Vickie studied her for several long moments, and Shay knew her friend was praying for guidance. Shay prayed too, because she needed Vickie. "I'm not going to withdraw," Vickie said. "I'm going to pray about this, and then I'm going to follow what I believe God wants me to do."
Relief flooded Shay's body. "I can accept that," she said. "Now let's walk."
* * *
Marvin studied the clock on his desk. Almost seven. He'd hidden out all day, using work as an excuse to come to the office on Saturday and more work as an excuse to not go home and face his next conversation with Shay. He had wanted to tell her she was wrong this morning when she'd told him her reasons for asking Vickie to act as her labor coach, but he hadn't been able to make a case, not even to himself. So instead of pursuing the conversation, he'd placed a chaste kiss on her forehead and left for his office at the church. Now it was time to face the music.
"Knock, knock."
Marvin glanced up from the scattered papers on his desk. "Hey, man," he said to Daniel, "what brings you by so late on a Saturday?"
Daniel strolled fully into the room, his hands in the pockets of his pants. "What you're doing here so late is the real question." He dropped down in a chair. "Why aren't you at home with your lovely wife? Things are still good with you two, aren't they?"
Marvin wiped his hand down his face. "Let's just say it looks like they're getting worse before they get better."
Daniel leaned forward, his eyes full of concern. "What happened? From the celebration last night, I thought all was well between you."
"Nothing for you to worry about."
"Don't give me that, Marvin. I let you do it for too long as it is. So talk. I assume you and Shay had another argument."
Marvin leaned back in his chair, shrugging nonchalantly. "How'd you guess?" he asked, not expecting a reply to his sarcastic comment.
"Vic read me the riot act earlier this afternoon when I told her I'd mentioned to you about her coaching for you and Shay," Daniel said. "She gets excitable at times, so I couldn't tell if she was overreacting. I thought you knew about Vic's role, and you didn't say anything when I mentioned it to you."
"I didn't know," he said.
"Help me out here," Daniel said. "I still don't see how this is a major problem."
Marvin rubbed his hands down his face again. "Shay asked Vickie to be her labor coach because she's not sure she can depend on me to be there for her and the baby. She's not too happy with the way I've handled the pregnancy thus far. She accused me of withholding myself and my love from her and the baby."
"Whew," Daniel said, leaning back in his chair. "It's bad, but I don't see how it's that bad."
Marvin lifted a brow at what he considered his friend's gross understatement. "I don't see how it could get any worse, Daniel. My wife doesn't have any confidence in me. She doesn't think I'll be there for her and our baby. Tell me how it can get any worse."
"Well, um... maybe it is pretty bad. So what are you going to do about it?"
Marvin leaned forward and rested his arms on the desk. "What can I do but prove her wrong?"
"And how do you plan to do that?"
"By showing her she can depend on me. By being the husband she's wanted me to be since the start of this pregnancy."
"Do you think you can?"
Marvin opened his arms and sighed. "I don't have a choice, man. She's my wife and that's my kid. I don't have a choice. I guess that's something else you can pray about—that Shay acts with reason about this. I'm not going to press her because she's pregnant and I don't want to stress her out, but she needs to understand that I did what I did... behaved the way I did about the baby... because I thought it was the best thing to do. I'm not sure I'd do it any differently if we had to do it over."
Daniel was slow to speak. "I hope you don't plan to tell her that," he said. "Maybe you should try seeing her side of it."
Marvin tossed aside Daniel's suggestion with a shake of his head. "I know what her side of it is. Shay has no concept of things not turning out exactly the way she wants. You'd think Marvin Jr.'s death would have taught her something, but I'm not sure it did. I had to be cautious about this pregnancy because Shay certainly wasn't. I don't think our marriage can handle another situation where we're both blindsided and devastated. One of us has to be able to pick up the pieces for the other. In this pregnancy, that somebody is me."
"You really think that's what this is all about?"
Hearing and ignoring the obvious skepticism in Daniel's question, Marvin answered, "I know it is."
"What if it's about something else?"
Marvin knew where Daniel was headed, and he was determined not to let him get there. "It's not."
"It could be. It could be about trusting God."
Marvin leaned back in his chair again. "You can trust God and be cautious at the same time. You know that as well as I do. We trusted God for a building for Genesis House, but we still went through the proper legal procedures. We had the house inspected, and we talked to the appropriate professionals before we signed on the dotted line. We believed God wanted that particular building for us, but that didn't stop us from being cautious about the deal."
"Looks like you've got it all figured out," Daniel said, standing up. He pointed to his head. "Up here." He pointed to his heart. "But what about in here, Marvin?" He turned and walked away without waiting for Marvin's response.
Chapter 16
Shay closed her Bible. She'd been reading off and on since she'd gotten back from her walk with Vickie. Vickie's questions were making her rethink her attitudes about her husband and his response to their pregnancy—not only the coaching matter, but her overall reaction to her husband since their first-trimester doctor's visit, and maybe even before then. Why can't I accept him at his word, Lord? she cried out in her heart. But even as her heart cried, her head signaled her an answer. Because you're afraid he's going to let you down again, and you're afraid of what will happen to your marriage if he does.
Shay didn't know what was happening to her, but she knew it wasn't good. Anger and hurt had been too close to her these days, had been too close since the first evening she'd told Marvin about the baby. The early resentment she felt toward her husband's relationship with Bo now seemed to be replaced by resentment toward Marvin for the positive change in his attitude since the last doctor's visit. This latter resentment intensified each time Marvin pulled her into his arms and made some loving comment about their baby. Exactly what did she want from him? she asked herself. Was her husband in a no-win situation of her own making?
She pushed aside those thoughts and considered trying to pull something together for dinner. As she stood in her kitchen doorway, she changed her mind. She didn't want to cook. She'd have to convince Marvin to go for takeout. She placed her hand on her slightly protruding belly. Maybe her stomach could take some Chinese tonight.
She turned when she heard what she suspected was Marvin's car. A quick glance out the window told her she was right. Instead of going to meet him, she merely turned in the doorway to the kitchen so he would see her when he entered the house.
Her eyes zeroed in on his hands. He held fresh flowers in one and a baker's box in the other. A loving smile on his face, he strode toward her in that lanky walk she loved so much and planted a big kiss on her lips. "Hello, sweetheart," he said, handing her the flowers. "These are for you. Pretty flowers for a pretty lady." Then he rubbed her tummy and said, "Hey, baby, how you doing in there today?"
Shay felt tears well up in her eyes. How she loved this man, and he was breaking her heart. She moved away from him, had to move away. "The flowers are beautiful, Marvin," she said, inhaling the sweet aroma of the blooms. "Thank you. I'd better put them in water." She didn't miss the question that quickly rose in his eyes, but she didn't want to answer it "What's in the box?" She opened the cabinet and removed a clear crystal vase.
Marvin's eyes cleared, and he smiled. He placed the box on the counter. "Surprise."
"Another one? Is this a special occasion?"
He walked up behind her, put his arms around her waist, and rubbed his large hands across her stomach. "You don't remember?"
She looked back over her shoulder. He answered the question in her eyes with a kiss. "It's always a special occasion when a man comes home to his beautiful and pregnant wife. Every day with you is a special occasion, love."
Shay dropped the flowers on the counter and turned in her husband's embrace. "I love you, Marvin," she said, tears filling her voice. "I love you so much."
Marvin held her tighter, and she reveled in the safety she felt in his arms. "I know you do, babe," he said. "But not as much as I love you."
She pulled back. He wiped her tears with his fingertips. "Wanna bet?"
He grinned. "No need. There's no way you could win."
Shay pressed a hand against her husband's cheek and wished their exchanged words of love made everything right with them, but they didn't. Not for her. She loved her husband, but she still wasn't ready to trust him. She stepped out of his embrace and turned back to the flowers. "I haven't cooked," she said. "How do you feel about picking up some takeout?"
"I have a better idea," he said when she turned to him, vase in hand. She wasn't sure where to put the flowers. For the time being, she placed them on the table.
"Sounds intriguing," she said. "What's this idea?"
"I'm going to cook dinner for you. Nothing fancy, mind you, but I think I can whip up a little sump'n sump'n."
She grinned. "I'm sure you can."
He gave her a quick peck on the lips. "That's my girl. Now why don't you get out of here and give a man some room. I've got business to take care of."
Smiling and heading for the kitchen door, Shay said, "You don't have to tell me twice. Call me when it's ready. I'll put my feet up for a while like a real woman of leisure."
* * *
Marvin poured Shay another glass of water with lime, her drink of choice now that she was pregnant. He'd prepared a simple meal of broiled snapper and green bean casserole, a dish Shay had taught him to prepare, rounded out with a side Caesar salad. All of this on a table set simply with the flowers he'd given her as the centerpiece.
"Ahhh," Shay said, as she ate the last of her green bean casserole. "That was delicious."
"And we're not finished yet. Are you ready for dessert?" He had a very special bakery surprise, the perfect end to a perfect meal. He was determined to win back his wife's trust. While he knew a few home-cooked meals weren't going to do the job, he wanted to reassure her that he was trying.
He got up to clear the table. When Shay moved to help him, he said, "Don't move. This is my party." Then he winked at her and took the dishes into the kitchen.
After settling the dishes in the dishwasher, Marvin opened the bakery box and pulled out a chocolate cheesecake, Shay's favorite. He placed it on the same silver tray she'd used when she first told him they were going to have a baby. Armed with the tray, matches, and two candles, he headed back to his wife. "Here we go, Lord," he murmured.
Shay raised eyes wide with surprise to him when he placed the tray on the table before her. "For me?"
"Who else?" He sat down across from her, picked up a candle, and lit it. "This first candle is for you for being the wonderful wife you are," he said as he placed the candle on the cheesecake, his gaze holding hers. "And the second one is for our child that you're carrying." He placed the second candle on the cheesecake, never taking his eyes away from hers. "I love you both very much."
Marvin watched her eyes light with tears, and his heart swelled with joy. Thank you, Lord, he prayed silently. Thank you for this woman, this child, our family. He reached over and placed his hand atop hers—now resting on the table before her—and still keeping his eyes on her, he said, "I thank God for you, Shay. I never thought I'd have the life the Lord has given me with you. There have been times when I've thought I wasn't worthy of you, but there has never been a time when I haven't wanted you in my life. I love you, and I look forward to spending the rest of my life with you and our child."
* * *
A soft kiss on her tummy and her husband's muttered, "Morning, son... or daughter... I love you," greeted Shay the next morning. She enjoyed the quiet intimacy for a moment before opening her eyes to her smiling husband. "Morning, wife," he said, punctuating his words with a kiss on her nose.
Her smile came naturally as she looked at him and remembered the evening he'd given her last night. Her heart swelled with love for him. She knew they had crossed some threshold last night, that some major healing had occurred in their relationship. It didn't take any great wisdom to know Marvin felt it too. His eyes told her so this morning. They were so full of love, hope, and... there was something else... yearning, maybe?
Shay lowered her lashes as she realized what her husband wanted. He wanted her to tell him that last night had fixed everything. He wanted to know the love he'd demonstrated had healed the place in her heart that feared she couldn't depend on him. Though the healing process had begun, she wasn't ready to give him the answer he wanted. As if he read her thoughts, he pressed a soft kiss against her lips and said, "That's all right. I love you, and I have all the time in the world for you to realize you can always count on me."
She raised her lashes then and looked at him again. She knew her eyes reflected her inner conflict. Why couldn't she cross the line from skepticism to trust? What was holding her back? When no answers came, she lifted her hand to her husband's face, loving the feel of his warm skin against her palm. "Last night you said that sometimes you felt you didn't deserve me. Well, this morning I'm feeling a little bit of that myself."
He kissed her palm. "Good. I like to keep my women on their toes."
"Women?" she asked, a brow arched.
Giving her tummy a light pat, he hopped out of bed. "Okay, woman."
"That's more like it," she said, a joyful smile on her face as she watched him pad to the bathroom to begin his Sunday-morning ritual in preparation for church.
* * *
Marvin entered the church behind Shay, refreshed and renewed in his determination to win his wife back. The rain had altered the plans for his surprise picnic after the worship service, but he was thinking that a quiet rainy afternoon alone with the woman he loved would have its advantages, too. He was already considering the possibilities.
His eyes made contact with Miss Edie as soon as he entered the church. She'd entered the vestibule, apparently having come from downstairs. He smiled and followed Shay over to give the older woman a light embrace.
"It's so good to see you two," Miss Edie said. "Sister and I want to thank you for what you've done... what you're doing... for Bo."
"Not a problem, Miss Edie," Shay said. "We both care about him."
"We sure do," Marvin tossed in. "And we've missed seeing him around lately."
"He's working double shifts at the factory," Miss Edie told them. "Says he needs the money. You know young folks."
Marvin took the news as positive. He hoped Bo's additional hours were to save money for college.
"Me and Sister have been praying for that boy and praying for that boy," Miss Edie was saying. "We figure you two must be the answer to our prayers. We know we're old ladies, and the boy needs young people he can relate to."
Marvin's heart expanded at her words. "Like I said, we like him, and we know God has great things in store for him if Bo gives him a chance."
Miss Edie nodded. "He sure does, and Bo'll figure that out before we know it. We just got to keep praying. He's here this morning. Guilt brought him, but it's a start." She chuckled. "Me and Sister poured it on something fierce."
The ushers opened the door then, and Miss Edie turned. "You two have to come over for dinner one day soon. Sister and I would love to have you." She winked. "And I'll send Bo by with another sweet potato custard soon."
* * *
When the service was over, Shay looked around for Bo. She'd spotted him e
arlier and wanted to make sure she spoke to him before she left. "Do you see Bo?" she asked her husband.
Marvin directed her out of the pew and toward the back of the church, greeting the few remaining people they hadn't already greeted. "I saw him earlier," Marvin said, his hand on the small of her back. "He may have left already."
"I was afraid you were going to say that," she said, her heart sinking with disappointment. "I wanted to speak with him. It's been a long time since we've talked."
Marvin rubbed one of his hands down her arm. "Don't worry so much about it. He came to church. He's fine. You heard what Miss Edie said. He's working longer hours. Probably to save money for college."
Shay wasn't too sure. Something in her spirit told her it was more. Then again, maybe the guilt she felt because of her earlier resentment of Marvin's relationship with the boy was working overtime.
Marvin nudged her side. "Don't worry so much," he repeated. "Bo's fine. Besides, you'll see him Friday afternoon when we have a second go-around on the basketball court."
Shay nodded, feeling a bit better at that news. "I had forgotten."
Marvin tapped his middle finger against her nose, flashing her one of those dazzling smiles that made her feel like a cherished wife. "Well, now that you know, you can take that frown off your pretty face. I have plans for you."
She smiled up at him, her heart racing. "Plans for me?"
He ran a long finger down her cheek. "Well, actually, I have plans for me. They just include you."
"Sounds intriguing."
He kissed her briefly on her lips. "Will you put yourself in my hands?" At her furrowed brow, he added, "For the afternoon."
She shook her head. "Forever."
He kissed her again. "You certainly know how to answer a man's questions. Now you wait here while I bring the car around. We can't have you getting wet." With another brief kiss, he left her on the church porch while he sprinted to their car, a big grin on his face.
* * *
Shay stood staring after her husband, wondering what plans he had in store for her. Last night's dinner had been so romantic. She wondered what he'd do to top it. He pulled the car around and hopped out to get her, armed with the umbrella. After they were seated in the car, she asked, "So where are we going?"
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