by Amy Marie
I make her coffee the way she likes it, placing it on the desk and sit back at my own.
“Ryder is sexy, huh?” Noelle asks over the top of her computer. “I’d do him.”
Rubbing my hands around on my temples to ease the onset of a headache I try to push back the jealousy when I envision Noelle and Ryder.
“You have two men to choose from, Noe. You don’t need a third.” I bite back at her.
She notices immediately. “Hmm, I see a hint of the green-eyed monster. Do you pine for this...this Ryder?” Her hand waves around like talking about him isn’t a big deal. She doesn’t know what she is asking.
I try my best to ignore her. She is a great friend but can be very nosy. I should go rearrange the stuff on her desk so the little neat freak has something else to focus on.
An hour later the office doors open and even though it’s not her job, Noelle stands to greet our next client. My eyes go wide with surprise when I realize it’s not them.
In walks a shorter man with a bouquet of red Gerber Daisies that’s so big that it covers his entire torso. They are my absolute favorite. This arrangement is nothing short of the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in a crystal vase with a yellow bow wrapped around it. Very expensive. The man sets the flowers on the reception desk asking for me and she points my way rolling her eyes. The small looking Asian man huffs and picks them up off reception and brings them over.
He doesn’t say a word as I thank him and he walks out. So glad I didn’t have to tip him.
“Lucky bitch,” Noelle murmurs and retreats back to her chair so I can admire them in peace.
I take the card out of the envelope, blushing as I read it.
You only need a little spark to start a forest fire. Call me.
“Who are they from?” Noelle asks tapping her pen down onto her calendar.
I throw the card with his cell phone number watching it float in the air down to my desk and lean back into my chair. “Nobody,” I deflect.
Her eyebrows rise. “Ah, does ‘nobody’ have blond hair or black hair?”
I walk to the back room ignoring her question and lay down on the couch next to the coffee machine. My head falls back, and a view of the popcorn ceiling reminds me of the starry night that seems like it could have been just yesterday.
The heat is thicker than normal for July. The temperature has reached the 110’s but that doesn’t keep anyone away from the Family Fest that Wheeling holds every year. Emie and I are dressed in our bikinis and have a pair of loose jean shorts over the bottoms. This was her idea. She said we needed a man and showing some skin would help.
“Stop looking embarrassed, Hadley,” Emie, obviously annoyed, scolds as I cover up my bare stomach with my arms. “You’re never going to lose your virginity acting like that.”
I let my arms fall to my side and my eyes roll into the back of my head. Emie is adamant about both of us losing our virginity this summer. She says that we need to have experience throughout our senior year so that when we get to college we will know what we’re doing.
I disagree. I want my first time to be in a moment when I can’t think of anything else but giving that one person what my mother has taught me to keep sacred.
My mom isn’t stupid. She has told me plenty of times that she isn’t ignorant to the fact that I most likely will have sex before I get married but has drilled into me that I should be prepared not only physically but mentally.
Just in the distance I spot the spin art tent. It’s my favorite. I used to make them all the time with my dad when I was younger. He would turn the wheel on and watch me throw in all kinds of colors. It amazed me how much art could affect me even then. It always makes me happy.
“Let’s do that!” I point out with one hand and attempt to grab hers with the other. When it comes up empty, I look around finding her and Todd Mitchell within breathing distance of each other.
Barely acknowledging me, she waves as though she wants me to go away. Annoyed, I stomp away from them and zero in on my destination.
The tent is empty, which makes me happy, so I don’t have to wait in line. The man throws a paper plate into the box that has a spinner at the bottom. The plate starts to turn and I spray my favorite color first, red. I swirl it up and down amazed at the lines it makes as it rotates. I do the same with the blue before the man picks it up and hands it to me. I’m not three steps away from the tent when a stone wall hits me, hard, and I fall to the ground.
“Shit!” A guy’s voice yells. “I’m so sorry.”
He pulls back on my upper arms to lift me up and I turn around and gasp when I find Ryder Blake, my longtime crush, with a black eye and busted open lip.
“Are you okay?” I ask grabbing some tissues from the spin art tent and handing them to him.
“Yea.” He chuckles taking them from me. “I’m good. Just talking shit to the BG football players. Next time I’ll make sure to have back up.”
He laughs again but winces when he touches the tissue to his lip.
“I’m sorry.” He repeats running his fingers through his thick black hair with his free hand.
I shake my head. “Don’t worry about it. I’m okay.”
“I’m actually kinda glad I ran into to you,” Ryder says. His blue eyes staring straight into mine, most likely finding the teenage hormone induced lust I feel anytime he is near me.
Embarrassed, I look at my feet as we walk down the small hill towards our cars.
His warm grip covers my arm, turning me towards him, and he lifts my chin up. “Why do you always look down?” he asks as his touch sends electric shockwaves through my body. Ryder does funny things to me. Always has since freshman year. “I love to see your face. Not the top of your head.”
Is he serious? This is one of the most popular kids in school and he is FLIRTING with me. This has to be a joke.
I turn my head away deflecting his half-hearted humor. “Don’t do that.”
His head turns sideways, a curious look crosses his face. “Do what?”
“Flirt with me like you like me,” I angrily say crossing my hands over my exposed stomach.
He can’t like me. Even if we were both poor and not just me. If we were both popular and not just him. None of that would matter because our parents despise, no hate, each other.
Ryder steps closer and all thoughts of standing firm go out the window. He lifts his hands up to cup my jaw. I jump at the start of the fireworks show, but Ryder doesn’t even flinch. His eyes are trained on me, and I have never felt so vulnerable as I do at this moment.
His thumb brushes across my lips and I watch his tongue slide over his own. “I do like you, Hadley. I’ve liked you for years.”
My head falls helplessly into his hands. “What if I don’t like you?” I whisper.
His mouth moves closer to mine. I can’t breathe. I can’t move.
“Not even a little?” His voice is hoarse...so close he is inhaling the same air I am.
“Maybe a little.”
A slow smirk creeps up and he moves within licking distance. “Well, you only need a little spark to start a forest fire.”
Instantly his mouth is on mine. His tongue invading my virgin lips. I’ve never kissed a guy. I worry I’m doing it wrong but he seems to be taking the lead. Pushing and pulling with every breath. I melt into him, fueling the flames, wanting everything he is giving me. His hands never leave my face and the fireworks booming in the background are nothing compared to the ones I’m feeling throughout my body right now.
He pulls away and I step back. My hand flies to my chest trying to calm down the rapid beating.
“Ryder...” I start.
“Where have you been?” A shrill voice belonging to Bridgette Tate, class bitch, asks stepping between the two of us. “Let’s go. I have to be home by curfew.”
With that he is dragged away, watching me as he goes.
The memory of that night still haunts me. I should have pushed him away and remembering Bridgette makes it wor
se. She saw right through it. I jump up from the couch and stomp back into the office. I fall back into my desk chair, ignoring Noe’s annoying stare and the strong scent of the flowers, and get back to work.
Tying up the laces of my sneakers in the police department locker room, I can feel the nervous energy seeping throughout my body. My fingers shake as I wrap one lace around the other and a bead of sweat seeps down my temple. I can run into a house, weapon drawn, no problem but I can’t send flowers to Hadley Chase without freaking the fuck out.
“What’s up, man?” James, my new partner’s hand comes down hard on my shoulder causing me to jump. “You’ve seemed edgy all today. Lady troubles?”
He takes it upon himself to sit across from me on the long wooden bench as I pick up my phone and check it for the one hundredth time in as many minutes.
I wasn’t a big fan of James when I first started. Being a recent transfer to the station, I had to play nice with all the other officers and initially he just rubbed me the wrong way. My first day, three weeks ago, he was the one to–as he calls it–take me under his wing. He seemed like an egomaniac and thought he was God’s gift. I’ve just learned to tolerate him.
“I’m good,” I tell him waving him off.
A chuckle fills the locker room. “Bullshit. Your eyes haven’t left that phone. Every day for three weeks you’ve been ready to take on a new city PD and today you seem more interested in a text than that woman throwing shit off the balcony of her cheating boyfriend’s apartment.”
He’s right. My head isn’t in it today.
I drop my phone down, knowing she must have received the flowers by now and just decided not to call me, and drag my hands down my face. “Not a girl. Not anymore. A woman,” I tell him as I stand and slam the door to my locker shut.
“You’ve been waiting for her to call you all day?” He shoves my shoulder. “Call her. Don’t be a pussy.”
I sigh. “I can’t. I don’t have her number. I have her work number but doesn’t that seem a bit stalkerish?”
The clatter of his stuff being taken out of his locker halts with my words. He shakes his head. “You don’t have her number? How is that possible?”
I throw my head back in defeat. I might as well tell him since I’m pretty sure we’re going to be partners for a while. “A girl from high school. THE girl. The one I thought I would marry. She vanished and left me cold. No word and her parents, man, they hated me, hated my family. They wouldn’t tell me where she went. Then last night I saw her. She was delivered to me on a silver platter and she couldn’t even stand the sight of me.”
“How can some teenage girl just disappear?” he questions.
“I don’t know. It’s not like anyone had a reason to let me know she was leaving. No one knew about us since our families hated each other. We decided to keep it quiet for just a little while and when I finally decided to stand up to them, she was gone. Dropped out of school and didn’t tell anyone where she was going except her parents.”
My eyes slam shut remembering how it felt when I realized she was gone. It was like a knife to the heart. She was the air in my lungs, and after she left I couldn’t breathe anymore. I’m still gasping.
“Anyways, I sent her flowers this morning with my number that she has yet to use.” My head pounds against the metal of the locker. I don’t know what I did for her to hate me this much. “Plus,” I add. “She has a boyfriend.”
“Do you want my advice?” James asks and I look up nodding. Why not? It can’t hurt. “You know where she works. Go see her, and as far as a boyfriend...well she isn’t married...” His words trail off.
He’s right. He’s fucking right. I don’t know when the hell I ever backed down from a challenge.
Collecting the rest of my shit I pat James on the back. “Thanks, man. You’re right.”
“So what’s the name of the girl that has you all strung up?” he asks to my back as I head to the exit.
“Hadley,” I say pushing the door open.
Jumping in my car, I roll the windows down and see James running out towards me, a weird look across his face. “What did you say her name was?”
“Hadley, but you might as well call her Mine.” And with that I speed off towards the only love that I have ever experienced.
~~
The door opens, and I walk into Events Unlimited. It’s not at all what I expected. There are no offices, but only four desks strategically placed so that they are all facing each other but not so close that you don’t have privacy. No one is at reception and I just decide to walk all the way in. I find the large bouquet of flowers on top of a desk that must be Hadley’s.
I slowly walk towards it and stand behind the chair finding her computer still on. The windows are minimized and I find a picture of her and Emie as her screensaver. I’d forgotten all about Emie. She was such a crazy bitch in high school.
“What the hell are you doing here?” An angelic voice, though it sounds like an angry angel right now, asks.
I pull a flower from the vase before turning around and finding a vision that has me going from half-staffed to instantly hard at hearing her voice. Her dark hair is curled and pulled partially up showcasing her blushing cheeks and beautiful eyes. My heart pulls remembering how they looked the night I kissed her for the first time, and it makes me smile.
“Stop smiling!” she yells her hands going to her hips.
I’d love my hands on those hips again. I step closer to her and she stands her ground, her mask of anger fading a little. “I didn’t hear from you,” I say, my voice low as my feet close the distance. “Do you like my flowers?”
I point the one in my hand to the large vase of them and turn back to her. She hasn’t moved a muscle except her hands have dropped and are balled into fists. Her chest moves up and down with each slow and deep breath. Her nipples are perked up, pushing through the fabric of her green V-neck shirt.
I lift my hand but she slaps at it. Even the harsh contact is a turn on. The air has shifted and all I want is to touch her. I extend my arm holding the daisy towards her.
Her eyes watch it get closer. “Don’t touch me, Ryder,” she weakly commands, coming out barely a whisper. Her skin above her cleavage prickles. I can still affect her.
Continuing my torturous journey, the flower finally touches the skin of her wrist above her fisted hand and I draw it, slowly, up her arm, leaving a trail of goose bumps. She doesn’t try to push it off. When I reach her shoulder, I find her eyes closed.
So beautiful.
I lightly drag it over her collarbone and across her exposed neck. I step closer, her breath hitches, and her head falls back slightly. If I wasn’t looking, I wouldn’t have seen it. But I did.
“I’m not touching you, Hadley. Not unless you tell me it’s okay,” I tell her as I step nearer.
Her eyes slowly open, lashes fluttering with the light, and train on mine. “Ryder,” she starts. “Please.”
I move in closer, if that’s possible, and her pupils dilate. I can see the black take over the green and I can’t help but groan. I remember her tells–her pupils dilated, her breaths increased and her fingers spread out every time I turned her on.
I lower my head, bringing my lips closer to her ear. “Please what?” I whisper drawing out the air that blows across her neck.
Her hands hit the wall I didn’t realize I backed her up against and she fastens her bottom lip between her teeth, looking up at me, her eyes begging me to stop.
My free hand moves to the wall, trapping her. “I won’t touch you, Hadley, but I’ll keep pursuing you, boyfriend or not, until you tell me to stop.”
She dips down, escaping me and puts a distance between us. “Ryder.”
“Hadley.”
“Ryder.”
“Hadley.”
She rolls her eyes, snapping out of the haze, and steps towards her desk, gently pushing me aside. As she sits down she starts typing away. “I have to work. You need to go.”
“Tell me to stop, Had. Tell me to go away and I will.”
She doesn’t say a word, she just mindlessly types away on the keyboard.
I grab the back of her chair and without warning I spin her around to face me. Dropping to my knees in front of her, I grab the arms of the chair and pull it towards me. Her eyes go wide in surprise and her knees involuntarily spread, pushing at the denim in her skirt, allowing me to nestle myself between them.
My chest leans in but I don’t dare give her the satisfaction of touching her. “Tell me to stop or tell me to touch you. Pick one, Hadley.”
“I...” she starts but the phone interrupts her. She picks up the receiver. “Events Unlimited. Hadley speaking.”
She eyes me for a moment before pushing back on the chair, rolling herself away. I stand up and listen to her conversation waiting to finish ours.
“Hey!” she says happily. “Nope, I’m just wrapping up...No, someone is still here...yea, I can meet you at my place...I was in the back, Braden, relax...I love you too...Bye.”
Turning back to me, I find an apologetic look on her face. “I think you should go.”
Looking up at the ceiling, I grab the edges of my hair and pull. “Yea.” I blow out a breath as I stand up and start walking towards the door.
There are so many unanswered questions racing through my mind as I near the exit. Why did she leave? Where did she go? Did she even love me?
I’ve wondered long enough.
“I fucking loved you, Hadley.” I spin around to face her. “I loved you and you left me. Abandoned me. I cried. I fucking cried like a chick when you left. How could you be so cold? You didn’t even leave a note! Do you know what you did to me?!” I yell.
She stands from her chair and clasps her hands together, taking a deep breath before unleashing on me. “Did to YOU! Do you know what you did to me? What I went through? I loved you too, Ryder. God! I was willing to risk my family HATING me for loving you and you fucked me over. You hurt me with your words and you can never take that back. Never! I ran because I wanted to follow my dream...and not just be a secret side FUCK to the high school football star!”