed out and he grabbed hold of my wrist, tugging me toward him. His other hand snaked up into my hair and he wrenched my head back, the pain of it making my eyes water.
"So is that it, Glenna? Do ye like it rough, then?" he asked.
The next thing I knew, Camden was throwing me against the wall. I fell to my knees, and my head bounced off the edge of the table on the way down. I knelt there shaking as I saw his boots advance on me.
"Come now, Glenna, show a little spirit. I'd hate to believe that you're really as pathetic as I was told," he said with a laugh.
"Why are you doing this?" I yelled, shocked by his sudden venom.
"Why?" He laughed, and a shiver went down my spine.
I cried out as he grabbed me by the hair and dragged me across the floor to the center of the room, then he released me roughly, shoving my head down to the floor.
He dropped to his knees and rolled me over, pinning me beneath him. As I looked up into his face I did not recognize the man I saw there. Gone was my friend, and in his place a stranger looked out from his eyes. I tried to sit up and pull myself away, but it was no use.
Camden slapped me and my face exploded in pain. I swung out at him, but he grabbed my wrists while he straddled me, sitting on my legs to keep me from kicking out.
"There it is," he said with a laugh. "Looks like you've got a little fire in ye after all. Not such a gentle angel, are ye?"
"Get off of me!" I yelled, struggling to free myself from his grip.
He leaned over and kissed me, trying once more to shove his tongue into my mouth. I tried to turn my head away, but he grabbed my face and squeezed it tightly. This time I opened my mouth and allowed him entrance, but the moment I felt the invasion I bit down hard.
Taken By The Highland Wolf (The Clan MacGregor Book 2) Page 5