by Maggie Cox
‘You said you wanted to hear the full story about Marc...’
He took an unsteady breath.
‘Anyway...’ Coiling some hair round her ear, she went on. ‘Seeing him again made me determined to tell you the truth about him and our time together.’
‘What do you mean by that? Are you going to tell me you’ve realised that it’s him you want and not me?’
Her expression was genuinely shocked. ‘How could you even think such a thing? Does what we’ve shared and the fact that we’re having a baby mean nothing to you? Do you think that all along I’ve been pretending that I want to be with you?’
Shaking his head, he felt his heart sink like a stone. ‘Right now I don’t know what to think.’
Lily’s gaze was intense. ‘I want to tell you about Marc because you and I are about to get married, Bastian, and I don’t want anything detrimental from my past hanging over me. I want to clear the air. I want you to know the full story of our relationship.’
‘You’d better tell me, then.’
Clearing her throat, she twisted her hands together.
‘I was twenty-six when I met him, and up until then I hadn’t had even one proper relationship. I’d steered clear because I was wary of commitment. I didn’t exactly have a good example from my parents, since they were always arguing and unhappy, and I didn’t want to be in a similar relationship. Marc said he was attracted to me right from the start and, encouraged by my friend whose husband worked with him, I thought, Why not go on a few dates and get to know him? I’d been on my own for a long time, and when I wasn’t illustrating books I was faced with the fact that I had no one in my life to help me enjoy it...
‘Well, to cut a long story short, I started to enjoy his company. He was very good to me, and he knew how to cheer me up when I was down. I began to look forward to our dates, and when he asked me to marry him I thought it would be a good idea. At least I wouldn’t be alone any more, and I’d have his support when I needed it as he would have mine. We went ahead and married. But then I found out something that I hadn’t expected, and my hopes for a better future disintegrated before my eyes.’
‘Was he cheating on you? Seeing someone else?’
Lily shrugged, and her silken hair unravelled from behind her ear and fell across her cheek.
‘I don’t know about that, but it’s what he revealed to me on our wedding night that made our union destined to fail. Marc is gay. He’s interested in men—not women.’
For what seemed like a long time words deserted Bastian. Of all the things he might have imagined, that hadn’t even remotely entered his head.
Unable to sit still, he got up to pace the floor for a few seconds. Then, spearing a hand through his thick dark hair, he stopped in front of his companion and angrily shook his head.
‘What the hell was he playing at? You mean to tell me he left it until you were married and on your wedding night to reveal this?’
‘Yes, he did.’
Briefly he saw a disconsolate flash of pain cross the incandescent green irises.
‘At the time I was truly shocked that he could be so selfish and marry me regardless. But afterwards I felt like I’d betrayed myself for not listening to my intuition.’
‘You mean you suspected the truth about his preferences earlier on?’
She nodded. ‘I did. But I convinced myself I was just imagining it.’
‘You weren’t to blame. It’s clear that he knew what he was doing when he tricked you into marrying him. He took appalling advantage of you. You should have rung the police and reported him straight away!’
Her glance was perplexed. ‘How would that have helped? I can just hear their question now: Did he coerce or threaten you into marrying him? I’d have had to say no. I walked into it with my eyes wide open.’
Now it was her turn to shake her head.
‘After the wedding night that didn’t happen he made me a deal. He said that if I stayed and acted like a devoted wife—accompanied him to corporate dinners and made out that I supported his drive for success—he would be more likely to get promotions than if he was single, because the powers-that-be were surprisingly old-fashioned in their views. In turn he would support me financially. I had nowhere else to go, so what else could I do but accept his offer? I’d given up my flat-share and burnt all my bridges. I knew if I stayed with him that at least I’d have a base from which to work.’
‘And so you stayed with him for nearly a year after his revelation?’
Bastian knew Lily must hear the disappointment in his tone because he saw her flinch.
‘I’m not proud of that. Can you imagine how humiliating it was for me? Living with a man who didn’t desire me and who had used my situation to better his own? But the fact was he knew his behaviour had hurt me and he tried to make things more bearable in any way he could.’
‘How? By giving you nice things and impressing you with what his money could buy?’
She made a sound of distress, feeling as if she might die of pain and embarrassment right there.
‘Do you really think I could be that shallow, Bastian?’
Swallowing hard, he knew his glance was fierce. ‘No, I don’t. But it makes me mad when I think of what that man must have put you through.’
‘Anyway, I knew what I had to do. I came up with a plan to free myself. Along with the payments I received for my illustrations, I put some of the money he insisted on giving me for housekeeping and clothes into a savings account, with a view to moving abroad as soon as I could. I thought I would put my foolish mistake behind me and start over again somewhere new. Even then I was thinking about going to Italy...’
‘So you told him you wanted a divorce?’
‘Strangely enough, he beat me to it. He’d met someone, you see, and he told me it was serious. He wanted the guy to move in with him and said he was quite happy to bring our arrangement to an end. He offered to make me a settlement but I refused. I’d saved enough to support myself for a while, and I didn’t want to be beholden to him in any way. However, at the last minute he insisted on writing me a cheque—to tide me over, he said, until I got back on my feet.’
She stood up, giving Bastian a forlorn glance that he didn’t immediately understand.
‘I’m sure you must think I’m an idiot for not taking him for all I could get. But...’
The beseeching look in her eyes nearly undid him. And then he realised why she seemed so sad. Her next words confirmed it.
‘But I’m just not like that. I can’t be something I’m not, and I won’t be cruel to someone just because they’ve hurt me. You probably think I’m too soft-hearted for my own good, and no doubt you’re right.’
‘You’re making a lot of assumptions about what I think, Lily. None of which are true. I like and accept you just the way you are. If you were any different, it’s likely we wouldn’t be together.’
Reaching the end of his declaration, he didn’t hesitate to take her into his arms. Gazing down into the moist emerald eyes that stared back at him, he tenderly smoothed back her hair and smiled.
‘From what you’ve said I can tell that the man must have been conflicted—although that doesn’t mean he should have done what he did. I’m glad I told him to stay away from you. But he’s your past, tesoro, and I am your present—and, I trust, your future. Forget him. He was nothing more than a passing black cloud on a sunny day.’
‘How do you have the innate ability to make me believe that everything will be all right?’ she murmured.
‘I have it because I care about you, and I don’t want our baby’s mother to doubt herself.’
‘I see. Then I’ll make sure to try and be more confident when the baby comes.’
‘Trying suggests effort, Lily. You don’t have to be any different from who you are right now. You just need to forgive yourself for what yo
u judge to be your mistakes. That will help you more than anything.’
‘Hmm... Well, on that note, I think it’s time for me to go upstairs and finish my unpacking.’
She deftly extricated herself from his embrace and before he could stop her moved nimbly up the stairs. In a few short seconds she’d disappeared into the bedroom.
Her revelations about her marriage to Marc had left Bastian reeling. Was he at fault in persuading her to marry him when she might not want that at all? He hoped that wasn’t the case.
Relieved that at least she’d told him about life with her ex at last, Bastian was gratified that he could now focus on their wedding without any more suspicions that she might go back to the man.
* * *
She was ‘fashionably late’, as he’d heard a couple of guests in the congregation murmur.
Bastian was beginning to despise the phrase. ‘Fashionably’ should be replaced with torturously, as far as he was concerned.
His hand slid down the back of his stiffened shirt collar to loosen it. Even in the cool confines of the stone church it was surely as hot as Hades?
‘It will be all right son,’ his father reassured him smilingly—looking especially handsome today in an impressive tuxedo, and still recovering well from his heart scare. ‘I’m sure it’s just that her mother and her bridesmaids want to make sure she looks perfect for her special day.’
‘Lily always looks perfect.’
‘I agree,’ Alberto replied. ‘But you know how women like to fuss.’
Lowering his voice, Bastian said fervently, ‘She’s not just any woman...she’s my heart and my soul-mate.’
The older man wiped some moisture from his eyes. ‘That’s just the way I felt about your mother all those years ago...’
His son was squeezing his hand in empathy when the classical guitarist positioned at the front of the church started to play the opening chords of the bride’s processional music. The notes rang out as crisp and clear as crystal in the vaulted church.
Father and son turned together. And as he set eyes on his bride in her wedding finery for the very first time Bastian gasped under his breath. The intensity of his feelings for this exquisite woman could only be described by his heart and not his head, he knew. Yet her exclusively designed off-the-shoulder gown in elegant taupe and white silk organza rendered her as lovely as a fairy princess from a mythical tale.
The sweeping skirt barely hinted at her condition, but it didn’t matter to him one iota what people might think about it. He was certain of one thing: every man in the church must secretly envy his good fortune.
At the wedding breakfast afterwards he would bid his guests to raise their glasses to the most beautiful and gracious woman in the world: his wife, Lily Carrera.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
THEY DIDN’T HAVE their honeymoon immediately, because they couldn’t decide where they wanted to go.
Lily had professed that she didn’t mind where they went—it was the company that was important, not the scenery. But it was important to him. They might not have started off in the traditional way, but it was important to get this right. He wanted Lily to have the perfect honeymoon—the one she’d so obviously missed out on the first time round.
Though he’d come to accept that Lily’s feelings for her ex were dead and buried, Bastian still felt great shock and sadness for what she’d been through. He wanted to make sure that their marriage started out in the best way possible, in order to fully erase the pain of the past from Lily’s consciousness.
In the end he told Lily to leave the destination to him. The idea had suddenly come to him to book them into a luxurious hotel he knew that was discreet and comfortable and where they wouldn’t be disturbed. The hotel was about six miles from the Adriatic Coast, and it was highly regarded by his wealthy compatriots. Its menu and wine list were superb, and it had every facility even the most discerning client could desire.
Satisfied with these arrangements, he was just thinking about collecting Lily from the rental house, where she still preferred to work on her illustrations and stories, when someone rapped on the front door.
His stomach somersaulted. Had Lily decided to turn up unannounced and surprise him? The pleasure the thought gave him couldn’t be measured.
But when he opened the door it wasn’t his beautiful elfin wife who stood there, but an attractive woman of around thirty or so, with fashionably cut chestnut hair and a face that was strangely familiar.
At the same time as her crimson lips formed a hesitant smile he registered with shock that it was Marissa!
‘Bastian! I was hoping I’d find you here. I asked a couple of locals in town who know you, and they told me you had a place up here in the hills. Then I remembered how you’d always said that one day you were going to build a house here. What was that name you were going to call it? Can you remind me?’
Her words had come out in a hurried gush, and he sensed that she was unusually nervous.
Over a suddenly dry throat he managed a reply of sorts. ‘I didn’t expect to see you ever again, Marissa. I’d heard rumours that you’d moved to America. What brings you here?’
‘Yes, I did move to the States. But I came back to revisit my past, and to remind myself of a time when I was much happier.’
There was a telling break in her voice and her dark eyes didn’t disguise her emotion. Even so, Bastian couldn’t help but feel it was all an act. They had a turbulent history together and he hadn’t forgotten how she could be.
‘Can I come in for a few minutes?’ she asked.
‘I don’t think that would be a good idea, do you?’
As soon as the question was out of his mouth he knew he shouldn’t have asked her.
‘Please, Bastian.’
All his instincts urged him to say no. But being with Lily had to some degree softened his nature, and made him more apt to be forgiving than he’d used to be. After all, what was the point in bearing a grudge any more? He and this brunette had both been so young back then—surely they were no longer the same people? In particular, he hoped that the unexpected twists and turns and the vagaries of life would have helped his ex-girlfriend to grow up at last, whichever way her path had taken her.
‘Okay...but it can’t be for very long,’ he answered. ‘I have to see someone important.’
Holding the door wide for her to enter, he watched as she stepped into the hall and—as was her habit of old—deposited her indubitably impractical high-heeled sandals on the mat.
Marissa had never been much of a walker. and if it was a choice between following fashion or being practical, fashion won out every time.
Endeavouring to set his bittersweet memories of the past firmly aside, Bastian squared his shoulders, closed the door and guided her into the living room.
* * *
Lily was just loading the washing machine in her rented home with some of the clothing she wanted to take on honeymoon when there was a definite sensation of the baby moving in her belly. If she’d had to describe it she’d have said it felt as if it were practising acrobatics!
Breathing out a wondering gasp, she laid her palm against her tightened abdomen and felt the infant do a couple more turns. Nothing could have prepared her for the experience. It was just incredible.
There was no doubt in her mind that she should drive up to Buona Stella and tell Bastian about the occurrence immediately.
Deciding not to tell him she was on her way, she thought she would instead surprise him...
Excitement sustained her spirits during the drive there, but her buoyant mood immediately fled when she arrived and saw the vehicle that was parked outside the house. She wondered who the flashy red sports car belonged to.
Chewing worriedly on her lip, she parked her small and decidedly non-flashy little car quite a bit further away from the house, near a bank of
tall cypress trees, and turned off the ignition. It disturbed her much more than she liked, seeing the other vehicle there.
Drawing in a steadying breath, she got out of the car and walked back to the house. Nothing moved in the still, sultry air as she crept up to the nearest window and stole a peek inside.
Just when she’d decided to go round the back and see if Bastian was with his guest in the kitchen, she saw her husband enter the living room with an attractive dark-haired woman. The look on both their faces was intense. Even as Lily’s stunned gaze drank in the scene the woman turned towards Bastian and, without the slightest preamble, put her arms round his neck and kissed him passionately.
Everything inside Lily suddenly went terrifyingly still, and her ability to think at all utterly fled. As her heart started to thud heavily every nerve and sinew she possessed felt as if it was crying out in pain. Please God, he can’t be having an affair, can he?
But even as the devastating idea entered her mind she was turning away from the scene. She tore back down the hill to her car and started to drive away too fast, scalding tears streaming down her face at the realisation that the man she loved was cheating on her.
Inside the house, Bastian had straight away disengaged himself from the distasteful woman who’d so unceremoniously grabbed him and kissed him. With his face clenching in annoyance, and without the remotest suggestion of politeness, he set Marissa aside as though she was something contagious.
‘Don’t touch me ever again,’ he warned her, stepping away from her.
‘Why? Is it because you’re scared you might want me again? I’ll bet your new woman doesn’t satisfy you like I can.’
‘My “new woman” is my wife, and she is a hundred times more woman than you can ever be, Marissa—and far more beautiful. I feel sorry for you that you can so easily delude yourself.’
Beyond furious, Marissa let loose a passionate invective, shouting that she couldn’t believe he’d be so stupid as to rebuff her attentions. Just who did he think he was?
Following another heated exchange, she turned on her heel and stomped out through the front door to her ostentatious motor car.