"She's going to be all right?" Marvin asked, needing reassurance again.
The doctor folded his arms across his midsection. "She's going to be fine. She's resting comfortably, and we'd like for her to continue doing so for a while. If she doesn't wake up on her own in the next three to four hours, we'll wake her. Head injuries are tricky, so we don't want to take any chances." He dropped his arms to his side. "We're getting a bed ready for her in the OB ward, but you can go sit with her now."
Marvin turned to Vickie. "Go ahead," she said, squeezing his hand as if trying to give him some of her strength. "I need to make some calls anyway."
"I forgot," he said on his way to Shay's room. "Daniel's probably out in the other waiting room. Will you let him know what's going on?"
Vickie nodded. "I'll take care of it. Now you get in there with Shay and let her know we all love her and we're praying for her."
Marvin tipped his head before hurrying back to the examination room. He forced his emotions to remain in check as he looked down on the woman he loved. Needing to touch her again, he pulled one of her soft, smooth hands into his. When he did, his emotional restraint vanished, and he began to weep.
Shay's hand tightened on his, and he looked down at her face. Her eyes were still closed but her lips moved ever so slightly, and he heard a faint mumbling of words. When her lips turned in a sweet smile, Marvin knew she sought to ease his fears. Oh, how he loved this woman. He didn't deserve her. He knew he didn't. And he could have lost her and their baby. That truth flooded his mind even as tears flooded his eyes, and memories—recent and not so recent—of the life he and Shay shared crowded his mind and consumed his thoughts. They'd shared times of great happiness, and times of deep sadness. He gladly embraced the happy thoughts and found himself unable to deny the sad ones.
Marvin Jr. How he'd loved that child!
His resistance low, Marvin was unable to apply his usual control. The grief he had managed to keep at bay for fear it would consume him found its way to the surface. For the first time, he opened up and allowed himself to grieve for the son who'd been taken from him four years ago. In that grief he saw the man he had become during those four years. Then he grieved for himself and the fear that had held him captive since his son's death.
Two hours later, while Shay still slept, Marvin dried his tears. Relief flooded him: his pain reservoir did have a bottom. His expression of grief had not destroyed him. Instead, it had refreshed him, made him better able to see himself and the situations around him. He looked on his sleeping wife and considered the wrong he'd done to her and their baby. He'd arrived in Odessa with two simple goals: to please God in his life and ministry and to make his wife happy. He'd failed on both counts.
There was nothing he could do to change his past behavior, but he could set his future off on a new path. Thank you, Lord, he prayed, his heart now clear before God. Please forgive me for my fear, for trusting in situations instead of trusting in you. Thank you for the wife and child you've given me. Please keep them safe. I see now that they're your gifts to me, and I'm going to cherish them and love them for as long as you allow. Amen.
Though he didn't want to leave Shay, Marvin knew he had an important task to complete. He released his wife's hand and placed it next to her side. Then he pressed his lips against her forehead and patted his hand across her tummy. "I love you both," he whispered.
He turned and left the room, heading for the visitors' lounge. Vickie, Daniel, and to his surprise, Bo, met him as he entered the visitors' area. "I have to leave," he said to Vickie. "Will you sit with Shay while I'm gone?"
"But-"
"Do this for me, Vickie," he pleaded, taking her hand. "I have to leave."
Vickie nodded, though reluctantly, and headed for Shay's room.
"What's going on, man?" Daniel asked, his face full of concern. "You need to be with Shay."
Marvin shook his head. He knew what he had to do. "Not now. I have to do something else, and I need you—" he inclined his head to include Bo in the request—"to help me. Will you?"
Bo nodded without question or thought, but Daniel studied Marvin for a long second. Marvin knew his friend had more than a few questions. He was relieved when Daniel nodded, held his questions, and followed him out of the hospital, Bo right behind them.
Chapter 20
Shay awakened an hour or so after Marvin left the hospital. As soon as she opened her eyes, she asked for him.
Vickie came to stand over the bed, and Shay could see her face without much effort. "He'll be back, Shay," she told her. "He had to run an errand."
"Run an errand." Even in her groggy state, Shay knew something was wrong with that answer. "Oh," she said. "I see."
"He'll be back."
Shay didn't say anything, but her thoughts swirled. Marvin couldn't handle it. He thought something bad was going to happen, and he couldn't handle it. Or maybe... Pressing her hands possessively across her stomach, she lifted her gaze to Vickie. "My baby?" She recalled the fall and her ambulance ride to the hospital.
Vickie brushed Shay's hair back off her face and smiled. "The baby's fine. You're fine." She chuckled, though Shay thought it sounded forced. "But I'll admit, you had us pretty concerned for a while there."
"You're sure my baby is all right?"
"I'm positive," Vickie assured her. "You're both fine. The doctor will tell you the same thing as soon as he gets here. I've already pressed the call button."
The doctor rushed in then, as if on cue. "You're finally awake," he said, smiling. Shay knew then that Vickie had been telling her the truth. As the doctor examined her, Shay grew tired. She wanted Marvin. She needed Marvin. That was her last thought before she fell back to sleep.
* * *
When Shay awakened the next time, she was in a different room and Marvin was in a chair next to her bed, the yellow stuffed animal he'd gotten for the baby on his lap. His head rested against the back of the chair, and his eyes were closed. She thought he was asleep.
As she watched him, her heart filled with love. This was her husband. Good or bad, he was hers and, right now, she couldn't think of any reason to trade him. He was here. He hadn't left her, and she knew he never would. She guessed she'd always known it. She'd just been afraid to let herself believe it, unsure she would recover if he let her down again.
She knew now that she had to trust him and trust God to help him fill the role God had given him in her life. She had other people around her she could call on when she needed them, but she would never again tell her husband she didn't believe in him. She would never again use her friends as a buffer between her and her husband, as she'd done when she'd asked Vickie to be her backup coach. She'd betrayed both Marvin and Vickie with that request. They deserved much better than she'd given them.
"Marvin," she whispered, needing to hear his voice. His eyes immediately shot open, and he sat forward in his chair so quickly the stuffed animal fell to the floor. He picked it up and rushed to lean over the bed rail.
"Hi, Sleeping Beauty," he said with a teary smile. "I've been waiting for you to wake up."
"You should have kissed me," she said, loving the texture of his strong hand when he picked up one of hers and caressed it. "That's what the prince is supposed to do."
A tear slid down his cheek. "I'm not a prince. I'm not even a very good husband."
She shook her head so hard her neck hurt. "Don't talk about my husband," she said. "I love him and he's perfect."
"Not perfect. Nowhere near."
"Perfect enough for me. Perfect for me. That's all that matters." He lowered the rail, leaned over, and rested his head against her shoulder. "I'm so sorry, Shay," he said. "I've been such a fool. About God's love for me. About my love for the baby. About everything. Can you ever forgive me?"
She rubbed her hand over his head in a soft caress. "Of course, I forgive you. The question is, will you forgive me?"
He lifted his head and looked into her eyes. "For what?"
> "For thinking I know everything." She pressed her hand against his cheek. "For not understanding your pain. For not helping you through it. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you, Marvin."
It was his turn to shake his head. He kissed the palm of her hand as he did so. "I shut you out, Shay. You couldn't be there for me."
"I could have tried harder."
Neither spoke for a moment, content to be together and know they were committed to staying together. Marvin noticed her lids begin to droop, and he pressed a soft kiss on her lips. "Go to sleep, sweetheart," he said. "You need your rest, and so does the baby."
Her eyes fluttered shut. "You'll be here?"
"Forever," he said, and she knew he meant it.
* * *
Shay stayed in the hospital for three days. The doctors had signed her discharge papers an hour ago, and she was more than ready to leave. She looked over at Vickie from her perch on the side of the bed. "Where is he?" she asked, referring to Marvin. "He knew I was going to be released today. If he had something else to do, he should have taken you up on your offer to take me home."
Vickie flipped through the pages in her Essence magazine. "He'll be here."
"What if something happened?" she asked, worried now.
Vickie tossed the magazine onto the chair next to hers. "Don't start. He's fine. Daniel and Bo are with him. They've been inseparable all the while you've been in here."
The truth in her friend's words made Shay smile. Bo had visited the hospital regularly, and she was encouraged that their relationship would be restored fully before long. She enjoyed the relationship she and Marvin had with the boy, and she looked forward to the role he would play in their lives. "What have they been doing?"
"Don't ask me," Vickie said. "Nobody tells me anything."
Shay considered her friend's words. "I know the feeling. Marvin's keeping a secret. They aren't planning a party, are they?"
Vickie lifted her shoulders in a feminine shrug. "If they are, they didn't tell me."
"That's probably what it is," Shay said. "I wish they hadn't gone to the trouble." She would have been perfectly happy to go home and be alone with her husband. She and Marvin had done a lot of talking while she'd been in the hospital, about things they should have talked about immediately after Marvin Jr.'s death. But maybe they hadn't been ready to talk about them then. Maybe the Lord had to bring them to Mississippi and plunk them down in the middle of a new place and new people to get them to the place where they could deal with old hurts.
Shay looked up when the door opened. "Ready, babe?" Marvin called as he walked through the door, pushing a wheelchair. "Your car service is here."
"I've been ready for an hour," she said, scooting off the bed. "And I don't need that chair. Where have you been? Tell me you didn't plan a party, Marvin."
"The chair is hospital rules," he said, reaching for her overnight bag. "And I didn't plan a party, Marvin."
She punched him playfully on the shoulder. "You know what I mean."
He kissed her, pushing her toward the chair as he did so. "Do I?" He turned to Vickie. "Has she been giving you a hard time?"
"I've been ignoring her. Nag, nag, nag. I don't see how you live with her."
Marvin and Shay laughed. Then Marvin said, "I live with her 'cause I don't want to live without her."
"Well, I think I'll leave you two to your lovefest and surprise parties." Vickie headed for the door. "I'll stop over sometime tomorrow, Shay."
"Thanks, Vickie," Shay said. "For everything."
"What was that about?" Marvin asked, staring after Vickie.
"The party. We figured out you, Daniel, and Bo have been as thick as thieves this week because you're planning a party. You should have let Vickie in on it," she said. "She's good at parties."
Marvin pulled open the door and pushed Shay through. "Yes, but can she keep a secret?"
Shay didn't bother to answer. Marvin managed to wheel her out of the hospital and get her settled in the car without incident. When he didn't take the expected route back to their house, she was sure he had planned a party. She cut him an accusing glare, but she didn't complain. She prepared herself to see her friends and enjoy a fun and relaxing afternoon. She had the rest of her life to be alone with her husband. She had no plans to be anywhere but at his side, and she knew he felt the same.
Shay wasn't surprised when Marvin turned down Tremont Street, but she was surprised that cars weren't lined up and down the Genesis House corner. She turned to him and lifted a brow. "A private party?"
He winked. "Something like that."
Marvin pulled up in front of Genesis House, helped her out of the car, and took her bag in hand.
"This is what you've been doing the last few days," she said, her voice oozing the joy she felt. The gate had been painted a bright white, the cracked sidewalk was no longer cracked, and the lawn was immaculate. Somebody had even planted a bed of fall flowers near the front steps. "You've been finishing up the work here."
"Now you're getting warm." He led her up the now repaired steps and across the freshly painted porch. A bright orange welcome mat greeted them, giving the house a lived-in look.
"Has Daniel moved in already?" she asked, as she followed him into the house. She stopped as she crossed the threshold. "It's beautiful, Marvin," she said, taking in the sparsely appointed room. African prints donned the walls, and three large area rugs covered the floor, effectively dividing the room into three living spaces. The only thing missing was the furniture. "You've done a wonderful job."
"Thank you, ma'am. Want to see the rest?"
"Please."
She took Marvin's offered hand, and he led her through the main room and to the smaller rooms off the hallway. "This is where I'll hang out," he said, pointing to the first small room, one of the ones she'd suggested they use for offices. She pushed aside the tinge of regret she felt that they wouldn't be living and working here together.
"It looks good," she said, moving behind him to the next room.
"And, of course, this is your space." Shay's eyes filled with tears at the white crib in the far corner of the room. She pressed her hand to her abdomen. Maybe they wouldn't live here as a family, but they'd work here as a family.
Seeing her tears, Marvin said, "I'll take those tears to mean you like it."
"I love it," she said. "You knew I would." She threw her arms around his neck. "And I love you too."
Marvin held her close, and she felt him tremble. "And I love you back, more than you know." He continued to hold her for a long moment before he pulled back. He grinned and tugged her along behind him. "Tour's not over yet." He headed upstairs, leading her first to the room she had wanted to use for their bedroom. Her eyes widened when she saw their furniture, their comforter on the bed, her jewelry box on the dresser. She turned to him, hope taking root in her heart. "Marvin?"
He wrapped his arms around her thickening waist and pulled her close. "Fear is a strange thing, Shay," he said. "It can make a man do strange and hurtful things. This is our home, the place God prepared for us, and we're going to live here."
Shay didn't want to press her good fortune, but she did want to understand. "What about the baby, the stairs?"
Marvin pressed a soft kiss against the curls on her head. "Fear, plain and simple. I know I was unreasonable, but all I ever wanted was to keep you and our baby safe because I knew that if I lost either of you I'd never recover. When you landed in the hospital with a concussion because you fell off the sidewalk— can you believe it, you fell off the sidewalk—I finally understood the futility of what I was trying to do. I had two choices: I could joyfully accept the blessings God offered me in you and our new baby, or I could miserably deny them. Neither choice would keep you safe, and neither choice would keep me from getting hurt again. I chose the former. I love you, sweetheart, and I'm never going to withhold my love or my care from you or our children again."
Shay's eyes glittered with tears. "Children?"
&
nbsp; "Children."
Shay turned in his arms and hugged him tighter. Right now she couldn't think of anything else in the world she wanted. She held in her arms and in her body all the desires of her heart.
Thank you, Lord.
The End
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
A Note From the Author
Dear Friends,
Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to spend some time with Shay and Marvin in Abiding Hope. Many of you who read Awakening Mercy wanted to know what happened to the couple, and I pray Abiding Hope settles your curiosity.
I continue to be blessed mightily by your response to Awakening Mercy. Thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement. It warms my heart to know that God used CeCe and Nate's story to minister to you. I really love the way God uses us to build each other up. I'm encouraged as I write the stories, you're encouraged as you read them, and I'm encouraged again when you write to me. I'm coming out a big winner in all of this, so again, thank you very much. Let's keep the circle of encouragement going.
In Abiding Hope, Shay and Marvin had another kind of circle going on—a circle of pain. Just as we can encourage one another, we can also hurt one another. Unfortunately, as with Marvin and Shay, many times the reason that we hurt others is because we're hurting ourselves. If you're hurting today, know that God wants to heal that hurt and give you the peace you need. Just open your heart and ask him. I guarantee that you won't be disappointed.
I love getting your letters, so do keep in touch. If you write me and don't hear from me within a reasonable time period, do drop me another line. You have not been forgotten. It probably means that your missive has been lost in the clutter that sometimes becomes my desk or my inbox, if not my mind. This doesn't happen often, but it has happened before and I wanted to let you know... just in case.
Well, I guess I should get back to work now. I've already started on the third story in the Genesis House series. I'll leave it to you to guess which characters you'll be seeing again.
Blessings,
Genesis House Inspirational Romance and Family Drama Boxed Set: 3-in-1 Page 47