‘Steph! Oh my goodness, you look like a train wreck! What’s happened? What’s he done to you?’
‘Nothing. Well, not nothing. He hasn’t done anything to me. He just ... doesn’t want to be with me. And it’s his birthday!’
‘Slow down.’ I should have guessed—Jason. ‘Weren’t you going to look at cars with him?’ I placed a tissue into her hand.
‘We did.’ She blew her nose. ‘And I bought him one.’
‘And then he made you walk home? What a creep!’
‘No, I just got so angry.’ She grabbed another tissue and blew her nose again. ‘I yelled at him and left.’
‘Why? What were you so angry about?’
‘He’s going clubbing.’
‘And you can’t go? You’re way too young.’ Was she really thinking about going clubbing? Was that what this was all about?
‘I know. I just wanted to celebrate with him. But he chose his friends over me.’
‘Oh, Steph.’ I wrapped my arms around her. She wanted to be with her boyfriend on his birthday. I couldn’t blame her for falling apart.
*~*~*~*
My best friend soon became an ugly person to live with. Miserable, bitter and angry. But I did my best to hide it from everyone. Afternoon visits to the library to avoid her helped me cope with the changes.
By Easter we needed a break from each other. Stephanie’s visit to see her family came just at the right time.
It would have been great to catch up with Peter when he returned home for a couple of days, but he spent most of his time with his ex-girlfriend, Phoebe, and the rest of the time with his head in textbooks. I finally found a moment to chat to him as he made a sandwich before he left to see her again.
‘I thought you said back at Christmas time that it was over.’
‘Tabbie, it’s hard to explain.’ He picked up the sandwich and grabbed his keys.
‘You could try.’
‘She started ringing me. And well ... we’ve talked a lot over the past few weeks.’
‘Didn’t you say, “Long distance relationships don’t work”?’
‘Or maybe it’s just that … absence makes the heart grow fonder,’ he said over his shoulder and jogged to his car.
Maybe the whole situation would make more sense if Phoebe came around sometimes and I actually got to see them together.
*~*~*~*
‘It’s your birthday next week isn’t it?’ Shelly asked as the regular Friday night crowd began to dissipate.
‘Yeah, how did you know that?’
‘You mentioned it when we were at the beach.’ She laughed pointing to her forehead. ‘I parked it in my very trusty memory bank.’
‘Let’s do something,’ Priscilla said. ‘How about bowling?’
‘Do you like tenpin bowling?’ Shelly asked.
‘Sure. Sounds fun.’ I was relieved. With my best friend out of town for a couple of weeks, Susie’s parental restrictions and Janet’s idea of a party involving vomit, I welcomed Shelly and Priscilla’s plans. I’d still invite my school friends to join us.
‘Sorry,’ Janet said. ‘Mum and Dad have split up again, and I’m being shipped off to Grandma’s at Penrith for the rest of the holidays.’
I found it hard to keep up. Janet’s parents’ marriage had become a yoyo—on, off, apart, together, fighting, happy—gah!
‘I’m sorry,’ Suzie said when I rang her. ‘You know I’d love to come. But Mum said I had to get these assignments done, clean out the garage, and wash all the windows and curtains before I can go anywhere. But I’m sure even when I’ve done all of that, she’ll find more for me to do. I miss you.’
I recalled the mental note I’d made to make time to visit Suzie. She was even more isolated during holidays. ‘I’ll come over tomorrow and help you.’
The next day I swung by Suzie’s home and knocked on the front door.
‘Suzie said you might come by.’ Mrs Peter’s mouth straight-lined.
‘I thought I might be able to help her do some chores.’
‘She won’t be needing any help. I think it’s best you leave.’
She closed the door in my face. I didn’t understand why they were so intent on isolating their daughter. When Suzie didn’t return my calls, I made another mental note to ring her before the holidays were over. Hopefully she’d answer the phone and not her mother.
Shelly parked out the front and came to my door. ‘I hope you don’t mind, but I invited a couple of other friends.’
‘Like who?’ My shoulders arced a little.
Please don’t say Danny. It would ruin my birthday if I had to hang out with him or any of his lame friends. Really.
‘Jacinta and Lucy. I hope it’s okay. I guess I should have checked with you first.’
‘Oh, no, no. That’s fine. The more the merrier.’ I smiled in relief.
A girly day with bowling and drinking way too many bubbly sugar-filled drinks was just what I needed.
Janet sent me a text message, ‘You know I wish I was there. BTW Happy Birthday.’
When I arrived home Mum replayed a birthday message on the answering machine from Suzie for me.
That night Peter actually pulled himself away from Phoebe to eat with us.
‘Where’s Phoebe?’ I raised my eyebrows.
‘She’s catching up with friends.’
‘She could have come too.’ I was wondering if she would ever join us for a meal.
‘But—’
‘Is she still scared of Mum and Dad?’ I laughed.
‘You’re joking aren’t you?’ Dad raised his eyebrows.
‘Who’d be scared of us?’ Mum laughed.
‘My girlfriend.’ Peter smiled. ‘Don’t worry, I haven’t told her any nasty stories. She’s just quiet.’
We continued to laugh while Peter’s cheeks flushed.
‘Perhaps I should invite her shopping sometime and get to know her a little.’ Mum poured a glass of water.
Peter shrugged.
Seriously, who’d be scared of my parents? If anything, they were too kind.
After dinner, they presented me with a new mobile phone and a bling accessories pack. Later when I went to bed, I began programming in phone numbers and it hit me—my best friend, the beautiful, sophisticated, and mostly considerate one, didn’t call me. She’d never forgotten before. It wasn’t the first time we’d been separated on my birthday, but it was the first time she’d forgotten to call me. Guess her life really was self-centred at the moment.
The next day I went for a run and pulled out my phone to dial Suzie’s number. Thankfully she answered. ‘Guess where I am.’
‘Ah, it’s noisy … and you sound a little out of breath …’
‘Yes! I’m on my brand new mobile phone! Way better than Mum’s old one.’
‘Did you have a good birthday?’
‘It was great. Wish you could have joined ...’ I could hear Suzie’s mother yelling in the background. ‘What’s she yelling at you for this time?’
‘I’ve got a stack of jobs to do around here.’
‘Still? Did your mum tell you I came to visit?’
‘No. When was that?’
‘When you were busy doing chores.’
‘That’s life.’ Suzie’s voice was low and miserable. ‘See you next week at school.’
Was there anything that I could do? She was so isolated, almost imprisoned—yet I was so free. It didn’t seem fair.
*~*~*~*
People rushed around us while we waited for Steph’s plane to arrive. I was still irritated that my best friend had forgotten my birthday. I couldn’t let it go. I had to ask why she hadn’t made time to wish me a happy birthday. Was I self-centred because it bothered me that she hadn’t remembered?
She emerged from the pool of people looking as glamorous as ever.
‘Have you forgotten something?’ I asked as we pushed our way through the swarming airport.
‘No, I think I packed everything.’
‘I mean�
��’
‘You had your hair done or something?’
‘No, it’s just—’
‘What? Just tell me, Tabbie.’
‘Did you forget my birthday?’
‘No! No way.’ She stopped walking and the person behind her bumped into her back. ‘I’ve never forgotten your birthday. How could I have?’
‘You really did forget it?’ I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me.
She shook her head and strolled forward. ‘Yeah, sorry.’
‘I thought you might have been planning to surprise me or something,’ I blurted.
‘Sorry.’
I averted my eyes as tears swelled. When she was silent for a moment too long I glanced back at her. A dazzling shimmer at the side of her face caught my attention.
‘Are those earrings new?’ I asked.
‘Yeah.’ Stephanie paused. ‘Mum, Dad and April gave them to me as an early birthday present.’
‘Oh.’ How lovely. She celebrated her birthday without even thinking of me.
‘I’ll make it up to you. Let’s catch a movie tonight.’
‘We’ve got school tomorrow.’ The automatic doors opened and I stormed off to find the car.
‘So, it doesn’t have to be a late one.’
‘No. Don’t worry about it.’
I turned away from her after we climbed into the car and watched the traffic flash past the window for the entire drive home.
CHAPTER 23
In second term our schoolwork increased and Janet’s parents were on and off like a jumper in autumn. Suzie was only allowed out for school and dance classes and Stephanie spent hours crying in her room. Even though Janet and Suzie had major problems going on, Stephanie was the one I had to live with. I couldn’t control Jason’s moves and tell him to fix the problem anymore than I could control Stephanie. I hoped after her break in Toowoomba she’d be ready to move on and stop moping. But every night what sounded like pillow-muffled sniffles slipped under her door.
After all she’d been through, I wanted to do something for her birthday. Just to make her feel special and take her mind off Jason. So I bought some helium-filled balloons and hid them in my cupboard overnight.
‘Happy Birthday!’ I woke her up handing over the balloons and a small gold foil wrapped box.
‘Thank you.’ She cried.
‘Here, here.’ I passed her a box of tissues. ‘You’ve done enough crying. Let’s have a great day.’
‘I can’t believe you’ve done all this when I totally forgot your birthday.’
‘Don’t worry about it. It’s in the past.’ I’d let go of the fact she’d forgotten my birthday, so she may as well let it go too.
‘Do you want to ditch school for the day and hang out?’
‘I can’t. You’ll have fun at school. Wait and see.’ It would have been fun to take a day off, but I had a maths quiz and I knew Steph was already in the bad books with most of her teachers.
She opened the present I’d given her—a silver bracelet with a small charm in the shape of a cross. Since going to youth group I’d found so much peace in the symbol I wanted to give Stephanie a little peace as well.
‘It’s really pretty. Thank you!’
Stephanie’s eyes lit up at the school gate when she was greeted by girls with dozens of balloons. Everyone fussed over her all day. I hoped her day was fun and a timely distraction from her neglectful ex-boyfriend.
Mum and Dad had planned to give Stephanie a family dinner party for her birthday, but those plans were squashed after school. Jason had turned up and whisked her away. They obviously made up because from fifty metres away, I watched her happily jump into his car. The car she’d paid for.
That night, I lay in bed wondering if she’d come home. I released myself to sleep when the front door clicked just before midnight.
Stephanie wasn’t in her bed when I woke up. She hadn’t come home. The click that let me sleep was only Dad locking up.
‘I quit the job,’ Steph told me the next afternoon. ‘Jason took me out to a fancy restaurant for my birthday. It was amazing.’
‘That’s great Steph. I’m ecstatic for you,’ I said knowing my voice sounded anything but.
‘I’m so happy, but I don’t think I’d go as far as ecstatic. I’ll have to find something else.’
‘Surely you can wait a bit?’
‘Perhaps a week or two ...’
I waited for her to go on. She opened her mouth but nothing came out.
I wanted to talk to her about dating. Now that I was sixteen, Mum and Dad were okay with me going out on a date. But I didn’t have anyone to go out with, and well, I just wanted to talk to someone about it.
Thursday afternoon was my next opening to chat with Stephanie. But she had no listening ears, only talking lips.
Whenever I spoke she responded with vague comments like, ‘I thought we were over, but I was wrong.’ And, ‘He’s everything I hoped for.’ Then, ‘It’s not always great, but, what relationship is?’
Maybe I should just listen and learn from her, as she paved the way before me.
Friday afternoon I again hoped to have a best friend deep and meaningful about what was happening in my life for a change. I walked out of the school grounds to see Steph lingering at the gate.
‘Hey, Tabbie,’ she called. ‘Come shopping with me.’
‘Are you asking or telling?’
‘Can you?’
‘I guess.’ I checked the time on my watch. We’d be back in time for youth group.
‘Jason’s parked over here.’
Oh, great. I was thinking she wanted to spend some time with me but he was there. There was no way I wanted to go shopping with Steph and Jason.
‘Is he coming shopping as well?’
‘I’m sure he’ll drop us off. He’s not into shopping.’
I grinned, hoping she was right and climbed into the back seat. Maybe a shopping afternoon with Steph would be just the way to sort out my life.
‘Right, first stop, milkshakes,’ I said, as we watched Jason drive off.
‘Okay, let me guess. Caramel for you?’
‘You’ve got it.’
‘Maybe I should get a skinny shake.’
‘Why?’ I asked looking up and down her perfect figure.
‘April noticed I’d gained a little weight.’
‘No way. What on earth did she say that for?’
‘You’re right. Stuff it. Make mine extra thick.’ Steph laughed and for the first time in a long time, she looked like my old light-hearted friend.
‘It sure is good to see you smiling, Steph.’
She winked at me and grabbed two straws.
‘So you’ve forgiven him?’
‘He said he was sorry.’
‘How do you trust he won’t do it again?’
‘I don’t know. But he does really care about me.’
I hoped she was right. I wished I had more experience. But my gut told me she shouldn’t trust him and chances were she wouldn’t listen to my gut feeling on the matter.
‘Right.’ Stephanie slurped the last drop of thick shake. ‘Let’s check out some clothes.’
Stephanie was drawn to the shops with clothes fit for nightclubbing. I wondered if the whole ‘making up’ business meant that Jason was going to drag Steph out with his friends.
It seemed like Stephanie was after the shock factor with the next round of trying on.
‘That’s trashy, Steph. Where would you wear it anyway?’
‘It’s how they all dress.’ She turned to look at herself in the mirror from every angle.
‘Who? The girls at those parties you’ve been going to?’ Who was she hanging out with? Trailer trash?
‘Yeah, I just feel so out of place and young.’
‘You’re sixteen.’ I couldn’t control what she wore, but ... ‘Here, what about this, and this top … and here, try these.’ I passed her a few pieces that would leave a little to the imagination.
‘I love that.’
‘Me too.’ Steph smiled. ‘I knew there was a reason I brought you. Why don’t you find something new too?’
‘Ah ... not from this shop.’ I looked around. I couldn’t see anything that I would wear. ‘Where would I wear clothes like these?’
‘Maybe you could come to a party with us sometime.’
‘Oh you’re funny.’ That would be really crazy. I couldn’t believe she even said it. ‘Three’s a crowd.’
‘Let’s find you something.’ Steph paid for her clothes at the counter. ‘Next shop is your choice.’
I chose to hit Towngirl. A shop where I could always find something I loved. Steph bought me a top, two pairs of jeans that didn’t make me look like a pear, and a cropped cardigan.
‘Thank you.’ I hugged her. ‘I can’t believe how generous you’ve been.’
‘That’s okay.’
‘But are you sure? Like, I could pay you back for them.’
‘No way. I wanted to buy them for you.’ Steph had a yearning in her eyes I’d never seen before. ‘Do you want to come back to Jason’s and he can drive you home?’
‘Oh, are you going back there now?’ I was hoping we’d head straight home.
‘He’s expecting me. We’re going out tonight.’
‘I’ll be fine getting the train home by myself.’ I sighed, hoping she didn’t hear my disappointment.
‘Come back and have some dinner with us,’ Steph said. ‘I’ve had so much fun this afternoon. I think we’re getting pizza. Please say you’ll come.’
It didn’t sound like the most fabulous invitation, but we’d had such a lovely afternoon I didn’t want this time with Steph to end. ‘Okay. But I really want to get home for youth. Can we eat soon after we get there?’
‘Sure.’
‘Can I use your home phone? I didn’t take my mobile to school. Mum will be wondering where I am.’
The noise coming from Jason’s apartment rumbled down the stairwell.
‘He must have invited some friends,’ Steph said over her shoulder as we walked up.
‘Should I just go home now?’ I wanted to get out of there. Hanging out with a bunch of uni students in party mode was not my idea of fun. ‘If I get the next bus, it’ll still be light when I get home.’
Spiralling Out of the Shadow (The Spiralling Trilogy) Page 12