"Aw, go on," Miss Annie said. Marvin's words so flustered the older woman that Shay doubted that she knew she was twisting the strap on her black patent-leather pocketbook into a knot.
Miss Edie pointed to her sister. "Sister makes the best potato salad in town. Every time there's a cookout, she's asked to bring the potato salad."
"And sister," Miss Annie said, "always brings the sweet potato custard." She leaned closer to the couple. "We hid one in the kitchen for you, along with some other goodies. We didn't want the other guests to eat it all up."
"Thank you, Miss Annie," Shay said, joining in the conspiratorial whispering.
"Come on, sister," Miss Edie said, hiking her matching patent-leather pocketbook higher up her arm. "We'd better get home. It's getting dark, and you know I don't like to drive at night."
Shay managed a smile at Marvin over the ladies' heads as they escorted the couple to their nondescript four-door Ford sedan.
"Are you two going to be all right?" Marvin asked, leaning against the open passenger side door. "I can drive you home."
"We'll be fine." Miss Annie snapped her seat belt fastened. "Sister drives better than she lets on. I'm the one who has problems seeing at night. Now you young people go on back inside. You must be tired."
Shay and Marvin stood in the driveway and waved until the ladies were out of sight. "They're wonderful, aren't they?" Shay said. The women reminded her of some of the older women back home, women whose counsel she could use right now.
Marvin feathered a kiss to the top of her head. "Yes, they're wonderful, but nowhere near as wonderful as you," he said, guiding her back toward the house.
Daniel met them as they turned the corner. "Look," he said, rubbing his hands up and down the thighs of his pants, "I'm calling it a night. I'm going with Deac to take the tables back, and then he'll drop me off at home."
"We don't want to put you out, Daniel." Shay placed her hand on his arm. "You've given us a car, you've given up your house. You don't have to do all of that. There's plenty of room here for the three of us."
Daniel shook his head. "No way. It's all arranged. I'm moving in with Marcus; you'll meet him tomorrow. He has a big house, and he can use the help with the mortgage."
"Are you sure, man?" Marvin asked. "Shay's right. There's more than enough room for all of us."
Daniel looked from one of his friends to the other. "Let's not debate this again, okay? It's set. I've already moved my stuff out, and I'm settled in the new place. Now," he said to Shay, "give me a hug so I can hit the road."
"I love you, Daniel," she said when she gave him the embrace he requested.
When he stepped back, Daniel pinched her nose. "You'd better."
"There you go, flirting with my wife again," Marvin said, leaning in to give Daniel an embrace as well. "Thanks for everything, man."
Daniel turned to the few remaining guests. "Hey, everybody, I'm about to hit the road, and I wanted to thank you for all your hard work today. You did a great job." He glanced back at Shay and Marvin. "And I think the Taylors appreciate it."
Shay and Marvin assured the well-wishers they did, and soon the last remaining guests were all packed off and the couple was alone. Instead of leading her into the house as Shay had expected, Marvin led her back around the house to the patio, where the only signs of the cookout were the glowing embers on the grill.
Marvin took a seat on the rose-patterned chaise and pulled her down next to him. "What's on your mind?" he asked.
Shay peered up at him. She didn't know why she was surprised he'd picked up on her mood. She hoped their guests hadn't. "Am I that obvious?"
"Only to me," he said, understanding her worry. "I doubt if anyone else noticed anything out of the ordinary." When she didn't answer his question, he prodded, "Tell me."
Shay continued to look at him, wondering if she should tell him what was on her heart. Wondering, too, how he would react if she did. She remembered his less than enthusiastic response when she'd opened the topic last night.
"Tell me," he said again, more forcefully this time. He must have read the uncertainty in her eyes. "We've been through too much to start keeping secrets from each other. You're always asking me to trust you with my feelings. Now I'm asking the same of you. Tell me."
"I'm not pregnant," she said, squeezing his hand for support. "I had hoped we'd start our new adventure with a new life growing inside me, but it doesn't look like we will." She began to cry the tears she'd held inside all day. "I don't know what's wrong with me. I knew yesterday that I wasn't pregnant, and I thought this sadness had passed. Last night I was all optimistic again, but this morning I woke up and the sadness just consumed me."
"Don't do this to yourself, Shay," Marvin said, exhaling deeply. He smoothed loving caresses across her shoulders and upper back. "The doctors—"
Shay began shaking her head, not wanting to hear any negative comments. "The doctors never said we couldn't have more children. They never said that."
"We tried for four years, Shay," Marvin reasoned. He continued to stroke her shoulders. "Four years before we decided that God knew better than we did."
Shay still shook her head. "It's not like that, Marvin. Things change. Maybe the timing wasn't right then. I just feel—"
Marvin dropped his hand from her shoulder and looked away from her. "Instead of asking for more, why can't you be happy with what we have? Are you so unhappy with only the two of us?"
Shay moved around so she could see his face. "Don't even think that, Marvin. Of course, I'm happy. You know I'm happy, but I want a baby. I feel God is going to give us one, and every month I wonder if this month is the month."
"I wish you would stop wanting more," he said again. His eyes were shuttered now, denying her access to the emotions she'd gotten so good at reading in them. "We already have more than many people ever have. Let's be content and count our blessings."
"I'm counting my blessings," Shay said. But I'm also looking for my miracle, she added silently, feeling optimistic once again and ready to get back on the emotional roller coaster that had become her most frequent ride. Marvin wasn't ready to believe for a baby yet, and she thought she well understood his reasons. How could he dare hope for something so wonderful to happen to them? If he did, he'd experience the same disappointment she experienced every month when she learned she wasn't pregnant. Marvin didn't want to put himself through that agony, and she couldn't much blame him. It was hard to endure. She understood her husband too well to let his fear dampen her spirits. She was confident that as soon as she became pregnant he'd be as happy about it as she was.
With that settled in her mind, Shay yawned. It had been a long day, and suddenly she was very tired.
"Ready for bed?" Marvin asked, eager, she knew, to end their current line of conversation.
Shay nodded, and Marvin led her back into the house for their second night in their new home.
* * *
Marvin lay awake long after Shay had fallen asleep. Yesterday, when she had mentioned wanting another child, Marvin had thought the idea was a new one germinating in her mind. Tonight, he realized the idea was fully formed in her mind and in her heart. Not only did she want another child, she was hoping expectantly every month that she was pregnant. He wondered when this desire had sprung up and how he had missed it all this time.
He'd tried to let Shay know, without coming right out and saying it, that he didn't want another child—not now, maybe not ever—but in her own Shay-like manner, she wasn't hearing him. His optimistic and ever hopeful wife was only hearing what she wanted to hear, and he was too big a coward to come right out and speak the truthful words he knew would break her heart.
It didn't really matter, he told himself. Shay couldn't have any more kids. Why break her heart by making her face his true feelings when he really didn't have to? He never again wanted to see a look of disappointment and hurt in her eyes and know he had put it there. Besides, if they'd tried for four years and nothing ha
d happened, then nothing would happen now.
Then again, he thought, his wife was so sure. Lord, he prayed silently, deciding it best not to take any chances, I know Shay wants a baby, but I'm not ready for one yet. I'm just not ready, and I don't know when I'll be ready. I don't want her hurt, but Lord, I'm not praying for a miracle baby. I'm content with the life you've given Shay and me. Please make her content with it as well.
* * *
The next morning, after sharing an early breakfast of rice with gravy and chicken and biscuits at a family-owned restaurant behind the Wal-Mart shopping center, Daniel drove Shay and Marvin to church in time for Sunday school—or Fulfillment Hour, as they called it. The church, a long A-frame brick structure with a steepled front, had parking in front and on both sides and a large park area with picnic tables out back. Two young men, conservatively dressed in black suits with white shirts and black ties, directed the early-morning arrivals to available parking near the front of the building.
Two similarly dressed men greeted the parishioners as they made their way up the church steps and past the white columns that guarded the concrete porch. "Good morning and God bless," one young man said to Shay while shaking her hand and giving her a big smile. The other one greeted Marvin the same way.
Daniel got what Shay suspected was his regular greeting. "Morning, Pastor Dan," both men said, a tinge of humor in their voices.
Shay smiled because Daniel had told them over breakfast how his parishioners teased him about taking on the pastor's job permanently, while he wanted to keep his interim status.
Daniel quickly introduced the two men. One was his new roommate, Marcus. He seemed to be about the same size as Daniel, maybe a little bit lighter in complexion, and he wore wire-rimmed glasses that gave him a somewhat nerdy, though still appealing, look.
"Come on," Daniel said to Marvin and Shay, ignoring Marcus's good-natured "Have a good day, Pastor Dan."
"I'll show you to your class, and then I have to stop by my office for a few minutes. Don't forget, we're having dinner for the outreach volunteers served here at the church immediately after morning service."
Shay nodded. She followed Daniel and Marvin through the burgundy-carpeted vestibule, off to the stairway on the left, and down to the basement, a big open area bounded by small rooms along three sides, and what Shay suspected was a kitchen along the far side. She guessed the open area was used for community and church meetings as well as for meals.
"Vickie leads this class," Daniel explained, directing them to the third door along the right wall. "She should be here pretty soon. Are you two going to be all right?"
"We'll be fine, Pastor Dan," Shay said, unable to pass up an opportunity to tease her friend. "Now go do what you have to do, and we'll take care of ourselves."
Marvin pushed Daniel on the shoulder and urged him toward the door. "She's right. Leave."
Just as Daniel began to laugh, a couple a little older than Marvin and Shay entered the room. "Great timing," Daniel said. He quickly introduced Franklin and Evelyn McCoy and left the two couples to get to know each other.
"We're sorry we missed the cookout yesterday," the petite Evelyn McCoy said, "but our oldest boy had a track meet out of town and we didn't get back until late, much too late to go visiting."
"We understand," Shay said. "We hadn't expected anything as grand as the cookout. It was all rather humbling."
Evelyn flashed a bright smile that reminded Shay a little of her friend Anna Mae back in Atlanta.
"Good," Evelyn said. "That's a sign we're doing our jobs."
"How'd your son do in the track meet?" Marvin asked Franklin, causing Shay to turn her attention to him. She found his question encouraging. She could remember a time when painful memories would have made her husband avoid topics related to children, especially male children. His quiet inquiry reassured her that Marvin would indeed be happy when she became pregnant, despite his resistance to the idea now.
"The kid's a great runner," Franklin answered, his face lit up with a two-hundred-watt smile. He was short for a man, no more than an inch or two taller than his wife. "Do you know much about track?"
Marvin nodded, and the two men engaged more deeply in a discussion of the younger McCoy's track career.
Evelyn gave Shay a look of exaggerated pity. "Marvin shouldn't have asked. Most people here know about Franklin and have learned to steer the conversation in another direction when he starts talking about the kids. Believe it or not, he's just as bad when he talks about our twin daughters. Dance prodigies, he calls them. And they're only second-graders."
Shay laughed softly. Despite Evelyn's words, Shay could feel the joy the woman got from her husband's pride in their children.
Evelyn added, "Our saving grace is that Sunday school starts soon and Vickie will make him stop."
As more people entered the classroom, Evelyn introduced them to Shay and Marvin, and invariably the men joined in the track conversation while the women lovingly rolled their eyes at the male segregation. Then a woman asked Evelyn about her baby, causing a sharp pinch around Shay's heart. She looked on Evelyn with new eyes.
"We left him with his grandmother yesterday, but we're picking him up after service today." Evelyn turned to Shay. "I'm going to miss the outreach dinner, but I'll be back in time for the meeting afterward. I tried to get Franklin to stop and pick up the baby last night when we got back from the track meet, but he wouldn't hear of it." She pouted and said in a babyish, singsong voice, "I miss my little sweetheart."
There was no time to pursue a conversation about the baby as Vickie rushed into the room. "Sorry I'm late," she said, with a special glance at Shay and Marvin. She quickly called the class to order, and soon everyone was fully engaged in the morning's Bible study. Vickie was an effective teacher who deftly directed the students' attention back to the Scriptures when they veered off on tangential topics. All in all, Shay thought it was a good study, and she looked forward to attending the class again.
As they were preparing to leave the class, Vickie said, "I thought we could sit together if you don't have other plans."
That seemed like a very good suggestion to Shay, and she nodded agreement to Marvin's "Lead the way."
They followed Vickie into the sanctuary, stopping periodically to greet people they'd met at the cookout. They finally stopped at a pew in the middle aisle of the sanctuary's three aisles. Vickie entered first, and Marvin stood back and allowed Shay to precede him into the row.
Shay was about to ask Vickie about the morning's class, but another couple stopped by to introduce themselves. Soon, she and Marvin were on the receiving end of a steady stream of welcomes that only ceased when the deacons, led by Greg, came to the front of the church and started the devotional segment of the morning service.
In no time at all, Shay felt right at home. The service reminded her of the services at their church in Atlanta. When Daniel, a black ministerial robe now covering his navy suit, took to the pulpit and began his sermon for the morning, Shay turned to Marvin and whispered, "I don't remember him being this powerful a preacher."
Marvin nodded. "He's something, isn't he?"
Shay didn't answer, but instead directed her attention back to the morning's message. Daniel preached from the book of Matthew on the parable of the talents, with the very appropriate topic, "Use it or lose it." Shay's soul was lightened as the words ministered to her heart. She'd known it, but Daniel's sermon confirmed it. She and Marvin were going to have a baby. Soon.
* * *
Use it or lose it. Marvin rolled the words around in his mind: Use it or lose it. How true those words were. As he listened to Daniel proclaim and explain the Scriptures, Marvin accepted this morning's sermon as the confirmation he knew it to be. He and Shay had had their reservations about coming to Odessa, but those reservations had been reduced to negligible before they had decided to make the move. This morning's sermon erased any remaining concerns and niggling doubts Marvin had. Daniel's message perfec
tly drove home the truth that the surest way to lose any gift or talent from God was to not use it. Lack of use leads to loss.
Marvin wasn't about to lose anything else, not if he could help it. He'd squandered away the first ministerial opportunity he'd been given, but he wasn't going to let that happen again. He was too grateful for what God had done for him—and for Shay—to ever go down that road again.
He squeezed his wife's hand and prayed she was hearing the same message he was hearing. The only baby they should be thinking about now was the baby ministry they were joining.
Chapter 3
Shay sat quietly and listened to the arguments and counterarguments, pros and cons, advantages and disadvantages being tossed back and forth across the three dinner tables used by the twenty or so volunteers and would-be volunteers who'd expressed interest in working on the Genesis House project.
"Some of the kids down there need more help than we can give them. I think we're asking for trouble," came one opinion.
"If we don't help, who will?" came another.
"You may be right," yet another volunteer confessed, "and I hate to admit this, but some of those people scare me. I mean, really scare me. I want to do this outreach thing, but I don't know if I can."
"None of us can do it by ourselves," Marvin threw in, "but together, with God's help and guidance, we can do everything he wants us to do."
At that point, Daniel stood and said, "I think it's time we get started with the agenda for the afternoon. Why don't we reassemble in the far corner over there?" He pointed to an area of the basement where metal folding chairs were already arranged in three semicircular rows. "That way, the kitchen staff can get their work done and go home."
The sound of chairs scraping against the concrete floor preceded the group's move to the far side of the basement. Daniel stood in front of the first row of chairs, while Shay and Marvin positioned themselves in two chairs on the front row directly in front of him. Everybody else filled in around them. As usual, the first row had the fewest people.
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