Mike resumed his massage. He was flattered that Tara had made this choice, even taken a chance by surprising him. He’d loved his time with Madelynn. She was a sweet, open little girl, completely free of the pollution that clouded so many adults’ souls. Every time he’d looked at her, his heart had skipped a beat, and he’d felt tightness in his chest. That first smile she’d given that was solely for him had nearly stopped his heart. She was part of him, part of Tara. A physical reminder of how hard and fast they’d both fallen so long ago. Mike was ready to fall hard and fast again. He hadn’t known how much he yearned for another chance until he’d looked up and seen them sitting there, like angels of mercy descended from heaven to pull him from the pits of hell.
“I’m back.”
He looked up from his ministrations to see her wheeling in a mound of gifts stacked higher than her head and wobbling dangerously. Instinctively, he moved to help her and had leaned off the edge of the bed to stand before he remembered why that wasn’t a good idea. His heart sank. He should leave them alone. Let them find a man who could stand and walk, who could chase Madelynn and make love to Tara. Mike looked up at her across the room, arranging the presents around the pathetically small tree. Christmas in a fucking psych ward.
Darkness swam in his vision for a moment and then receded. No. No, by God, they were his family, and he was going to fight for them. He’d move mountains to give them the most normal man he could. Mike might never be able to do some things, but no one else could ever love them the way he did. Tara might never give him her heart again, and frankly he wouldn’t blame her. But he was going to try. Either way, he would have Madelynn, and she would have to be enough.
Clearing his throat, he asked, “Did you get them all in one trip?”
“No,” she said, standing up to get more packages. “But there’s only one bag left, and it’s all things Maddie knows about, so I’ll get it on our way up in the morning.”
Mike leaned back in his bed and watched as Tara arranged the packages around the tree. When she was finally satisfied with the results, she stood and pushed his chair back over beside his bed and folded it up.
“I need to get going. Maddie’s probably already asleep, and I’m tired.” She turned to him and gestured to his bed. “I’m sure you’re ready to crash too.”
“Yeah,” he replied. “It’s been a long day.”
Tara nodded awkwardly and started to move toward the door. “Well, I guess we’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Wait.” Mike sat up on the edge of the bed and held out his hand. “Don’t I get a good-night kiss?”
Tara just looked at him, eyes narrowed and lips pressed tightly together.
“Just one, a little one. Come on.” He smiled at her. If he woke up tomorrow to find this was all a dream—which he still considered a possibility—he at least wanted one more kiss before reality set in.
“Just a small one?” she asked suspiciously, moving toward the bed.
“Just a small one.” Mike reached for her, grasped her wrists, and pulled until she was standing directly in front of him. Tugging lightly, he drew her down to him and cupped the back of her head.
“Okay,” she whispered just before their lips met.
His lips moved against hers softly, demanding nothing. Mike nibbled lightly at her mouth and sucked her top lip gently before pulling away without deepening the kiss. He whispered, “Good night, Tara.”
“Good night, Michael.” She straightened, gave him a small smile, and left.
* * * *
Tara picked Maddie up from the daycare where she’d fallen asleep on a nap mat. She took her to the car, struggling a little with her limp weight, but loving the feeling of her daughter’s warm little body pressed against hers. She unlocked the doors and strapped Madelynn into her seat, unable to keep her mind off that kiss. It had been so easy to let go of all her doubts and misgivings and get carried away. Too easy. Tara was going to have to harden her heart and resist him. It was more difficult than she’d thought it would be.
Even before the kiss, she’d felt nothing but admiration for him. Michael pushed himself to the limit and beyond just to be able to spend time with his daughter. It was obvious from the beginning that he was in pain, but he’d endured it with a strength and determination she couldn’t help but admire.
Tara knew that somewhere deep inside there must be a burning anger and bitterness for what he’d lost. But Michael wasn’t letting that rule him. Yes, she thought, he was worthy of admiration. But that didn’t mean it was a good idea to get into another relationship with him right away. The last time she’d gotten involved with him, it had only lasted three months, and nearly six years later he still had the power to hurt her. Tara didn’t know if she would survive this time. But that kiss, oh God, it had been everything she remembered and more. He kissed as if the world had stopped spinning just for them. She’d melted after just a few seconds and given in all over again. Her body still felt overheated and shaky, and the entire interlude had lasted less than five minutes. If he hadn’t lost his balance, Tara grudgingly admitted, she might be flat on her back with her legs in the air right now.
And having the time of your life.
Great, she thought. The little pro-Michael voice was back. She slammed her door closed. That little voice was going to get her in trouble, she thought as she headed toward the exit.
Chapter 13
Tara woke Madelynn up at seven o’clock the next morning. Madelynn, distressed about not leaving milk and cookies for Santa, was uncharacteristically uncooperative.
“Mommy, Santa didn’t leave presents because we forgot to leave him milk and cookies!” she whined as Tara was helping her tie her shoes.
Tara sighed. “I told you, Madelynn. Michael left milk and cookies, and Santa took our presents there. Remember, you wrote him a letter?” Looking around for her purse, Tara continued, “Why don’t you just wait and see when we get there? We’ll look for somewhere to get breakfast on the way there, and we’ll open presents with Michael.”
Madelynn, never a morning person, trudged along behind Tara, grumbling and yawning. Tara asked the desk clerk where she could get breakfast on Christmas morning, and ten minutes later she was on her way to the hospital with take-out boxes from the hotel’s breakfast bar. Traffic was congested getting into the hospital, and she ended up parking at the very back of the lot. By the time they walked across the parking lot and made their way to Michael’s room, the food was ice cold.
Michael was awake when they got there and sitting in his wheelchair watching A Christmas Story on television.
“I love this movie,” Tara said as she placed her armload of packages around the tree. “We watch it every year.”
“We brought you breakfast.” Madelynn said, carefully placing the take-out boxes on Michael’s lap and obviously staring at his left leg, or lack thereof. Tara nudged her softly.
“I see that,” he said, ruffling Madelynn’s hair. “Thank you.” Wheeling himself over to the table, Michael carefully opened the boxes and said, “Why don’t we eat, and then we can see who all those presents are for.” Tara glanced behind her and saw that Madelynn had forgotten his leg and was already sitting by the pile of gifts, shaking them one at a time.
“Maddie,” Tara said, “come eat, honey, then we’ll open presents.”
“But, Mommy,” Madelynn began.
“Maddie,” Tara said sternly. “I said we’ll open presents after we eat. Come on now, before it gets colder than it already is.”
“Okay,” Madelynn mumbled, dragging her feet over to the table.
Madelynn ate her eggs and bacon in record time, her mouth too full to even speak most of the time. Michael watched her shovel food into her mouth, smiling at Tara occasionally and obviously withholding laughter. He ate quickly too, and Tara mentally took note of it. He only did it so that Madelynn wouldn’t have to wait any longer than necessary, and she knew it. He shoved two entire sausage links into his mouth and met Tara’s eye
s as she took a huge bite of bagel. She pictured the three of them shoveling food into their mouths like savages and snorted with laughter. Michael chuckled and then coughed as he choked on his sausage, and Tara giggled over her mouthful of bagel. This was…nice. Better than nice, actually.
Madelynn finished first, chewing and swallowing the last bite as though it was a race. “Done!” she shouted, getting up and running over to the pile of presents that dwarfed the little tree.
Michael closed his box even though he still had a little left to eat, and Tara followed suit. She simply didn’t have the heart to be the cause of the delay.
“Me too,” Michael said, swiping a napkin across his lips and wheeling himself across the room.
“I’m done too.” Tara put the last half of her bagel back into the box and then walked over to crouch by the pile of gifts.
“Open mine first,” Michael said, visibly excited.
Tara sifted through the stacks until she found the small box with Madelynn’s name on it that he’d sent a couple of weeks ago.
“Here Maddie, this is from Michael.” She handed it to Madelynn, who promptly ripped the paper to shreds.
“Oh, Mommy, look! It’s a princess necklace and earrings!” Princess Belle from Beauty and the Beast hung from a thin golden necklace, and matching gold stud earrings completed the set.
“There’s more,” Michael said excitedly. “Look in the bottom of the box.” He was practically vibrating on his chair, and Tara urged Maddie to continue looking through the box.
Madelynn pried the stuffing out of the box and pulled out a small stack of paper. She looked at it briefly, and then handed it to Tara. “Read this, Mommy.”
Taking it from her, Tara opened the small booklet and read. “Annual pass to any Disney theme park…” she trailed off. “Oh, Michael,” she whispered, as tears sprang to her eyes.
“There are three.” he said softly. “I thought you might want to…um, take a friend.” He looked down at them and fidgeted. “There’s one more thing under the passes.”
Tara flipped to the back of the booklet and pulled out a small, pink piece of paper. “Madelynn Marshall, the Disney Princesses cordially invite you to Disney World, Orlando, Florida, in order to be a Princess for a day, on any visit of your choosing. You will receive royal treatment, and spend your day in the park as a real princess.”
“I get to be a princess at Disney World!” Madelynn shouted. Squealing with laughter, she launched herself into Michael’s arms.
Michael wrapped his arms around her and closed his eyes. Tara’s heart squeezed hard in her chest. His expression said he was in heaven; in that moment, Tara clearly saw the man she hoped he was. Opening his eyes, still holding an excited Madelynn, he looked down at Tara, and she hastily wiped away tears. “Is that okay?” he asked softly.
Smiling up at him, she replied, “Michael, it’s more than okay, it’s perfect. I…” Her throat closed off, and she swallowed past the lump to speak. “I don’t know how to thank you.”
Madelynn pulled away from him, her face lit up with a wide grin, and planted a huge kiss on his cheek. “Thank you, Michael!” she shrieked, and jumped off his lap and ran a circle around his wheelchair before throwing herself at Tara.
They opened the rest of the gifts, Madelynn exclaiming with each unwrapped package that she was taking it to Disney World. She got dolls and dresses and even a small gaming system with princess games included.
Michael gave Tara a tennis bracelet with pink stones. She laid it across her wrist and turned it to catch the light, her heart in her throat.
“They’re not diamonds,” Michael said with a half-smile. “The pink diamonds were out of price range for everyone but Donald Trump.” He caught her hand and turned it, fastening the clasp. “Besides, they’re your birthstone. Pink tourmaline.”
Tara looked up at him in surprise as she pulled her hand away. “You remembered.”
He smiled down at her a little sadly and whispered, “Of course I did.”
“Michael, here’s your present!” Madelynn lifted two packages and took them over to him.
Michael smiled down at her and said, “Thank you.” He carefully opened the first one, a small square package. Carefully, he pulled out the box and examined it. It was a watch with the symbol for the Indianapolis Colts on the face. He loved the Colts, had told Tara once that some of his best memories of his father and his short childhood in Indianapolis were going to Colts games and freezing his ass off. She’d searched online until she found it and knew he would like it. At least, she hoped he would. He looked up at Tara, beaming. “You remembered! Thank you!”
Tara smiled and softly repeated his words from earlier, “Of course I did.”
Michael’s smile faded as he looked at her, and Tara was unable to tear her gaze from his. He’d taken what must have been a very scary leap of faith in contacting her, and remembered and listened so that he would be able to get them gifts they would both like when he didn’t have to get them anything. That, more than anything, meant the world to her. Michael’s eyes bored into hers, and for nearly a full minute, they simply looked at each other.
Tara blinked rapidly and then looked away, and the moment was gone.
Clearing her throat to hide the emotions choking her, Tara said, “Open the other one.”
Setting the watch aside, Michael opened the second package and pulled out a soft blue blanket with the Colts symbol in stark white in the center. Laughing, he said, “How did you know I get cold?”
Tara grinned and said, “All hospitals are cold.”
“Do you like it, Michael?” Madelynn asked hopefully.
Michael turned his chair slightly to the side, picked Madelynn up, laid her across his lap, and tickled her. “I love it!” he proclaimed as Madelynn squirmed and giggled. Abruptly he stopped and hugged her tightly. “Thank you, munchkin. It’s perfect.”
Madelynn pulled away and said, “You’re welcome.” She planted a wet kiss on his cheek and jumped off his lap. Tara brushed a stray tear from her eye again.
When all of the gifts had been opened and wrapping paper covered the floor, Tara went in search of a trash bag to clean up. One of the nurses gave her one, a clear, industrial-sized bag that was typical of hospitals. When Tara got back to the room, Michael and Madelynn were sitting at the table working on one of the puzzles Madelynn had gotten from her grandma. He turned as she walked into the room.
“Maddie, why don’t we help your mom pick up all this paper.” He rumpled her hair as she stood and rolled himself slowly around the room, picking up anything he could reach.
When all the paper was picked up, Madelynn went back to her puzzle, and Tara put the bag by the door for housekeeping to pick up later. Turning to Michael, she pushed her hair out of her eyes and smiled softly at him.
“Thanks for letting us do this here.”
He shook his head and said, “No, Tara. Thank you for coming here, for letting me be a part of it. I…” He broke off and looked toward the window. “It’s hard, you know? Not to go into a downward spiral. But you guys, well, you’re the reason I don’t. And this, all of it, made me realize how much I want to get out of here.”
Tara nodded and looked at Madelynn, anywhere but the intensity of his gaze. She knew they were his reason for working so hard, but it was hard being the only reason someone had to keep living.
“Tara?” he asked softly. “Are you all right?”
She sighed and looked back at him, smiling. “Yeah, Michael. I’m fine.” Her reservations could wait. He didn’t need to have to worry about them now. She would work on it after he was completely recovered.
They ate lunch in the cafeteria, the special Christmas dishes carefully prepared by the staff and served by active duty soldiers volunteering their time for the wounded veterans. Tara choked back tears at the end of the serving line when the soldier in his dress uniform saluted Michael and thanked him for his service.
Because Michael was still having trouble cop
ing with loud noises and crowds, they took their meals up to his room to eat. Their conversation was limited to Madelynn chatting about her gifts and her trip to Disney World. Michael commented that the food probably tasted better than normal because he was sharing it with what he called the “two most beautiful ladies on the face of the Earth.” Madelynn giggled at that, spitting out a mouthful of turkey. When they were done, they stacked the trays to be picked up by the cafeteria’s cleaning cart.
Chapter 14
Madelynn normally took her nap immediately after lunch, and despite the special circumstances, Tara didn’t want to interrupt an otherwise normal routine. After trying unsuccessfully to get Madelynn to lie down in Michael’s bed, Tara decided to take her downstairs to the daycare to take her nap there. She dropped Madelynn off in the nap area, and seeing that she’d chosen a blue nap mat, Tara left instructions for them to call her in Michael’s room when Madelynn woke up. She walked slowly back to his room, contemplating what the safest topic of conversation should be. She knew as soon as they were alone, Michael would turn the conversation to the subject of their relationship. She wasn’t sure yet what kind of relationship she wanted with him, so it seemed safest to simply focus on Madelynn. Michael’s door was closed when she got there, so she knocked to make sure she wasn’t interrupting anything.
“Come in.” His voice was muffled from behind the door. She opened the door to find him reclining on his bed, his good leg swinging over one side.
“Close the door, please.” She closed it softly and turned back to him. “Lock it.”
Tara opened her mouth, stammered for a moment, and then said, “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Michael.”
He folded his hands together and said, “I don’t want anyone barging in on what we’re going to talk about.”
Tara swallowed nervously and turned to lock the door quickly. Moving to the chair by the window, she said, “Michael, I think I know what you want to talk about, and I’m not ready for this conversation.”
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