by Liz Talley
“Night, Eva.”
“Good night, Jake.”
He walked out, not bothering to shut the door. Somehow he couldn’t. It was too final.
“Hey,” she whispered from the doorway.
Jake turned. “Yeah?”
“Tonight was hard after what happened, you know? But it will get better. We’re good, okay?”
He glanced back at Dutch and Hank, who were deep in conversation. “Sure.”
She shut the door softly, like an apology.
Jake stared at the closed door, knowing they weren’t okay and wondering what he could do about it. Maybe nothing. Eva was right. He wasn’t a man who could love a woman the way she needed. He was who he’d always been.
Something he’d carried around with him for a long time…something it seemed he would carry awhile longer.
*
THE NEXT EVENING Eva took Charlie to a special service at First Presbyterian and learned that hard church pews, long choir programs and seven-year-old little boys did not mix.
“Stop,” she hissed for the twenty-second time in the past hour as Charlie kicked a steady rhythm on the back of the pew in front of them. Mildred Chandler sent a scowl over her shoulder before straightening her old crow shoulders and issuing a harrumph.
Old hag.
“Did you say something?” Shelby Beauchamp whispered, popping a pacifier into her infant daughter’s mouth.
“Uh, no.” Eva pressed her lips together, wondering if she was going cuckoo in the third row of the Magnolia Bend First Pres Church. She didn’t think she’d uttered the insult out loud, but she was so damn tired she couldn’t remember. Sleep had been as elusive as an antelope flying across the Serengeti. If it wasn’t Charlie crying out from his wet bed, it was the memory of Jake’s face as he walked away from her the night before.
He’d looked so defeated, and something inside her had broken loose. For so long she’d wanted exactly what he’d offered—and what had she done? She’d shoved the chance for something more with Jake away like week-old meatloaf. And why?
Because.
Jake had nailed it—she was scared. Scared all she’d built would topple, scattering ruin around her. She’d worked too hard to build something she was proud of here, and the thought of losing it made her feel sick. And then there was the daddy issue. Her father had been so similar to Jake, passionate about saving people, but unable to stick with any woman. Like so many other women, she’d allowed her heart to chase after a man so similar to the one she’d tried desperately to please. The whole thing was so messed up.
“I’m glad you came tonight,” Shelby whispered as Ricky Hebert sang a rich baritone solo about gathering the fruit of the vine.
“Sure.”
“I forgot about Charlie when I sent you that email, but it’s good you brought him, too. They have cookies and punch after the concert,” Shelby said, sliding her eyes to Charlie, who wriggled like a worm in hot ashes.
Her brother froze and whispered, “Cookies?”
Shelby nodded, a smile on her pretty face, as she switched Lindsay Rebecca to her other arm. The baby pulled out her pacifier and screeched. “Daaaaa!”
“Shhh!” Shelby said, plopping the pacifier back into the child’s mouth before turning to Eva, her blue eyes filled with excitement. “Did you hear that? She just said Daddy.”
Mildred cast another disapproving glare over her shoulder.
“Sorry, Mrs. Chandler,” Shelby whispered, leaning up to the battle-ax’s ear. “Linds just said her first word.”
The older woman managed a smile and nod before shifting her attention back to the concert where Shelby’s husband, John, stood in the back row of the choir. His gaze found Shelby and Lindsay, and his face lit up. John looked the most like Jake, except he was taller, a bit rangier and way more reserved. A steady man, he’d turned the corner on grief with the help of the curvy woman sitting next to Eva. Shelby was akin to sunshine on a dark day, and the town had taken to her like a duck to water. If a person decided not to like her, she’d wear them down with unapologetic humor and cheer.
Finally, the concert ended and Charlie leaped from the bench like flames licked his butt. He nearly knocked Peter Haas down at the end of the row in his quest for cookies, which were being served in the fellowship hall connected to the sanctuary.
“Sorry, Mr. Haas,” Eva said, patting the ancient usher on his sharp elbow.
“That’s all right. The little fellow must be thirsty,” he said with a lift of his caterpillar eyebrows.
“That and lacking in manners. I’m working on it,” Eva said, moving through the light crowd lining the entrance, spying her brother, who already had a glass of punch and was in the process of shoveling cookies onto his plate.
“Hey, slow down, Charlie. You don’t need any more than that,” she said, curving a hand over his shoulder.
“I’m hungry. I didn’t like that spaghetti junk you made.”
She sighed and then took the tongs from her brother. “Tough stuff. Now hand me those two cookies and go sit over there next to Will and Wyatt.”
Charlie’s eyes lit up. “They’re here, too? Where?”
Eva pointed out the two boys, sitting at a table noshing on cookies and turned right into Sara Richter, the mother of the little boy who had come to Charlie’s birthday party. Her son, Drew, was in Charlie’s class, and from what Eva understood he sat with her brother every day at lunch.
“Hi, Sara,” Eva said, wrapping the two cookies she’d taken from Charlie’s plate into a napkin and tucking them in her purse. She would put them in Charlie’s lunch tomorrow. “Thanks for letting Drew come to Charlie’s birthday party. The boys had lots of fun.”
“Yeah, I needed to talk to you about that. Do you have a minute?”
Dread sank like a stone in her stomach. “Is everything okay?”
“Can we talk in the hall or something?” Sara asked, her gaze moving frantically back and forth from the podium in the front of the hall toward the exit sign hanging above the double doors leading out into the hallway. Uncomfortable seemed to be the word of the evening.
“Sure.” Eva gave Charlie a wave and then pointed toward the hall. The child nodded his head and went back to chattering with his newfound friends.
The hall was unlit and quiet. Eva turned as soon as Sara slipped through the door. Sara was tall, spare and had a mole on her left cheek. She worked as a loan officer at the bank and always dressed in neutral colors as if being sedate would make her more approachable. “What’s wrong?”
Sara released a deep breath. “Look, I hate to do this with all the stress you’ve been under. Taking care of a kid when you’re not used to it must be a huge adjustment…”
“But…”
“Drew said Charlie threatened to stab him with scissors.”
“What?”
“I know, I know. I’m not trying to make a mountain out of a molehill, but I thought you needed to know. I heard that he experienced some trauma at the hands of his mother.”
“A little, but his mother never harmed him,” Eva said, immediately wondering if in fact Claren had done something to Charlie. She hadn’t thought to ask, but the woman had been desperate enough to leave him in search of drugs. What other things had she been desperate enough to do? “I can’t believe he’d threaten Drew. He likes him.”
“It’s probably a power play. Charlie lost control of his world, so he wants to control what he can. Drew’s a bit shy and impressionable. I can see how he could be easily manipulated. So though I don’t think Charlie would hurt Drew, I do think you need to know.”
“I am so sorry, Sara.”
The woman nodded. “I know. It was really hard for me to come to you, and, hey, I won’t say anything to anyone. I talked to Drew about how to handle situations like this. My son won’t be ugly to Charlie, but he will remove himself from any situation where he feels uncomfortable. Good luck, Eva.” Sara patted her arm and then stepped back into the fellowship hall.
&n
bsp; Eva slumped against the wall and stared at a bulletin board announcing church news. There was a colorful pumpkin in one corner and leaves dotting the gingham background, but none of those cheerful, positive flyers and posters made her feel any better.
Charlie had threatened to stab his friend?
She couldn’t wrap her mind around Sara’s words. For the past few days Charlie had been so good. Mostly. He’d been a typical kid, dropping jelly on the floor and forgetting his signed papers, but he seemed secure, comfortable. As if what she was doing worked.
He had an appointment with Macy Hebert the next day, so Eva could bring this behavior up with her at the start of his counseling session. But she had to say something to Charlie before he went to school the following morning. She couldn’t have something happen, especially after Sara had told her about his behavior. Of course, saying something and doing something were two different things.
Eva pushed off the wall and entered the fellowship hall, nearly making it past Jake.
“Eva,” he called out.
She turned and pasted on a smile, dreading dealing with Jake, even though part of her wanted to sink in his arms and admit she had been a moron. She wanted someone to hold her, to tell her everything would be okay. But it couldn’t be Jake. “What are you doing here? You never come to these things.”
“Shelby.”
“She sent you an email, too?”
“And threats. She fits right into this family. She’s learned how to issue ultimatums with a gracious smile.”
“Takes talent,” Eva said, craning her head around a group of older ladies discussing the best cranberry salad recipe in search of her brother. He still sat with Matt’s boys, happily munching on sugar cookies. He didn’t look like a serial killer to her.
Okay, she knew he wouldn’t actually hurt Drew. But something was wrong and it was up to her to fix it, which was another good point to add to her list of reasons for not messing around with Jake. She’d taken on an important responsibility in giving her brother a stable environment. Charlie needed her to make wise decisions…to put his needs over her desires.
“So did you like the concert?” Jake said, sounding…not himself.
“It was good,” she said, craning her head again.
“He hasn’t moved.”
“Who?”
Jake made a face. “Your brother.”
“I know. I’m just keeping an eye on him. That’s pretty much my job now.” She crossed her arms and tried to look casual, but the information Sara had imparted had her upset. She didn’t know how to handle this situation because she knew squat about kids.
“He’s just a kid.”
“What do you know about kids?” she challenged, lifting her chin. “And besides, neither one of us knows what he’s gone through these past months. The counselor at the rehab center said Claren was strung out on a lot of stuff. I don’t know what she did or didn’t do for Charlie. I should have known, but I didn’t. I failed him, and I refuse to do that now, again.”
“Bull…uh, feathers. He was not your responsibility.”
“He’s my brother. I should have checked on him more. I should have known Claren was using again. I didn’t help him then, but I’m putting him first now. The kid deserves to have someone put him first.”
Jake studied her in the harsh overhead light of the hall, making her tuck a strand of hair behind her ear and moisten her lips. She had forgotten to put on some lip balm, and the first true cool front had passed through town, drying the air out and making her lips chapped.
“I understand,” he said, reaching out a hand but then drawing it back. “You’re a good person, Eva. I’m proud of you for being so concerned about your brother.”
He said it as though he confirmed something in his head. She couldn’t guess what that was because while on the surface Jake seemed open, he was definitely closed off. But she could see he’d reached a conclusion. Maybe he saw the reason in her words the night before. Maybe he understood this was bigger than wanting a few rolls in the hay with someone. That the kid was more important than that. That giving Eva security and support was important not just for her, but for Charlie. That he couldn’t risk becoming a slave to desire any more than she could remain chained to hers.
Impasse.
“Thank you,” she said, craning her head again, spying Charlie scooting away from the table. “I better go. He has school tomorrow.”
“Later,” Jake said, moving toward the exit, making her wonder if he’d only stayed for her. The idea he’d waited to see her warmed her, made her feel cared for.
Eva made it to Charlie before he could scamper down the hall with Will and Wyatt toward the children’s ministry wing.
“Time to go, good-time Charlie.”
“Awww, man. Just a little longer. Please.”
“Nope. School tomorrow and we have to do some reading tonight so you can take your AR test.”
“I don’t want to read. It’s stupid.”
“Charlie,” she warned.
“I’m staying,” he said, crossing his arms and glaring at her. His chin jutted out and the mulishness in his eyes looked familiar. Monroes weren’t known for their bending nature.
“No, you aren’t. We’re going home now and you’re not making a scene.” She glanced at the people around her who already cast apprehensive glances toward them.
“Make me,” he screamed, ripping himself away from the hand she’d placed on his shoulder. Eva felt the shock of the people around her. Conversations died. People looked at them.
Eva lowered her voice, stooping down to eyeball her brother, whose face had turned red. “Don’t do this, Charlie. Please.”
“I hate you. You make me do everything,” he yelled, darting past her toward the double doors leading to the hall. He ran into an older lady, lurched to the left and then the right, like a football player running toward the end zone.
And then his feet left the ground as an arm swooped in to stop him.
Jake.
Charlie kicked, but Jake merely lifted him off the ground, tossed him over his shoulder and moved back toward Eva. Everyone in the place watched, wide-eyed.
Charlie burst into tears, bellowing for his mother. Jake ignored him and stopped in front of Eva.
He laughed, smacking Charlie on the bottom playfully. “I believe I caught something of yours.” His smile encouraged her to lighten the moment.
Eva managed to smile, though the lump in her throat felt suspiciously full of tears. She rolled her eyes. “He’s always trying to make a break for it. Who knew being an evil stepsister was so hard?”
A few folks sent relieved glances and went back to talking quietly. Out of the corner of her eyes she saw Fancy set a platter of cookies on the table next to the coffee urn and start toward them.
“Put me down,” Charlie moaned, kicking his feet halfheartedly.
“No way. You’re so fast, I’m pretty sure Eva should sign you up for football or something. We could call you Touchdown Charlie,” Jake said, jerking his head toward the exit. “Allow me to carry your purchase to the car, madam.”
Seeing Fancy dodge Mildred, who still looked as sour as a persimmon, Eva nodded and hustled toward the door leading to the parking lot. The waning day with its paintbrush sky met her when she stepped out. Her smile died, and she closed her eyes, breathing out, “Jesus.”
“My mother would say to call on him, and in this instance, I think it’s a good idea,” Jake said, warmth coating his voice, making her relax. This is what the man was good at—making things easier. Making the tragic bearable.
Not that this was tragic…but she was worried about her brother. Obviously, she’d patted herself on the back a bit too early. The kid had issues, ones that scared her.
“Yeah, I probably should hit my knees more.”
“I’m gonna leave that one alone,” he laughed.
Eva felt the blush hit her cheeks. “Only you.”
Which was exactly right. Only Jake.
<
br /> Wasn’t that pretty much her motto in life? Only Jake.
Her knight in a denim button-down walked to her car, sliding Charlie from his shoulders. He held the little boy up under his arms and gave him a slight shake to get his attention. Her brother lifted a rounded, tear-streaked face to Jake.
“You do realize that your sister loves you?” Jake brought the kid closer to him so that their noses nearly met.
Charlie merely screwed up his face and started crying.
“No sense in crying about it now, kiddo. You didn’t act nice to her in there and everyone saw that. What do you have to say to that?”
“I’m…I’m…sor…sorry,” Charlie cried, lifting his hands to rub at his eyes.
“That’s a good start, Charlie,” Jake said, setting the boy down, ruffling his hair. At that moment, Eva saw a spectrum in Jake she’d never seen before. Jake would be a helluva dad. Firm but kind. Funny and yet sensible. Approachable, loving and not too far off his own father.
“Okay,” Eva said, grabbing her brother and giving him a hug. “I know things have been hard. I forgive you. We all make mistakes, but we have to do better. Okay?” She looked at Jake, her words carrying double meaning.
Charlie nodded against her neck. She felt a suspicious dampness that was likely tears mixed with snot, but she ignored it and hugged him tight.
How could she want to both throttle and hug someone at the same time?
Jake watched them with a tender expression. “Guess everything’s okay now?”
Eva nodded, pulled her keys out of her pocket and unlocked the car. After she got a sniffling Charlie settled, she shut the door and turned back to Jake. “Thank you. That was an awkward situation for me. I actually thought about pulling the fire alarm but it seemed redundant for a firefighter.”
Jake chuckled. “Naw, B Shift would have to answer.”
“Seriously, though, thank you.”
“That’s what friends are for, right?” He reached out and tucked a piece of the hair she’d left unbound behind her ear.