by Lori Wick
“Where are your people, Eliza?” Sabrina asked.
“Redmond, almost to Billings.”
“How long have you been gone?”
“A long time.”
“Were you a working girl there?”
“No.” Her voice became thoughtful as she remembered. “I followed my man. His name was Lem Hawkes. He had dreams of finding copper, lots of it.”
“What happened to him?”
“He was killed at the mine, penniless, and I was a long way from home.”
“Is your family still in Redmond?”
“My father is. I got a letter from him last year.” Eliza looked down in the basket. “He doesn’t know about Mirabel.”
“When Mirabel gets back on her feet, you’ve got to go back. He’ll be pleased to know he’s a grandpa.”
150 Eliza didn’t answer. She just looked back down at the baby. Sabrina could hardly stand it. She glanced around and spotted the bowl of soup.
“Here,” Sabrina said, taking the bowl, finding a spoon, and handing it to the other woman. “You won’t be able to feed Mirabel if you don’t eat.”
The other woman took the spoon in hand. Sabrina watched her, and while Eliza ate the soup, begged God for help. Only a few minutes passed before, very quietly, she began to tell Eliza her story.
151
“THISIS LOOKING GOOD,” Chas said to Rylan when he got there on
Wednesday to help with the paint. Philip Leffers was working on some trim on the far side, but for the moment, the two men were alone.
“It’s coming along,” Rylan agreed. “I don’t know how many more days I can get from Pete, so I’m glad it’s going fast. I have to work tomorrow to fill in for today.”
“Is he still trying to sell the livery to you?”
“Yes, mostly when he’s been drinking, but I know he’s still serious.”
“It’s too bad you don’t have a half dozen strapping big sons to help you run the place. That would make it a light load.”
“I think you forget that I’m 26. It’s not possible for me to have any strapping big sons.”
“Nonsense,” Chas teased. “With your size, they’ll be strapping big sons by the time they’re five.”
Rylan laughed. He was used to comments about his size, and in truth it never bothered him. But lately he wondered if a certain woman would even consider marrying a man as big as he was.
“How is it going with Bri?”
152
“I was just thinking about her,” Rylan admitted. “How does a man find out if a woman would welcome his interest?”
“That’s a good question. It’s a little different for each woman. I don’t want to be cryptic, but I think you’ll know.”
Rylan nodded, the paintbrush still moving.
“I was watching her on Sunday,” Chas said. “You were talking about the miracle of the resurrection, and her eyes were filled with wonder. And then afterward, she took Nellie in her arms, and when Heidi wanted attention, she pulled her close as well. It was pretty special to see.”
Rylan shook his head. “I can’t even look at her when I preach. She lets her guard down completely in church, and I can read every look of wonder, hope, and conviction.”
Philip joined the other men just then, so they dropped the topic, but Rylan knew that Chas would get back to him. He was that kind of friend.
“Guess what,” Jeanette said when Sabrina got to work on Thursday.
“What?”
“We’re all caught up, and I think you can take a day off.” “Oh,” Sabrina said. “Are you sure?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Are they painting today?” Sabrina questioned, and Jeanette was thankful she’d checked. She took in the fatigue on the younger woman’s face and knew she was doing the right thing.
“No, they’re not. I was thinking you might want to rent a buggy from the livery and head out to see Cassidy. She told me you had a great time last Sunday.”
Sabrina stared at her. Such a thing never occurred to her, but it would be fun indeed.
“I’ve never done that before.”
153 “It’s not hard. Cassie used to go and visit Meg every Wednesday. Pete or Rylan will set you up with a rig, and Holden Ranch is straight out of town on the left. You can’t miss it. As soon as you get going it will all be familiar.”
Sabrina didn’t know what to say, but then Jeanette didn’t need her to comment. She saw her to the door and watched her move down the street, a satisfied smile on her face.
Rylan had not made it to the forge yet. He had cleaned a few stalls and spent time trying to calm a frightened mare who was trying to kick her way out of the box. He had to shoe her before the day was out, and he wasn’t exactly thrilled with the prospect.
He wondered afterward how long she’d been standing there but didn’t ask. Sabrina had come in the door, much as before, and stood over by the three-and six-cent hooks.
“Hello,” Rylan said, headed that way.
“I’m here to rent a rig,” Sabrina said, not quite believing it herself.
“Is that right?” Rylan said, just fighting a smile and wondering how anyone could manage to look so confident and uncertain at the same time. Not to mention beautiful. The light blue dress she was wearing was not something he’d seen before.
“I’m going to see Cassidy.”
“That’ll be fun. Have you driven a buggy before?”
“Not for a long time.”
“I think I have just the right one.”
“I don’t want the horse to run away with me,” Sabrina said, not willing to take for granted he would know this.
“I don’t think that will happen,” Rylan said, already planning to send Candy. She would be calm even if her tail were on fire. “Jeanette said Cassidy used to do this.”
“Every week.”
154 Sabrina made herself stop talking then. She was a bit panicked about it all and wondered if she shouldn’t just go and see Heather and Becky. Rylan had not actually done anything yet. It wasn’t too late to change her mind.
“I’m not sure,” she started, and Rylan stopped. He’d been pulling the rig out into the wide alley between the stalls but set it down and came back to her.
“About driving the rig?”
“Yes, and Cassidy is not expecting me. I don’t even know if she’s home.”
Rylan almost said he was certain she was, but he made himself walk to the door. He looked up and down the street and smiled when he saw the wagon.
“I think you might find someone from the ranch at the mercantile. Why don’t you check there, and then you can ride out with whoever is going home.”
Sabrina looked down the street the way Rylan had, but she didn’t see anything in particular. She already felt foolish for bothering him and didn’t want to ask what he’d seen.
“Do I owe anything for your time?” she asked instead.
“Five dollars,” Rylan said, his face utterly serious, and a laugh escaped Sabrina before she could stop it.
Rylan’s own smile appeared before he spoke again.
“Will you do me a favor? Stop back and let me know if you need the rig.”
“Certainly I will, and thank you, Pastor Rylan.”
“You can do me another favor while you’re at it, and just call me Rylan.”
“Oh,” Sabrina said. “What do I call you now?”
“Pastor Rylan.”
“And you call me Sabrina, don’t you?”
“Um hm.”
“But everyone else calls me Bri.”
“I think I’ve noticed that.”
155 “Why is that?”
Rylan didn’t answer. He stepped out in front of the livery and shouted, “Cassie! Hold up a minute.”
Cassidy brought the wagon to a halt and waited when Rylan waved to her. The livery man went back to the lady waiting behind him. “Are you going to tell her you want to come to the ranch, or am
I?”
“N
o, I can ask,” Sabrina said, but she didn’t sound very certain. Rylan walked with her to the wagon and greeted his old friend. “You’re in town early, Cass.”
“Aren’t I, though,” she agreed with a grin. “How are you, Bri?” “I’m fine. Are you very busy today, Cassidy?”
“Nothing out of the ordinary,” Cassidy said and then caught on. “Are you free to come out?”
“I am. I was just about to rent a rig, but I wasn’t sure I could drive it.”
“I used to do that every week when I visited Meg,” Cassidy said, smiling at the memory.
“Oh,” Sabrina had a sudden thought, “if I don’t rent a rig, someone will have to bring me back to town.”
“What time do you want to come back?” Rylan asked before Cassidy could volunteer.
“After supper, Ry,” Cassidy put in, “and you come out and join us.”
“Thank you, Cassie. I’ll plan on that.”
Before Sabrina knew it, she was in Cassidy’s wagon and going with her to finish her errands in town. She was halfway to the ranch before she remembered that Rylan had not told her why he called her Sabrina.
I have to take a nap had been Cassidy’s words after dinner. Trace had gone back out to work, and she had explained that everyone
156 told her to baby herself on this first child. After the first one was born, you always had someone else to take care of and not always time for a nap.
Sabrina did not mind the time alone. Cassidy had already showed her the stream that ran through the property, and with a blanket in hand she was headed down there to relax and dip her feet into the water. It was wonderful to take her stockings off; the air felt good; and when she put her feet into the water, it chilled her but was worth it.
Sabrina looked around the ranch, the Bitterroot Mountains all around, and wished for her Bible. But that only lasted a few minutes. Rylan had been urging them to think on Scripture, to know it, and have it always with them in their hearts.
Sabrina thought about Exodus. She had been reading in that book for a few days and was amazed at Moses’ path to God. She had never heard any of this before and was awed at the way God worked. A verse came to mind from chapter 3. Sabrina did not know it by heart, but words came back to her about God being with Moses and bringing him to serve God on a mountain.
So many years ago, so many faithful servants for years, Lord. I feel small and insignificant, but You use each one of us where You will. You have a plan for me. Pastor Rylan… Sabrina stopped and smiled. Rylan keeps telling me that, and I can see it now. There is so much I don’t know. Help my heart to keep learning. I grow anxious when I think that Crystal and Eliza will never accept You and believe, but I can’t control the time. Only You know their paths.
Sabrina realized she had some repenting to do. She had been anxious. She had wanted to be in control and to be the one to “save” each woman she met. It was remarkably freeing and gave her a tremendous amount of peace to give it over to God. It was even freeing for her to realize how foolish she was for thinking she could compete with God.
Sabrina was still in the midst of these thoughts when she looked up to see Cassidy coming her way.
157 “Couldn’t you sleep?” Sabrina called to her.
Cassidy laughed. “It’s been almost two hours.”
Sabrina didn’t know how that could be possible.
“It’s like that out here,” Cassidy said, joining her on the blanket. “Time ceases to exist. I love it.”
“I can see why you would.”
“Did you sleep?” Cassidy asked.
“I had too much on my mind.”
“Something in particular?”
“One of my neighbors has a baby who’s sick. She let Pastor Rylan pray with her for the first time the other night. I’m hoping she’ll want to hear more and the baby will be all right.”
“What’s her name? I’ll pray for her too.”
“The mother is Eliza and the baby is Mirabel.”
“I like the baby’s name.”
“It’s pretty, isn’t it?”
“Yes. Is there a father?”
Some of Jeanette’s words came back about Sabrina living in a bad part of town. Cassidy had been concerned when she heard, but now she was fascinated.
“Where is the father?”
“I don’t know if she knows who the father is. She’s a prostitute.” “And she’s your neighbor?” Cassidy asking, hoping she had kept
the surprise from her voice. She didn’t know what she thought the
“bad part of town” meant, but this wasn’t it.
“Yes. I was looking for cheap rent, and that put me on Willow Street.”
“And you’re staying there?”
“I’m planning on it. I would move if something nicer opened up that I could afford, but most days I’m too busy to look. Tell me something,” Sabrina said before Cassidy could form another question. “Did Jeanette tell me that you opened Token Creek Apparel?”
“Yes.”
158 “What was that like, starting your own business? Did the bank loan you money?”
“My mother gave me the money to start, so that was a tremendous help. I knew I could sew well enough to make a living, but in truth I didn’t know if Token Creek would support it. They did obviously, but it was a risk.”
Sabrina nodded, looking fascinated.
“Are you interested in starting a business?”
“I don’t do anything well enough to try. And I don’t mind working for Jeanette and Jessie. I admire Jessie-she does an amazing job-but I would hate to have to raise my girls in a store.”
“She is amazing. She told me one time that it’s her dream to build a home someday, but there’s never any time. The store takes it all.”
“Have you ever talked about what she believes? It’s never come up, and I don’t want to ask her.”
“Did you know that Jeb is her cousin?”
“He told me.”
“He and Jessie have talked about God for years, and she has a lot of respect for Jeb and Rylan, but she doesn’t think she needs church or the Bible. She thinks she’s a good person on her own.”
Sabrina had a new thought. There was one great advantage to knowing prostitutes. They never argued that they were fine. They might not want to hear what you have to say, but it wasn’t because any of them thought they were sinless.
“Well, now,” Trace said loudly enough to warn them, having caught sight of Sabrina’s bare feet. “This looks fun.”
By the time Trace made the blanket, Sabrina had managed to tuck her stockings away and get her feet under the hem of her skirt. Trace sank down and kissed his wife and then asked the ladies about their day.
“How late is it?” Cassidy suddenly asked.
“It’s suppertime, I think. At least that’s what my stomach thinks.”
Cassidy pressed him and found out it wasn’t that late, but she still
159 rose and started for the house. Trace went with her, and Sabrina said she would be along shortly.
She had just gotten her stockings and shoes back into place and the blanket folded when she saw Rylan coming up in a buggy. She hadn’t expected him this early but thought it was nice he could get away. It took his stepping out of the wagon and walking slowly toward her for her to realize he’d not come with good news.
Sabrina could not stop trembling. Not in her wildest dreams did she picture herself standing in the cemetery next to the tiniest casket she’d ever seen. Mirabel had died in the afternoon the day before. Crystal had come for Rylan, who had gone to Eliza and prayed with her. He had stayed as long as she wanted, Crystal hovering in the background all the while. When it seemed he should leave, he’d headed to the ranch for Sabrina.
Sabrina had not cried, and Rylan had not pressed her to talk about it on the way back to town. He’d taken her to Eliza’s and watched as she’d silently gone in and sat with the stunned mother.
Now the small group of mourners stood in the cemetery at
the edge of town. Rylan looked over the group. Doctor Ertz had come, and Sabrina, but outside of that, these were the outcasts of the community. Saloon owners and workers, prostitutes and some of the men who visited them, stood around the small grave. Rylan hadn’t been asked to say anything, but when eyes kept turning to him, he went to Eliza and checked with her.
“Do you want me to say anything, Eliza? Maybe what we talked about yesterday?”
Eliza nodded, and Rylan stepped back a little to address the group.
“Thank you for coming. Eliza and I talked about some things yesterday, and I’d like to share those thoughts with you. I don’t have my Bible with me, but I can tell you that God treasures babies like
160 Mirabel. It says in Psalms that we are knit together in our mother’s womb, and for that reason, I know God watches over infants and little ones.
“For those of us who grow old enough to know what choices are, we all have to face what we’re going to do with God’s Son, Jesus Christ. But for little ones like Mirabel, God understands they can’t choose or reject Him. And God is a just and loving God. He would never condemn such a small life away from Him. For this reason, I believe Mirabel is with God right now. Not because of who she is, but because of who He is. I take comfort in that.
“I hope that anyone who doubts they will spend eternity with God will not wait another day to take care of that. Mirabel’s time was done, and we will grieve her, but we don’t have to grieve without hope.” Rylan paused for just a moment before adding, “If anyone wants to know any more about the things I’ve said, I hope you’ll come to me.”
Folks started to wander off, some with a word to Eliza. Sabrina stayed at her side, not wanting to talk to anyone but not sure she should leave. She glanced up and spotted Zeke in the distance, and all thoughts about staying silent deserted her.
“Zeke is here,” Sabrina said, not mincing words. “You deserve better than that, Eliza. Go home to Redmond. Go home to your father. You won’t have to work like this anymore. Leave Token Creek and this life behind you. And keep searching for God,” Sabrina added, her throat threatening to close. “Don’t ever give up until you find Him.”