by Liz Talley
“I went to church this morning,” he said.
“You did?”
“Mmm-hmm. You weren’t there.”
“I went to New Orleans. Took Charlie to see Claren.”
“My dad told me. He and I had a talk.”
Eva swallowed because Jake’s voice was low, serious. He hadn’t brought her here to watch turtles and buzzards. He had a purpose. And that kiss? What had that been about?
“What did you talk about?” she asked, clearing her throat and wrapping her arms around her knees. The fabric of her casual sundress bunched beneath her fingers.
“You.”
“Me?”
Jake turned to her. “Yeah, and I decided something.”
She crooked an eyebrow.
“We were wrong.”
“About?”
“Dating.”
Eva shook her head. “Look, you know I want you. That’s pretty obvious, but I think we’d be stupid to sleep together. It never works between friends. Even more important, it never works between coworkers.”
“Why not? It’s silly to pretend like this thing between us will go away. It won’t.”
“I’m used to not getting what I want. Problem is, you’re not.”
He made a face. “What are you so afraid of? That I’ll end up being like your dad?”
She felt as if he’d slapped her. On the surface she’d often thought he was similar to her father, but she’d never put it under a microscope. Was that the real reason? She was afraid she’d end up like her mother—broken and looking for another man to fix her, fill the void? Maybe so. Maybe she was afraid of trusting a man who couldn’t stay put. But she wasn’t going to toss that out there. Sounded irrational. “I’m afraid that once you get tired of me and move on to the next flavor of the month, our friendship would be over.”
Jake’s face darkened. “Why do you think I’m not capable of staying with one person?”
Eva tried to be matter-of-fact, but it was hard with a teeny voice inside her urging her to consider the impossible. What if Jake could love her? What if she was different? “I’ve been around for three years, through all of the girls you’ve dated. I’m not saying you making a commitment is impossible, but very improbable. I smell a broken heart.”
“For you?”
Eva looked away. “What do you think?”
“Oh,” he said, his voice soft. Eva wasn’t sure she’d ever heard Jake speak so…reverently. He’d gotten her unstated message—she loved him and he’d break her heart.
“But what if I’m falling in love with you?” he said. “What if you’re breaking my heart by not even giving me a shot at yours?”
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
THE DOUBLE TAKE that Eva did was epic Three Stooges. “What? Breaking your heart?”
He merely looked at her, trying to convey his seriousness.
“Don’t tease me, Jake.”
Guess it hadn’t worked. “I’m not. I feel different about you than I have any other girl. It’s crazy, but I think I am falling in love with you.”
If he hadn’t been so shocked by his own admission, he might have teased her to lighten the mood. But saying “I think I’m falling in love with you” wasn’t something to laugh about. Especially for a guy like him, a guy who’d been allergic to commitment.
Not that this was a commitment. More like a forecast for the big L.
Eva had always been like family. He was devoted to her, loyal, and he knew she would always be there for him. But as those words had tumbled from his mouth, the truth became reality.
This thing he felt was incredibly alive inside him, uncurling and opening itself to possibility. This wasn’t about sex—though he was primed and ready if that moment should arrive—but about something scary, strange and wonderful.
Had to be love, right?
Jake looked at her now. At the way the setting sun bathed her bared shoulders in a golden light. At the yearning on her face. At those cinnamon-brown eyes mirroring the shock she no doubt felt at his declaration. And it was as if he truly saw her for the first time. His Eva.
“Wait. Say it again,” she said, her gaze meeting his.
“I think I’m falling for you?”
She narrowed her eyes. He knew her thoughts—what kind of ploy to get in her pants was this?
“E, this isn’t about sex. I know you think it is. I’m talking about something totally different. I’m talking about love.”
“Love?”
“Gotta be. I can’t stop thinking about you.”
“I’m pretty sure that’s not love.”
“No, I’ve never felt this way, like I might shrivel up and die if you dismiss this thing between us as only physical.”
She swallowed, twisting the fingers that clasped her knees almost frantically. He could see she was trying to hold her emotions together. “Jake, I told you no, and that’s just something you don’t hear too often from a woman.”
“Bullshit,” he said, tugging her arms, making her hands come undone. He took her hand, cradling it, turning it over. Her hands were strong with unpolished, short nails. These weren’t the hands of a woman scared of anything. So why was she so afraid to try something more with him? “I’m willing to take the risk. I’m rolling the dice on the chance we could be something more. For once in my life I’m not running from the messy stuff, I’m not hiding from the emotion inside me, but you are. Why are you so scared to trust me? Me?”
She ripped her hand from his. “I trust you, Jake, I do. But not with this. I’ve wanted you for so long, and I should be jumping into your arms. But I’m scared to let you love me. I’ve seen girls just like me think they can grab hold of you. They couldn’t. So in this I’m being practical.”
“Practical sucks, E.” Jake spun his legs around so he faced Eva, and then he leaned over, setting one hand on either side of her. She dropped her knees as he leaned in close. When they were almost nose to nose he said, “Tell me you don’t love me.”
Her eyes welled with sudden tears. “Don’t do this to me, Jake. Please.”
“No. Tell me. Tell me you don’t love me. Tell me to leave you the hell alone.”
“Stop.”
“Just be Eva. Be honest.”
Swallowing hard, she stared into the depths of his gaze. Her pretty eyes shimmered with longing, with something so absolutely sweet his heart tightened. “I want you to leave… Oh, please don’t do this, Jake.”
“Why? My Eva isn’t afraid of anything. She charges in, she doesn’t back down. She’s not afraid of risk. Not even of a broken heart.”
“I’m not invincible, Jake. I cry like any other woman. I’d rather go on wanting you because that’s easier than hating you.”
“So say it. Tell me you don’t love me.” He pressed her. He had to. This was it. This was the moment. She either told him to take a hike now, when they were emotionally bare, fantastically vulnerable, or she let him in, giving them a chance at something lasting. If she said she didn’t love him, he’d respect her decision. Wouldn’t like it, but he’d respect her right to step away from him.
“No. I can’t,” she said, shaking her head as a lone tear escaped her thick lashes.
He kissed her then. His mouth pressed softly to hers, searching for her answer.
Opening her mouth, she gave in with a little sigh.
Keeping his hands planted on the rock was sheer hell, but he wanted her to meet him halfway, to know that he wasn’t seducing her. He was baring himself to her.
After several seconds he lifted his head. “Say it now.”
She swallowed. “You know I can’t.”
He tasted her lips again, pressing gently. Tenderly. “I can’t leave you alone, Eva. I’m not treating you like a prize. I’m not a little boy determined to get what I want. I’m a man in strange territory. I can’t turn around. I have to see if you and me can be what John and Shelby are, what Abi and Leif are. Hell, what my parents are.”
She looked up at him, lifted a hand
and traced his hairline. “You’re killing me. You know that, right?”
“I’m just being truthful,” he whispered against her lips.
“This could get really messy,” she said.
Jake answered with a kiss because the idea of hurt seemed too far away. This time he reached for her, hauling her against him. He ravaged her mouth before dropping small kisses across her jawline, seeking the sweet stickiness of her neck.
Groaning against her skin, he savored the smell and taste of this woman who’d enraptured him these past weeks. This woman who wore her braids tight, fussed if he didn’t load the dishwasher right and had his back when they charged into a burning house. “You’re perfect. So soft. So damn beautiful. Please let me love you. Love me, Eva. Okay? Don’t be afraid to love me.”
She stilled against him, as though his words had sunk inside her. The moment paused, poignant and surreal. And then she released her breath.
“Okay, Jake. We’ll try.” Eva dropped her head back so he could better access the delicacy of her collarbone. Jake didn’t hesitate, trailing his lips across the length, all the while running his hands over her back. Eva lifted her hands to his shoulders, holding him to her.
A sharp rock jabbed his hand and so he lifted his head. “Let’s find a soft patch of grass. Then we’ll celebrate being brave by having a good old-fashioned make-out session.”
Eva laughed and it shot straight to his heart. The happiness that had played hide-and-seek with him for the past few months slammed into him.
“I like the way you celebrate,” she said.
He slithered across the rock to find firm footing. Standing, he extended his hand and then hauled her against him. Hip to hip they stood on the rock. Jake lifted a hand and stroked her jaw. “I can’t believe it’s you.”
“Huh?”
“That you’re the one I’ve been waiting for.”
“Am I?” she whispered, looking deep into his eyes as if the truth lay there. “How can you be sure?”
He lifted her hand and pressed it against his chest. “I feel it here. I ache here when I look at you. It’s like in the movies. It’s crazy.”
Eva clasped his shirt and pulled him to her, lifting on her toes. She brushed her lips across his. “It is crazy.”
Then she kissed him hard, as if sealing a bargain. Reaching behind her, she started tugging. He heard the zip and with a wiggle of her shoulders the material slid down, hanging on her rounded hips. She wore a strapless bra that strained to contain her large breasts.
Oh, how he remembered those sweet breasts. He’d dreamed about them.
Then she twitched her hips and the dress fell to her feet. She wore postage-stamp-sized bikini panties the color of sour apple lollipops.
“Oh, E. You’re so beautiful,” Jake said, reaching out to stroke the curve of her waist. Her stomach twitched at his touch.
Eva stepped out of the dress. Picking it up, she looked around. “Where’s that patch of grass?”
Mouth dry, Jake pointed to a small area beneath a pin oak. It looked like a little piece of Eden…or maybe just a sufficient place to make out with Eva. Either way, he nearly lost it when she turned on her toes and stepped gingerly out of her strappy sandals and onto the still-lush grass.
The sour-apple panties were of the thong variety, and Eva’s ass was spectacular.
Jake reached for the hem of his T-shirt and then hesitated. “Just a sec.” He ripped his gaze away from her because he couldn’t look at her delicious body and say what he was about to say. “Uh, maybe we shouldn’t. Not because I don’t want to. That’s obvious.” He brushed a hand down his body, indicating the hardness straining against his shorts.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
“I didn’t want this to be about sex. Those words weren’t a line tossed out so I could get laid. I meant what I said, and I want to prove it to you.” His gaze met hers.
“Oh,” she said, wrapping her arms about her waist. “So you don’t want to have sex?”
“Oh, I want to have sex. But I want you to know that’s not what you and I are about. So I’ll stop—and suffer—but I will stop.”
Eva unwrapped her arms from her waist and gave him a look straight out of a girlie magazine. Totally come hither. “If I didn’t want you, I wouldn’t have unzipped my dress. I believe you, so if you want more, come and take it.”
Jake was a lot of things, but a stupid-ass wasn’t one of them. He grabbed the hem of his shirt and jerked it overhead, dropping it atop her discarded dress. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out his wallet. He usually kept protection in the inner pocket, and sure enough his fingers hit the telltale plastic condom package.
“Wait,” Eva said, snatching his T-shirt and spreading it in the center of the grass. Then she lowered herself on it, extending her legs, crossing them at the ankle. She leaned back on her hands, breasts thrust up. She looked like a War World II pinup girl.
His mouth watered.
“Take off your shorts,” she said, her voice smoky, her eyes lit with desire.
He’d seen nothing hotter in his life than Eva, ass on his T-shirt, breasts spilling out of her bra, ordering him around.
Smiling, he tugged down the elastic-banded athletic shorts, wincing when they snagged on his erection. Then he toed off his tennis shoes and socks before standing only in plaid boxers, which were absurdly tented.
Walking to her, he knelt and placed the condom under the T-shirt for fast retrieval.
Eva grabbed his waistband and jerked him to her. “I still have to help Charlie with his reading worksheet, so let’s get this going.”
“Way to make it romantic.” Jake laughed, covering her body with his. Sighing as his naked flesh met hers.
“I’m just being pract—” Eva couldn’t finish her sentence because Jake kissed her, rolling onto his back, taking her with him. Her hair fell in a curtain about his face, and he was enveloped in the sweetness of a woman—a woman whose kisses curled his toes as if she was the heroine of a bad romantic comedy. Or a good one.
Either way, she made him jelly beneath her…all but one part. One very important part.
“Mmm,” she groaned, her hands stroking his chest, making him even harder, if that were possible. She threw her leg over his, fitting all her soft parts to his.
He reached down and filled one hand with magnificent ass. The other cupped her jaw, angling her head so he could deepen the kiss.
And then her hand hit pay dirt.
“Oh, slow down, sweetheart,” he said, removing her hand from his boxers. “I know you’re not in that big of a hurry to do homework,” he said, kissing his way down her neck.
Eva complied by straddling him and sitting up. She grinned. “I’m sorta a single mother now, so—” she wiggled her hips making him groan “—so let’s get busy.”
He laughed and grasped her hips. “This is totally reminding me of my high school days ’cause I won’t last much longer if you don’t stop.”
Eva reached around and unhooked her bra, flinging it toward their growing pile of clothes.
Jake sat up, earning a squeal from her, and buried his face between her breasts, dropping kisses while she wrapped her legs around his waist. Her laughter soon died when he tugged one of her nipples with his teeth.
“Oh, Jake.” She sighed, her head falling back.
He held her tight while he loved her gorgeous breasts with his mouth, suckling, nipping, nuzzling her into utter bonelessness. She rocked her hips, grinding herself against his erection. The sensation blew his mind.
“I want—” he murmured against her skin “—the first time to be, um, good, but I—”
“No, I can’t wait, either,” she said, reaching past him, stretching to grab the condom sitting near a clump of dandelions. “Screw going slow. I need you. Right. Now.”
Jake rolled her over, lowering her gently to the soft grass beneath them. He took the package from her fingers and then tugged the band of her panties, sliding them down her gor
geous legs until she lay bared beneath him, absolutely made for driving a man out of his mind…absolutely made for him.
“Jake,” she insisted, tugging the band of his boxers again. “Come on.”
He grinned at her and then shimmied out of his underwear. Eva reached for him but he shook his head, making quick work of donning the protection. Then he wrapped his arms around her, settling between her knees, reveling in the feel of her silky softness beneath his hard angles.
Eva rocked her pelvis, moaning as she closed her eyes. “Now. Please.”
Jake caught her chin, forcing her to look at him. “Eva.”
“What?” Her eyes popped open even as she still wriggled trying to get him inside her.
“I just needed to look at you as we did this,” he said, dropping a quick kiss on her lips as he dipped his own hips and slid inside her.
Those beautiful eyes widened as she stared deep into the depths. Then she closed her eyes, tilted her head back and groaned, “Finally.”
And since he felt the same way at that moment, he joined her, lifting his upper body and establishing that age-old rhythm that made everything—bills, homework and global warming—disappear.
There was only Eva and him and freakin’ sweet pleasure.
And all Jake could think about, besides climbing to that earth-shattering peak awaiting him, was how had he not known how perfect Eva was for him.
*
EVA SCREWED HER eyes closed and moved her body in perfect rhythm with Jake. The warm gooey desire she’d felt earlier had simmered into a full rolling boil of heat that consumed her—she felt out of control, fully involved.
She’d envisioned tons of ways Jake could make love to her. In the shower at the station. In her fluffy down bed. In his probably not fluffy but who really cared bed. Against the kitchen counter. On the tailgate of his overzealous truck.
But she’d never imagined she’d actually have sex with the man she’d loved for years…and she damn sure hadn’t envisioned it would be on a bed of prickly grass as the sweet Southern night descended around them.